Lovelyish

i’m 17 and i can assure you most girls i know went through that phase or are still going through it.

I definitely think it’s not just a phase- it’s a serious mental issue and if girls start thinking it’s okay or normal to hate your body, the problem will escalate. That said, I do think a lot of young girls go through that time where they’re growing and insecure. That’s normal. But starving, purging, and depression are not to be taken lightly.
I was insecure when I was younger, but after seeing my best friend being mentally, physically, and emotionally destroyed by her ED, I realized how much it’s not worth it.

There really are girls out there with great body image, but I’m guessing most girls have periods of body insecurity, which is normal. However eating disorders are mental illnesses, which are treatable but not curable. Phases of insecurity end, mental illnesses do not.

I do think most young girls in their teens go through this. I always thought I was too small and skinny. I have to keep on my daughter, she is 12, and she constantly thinks she is fat or she has ugly legs. She is at that gangily stage and she is small and skinny for a 12 year old and she constantly comlpains about her height. I keep telling her small is definitely not a bad thing. She is like my sisters, very tiny. I am small boned, but taller than the rest of the women in my family except for one and she is 5’11, I am 5’8.

So I am trying to curb this thought process in my daughter before it becomes an actual eating disorder like my little sister had for a bit. She no longer has these issues, so I am trying to make sure my daughter doesn’t inherit it or develop it from society.

Depression is not a phase. It’s a mental illness. Yes, everyone gets insecure and down about themselves at times, but that is NOT the same as having depression or a genuine eating disorder, which is also a mental illness. Saying depression and eating disorders are “phases everyone goes through” is a massive insult to sufferers everywhere.

I think that most girls go through periods in their life where they aren’t happy with their body. Or where they feel insecure about it. 

I don’t think that actual depression and eating disorders are a phase everyone goes through. 

I think in some, the period of insecurity and unhappiness can escalate to a point where it reaches depression and eventually an eating disorder.

what we need to do as women is teach these girls how to love their bodies and how to be healthy. So that they don’t have to get to the point where they are starving themselves or binging and purging in order to look “right.”

I wouldn’t classify it as a phase.  Sure, there is a time in a woman’s life when she realizes how her body is perceived and any positive and negative things that go along with that.  But to say that someone suffering from an eating disorder is just going through a phase?  That’s pretty harsh and untrue.

Yes, some teenage girls experience it “in a phase” or at a time when that is deemed to be important to them.  But to generalize it to just that idea is too narrow-minded.  A lot of women experience times in their lives when they feel like they can gain control by doing it with their body and food.  A lot of women, I should add men too, deal with eating disorders for years!  I wouldn’t classify the two the same way.

I thought I passed this “stage” when I graduated from high school without experiencing any of the signs of depression or eating disorders. Unfortunately, I got them full-swing for almost three years of college instead. I don’t think it’s supposed to be a “stage,” but our society is so messed up, females just seem to have to go through it. It’s depressing just thinking about it. 

For some, it’s a phase.  For some, it’s a nasty persisting psychological condition (often brought on by other psychological conditions) that can last a really long time and come and go during different parts of life.  I started experiencing depression as a teenager and when I got to college I developed a borderline eating disorder and major obsessive issues with my body.  I then found out that I have OCD, which is caused by genetic factors (my mom has it too) and generally does not ever “go away.”  I had thought that by now, at age 26, my body image woes would be solved, but I’m wondering if it’s something I’ll struggle with off and on for my whole life.  Sometimes I feel exactly like I did when I was 19 and think that perhaps being overly self-critical is the only way I’ll ever be able to find the motivation lose weight.  Also, classifying it as a teenage phase belittles grown women who suffer from eating disorders for YEARS.  It makes them feel like their plight is insignificant or that they should somehow have gotten over it earlier.  But that’s not true.

The problem is that if your goal is weight loss, you find that obsessing over it works.  It motivates like none other.  But it destroys your mind and self-image in the process, sometimes irrepairably.  At the time you don’t care because you’re getting skinny, but in the end you are doing permanent damage to your thoughts.  I think our society puts a lot of pressure on women appearance-wise (and all the fat-bashing doesn’t fucking help), so for normal girls it might be a phase (and still painful) but for girls who are predisposed to obsess and feel shitty, it is far more than a phase and it often does not pass with adulthood.

I didn’t do anything like that.

Everyone gets depressed sometimes. Not everyone gets clinical depression or cuts themselves.

Everyone gets insecure sometimes. Not everyone develops eating disorders.

There’s a big difference here. There’s the phase-type stuff (teenage moodswings and angst and insecurity) and then there’s the serious-issue stuff — depression, self-harm, eating disorders. The latter stuff is more common among teens because they’re going through the phase-type stuff and they’re more prone to it, but it’s not exclusive to young people.

I was always happy with myself during my teen years. Other girls always whined though, but I didn’t surround myself with these type of girls because they brought my confidence level down and I felt their expectations were far fetched. As a result, I was much more successful in comparison to these girls not only male attention, but life in general.

I don’t think it’s a phase. I think these girls go on in life and stress about their weight and looks after marriage, children, stress, and age. Just because they gain it, doesn’t mean they’re not worrying about it, it just means they would rather complain about it than fix what they can and accept what they can’t… and at some point, finally reward themselves with saying “I’m beautiful.”

@written_conversations@xanga - Yes, thank-you.  If it’s a “phase,” it’s a temporary time when you’re feeling down but it’s not clinical depression.  And having body image issues once in awhile that you overcome does not mean you have an eating disorder.  NOt to  mention the fact that people (men and women) of all ages can have eating disorders, so to say it’s a teenage phase is kind of a slap in the face to those people.

I did go through an eating disorder phase that only lasted 6 months. I refuse to let someone sit there and tell me I have a fucking mental illness just because of some stupid little PHASE I went through in high school.

I also became depressed for months after the guy I was in love with broke up with me when I was in college. Again, for someone to say that it’s either a mental illness or it just wasn’t real, I was just “down on myself” can go shove it up their ass.

@LoveeeLikeASunset@xanga - I don’t think anyone’s trying to say that just because you aren’t clinically diagnosed with something that it’s somehow not real, because that’s a bunch of bullshit.  Of course it’s real, and of course it hurts deeply.  There is no black-and-white and no “if it isn’t a mental illness it’s not real” dichotomy.  The problem is that people belittle each other’s problems because we don’t understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes.

But it does feel insulting if you’re someone with a disorder you’ve been struggling with for years and people have this perception that you’re just “going through a phase.”  It’s insulting when I hear from people “Just quit thinking negatively” or “Just stop thinking obsessively, you don’t really need medication, you just have to change your thoughts, you’ll get over it.”  Because I may never get over it, I can only try my best to manage the symptoms.

Ive never had an ED but I’ve been depressed since I was younger. Ive just recently been diagnosed.

I think it’s possible for some people for it just to be a phase. If your depressed for one day that doesn’t make you clinical depressed. I remember i spent the most of my senior year of high school depressed, with it only getting more and more worst as the year went on. 

For me, the two went hand-in-hand. I’m not sure if it was a phase or what, but it’s something I’m still dealing with 6 years later.

I would say all teens go through hard times due to chemical imbalances. But if it is a “phase” it will be gone by age 21. I experienced that with my friends. I was always the secret keeper. My friends would come to me telling me how they purged once or cut themselves a few times and I sat there not saying anything, because I suffered day in and day out with that stuff. I hated that they reported eating disorders to me when I would have killed to just be normal.

Sometimes I felt like they were trying to compare themselves to me, simply because they felt I got attention for my eating disorder and self harm issues. Now I have a severe mental illness and the “attention phase” has long phased out and now they’re all starting their lives and I’m sick all the time. And we’re 25 and most of them walked away after they realized they weren’t getting attention for my sickness either. They would come and visit me in psych wards, just so they could go back and tell their college friends they were in a psych ward. It got on my nerves and I walked away from most of the rest of them back at age 20 or so. Their maturity wasn’t to my liking. 

I think its a phase. All these parents are over-parenting and spoiling their children. A lot of girls go from hearing how pretty and smart and awesome they are all the time when theyre children, and then they become teenagers and enter the real world and don’t know how to deal with the fact that they aren’t as perfect and special as they thought. 

Then they over compensate by setting unrealistic standards of beauty for themselves, and they become depressed. 
I went through it. 

I don’t consider mental illnesses phases.

If you go into recovery, that’s good for you, but that doesn’t mean it was a teenage phase. Calling these things phases makes them sound less serious. Like people saying, ‘oh it’s just a phase, they’ll get over it.’ A lot of people don’t. Mental illnesses aren’t something that most people just get over when they grow up. 

I’ve never had an eating disorder, but.. I have been and still somewhat am depresses and I know thats not a phase.. I try everyday to try and be happier but its hard. Its not for attention (as I dont tell people I am depressed.. The only person who knows this is my bf) or anything. I wish it could just end but like I said, its hard.. I dont think self esteem is a phase either, which is why girls go through anorexia and such. Depression sucks big time. I am depressed because I think of myself as ugly, but nothing changes how i feel no matter how I change myself, so that cant be it.. I think it is a chemical embalance in your brain. Which I know alot of people dont believe that, but how can it not be true if nothing changes?

@deemure@xanga -  Yeah, that is true. Its normal for people to be sad like, a day and stuff, but when it goes on for months, years ect then thats definietley not a phase..

I have an eating disorder.. Trust me, it’s NOT a phase.

I wouldnt call it a phase, otherwise mine is lasting a long time… 14years. Security issues, yes, i think girls have that and it is more like a phase, i am sure boys have one too. Eating disorders, self mutilation, depression (the clinical sort, not the “i feel bad today” sort) etc are not phases. Those are illnesses or disorders, they need treatment.

I did all the above my sophmore-senior years near the end of my senior year I just decided enough was enough and I was not gonna make myself feel like shit every day anymore and just let it all go and started really trying to love myself.  I stopped worrying about what i thought everyone else thought and stopped questioning stupid things that were really not important and really nonexistant.  About half way through I was seriously contemplating suicide, it was the dominating thought in my mind 24/7 which also drove me crazy.  I had lost about 45 pounds and was obsessed with my collar and cheek bones sticking out and making my stomach as thin as possible i weighed myself multiple times every day and went thorugh a check list of irrational measurements and habits.  I had a minimum off 1000 sit ups i had to do every day along with other exercises and would go for a run every day and push myself untill i threw up.  I started having lots of pains and chronic heartburn from throwing up or simply not eating.  When i would get home from school i would just go sit in my room and turn on the radio and act like noone else existed.  I talked to my parents and asked for help a couple times but they just ignored it, i guess they didnt want to believe anything was actually wrong.  lol i guess long sleeves in 98 degree weather, rapid and drastic weight loss, and obvious depression were not a good enough red flag for them.  I relapsed a couple times but managed to pull myself out of it.  I knew i was going to end up killing myself one way or another if i kept doing what i was doing.  Now im about as happy and comfortable as i can be and have learned to accept and love myself.  I actually could stand to loose about 50 pounds because im at 250 and would like to be under 200 ideally 175 for my body size and type.  Its not that im uncomfortable just chunky lol so is my hubby.  It will have to wait a few weeks and i will definitely start slow cuz my baby girl is due any day now, i just want to be healthy and around for her for as long as i can be.

Eating disorders and MDD are not just phases of hating yourself. Unhealthy dieting is not a disorder. Something generally becomes a disorder if it’s maladaptive to the point of significantly interfering with basic or expected functioning for a significant amount of time – not ALWAYS true, but a pretty good guideline. Actual diagnostic criteria can be found in the current edition of the DSM, and that’s about it – there is a reason these things are standardized, and one important reason is, for example, distinguishing between someone who occasionally fad diets because their butt looks big in skinny jeans and someone whose eating behavior is mercilessly strict, patterned, and causing damage to their internal organs. As unhealthy as all the behaviors you listed are, they are not disorders in and of themselves.

So, are you asking if most people go through phases of being insecure and struggling with body image? You know the answer to that already. Or are you asking if most people go through phases of serious diagnosable disorders that often involve years of treatment and multiple relapses? Because I think you know the answer to that, too.

Bottom line, these terms are not toys and no qualified, licensed professional would diagnose ANYONE based on whatever bizarre methods you’re using to determine these things. Even if a person is telling you their experience directly, consider the context. I’ve never seen anyone have insurance, Medicaid, or disability benefits cover therapy or provide supplemental income for “sometimes I’m sad and it makes me cry” or “I like complaining about my weight.” This may be something to consider.

the more u kno~~~

I wouldn’t call things like depression and eating disorders and self harming a “phase”– they are legitimate issues that a lot of people (not just girls) go through– it can start in their teens, or adulthood, or even for some childhood. To me, calling it a “phase” just brushes off all seriousness of those issues. 

@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - ”The way you worded your reply though about
depression and eating disorders to me almost sounds belittling to those
of us who have sadly had to deal with clinical depression on an extended
basis or those who have had eating disorder issues. “

I don’t understand why it would seem belittling since I would never say what I dealt with was even close to being as serious as clinical depression and long term ED’s. It’s just somethings that I went through in life.

I think almost every girl goes through some sort of body issue phase and diets but I think “eating disorder” is being used too lightly. I had an eating disorder that started when I was about 12 and even though I’m much better now, it’s still something that affects me. Most girls who have some sort of “eating disorder” just stay on a strict diet which is nothing compared to what I or other girls I’ve spoken to with real eating disorders when through. 

I do not think it’s a phase at all. I am medically diagnosed with Anorexcia and I know alot of girls eho have never gone through this. I’ve been to rehab and still suffer. I’ve been depressed and I’ve cut. I serisouly can say this is not a phase, it’s life.

I’ve been depressed and hallucinating since I was nine years old. I’m eighteen now. I’m pretty sure it’s not a phase. 

As someone who has been on their death bed numerous times due to these issues, I must say depression and eating disorders at their worst are definately not just phases. Though most girls do struggle with some kind of distorted image of themselves, it takes the true disorder itself to be one which evolves into a woman stuck in the vicious cycle of a slow and painful suicide. It’s important to nip it in the ass when the blurred reality becomes a harming condition. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, your life matters and is not meant to be lived with the daily anguish of depression and an eating disorder, or either of the two. Love yourself because when your life is barely in grasp is when you will realize just how precious your life is. Don’t let it be too late.

The actual illnesses are not phases. But girls can have times when they feel depresses or have issues with their body. The difference comes in with how it affects them, for how long, and if it takes over their life really. The smaller issues are common but they are not the actual mental illnesses. The illnesses can be very serious and are not as light as some people make them out to be. The issue has come down that a lot of people are self-diagnosing now (and even being misdiagnosed by someone who just wants to give out medication) when their problem is only momentary and something that probably won’t turn serious (though it can). If you see the people who have the actual illnesses, you see that they struggle with it all their life. For example, I have clinical depression. Even after getting control of it for a few years, it reared it’s ugly head again when I started letting my anxiety get out of control and I guess my serotonin also went out of whack again. So I’m back on medication for a bit until therapy can help again. I’ll always expect some sort of cycle like this to occur though and I have to make it work into my life. I have friends who do have moments of true sadness that can last a bit. But they can pull themselves out and easily see the bright side; it is not clinical. 

I did go through a very rough period in my teen years of depression, self-injury, and eating disorders. It was most definitely not a phase. It has been three years since I feel I broke out of that period of my life, but it still haunts me from time to time. Insecurity may be a phase, and how one acts on those insecurities, but true depression, self-injury and starvation are all real psychological conditions that do require some sort of help.

Been there, definately. But I’d hate to think that this is something all girls must go through at one point in there lives. I think this just shows the kind of pressure socitey and acceptance bestows upon us all.

Sadly, I think that it is a phase, I don’t really know any of my friends who haven’t done one of those things at some point, myself included.

Ehh, I don’t think girls are the only ones going through this “phase.”

An eating disorder (and the others disorders listed) is by no means merely “a phase”. Bulimia has ruined at least ten years of my life, from my childhood to my adult years.. unless we’re considering ten years as a fucking phase in this society now.

@FallingSafely@xanga - Most of my friends walked away from me too when we got to college.  Apparently my bulimia was “too much” for them to handle.  I wish they’d have tried to see what it was like FOR ME to actually be going through it.  It wasn’t about them, and they made it about them.

I actually say this to my boyfriend anytime I relapse and start purging or starving or anything.  I’m always like “I thought I was DONE with this shit.”  But no, bulimia and anorexia have had a prominent position in my life for the past 9 years.  I have two friends who went through really bad anorexia who say the same stuff, like, they know it’s stupid and unnecessary and why aren’t they just over it yet, etc, and that’s because it’s NOT just a phase, it’s a real mental illness.

I think its possible (and probably common) for girls to go through phases of disordered eating or crash dieting, but that isn’t the same as an eating disorder.  Just as it’s normal to get depressed when bad things happen.  Clinical depression and eating disorders are just pathological extremes of otherwise “normal” behavior or emotions.

@posterofagirlxx@xanga - Amen to this… I hate when people go through life events and then claim to know what it’s like for me having a severe mental illness, because they were “depressed”. No… just no. There problem is unique and of it’s own, but comparing it to mine makes me upset, because I have no reason to be like this. It will never get any better for me. I will always to some extent be ill. No matter how well my life is going, no matter what promotions I get at work or how many children I give birth to. I will always deal with this stuff. It’s chemical and grief isn’t the same.

But on another note. I found that having a severe mental illness so early in life that many people at that age just don’t have the maturity capable of supporting someone with that. Which is sad. I have maybe one friend my age who can handle it, and what it entails. Otherwise all my friends are late 20s plus.

I went through this phase hard. I don’t starve myself or cut myself anymore. I guess I’ve just learned to deal with my self-hatred more sensibly.

I’m still trying to shake that phase, i’m 22, and it’s effing hard! I think it’s become a lot more common now that food and social pressure is thrown at us from EVERYWHERE. tv, movies, bilboards, shop windows, celebs etc…

Calling these things a phase takes away the seriousness of the illness. Don’t be like that: it’s really obnoxious and ignorant.

NEDA: What is an eating disorder?
Today Show: 6 in 10 women have eating disordered behavior [video]
Disordered Eating Behavior: What’s going on with me?
This is Anorexia Nervosa.
This is Bulimia Nervosa.

Mental
illnesses are not a “phase.” Also, you are confusing eating disorders
with disordered eating behavior. I bet at least 70% of Americans have
disordered eating behavior. Here’s an example: I’m not going to eat all
day so I can fit into that dress tonight. Or, I can’t have that brownie
because I didn’t work out today/I didn’t “earn” it. Or, I’m going to
skip breakfast so I can eat dessert when I go out to dinner tonight.
Eating disorders are an extreme. Only about 11 million people in America
are diagnosed with one each year.

The pain of an eating disorder
is immense. It’s not a phase, and it’s not the same as just having
disordered eating behavior. If you’ve ever had an eating disorder you
would understand; it’s like being suffocated every single day with the
weight of counting calories/exercising/weighing yourself/measuring
yourself. It’s an obsessive thing. It’s not a “phase.”

I was first depressed at 11, suicidal at 12. I tried to convince myself it was a phase for 6 years until I finally got help, aka landing in a psych ward. The eating stuff is more of a phase for me because it wasn’t serious and wasn’t going to kill me (or at least I stopped before that point), because the eating was more of just a coping this to help try and deal with everything else that wanted me dead.

So, I’m 20 now, that’s almost 10 years, and if that’s a phase that is one L O N G ass phase.

I consider my illness something chronic I’ll always have to manage. I wish it were a phase instead, but I know it’s not.

@written_conversations@xanga - Hey, Im not saying they ARE, im paraphrasing an idea -  and god knows ive been through it all myself, and i know its an illness and it tears apart your body and mind, but when something seems so common, does that label “phase” apply? in a media/community sense