Stop f***ing up Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg!

All I want to do is RSVP to party invites, spy on my ex-boyfriend and LOL at the inane things all my high school friends are saying, and you keep sorting my friends into coach and first class and Hufflepuff and people I’ve slept with and people who will never sleep with me in a million years and Calvinists and douchebags and oversharing pregnant ladies.

Are you guys confused, too? Is this the worst thing ever? I mean, no. But feel free to follow me and Beca on Twitter, where life seems to have purpose and meaning!