College: the four years that are supposed to be the best years of our lives. We spend them drinking way too much (coffee and alcohol), experimenting with anything and everything, meeting new people, making lasting connections, hook ups, procrastinating, pulling all nighters (because of the procrastinating), ditching classes, learning about ourselves (more so than any subject), and simply making memories that we can (or can’t) tell our kids one day.
We eventually graduate. Then what?
Senior year is always bittersweet. Or, at least that’s the way I see it. Graduation, the end of all exams, papers, and classes, is finally within our reach. But, so is the end of “the best four years of our lives.” We panic because we realize that this is it, then end of our college career, and we need to start looking for a job, in the REAL WORLD. No more answering to professors, who can be easily lied to, now we answer to bosses, who usually take no excuses. We dance through the months in anticipation of donning our cap and gown, the anticipation of our futures, the anticipation of making a salary, the anticipation of doing something “meaningful.” That is, once we get that job offer. Until that rolls in, we dance around with the fear that the shit hole that is our current economy will directly affect our pursuit of professional happiness.
Everyone knows this is the cycle. We await it; welcome it even. We go into senior year making promises of recklessness; to end this year with a bang. We are very aware of the emotions and life changes we will go through. But, what really happens after we have that job and we’re off living the lives of adults?
Enter the Quarter Life Crisis. Yes, it does exist and I’ve witnessed it first hand. A guy I’ve been seeing is four years older than me, making him 25. Since I met him five months ago, he’s been dealing with this depression and confusion about his life. He is so afraid of making any decisions and he can’t figure out what’s right or wrong or how to face his problems. I’m like hey, you have an awesome job, make great money, and you have all the possibilities in the world. What is the problem? Then I read this amazing article about being in your “twenty somethings” and it all made sense.
The problem is that once we are granted access to the realms of the “real world” post graduation, we are suddenly given all these endless possibilities and opportunities. It sounds great at face value, but think about it. The article says it best, “They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.”
Whoa. Heavy.
It’s so true though. I know so many of my older friends who had all these plans in college. Now, they’re left wondering what their real purpose is after all, because either their plan did go accordingly, or they realized that what they wanted to do all this time doesn’t really make them happy. So what is that solution?
Hell if I know. I’m stretching beyond my scope of experience as it is. As a rising senior, I’m bubbling with excitement about what’s to come. I hardly want to think about being depressed in four years.
It just goes to show that nothing (or almost nothing) we plan out for ourselves is what ends up happening. After reading this article, I could prepare myself as much as possible for the impending doom that will eventually enclose around me. But, I won’t. Life will always happen at whatever speed or direction it wants to. All we can do is adjust.
I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if that includes a couple years of deep, dark confusion in my mid twenties. I’ll embrace it. We don’t have much time here on the earth if you really think about it. The summer is already almost over, then college will be almost over, then before you know it you’re going through a mid-life crises with 3 kids, an annoying husband, and a mortgage.
In short, I am graduating college this year and no, I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I do have a semblance of a plan but who knows what will happen to that. As my dad always says, “Que sera, sera.” What will be, will be.
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Try growing up and getting a job. Ain’t that fucking hard.
lily / 5148 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - I’m not sure how “growing up” goes to this particular post. It seems to me like she is considering all sorts of possibilities and possibly thinking of the future. She sure sounds grown up to me in a lot of way compared to a lot of people I do know. It doesn’t sound hard but it is hard. Life is never just that easy as saying: get a job. I think post is more like wondering and pondering about the future because let us face it. Life is never so straight forward. I think that’s what she’s getting at.
lily / 5148 posts
@Hinase@xanga - *this post
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@Hinase@xanga - The OP sounds unfocused, which to me signifies immaturity.
daisy / 734 posts
I’m already freaking out about all of that and I’m only a sophomore. o_O’
Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited for the future and what it holds, but I don’t want to make a wrong choice with what career path I take and end up unhappy, or not making enough money to have a solid future, or not get a job period. I’ve worked a lot of really shitty jobs over high school and summers, and my dad commented to me today that working those jobs is a reminder of why I’m in school– so I won’t have to be stuck in them forever. I just want to make sure that’s the truth.
Also, how am I going to entertain myself when I’m out of college? Will I join community classes (like yoga classes, etc) and try new things? Or will I go out to clubs (probably not, but I’m not ruling it out)? Will I just meet people through work? So many unknowns.
lily / 5148 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - I’m not sure if being unfocused means immaturity at all. I really don’t think it does.
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Good post. I’m a senior in college too, and I am also freaking out about what it means to enter the “real world.”
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I understand this completely.. I’m very confused about where I want to commit the next.. who knows how many years of my life to school. Its a HUGE decision. Its all bases around work, and it sickens me that we practically have to Work to LIVE. I want my choice to make me happy, and feel well worth the years. I’m potentially having a “pre-mature quarter life crisis” at 19. :\
rose / 853 posts
I’m a senior this year too and every time someone discovers this, they always ask “What are your plans after college?” So I tell them my ideal plans: “Write for a newspaper or magazine, send tons of stories to literary magazines, marry a teacher, have babies, get famous…” But really, I’m so scared that no one will like my work and I’ll never even be able to find a menial job to pay the bills.
rose / 853 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - What, so you’ve never been turned down from a potential employer? I hate it when people say “It’s not that hard to get a job.” Because it is. Maybe where you live everyone is just handed the first job they apply for, but it’s not like that everywhere…
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oh my god!! I feel exactly the same! I’m a senior also…I don’t want to grow up!
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You just have to take everything in stride. I just graduated college in May and
yes, it is a huge adjustment. I had several plans for life after college but
they all fell through and left me wondering what the hell I had gotten myself
into. The important thing to remember is that now is the time to take advantage
of different opportunities and figure out what you really want to do. It’s ok
if you stuck in a job you don’t like, you can always look for something better.
Plus, since you don’t have to worry about studying and other school commitments
you have a lot more free time to spend on things you like doing.
ranunculus / 3457 posts
You’re supposed to think about this a bit earlier than your senior year. In this job market, if you leave it till senior year, you’re fucked.
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@Hinase@xanga - That’s your opinion.
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - I’ve never been turned down because I made myself valuable. Never said it was “easy to get a job.” I said getting a job is a pretty obvious step after getting out of college. Nobody in America gets handed a job you dimwit.
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - Agreed.
lily / 5148 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - Of course it is
And you have your own opinion about it and that’s fine.
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@PinkLeopards@xanga - Yeah, you never said it was “easy” to get a job. You just said it “ain’t that fucking hard”. Nobody was questioning whether or not the next step after graduation was getting a job because, as you pointed out, it’s a pretty obvious step. I’m glad that your self-perceived value has blinded you to the reality that unemployment is high and not everything lines up for everyone once they graduate. Sometimes job hunting takes months or even years, no matter how “grown up” the applicant is and regardless of how many internships she has under her belt. That being said, MiaJoyTheWriter is not a dimwit, she was just pointing out how irrational you’re being.
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@fungusamungus33@xanga - “I’m glad that your self-perceived value has blinded you to the reality that unemployment is high and not everything lines up for everyone once they graduate.”
You clearly didn’t pass the reading course in college if you decide to blatantly ignore the fact that I JUST SAID no one gets handed a job in America. Or did you just want to pipe up and start some shit? And of course it’s “self perceived.” Dumb shit… if it was only self perceived I would have been turned down. I haven’t been turned down for a job yet, so clearly other people find value in me. Perhaps you’re jealous, perhaps you’re butt hurt. Doesn’t make a damn difference to me shit for brains.
“ That being said, MiaJoyTheWriter is not a dimwit, she was just pointing out how irrational you’re being.”
Where is the irrationality in telling someone to stop acting like a child and get a job? Hm? Oh right nowhere. Hop off my dick bitch.
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@PinkLeopards@xanga - I’m extremely jealous of you and your dick. I bet it’s huge. And made of gold. Hence its value. Anyway, I don’t think it’s childish to face the reality that it’s possible that you won’t come out of college and immediately be able to get a job. This entire post is about how nobody is handed a job. Hence the stress-induced “quarter-life crisis”. Good thing we both passed that highly-damanding “college reading course”. Glad everything panned out for you, though!
peony / 3 posts
I’m a senior graduating in december and I can officially say that I’m having a quarter-life crisis at this moment in time. There are so many choices and opportunities available to me that I’m not even sure what I want from life. It’s overwhelming, but every once in awhile I allow myself to panic and then I tell myself that whatever happens is supposed to happen for a reason and it will all work out!
To anyone who’s still in college, enjoy the years, because at least for me, they flew by so unbelievably fast! I will always have the memories though and they’re wonderful!
rose / 960 posts
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - Truth.
…what do you mean “After reading this article, I could prepare myself as much as possible for the impending doom that will eventually enclose around me. But, I won’t. Life will always happen at whatever speed or direction it wants to. All we can do is adjust.”
you’re not going to try to keep depression from happening by preparing for the future and NOT acting like the rest of our narcissistic, “self-indulgent” (Quarterlife article) generation? seriously? what do you think will happen if you continue coasting on this road, dude?
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@fungusamungus33@xanga -
I like the gold dick comment, lol.
It must explain why this young man has arrogance in spades, but seems to be lacking in the logic department. (Hence all the inconsistencies in his posts. “I never said getting a job was easy” only he says first “It ain’t that hard” My favorite: Accusing people of immaturity and then follows THAT up with “Hop off my dick bitch” (A trip down memory lane back to say.. junior high!)
Hmmmmmm… well I got my giggles for the day!
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga -
Agreed, it’s a lot harder to get a job than people think.
It ISN’T a matter of just turning in the application/resume and getting a call the very next day, and monday morning you show up bright and early! (If only lol)
It’s matter of turning in application after application and hoping and hoping.
And sometimes it doesn’t matter how freaking qualified you are, you might not get the job.
rose / 960 posts
@Cosmar@xanga - Lol, PinkLeopards is female (at least mostly, since girl, I don’t know her and all ;))…yeah…anyway…
The poster’s showing immaturity by admitting she didn’t make full use of her time in college. It was just “fun” for her and her friends, which sounds to me like a serious waste of her time and money and if she ends up not being able to pay back her debts for years because of a lack of job (because although those with degrees, good grades and plans don’t always get jobs, people who coast through college actually own some of the blame), well, cause-and-effect.
The fact that she refuses to change her actions right now in order to ward off possible quarterlife depression because “Life will always happen at whatever speed or direction it wants to. All we can do is adjust.“? Immature and misguided. Nah, dude, you can own your future.
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Get a job, save money, rent an apartment and do whatever you want to fill your time that you aren’t working. @PinkLeopards@xanga is really the correct one here.
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@Adrenaline_Unknown@xanga - Why thank you.
Bitches are just obsessed with me on Lovelyish. haha
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Yeah graduating college can be a pain because I just graduated in May with an associates and the job marketed is so bad right now I feel like I should of failed on purpose geez. I am ready too find a job and my butt off too save for my next degree which is going to be a Bachelor’s degree in Biology
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@Cosmar@xanga - Just because you’re incapable of 1) figuring out someone’s gender and 2) reading isn’t my problem. I don’t have logical fallacies. Calling someone else immature doesn’t imply that I’m mature. Failed logic on your part honeyyyyyy
I know you’ve both got your hands down each others’ panties but get over me bitch, I already won over @fungusamungus33@xanga - -
HAHA.
magnolia / 1066 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - Forgive her and the rest of us rising seniors for being nervous about the impending phase of our lives. It’s kind of new to us, and though by your logic it ‘ain’t that fucking hard’, it sure seems pretty overwhelming. My brain is scattered to the four corners of the earth with trying to get an internship, get into graduate school, get my graduation shit settled, and figure out what I’m going to do for a job, and I don’t think that makes me immature. It’s normal not to know what’s going on at this point in your life. There’s a lot to handle. The economy sucks. You can’t judge someone for not knowing what to do with their life when they’re on the brink of such a big change.
And what exactly is your problem that you have to result to name calling to make your point? Because it’s pretty difficult to take a lesson in maturity from someone that resorts to the most immature form of debate.
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@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - “Forgive her and the rest of us rising seniors for being nervous about the impending phase of our lives. It’s kind of new to us, and though by your logic it ‘ain’t that fucking hard’, it sure seems pretty overwhelming. ”
Who said anything about your nervousness? Scratch that, who said shit about YOU? Who the fuck are you and why have you delusioned yourself into thinking you’re relevant to me? If you’re not going to actually read what I say, and STILL try to comment on it making YOURSELF look foolish then don’t expect me to read the rest of your comment.
DEUCES.
magnolia / 1066 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - She is a rising senior. I am also a rising senior. Therefore I have an opinion on the situation. And obviously I read what you said or I wouldn’t have commented back. Nice question dodging there though.
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@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - “She is a rising senior. I am also a rising senior. Therefore I have an opinion … ” <- And right here is where I lose interest. I honestly don’t give two shits what your opinion is. *kanye shrug*
daisy / 603 posts
I just graduated in May. In March I didn’t have any idea what I was going to do… in April I started looking at apartments to move into with my boyfriend. Yes, I had help since I was living with him, but I’d still have to come up with my half of the rent and other expenses.
My solution: Americorps [ i'm in Keys Service Corps AmeriCorps ] a government funded program focusing on community service. The Keys branch I’m in stands for knowledge to empower youth success and as a member you are helping to tutor or mentor youth in high risk areas. I receive a living stipend and they give an education award as well, which will total $15,000 after I finish two years in the program.
They have different types of AmeriCorps programs, not all are working with kids if that’s not your thing. & they have them alll overr the U.S. The people are great, it makes you feel good to “give back” and make a difference to someone and on top of that your loans are paid back and you get a paycheck until you figure out your next step.
Good luck !
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@PinkLeopards@xanga -
Shemale, I guess?
Since you’re a chick with a dick.
You’re amusing, though, keep it up!
Free entertainment for the rest of us
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@Cosmar@xanga - That’s right.
Though I think shemales are pretty much into wearing strap ons and I don’t have one. I should probably get one.
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I am also a senior and I’ve faced that there are things I can control, things I can’t. I am lucky enough to have a passion for something fairly straightforward, accounting. Yes, a passion for doing taxes haha. My biggest fear is that no one will hire me because I won’t have as much experience as some other students, and also I’m not the greatest in interviews. Interviews start in September. I feel like I do have some control, though.
My romantic goals, I feel like I have no control over that so…I’m trying to just not worry that I haven’t had a real relationship since I was 15…
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Life is how you make it.
Having been post graduation for a few years now (I graduated in the 07 spring), it’s essentially similar to what college was like. Grades/finals turned into meetings with the boss about your job performance, proms/dances turned into weddings (and depending on your friends, many or just a few that you attend for various reasons), and there’s almost always some type of drama somewhere (and if you can manage to avoid it, good for you). Every opportunity has potential, regardless if it’s negative or positive.
And as far as turning 25 and having a “quarter life crisis,” it depends on the person. I had a minor one. And it more or less “Oh crap! I’m 25″ and then I got over it fairly fast.
It’s more or less with what you do with your career and what you make out of your opportunities. You can only control so much before fate/God, etc steps in and helps. Do what you can and be happy with your choices.
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I had it all planned out. Everything was lined up to go smoothly into graduate school. A week before finals in my last semester, I had everything kicked out from under me and took a job 1,000 miles away from where I was headed. It is nice but sometimes, you just need to take a leap.
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Just a note: you don’t have to go to college to be scum of the Earth.
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Anyone with a college degree (or probably without) can guess who that is…
lily / 5148 posts
@xsPoNgEs_go_SQUISHx13@xanga - I’m not sure she’s admitting to any of that, at least from what I read (many times and I could be mistaken. I don’t know. I haven’t slept yet). I’m not sure if that is immaturity or not. I’m not quick to jump to conclusions like that. Sometimes life does end up owning you even if you think you have everything figured out in your future. It’s funny that way sometimes. Most of the time, it will still go on. I feel like people are limited in a lot of ways, and so are their futures even if they do own it.
Sometimes you have no control over your life, you’re only there to make decisions that affect the outcome and you carry those consequences with you. I know it has happened in my life, and in so many others.
Again, I certainly didn’t feel like her thought process was immature in any kind of way, just different that’s all.
orchid / 204 posts
I don’t know why everyone is hating on this post… it’s true! I just graduated a little over a year ago and am pushing 24…. then 25… then 30! I feel like life is so crazy and I have these dreams for my life, but I’m not sure how they are all going to fit together. It is really overwhelming but I am just trying to do the best I can and take it day by day. A lot of my friends are feeling the same way. Especially with this economy a lot of people can’t get jobs! I graduated from a top 50 university and a lot of my friends are working restaurants & retail until they can get a decent job… it’s brutal out there which doesn’t help matters.
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I’ll be a junior in college come spring 2012 and all I have to say is, a lot of you that don’t know what you’re going to do have been waisting your time. You should have been looking for jobs before your senior year and sending out your applications to those companies. So what if you don’t have your degree then? They can at least consider you for an intership and use that as a way to figure out if you will make it at their company. The moral of the story is: Don’t wait until the last minute to do things, do it ahead of time. I also read a lot of comments saying, no one is guarenteed a job. So? Don’t have that kind of mindset, your setting yourself up for failure, aim to not be a statistic that has a BA, but isn’t using it.
orchid / 157 posts
@PinkLeopards@xanga - EVERYONE JUST FYI, just because you graduate college does not guarantee you a job AT ALL. I graduated college with honors cum laude, and yet all the jobs ive applied for me in my field haven’t even offered me so much as an interview. You get the same responses… no experience. so the response “get a job” is not always applicable and not easy as it sounds especially with the way the economy is.
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This one step out of college is another beginning on a longer journey. Embrace it. Try not to be afraid. The best is yet to come!
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@skexyshay@xanga - “EVERYONE JUST FYI, just because you graduate college does not guarantee you a job AT ALL.”
And who said it did? You should have picked a better major.
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I like how absolutely none of the first half of the post applies to me. All I can say is, sucks to be you. Good luck with all that. I have my life pretty planned out.
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@skexyshay@xanga - You gain experience in your field by getting internships.
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i’m still in college (and behind my high school graduated class) but my new endeavor in life is to take a bunch of life changing summer/ semester or temporary jobs & internships =]. i’ll try to finish my masters while continuing this fun / all this experience & then figure out what to do even after my bachelors. i have a backup career and will load up another one someday just in case but will have fun by doing the cert somewhere away from home (like all my jobs & internships).
…it’s more like starting on the bucket list early. i think it’s important to have a career w/ a passion alongside it (or combined) to stay sane :].
remember, being thrifty and practical is good. <3
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I didn’t really know what I wanted to do when I graduated college, but I still was really glad to get the fuck out of there. I LOVE being an adult now, not studying, just making money and chilling out. I’m actually less stressed now than I was in school.
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It makes me sad that people have this laissez-faire attitude about their futures at ages 22, 23, 24, etc. I mean, it’s great to take some time and really consider your future and make sure you are making the right decisions but I just don’t understand how somebody can enter their senior year of college and not have any sort of a plan. Going into my senior year, I had one plan that I was really excited about and then another 3 or 4 back up plans just in case that one didn’t work out.
My best friend graduated a year ago and still has no real plans for her future. Initially, she put her bachelors to use by being a cashier at a specialty foods market (most of her coworkers also had their bachelors). Right now she is just working a salaried job that she hates in something totally unrelated to her field until she “figures something out” as she says. I think we’re taught now that our careers should fulfill us and we should follow our dreams, but sometimes you just have to be practical – something our generation apparently sucks at.
sunflower / 405 posts
I’m sorta experiencing half of that just from graduating high school. I freakin start school in the 16th. the f*ck happened to my summer?!??!?!
orchid / 159 posts
I’m graduating college. It didn’t take me 4 years, so I’m 21. I didn’t spend my three years drinking my ass off, hooking up, or a good number of the other things mentioned about the “bittersweet” experience. I’m nervous because I’m not sure whether to join the workforce now or go onto graduate school.
You do what you can and you follow your bliss, and that’s the way to do it.