Lovelyish

This is stupid. You’re stupid. I want to hit you!

NO DON’T BREAK UP WITH ME I’M SORRY, I LOVE YOU, I PROMISE I WILL CHANGE.

You forgot “He guilt trips you for the stupidest shit imaginable”.

My boyfriend calls me fat ball, but he’s from China so it doesn’t count xD 

Yeah, guilt tripping and plain ‘ol manipulation… which 3 and 5 are parts of. 

Turning every flaw of the relationship around to make it your fault and not his (or hers). 

Also if you find yourself saying “I’m sorry” all the time and he never does.
Getting mad at you and then getting violent against objects, or against your own body of course. 
When he starts keep track of your money, spending habits, and your whereabouts.
When he starts suggesting things you “should” do with your money and time. 

When he doesn’t want to meet your friends because they’re all “c***s and moth**f***ers.”
When he criticizes every aspect of your life… from your family, to your major, to the jeans you decided to wear during the bloated days of your period.
When he doesn’t want to listen to you talk about the friends you spent time with… it’s preferable that you just don’t spend any time with them.

sounds like spencer pratt when he was on the hills

*Name calling
*Physical Abuse
*Mental and Emotional Abuse
*Separation from Friends and Family
*Hardcore guilt trips

*Everything is blamed on you/your family/etc.
*Pretty much anything to make you feel like a stray, unwanted dog.
I’ve seen it happen. It’s never okay to go through this. I’m glad you left, because you deserve much better. Keep your chin up.

Yep that is pretty much it to a tee. I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship for two years of my high school career. That boy hacked my myspace account and read all my old messages. All the HUNDREDS of messages from middle school. He ended up posting a comment to who he thought was my ex that said “Remember when we had sex?” Not only had I lost my virginity to this abusive boy, but the guy he messaged was my cousin. He also hacked my facebook to look through my messages on there so he could yell at me for anything he didn’t like. Abusive guys are scum.

The warning sign is if you wonder if you’re in an abuse relationship. Then you probably are. 

i always go back and forth if my relationship is emotionally abusive or not. i can relate to everyone of your signs and i’ve read up on it before. i’ve tried to leave but he always sucks me back in. things can be perfect & then its like a storm crashing down. everyway he acts seems to have a reason behind it but i always find myself appologizing for things im not really sorry for. he often questions why i wear things and why i’m trying to look good & he checks my phone. he gets anxiety when i go over to friends house.. so much to the point that i dont even hangout anywhere but our apartment,

theres so many warnning signs that make me believe i’m being emotionally abused but at the same time he does alot of really sweet things toooo. i wish someone would have shook me about a year and a half ago and told me i just needed to be single and not get involved.

Sounds exactly like my ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him twice and then unofficially dated him (meaning we didn’t call ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, but we still hung out occasionally and were exclusive) for another three months after that, all because I felt like I had no one else. He had encouraged me at the beginning of our relationship to get rid of all my male friends, change my number, etcetera. I couldn’t just cut off my friendship with my male friends, either, so I just got rid of everybody. He was all I had, and that’s exactly what he wanted. It was so fucking stupid. I’ll never change my life for someone else again, not ever. Anyone who tells you to give up the things that make you happy is bad news.

The most abusive relationship in my life is with my older brother and I’m kinda stuck with him. 

@cru3lkindness@xanga - I left an abusive marriage of 13 years. It was difficult, but life is so much better when you hang out with sane people. You can do it. It isn’t too late.

When they constantly try to get you to do things for them that they are completely capable of doing for themselves and even worse, at the cost of doing things for your self. Such as, staying up late with them when you’re exhausted, going places they want to go but you don’t feel comfortable going, eating foods you don’t want to eat, running for them when you don’t have the time, etc etc. And trying to guilt you or bribe you into doing them when you try to decline. 

Thank you for posting this!!!! I was in the exact same situation in high school and I was so depressed for 2 years and am still affected every day by what my ex boyfriend did to me in high school. It is so unfair and I wish someone had laid it out like this for me when it started. I hope other people can learn from this and get out of horrible relationships if they are in them.

It is not worth it to stay!

@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - LOL

I’ve had to deal with #3 a lot.

@not_your_concern@xanga - my current boyfriend did the same thing with my phone when we started dating. i ended up changing my number & deleting every single guy out of my phone because my male friends would text me and he would get jealous. i thought he was being cute at the time but thinking back to it just blows my mind. i was so naive and now i’m stuck in a terrible situation.

I’ve been in abusive relationships. My first boyfriend was very physical. At first he was really nice, caring, seemed to love my family. Then the crazy hit after the year mark. He would grab my arms, yell at me if I did anything wrong (which was everything) in his eyes.The first time he hit me, I was in so much shock that I kept letting it happen. I was in the relationship for 2 years after that. It’s not that I was scared of what he would do to me if I left, but what he would do to my family. 3 months after I broke up with him, he went into school (he went to my cousins school) calling my name, grabbed a girl who looked similar enough to me, and slit her throat in the hallway. He has been in prison since.

I’ve been there so many times that I know the difference of when to stop, and when it’s appropriate to be called abusive, but I’ve still been called abusive many times by the same person. I started to believe it until I realized that the person fed on the guilt trip they were putting me through. So I agree with this post %110, but there is also a time when somebody wants people to pitty them, so they make up lies, not realizing that it’s hurting the other person. Play fighting is different than abuse. There needs to be a line drawn, and people need to see the difference… being raised with 2 guy cousins, I do know where the line is drawn with hurting somebody, and playing.

@inlovewithabby89@xanga - How did I know you would have something written on here? You still feel that way? Like an unwanted dog, because as I recall, you are the one who called yourself a ‘dog’ before you went psyco crazy and told Kc to stop shining the light in your fucking face (when he was trying to help you see in the dark), or you would …how did you put it …shove your fist into his chest and make him cry. If you look at the bullets up there; everything points to you too (1-5). Who was abusing who then? If you wanna keep going there, fine, go there with your friends, but don’t you dare think that it’s okay to lie. Or at least get your stories straight from site to site.

reading about the poster’s story and all the comments make me feel less stupid that I was in one, too.

When you’re telling him about your day, you leave out completely normal, regular things because you know that he’ll overreact about it.

Example: “I met the new guy at work today.” ”Oh? What, you need a new guy now?”

You find yourself avoiding male friends, deleting them from your phone, or changing their names to female names because he gets jealous when you mention any other male.
It becomes harder and harder to make him understand actions that are completely normal and platonic.