So, I don’t believe in diamonds. It’s not that I don’t believe in the actual gemstone, I do, it’s just that I don’t believe in diamonds for engagement purposes. Kind of like how I don’t believe in unicorns, or stealing from sweet little old ladies. It’s just not my thing.
I believe in diamonds serving a certain purpose. It’s the hardest rock nature can make, years and years of coal under pressure that most times creates an ugly smoky mass that can be used for a myriad of different purposes. That part is true. And it’s one hell of a cutting tool as well. It’s just that I don’t believe in the idea of the diamond, as society knows it.
If you don’t know anything about diamonds other than that you’re supposed to get one when your boyfriend proposes, I’m going to let you into a few secrets of the diamond industry. Diamonds are one of the most brilliantly marketed products this country has seen since cigarettes.
Just a little history lesson, in 1938, the De Beers group approached N.W. Ayer & Son, a prominent Advertising agency in New York. The price of diamonds had been stagnant at around $80 (1938 money) and De Beers was having a very difficult time convincing people that diamonds were the way to go for their gemstone of choice. The agency came up with the idea to convince young men and women that diamonds were a symbol of love, and that a long lasting love could never be complete without a clear sparkling stone. This had never been done with a stone before.
To create the idea that diamonds were the world’s rarest gem, N.W. Ayer & Son convinced De Beers to start locking up their stock of diamonds in safes to keep from over-saturating the market. Since De Beers owned around 80 percent of the diamond mines in the world, this was not a problem. Well funded ad campaigns involving celebrities, royalty and prominent female figures started to come out. Soon enough, everyone was convinced that “Diamonds are Forever.” Ads fueled by De Beers came out creating the idea that diamonds needed to be held on to, not passed down, and that the more diamonds you had stored away, the more wealth you would be seen to have.
In my mind, cigarettes are this country’s greatest marked product. But Diamonds have to be the second most amazingly marketed product in our country. Girls everywhere are convinced that their man doesn’t love them enough to actually want to spend forever with them unless they buy the biggest, clearest, best cut diamond they can’t really afford. If diamonds are forever, why is marriage not held to the same standard?
The government should come out with the same marketing campaign for marriage, “Marriage is Forever.” Or, force women to give their ring to the state when they get divorced as a penalty for the couple breaking their vows and causing the state so much trouble. The man would be out of a ton of cash, and the woman would be out of the shiny jewel she was never going to wear again. One year of celebrity divorces, and California would be debt free for sure.
I don’t have GEICO insurance because a caveman told me to buy it, and I don’t drink Coca Cola because polar bears do and I don’t think smoking hot girls will actually show up in my shower if I use Axe body wash. So tell me, Lovelies, why would I want to purchase an overpriced rock if the only reason they’re popular is because a long running ad campaign has made it seem that way?