Lovelyish

Why don’t YOU ask a nice fellow out? If I don’t do anything nothing will get done around here, you know?

There’s nothing wrong with you. Just don’t expect life and all the good things that can come with it to be handed to you. Go out there and pursue it. If there’s a guy you like, why don’t you ask him to hang out?

What I found when I didn’t have a boyfriend was: I didn’t want one. I would turn guys down even without saying anything. I have perfected the “fuck off” posture and expression and it has continued to work for years. And when I finally found one I did want I just turned off the expression and “nabbed” him.

Girlllll, I feel ya. I’m 20 and have been single for my entire life. It sucks sometimes, but just think about how drama-free your life is when you don’t have to deal with someone else’s problems on top of your own! lol. In all seriousness, though, the few times I’ve been hit on have been when I haven’t been thinking about boys at all. So my advice would be to forget about it and live your life the way you want to live it. I’m a firm believer that things that are supposed to happen will happen. But when a nice guy finds you, don’t let him slip by!

I agree with the first post. Start looking for a guy you like and ask him out or give him a lot of attention and flirtation. Most guys aren’t brave enough to ask pretty girls out, so you need to get out there and let the ones you like know that you’re interested. (don’t get guy crazy though, because that is a huge turnoff)

I think the media has made many nice, pretty girls think that a guy will go to great lengths to ask a girl they like to go out with them. In reality, many worthwhile guys will do anything they can to avoid being rejected…which includes not asking a girl they like to go out if they aren’t being given any serious “I like you” vibes from the girl. Instead, they do it in slightly sneakier ways so pay attention if a guy asks you to do anything with him, whether it’s walking to class or studying.

Think: smiling extra big when he looks at you or touching his arm or prolonging eye contact to get you started.

Don’t worry; there’s nothing wrong with you! I’ve also been single my entire life (I’m seventeen though, which is probably the reason why), and I went through a phase when I wondered, “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” I started thinking that there was something wrong with me, and that I was doomed to die alone. In reality, most of the guys I come in contact with are immature, irresponsible, and only interested in using females to satisfy their physical needs. I figure that as I get older, I’ll be able to meet other nice, intelligent guys who are mature enough to enter a real relationship. You’ll find someone eventually. I know it’s really cheesy, but a watched pot never boils. You’ll probably find a boyfriend the second you stop looking for one.

Until then, you can watch Never Been Kissed, which basically summarizes my life as a female. I am Josie Geller. But that means Mr. Coulson is out there somewhere, haha.

Find someone you like and ask him out. Or maybe you need to flirt more. Send a message that you’re interested.

@Cambios@xanga - what she said.

i’m 22 and never had a serious relationship. It got to a point where i’m like screw this, Imma ask guys out myself, still no luck but I’m not giving up!! 

And I gotta give credit to guys because asking someone out is such a hard thing to do! I still have yet to master this art!

My former roommate is nearly 22 and never been kissed; she is, however, obese.

I wonder if you just don’t ever let a guy know that you’re interested. If you don’t want to ask them out, you need to at least give enough hints that they feel confident that they’re not going to get shot down.

i’m 21 and have never had a boyfriend either.  i used to think there was something wrong with me and that i was missing out, and then i watched girls stronger, prettier, and more confident than myself completely fall apart when their douchey boyfriends turned out to be, well, douchey.  i’d rather let romance happen organically, and i’m not yet at the point where i feel like i need to give online dating, speed dating, or anything like that a try, so for now i just try to be myself, be outgoing, and stay confident.

the older i get, the more i realize all those stereotypical “milestones” for when you should have your first boyfriend, when you should lose your virginity, when you should get married, when you should have kids, even when you should be settled in a career…they’re all pretty much BS.  everyone’s different and not all paths have to be linear and “typical”.  just love you and pretty soon someone else will too!  (or at least that’s what i’m banking on haha)

@darci - Yes! I completely agree!

I’m 22, and I swear I have the same story as you. Seriously! Trust me, I think about at times, and it really does suck, especially when you are completely surrounded by friends who are in relationships, and even those aren’t have been at one point, and you just can’t help but feel inferior to them because they are more “experienced.” Well, I won’t be able to give you any advice on the matter since I’m in the same boat as you, but I can let you know that I can completely relate from A to Z, and I guess the only thing you can do (other than ask a guy out yourself), is just keep doing your thing without trying to think about the fact that you’ve never been in a relationship, or keep from from focusing on guys in general, and when it’s time, the “perfect” guy will seek you out and approach you when it’s time. It’s going to happen when it’s supposed to happen! (hopefully that’s soon for you and I both )If I’m correct, guys make it pretty obvious when they like a girl, and unlike girls who will be a bit more reluctant to opening up to a guy she likes, the guy will never let the opportunity go. So I guess just keep patient, and he’ll come soon!

Okay, I was a bit late in this department, as well.  I don’t really have any advice, because my timing never worked so well.  (I got a guy when I most definitely wasn’t looking for one… so I don’t know what that says…) 

In any case, don’t worry that it’s you, just be yourself… I disagree with the asking a guy out advice, though.  If you’re not comfortable doing that, don’t make yourself into something you’re not – it seems like it would end up disappointing one or both of you down the road :/ 

Guys are verrryyyyyyy shy!! lol, I don’t know but if I want to be asked out , I give hints so……and it works!!..
If you just stay there and wait…chances are very slim that something will happen…You need to flirt a little?

you sound like a girl that guy would like to date, you have confidence , you’re not clingy sooo…..I’m guessing is that you need to step up and start flirting a bit. lol but dont’ ask the guy out..lol personally, I think that’s lame

This is an issue that I see with a lot of people where they have an enormous abundance in multiple areas of their lives and yet instead of seeing that they choose to see the few things that they do not have. So my first suggestion would be to stop focusing on that fact that you’re not receiving much attention from the male gender, but I’ll address that in a moment. Often times when you’re not looking for something (or someone) it appears. Focus on the great social life, the abundance of friends, the love of your family, everything that you have.

Having a similar background to yours (I was incredibly shy and awkward in high school) I do have a few pieces of “wisdom” that I’ll pass along to you.

1. Mr or Ms.Right, or even just anyone decent whose worth dating, will not be at a club, bar, or typical college party. Or if they are their defenses are going to be up and you won’t be able to tell whether someone is Mr.Right or Mr.Hyde.

2. 9/10 of the people one might consider “a catch” are either taken or not going to be single for very long. People always complain and ask why they date such assholes, bitches, etc. and it’s because they are taking what comes to them rather than seeking anything out. If you want a good grade in a class what did you probably do? Studied and worked your ass off, trying again and again until you succeeded, correct? The same principles apply to dating and relationships, you have to put yourself out there and that does not mean just standing in close proximity to cute guys. Again, someone else probably has their attention and thus you’re going to need to push through a bit of fear and initiate the conversation yourself.

3. Body language. Very few people are aware of the signals their bodies are sending off, often times we do so unconsciously. I will note though that often times women are far more adept at discerning as to what the mood of a person is based upon their body language. However, despite that and to repeat, many people are unaware of what messages THEIR body is transmitting. A great deal of success in life is dependent upon self awareness, being aware of one’s physiology falls into this category; I’ll add that such things as voice tone and eye contact are included in this area. And thus I would highly recommend getting a book or two on the topic of body language. I’d recommend either “The Definitive Book of Body Language” by Allan and Barbara Pease or Body Language Secrets by R.Don Steele.

I’d continue but I think this is long enough already. Hope this helps!

how to get a boyfriend: 

ask out a nice guy who has the same interest you do. go on a few dates with him.  Then after a time ask him to be exclusive

if that doesn’t work try again

I gave up on being involved with people a few months before I met my current boyfriend. We met at a mutual friend’s graduation party and immediately hit it off. Three years later, we’re still together.

I guess the moral of my story is that you should live your life the way you want it, and the right person will walk in at the right time.

Do you flirt?  Try encouraging guys to talk to you more often and it will happen.  A look, a smile, a bat of the eyelashes, that movie stuff really does work.  And then if you like a guy but he just doesn’t get the hint, it’s okay to be open and a bit aggressive.  Tell him straight “I think you’re handsome” or “Let’s go out sometime”.  He’ll bite.

Also, you say you hang out with friends a lot.  If you are always in a group it makes it a lot harder for a guy to approach you.

I had the opposite problem.  I’d be dating someone or not interested in dating at all but I’ll smile and make eye contact to be friendly and it’s usually misinterpreted as flirting.  So in essence, if you’re just ultra-super friendly it will work out.

The reason why women can’t find a nice decent man is because…..THEY ARE SO F**KING PICKY!!
Now…i might sound a little upset, but its true!! Women think they want this hunk kind of guy..nice looking, nice car, has money…blah blah blah….then he ends up cheating on her, is a slob, doesn’t help around the house or pick up after himself. If women would consider a guy who might not be so handsome…may not have those perfect looks….and try dating a few really nice guys. I might not be the handsome cut guy that women think about, but I treat a woman with respect, help with all the chores, im a wonderful father, might not have lots of money right now, but in nursing school and own my own home in a beautiful country club near Palm Springs Ca. So….my advice is to give a geek or an average looks guy a change…you’ll probably be a lot more happy than most women.