Mmm, you brought snacks.
Now, maybe it’s just me, but I’d find, oh I don’t know, a show like, New York Umbrella Wars more compelling than a show called, The Virgin Diaries. I mean really, how do I know this chastity-belted maiden hasn’t been involved in some clothes-less debauchery?
And how can I be sure this allegedly vestal groom hasn’t gotten drunk on peppermint schnapps, and played a round of horizontal hustle with some experimental, free-loving harlot? Or maybe it just makes me feel like a heedless, man trolling Jezebel with daddy issues and low self esteem… Whatever, I’ll figure that out with my therapist.
Hold on there, I don’t dry-face-hump, I mean jeepers, didn’t we agree to take things slow?
In any case, the hour long “special” — a seemingly suitable word for their magical day of guaranteed, STD free-love making — focuses on six virginal adults who intend to finally lose it, so to speak. However, one member of the Virgin Diaries cast had engaged in sexual intercourse, changed her mind about it and decided she was a virgin again. Yippee! There’s hope for us floozies yet!
And what better medium to share your cherished, fornication-free past and intercourse-filled future than on a reality TV show! Where in which you can publicly exploit all those morals held sacred for so many years with the entire world! It doesn’t get much friskier than that, folks!
But all jokes aside, I didn’t believe these people were virgins until I saw a clip of a couple from the show who shared their very first kiss at their wedding. And I must say, their long-awaited wedding kiss looked more like a mother bird regurgitating partially-digested scraps into the mouth of its fledgling. As to which was on the receiving end of the supplementary feeding remains in question. So you be the judge.
Virgin Diaries airs Sunday, December 4 at 9 p.m. ET.
I respect a person’s decision to wait on sex and even admire them for it, but to hold out on kissing? How can you determine whether or not you have physical chemistry with the person you’ve decided to spend your life with? What if one inexperienced partner suddenly can’t meet the needs of the other inexperienced partner?