Lovelyish

Well, I’m 24 and have never dated/had a boyfriend. I’ve had guys like me, but either wasn’t interested in them or wasn’t allowed to date them. So I can be naive when it comes to actually dating too.

Also, my father often treats me like a 3 year old, so I’m afraid that when I DO start dating, the whole treating-me-like-a-little-kid thing will just get worse. Oy. Sorry, guess I wasn’t much help.

Most guys are lame when it comes to trying to pick up women.  They never learn what attracts women.

Here’s a site that teaches you how dating works: http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/earth/geology/carbon-14.htm

Hope this helps you with your dating!

question for women: how do you feel about texting? does it play a big part in your intrest in a guy? or talking in person? 

i’m asking because i hate texting

He seems so nice

Ohmygosh, have you been reading my diary? This sounds like my life right here.

Yes and no.  Yes, I think you should be interested in someone to go out with them, and it is kind of pointless otherwise, but on the other hand, it’s nice to just go out for funsies.  I mean, it’s all about experience.  So I guess, depending on how much you like this guy and how bored you are, you can’t go wrong with either choice.  I would usually go out with a guy at least once if I even had a tiny feeling that maaaaybe it could be good, because what have you got to lose?  Plus, if you had that strange feeling, those will be resolved once being with him because either it’ll dissipate or it’ll be your worse fears and from there you can move on!  If anything it’ll make a good story!!

He seems overly clingy for just meeting him. I mean I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that he shows interest and enthusiasm in you. I just feel like from personal experience that may be a lot of contact in two days. I think you should give the guy and shot and good luck!

sometimes i wonder what i do wrong..

why did he go with someone else to the food thing??? he seems to really dig you by the sound of it though… mayhbe he sees that you are pretty innocent and doesnt know how to go about courting you… =/either way i say go on a damned date! enjoy yourself for petes sake! and at least you found a guy who doesnt seem to play the wait game. that shits annoying. good luck!

omg your like me. I’m oblivious. I have no idea if a guy is trying to flirt with me or just talking to me to be polite. But yeah, GO ON THE DATE. tell me how it goes

I say, go on the date. If you end up liking him, then great! and if not, then you got some dating experience! It’s a win-win situation. 

you seem overwhelmed by his attention since it is new to you-I think it is adorable though. hopefully, he isn’t one of those crazies that flip out when you reject him after the first date>_< he could seem like a great catch, but if I’m not feeling him regardless of that, then no matter how interested he is or how great he is, he isn’t for me-no spark usually if I’m interested, I’ll quickly respond back to his texts, calls, etc. otherwise, I’ll find his attention to be obnoxious than flattering. personality matters of course, but he’d still have to be cute to me. attraction matters, too.

Here’s my only advice: do the exact opposite of whatever Jenn from Datingish says.

just go. but be prepared if hes an asshole or player idk why he’d say that girl was “boring” especially if he asked her to go

just go! you got nothing to lose. have fun! let him impress you , take you out  etc
no need to over analyze anything. just go and see what happens. Could be your best memory!! take  a risk!   live life!

Point is have fun. A date does not mean commitments or anything, it’s just hanging out and having fun.

Don’t sweat it. 20′s young in the dating world, and I believe your tuition seems to be steering you alright so far.

Honestly, I think this guy is clingy & is trying too hard to impress you. Yes, it’s great that he didn’t follow the 3-day rule (or did you say 2?), but somewhat bombarding you with texts AND the fact that he called you twice in one day WITH voicemails both times… That’s a sign that you may have to be on your toes about him. He’s too into you already. He seems like he’s someone who hasn’t had a girl for the longest time/he’s someone who’s too attached to the concept of having a girlfriend, so he’s kind of constantly contacting you.Then him texting you while he’s with company? It sounds like he’s trying to show off, like, “Yeah, I’m with my friends, but I’m too good for them to pay any attention & instead zero-in on my phone.” Nuh-uh. Not okay, and you’re right about that.
With that said, it doesn’t hurt to go out with him. Dating is meant to be fun anyway. He’s a restaurant evaluator, huh? I’m actually a tad jealous that you can date a guy who does that! (No, really. As a foodie, the conversations about judging restaurants would be so much fun to gab about…) Anyhoo! If the date doesn’t go well, then you can think it over a bit more if you want & even choose to cut things off with him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Cheers!

i’m almost 20 and have never had a bf (besides one that doesn’t count in 8th grade)

anyway, i think this guy sounds sweet. kind of really persistent, but at least he seems more interested in you than just a booty call.

also, if this stuff doesn’t typically happen to you, let it happen. it might be great. also, being our age and not actively dating, or whatever, it’s a good idea to get in the game i guess and get some experience

@hotboyollie@xanga - To me personally, texting plays a big part in my relationship/ initial stages of talking to a guy. Maybe its because I’m young, and texting is everything, but I feel as though if a guy can not take the time to text me, he’s not interested in me in the long run.

@hotboyollie@xanga - I’d say most girls find it a pretty big deal. I had a boyfriend once who never bothered to text me, but who could get online to talk to his friends, and it just made me feel like he couldn’t be bothered to speak to me. It’s not hard to send a couple of texts of day, even if you don’t like texting all that much.

have confidence! ok. that is easier said than done. (a source of confidence can come from not caring what other people think of you. i know over analyzing every aspect of everything is where you find comfort and ease(heck i’m the same), but taking a risk is what makes life enjoyable. baby steps, baby steps.) i think you should at least go to a dinner with him. have a back up. have your friend “call” you to bail you out in the middle of dinner if you’re not feeling the vibe. i think dickinson said it best “That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.”  even if things don’t work out i hope you can at least get away with experience for the future. you’re a gorgeous woman, don’t be surprised if many guys ask you out.(:

maybe you should just give it a try! haha. you’ll never know.

And he sounds like a nice guy, he deserves a chance?Maybe a lunch date.. if you think he passed, then dinner.

Give it a try, you have to learn from experince.

He seems overly eager? A date isn’t a lifetime commit thing either, it’s just a date. I would have dumped him from my “possible date” list for texting me while on a date with another girl. In my book that shouts volumes about who a man is, and what it shouts loudly is that he’s uncaring and rude. No matter how boring she is; if you’re my kind of guy you don’t text rude comments about her to me while you’re out with her. You don’t text me at all while you’re out with her.

I love all the advice from the clueless.  Girls, ever wonder why you have no dates, or they just never seem to work out?  The guy is interested.  Give him a chance ON A REAL DATE.  The ones in your head never work out.  It cracks me up how there are millions of pretty girls that shoot themselves in the foot before they even try on the shoes.  Look, we men are hunters.  Some are quiet, and some make noise to attract.  He is a noisy hunter and is trying to figure out your language.  If you don’t like the texts or voice mails, then tell him. For goodness sakes, DON’T listen to a lot of these girls who are a couple years older than you because they are doing the same thing you are, over thinking!  I pursued my wife for 6 years.  We have been together almost 25 now!  My wife still says I was a stalker and am still a freak, but really, that’s what she wanted.  Someone who cared enough to not quit.  We all seem stalkerish because we are hunters!  Duh  GO ON A DATE!

@hotboyollie@xanga - I hate texting. I never even use my phone and my boyfriend doesn’t even have a cell BUT most of our communication is over MSN. We still see each other at least once a week though, and that’s the most important thing to me.

That happened to me and he turned out to be batshit crazy and stalked me for months.

I’m not saying that’s what he is, but just look out, haha.

If he seems like he has potential, you should definitely go out on a date with him. The only reason not to is if you have an actual reason not to (you don’t find him attractive physically or mentally, you don’t want to date anyone right now). If you want to give him a chance, but to chill on the texting and calls, just say “Hey, you seem cool, I’d love to go out with you when I have time, but could you limit the texting/calling a bit? You are overwhelming me.”

It sounds like you have some interest, you are just overwhelmed by HIS interest in you. He either really really likes you or he is just generally over enthuistic.

hahaha i didn’t read the whole thing but i love your criteria for perfect on paper. jewish, mets fan, wears glasses, etc. perfect.

Stop thinking and texting.  Pick up the phone and CALL.  You’ll get almost all of your answers very quickly.

@hotboyollie@xanga - personally, i actually like texting and sometimes prefer it to face-to-face conversations. i feel texting/chatting/emailing gives me more time to think about what i want to say and how to convey the message….i’m probably more shy and quieter when conversing in person. 

dude, this comment is no help at all for the questions you have but I just wanted to say you pretty much just described me.  I think too much.  I think I should have a real interest in a guy before I am willing to go on a date.  I actually have to be friends with a guy before I will even consider dating him.  I know that limits my options but at least, I will already know that we like each other in some way or another if we are already friends…

          I didn’t have my first date/boyfriend until I was 21. But you know what I would do in your situation, since I have/had no experience until that age too?

If there is any slight positive feeling I have for the guy, I’d meet him up for a date/hangout (I mean, you WILL have to go on a date eventually.. not with him, I mean in general). OR if you are completely unattracted, unintrested, reject him flat out. You could also do this after giving him a chance… and tell him in honest truth you aren’t looking for a relationship, and he is a great friend.

And I feel it’s totally normal not have dated until a later age. Just don’t let more experienced jerks play you though, or tell you what is *normal* in a relationship… just because we tend to be less experienced, naive, and confused. 

P.S. I am also a firm believer in paying attention to the people you are with, instead of being a text-addict. I would often tell my guy that his friend totally deserves his attention. But, you should def be flattered that he’d rather talk to you than whom ever he’s with. If he does that when he’s with you, let him know how you feel about it. If he’s totally into you, he shouldnt be texting when you’re together.

I don’t think it hurts to try. I hate “what ifs” in life so I like to take the risk if good may come out of it. If it doesn’t work, at least now you can say you have some dating experience.

God, no wonder I’m forever alone. I think too much.
I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME. LOL. I was actually in that situation once, I ended up getting really annoyed and ignoring the guy when…okay, okay, in retrospect, I should’ve just told him to back off. I’d say trust your intuition, if it feels weird, don’t go for it. Unless you tell him to back off a bit and you work things out, but I’m personally a pretty independent person; I don’t like a guy to text me 3 times before I get a chance to answer.
I’m 20 too, and I only recently got my first boyfriend of almost two months now :X I had decided to give him a chance, and for me there was a definite interest, even though I had recently confessed to someone else haha.

well u can go out on a date with him so he’ll stop bugging you. if you guys like each other, then u can go out. it doesn’t mean you have to be his girlfriend after that date

@Pastor_Rock@xanga - Best comment on the post. Go on the date!

The guy sounds more enthusiastic about you than you about him at this point, but if you like him/ think he’s kinda nice then try going on a date with him and tell him to just cool it a bit with the texting.  It’s really nice to know there are a few other girls out there like me that are 21+ and haven’t dated before.  I just started dating a guy and it’s so nerve racking to me and time consuming/processing just going out with him or thinking of going out with him…  I seriously feel stupid for not being able to not get nervous every time we are going to meet up somewhere or get together.  I’m myself, I just get nervous with the whole concept of dating though.   I highly doubt/feel like I can deal with the nerves enough to ever date a whole ton.

I’ve been on dates with guys that I wasn’t really interested in and by the end of it, I did become interested in the guy. Go for it, you never know what could happen. If you don’t like him by the end, that’s okay, you don’t have to.