I am a perfectionist when it comes to my looks. I often sit staring in the mirror as I nitpick ever little detail. When I am going to a major event, I get overly critical. I want to be beautiful. I want people to see the me that my closest friends see when they look at me. I want them to see my beautiful spirit. And often I grade my appearance by the standards the media tells me are the right standards. I find myself wanting to be a skinny slightly preppy petite white girl.
And really, besides the white part, I am going to have bits and pieces of society critiquing me for falling short in those other categories.
As a transgendered female, I am going to be told my identity is not real and that I will never really be female. If I don’t act super feminine, I will be told that I most definitely am not female and possibly be told that I am not really even transgendered. It seems like society makes everyone feel entitled to give their opinion on everyone else’s identity, on everyone else’s beauty.
I was reading a friend’s blog, and it has inspired me.
In the blog she declared:
“I am beautiful. I am beautiful because I am who I am. I am beautiful because I am unique. I am beautiful because I’m not the supermodel you tell me I need to be. I am beautiful because I refuse to be someone other than myself.”
This is said in the context of dismissing the ridiculous conception of beauty and self worth given to us by the media.
So I will stand up to this pressure. I will be myself. I will refuse to be anyone besides true to myself. I will look at myself and know that I am beautiful no matter what people tell me. I will look at myself and know that I am female, no matter what anyone else might think.
I am beautiful.
Do you ever feel pressure from society to be the perfect woman?