I spent two years of my high school career in an abusive relationship. Why did I stay? Because I didn’t know that what I was going through wasn’t normal. I realized towards the end (when things became unbearable) that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Here are five signs that made me recognize that my relationship wasn’t healthy.
1. He/she exhibits hate towards those you love. If your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is trying to separate you between those who love you (your friends and family), that is a big red flag. An abuser will try to make you feel like you’re alone so that you feel like you can not break up with them. They may even try to make you believe that these people are hurting your relationship. Don’t fall for it. The only person hurting your relationship is the abuser.
2. Extreme jealousy. There is a point between being jealous and letting it overrule your entire relationship. This boy in question once stole my phone and deleted every male name out of my contact list out of pure jealousy. This is not okay. If you can’t trust one another, then why be together?
3. He/she pressures you to do things you don’t want to do. If you love and care about someone, you should respect their decisions when it comes to everything from alcohol, drugs and especially sex. This boyfriend in question would never force me to do anything sexual with him, but he would give me the cold shoulder and say hurtful things to me if I didn’t do what he wanted. If someone loves you, they will also respect you. You should never do anything that you’re not comfortable doing.
4. Violence. Words can hurt, sometimes more than anything physical. Once your relationship starts to get violent, either with words or fists, that is as big of a sign of any that is it time to split.
5. Name calling. In the beginning, my boyfriend was sweet and doting but after awhile, he would constantly say to me, “You’re stupid.” At the end of the relationship, it was a daily occurrence for him to tell me that I had no friends, that I was fat, you name it, he probably said it.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be scary, but it is always possible. Don’t let your significant other make you feel like you’re not going to be okay without them, because you will be. This was hard to write, but I hope my warning signs and story will help someone.
What do you think are the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, Lovelies?