Lovelyish

Lol…does Lovelyish know how to count? Title says 5, post says 6.

You have 6 reasons here, I like bonuses!
I don’t think I’m guilty of any of these. Or, at least not a repeat offender. I mean at some point I’ve probably spilled a secret or made as excuse to not hang out, but I’ve usually owned up to my BS.

@ForeverLove_xx@xanga - I’d say not knowing how to count to five is also a sign she’s a bad friend.

Another sign of a bad friend: Trying to correct everything your friend does, says, and wears. 

@LemonMichelle@xanga - OMFG THAT ANNOYS ME TOO!! I mean if someone genuinely does make an error, you can correct it without being embarrassing or snooty, you know?

#4 is a big thing too. I hate when someone who did/had the same thing brags to make it better or about them. Like when I was 14, my dad surprised me & mom by buying us tickets to Disney World for Easter break & I was SOOO excited because I always wanted to go but we never had money. So when I told my friends at school, the rich, spoiled one bragged about the SIX times she went & all the things she did. Like she had to one up me to highlight the place.

Regardless of number of signs to look for, I would have to say DISHONESTY is a good sign that someone is not your real friend.  She is one way to your face and a whole other person when you’re not around.  I trust that my real friends to be honest with me, even if the truth will hurt because the real friend will be there to help you pick up the pieces.  I have to agree with your points, definitely true that a person who embodies any combination of the above traits is probably not your friend.

@LemonMichelle@xanga - Good one!  You accept your real friend just as she/he is.

I am guilty of #4 sometimes. :S 

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - ya know, i would have flipped if i were in your place, i was always begging to go to disney and we were only finally able to go once in my childhood. i have cousins who have been to disney so many times i don’t even think they appreciate it.

when they steal your cupcakes. 
jokes aside, when they call or “hang out” with you only when they need something

i am usually a bad friend to people who are constantly a bad friend to me
and i know fighting fire with fire doesn’t solve anything but I just like to do that to make sure they know exactly how it feels

Another thing I hate, which goes along number 2 and 3 kind of is when you go to a friend for help, and they pretend to care to your face but then they’ll be talking crap about it later with someone else.  you trusted them with something you’re having a hard time with, and if they don’t understand it and just make fun of it, then they’re definitely not a friend at all.

also, don’t try to talk them instead giving them the silent treatment when they piss you off. 

yeah im guilty of that.twice

two-faced sociopaths.

@Beb3Lika@xanga - Cupcake thieves would have to be the worst.

I have a friend who bails on me consistently.  She’s always the one who tries to make plans in the first place.  Next time that happens I think I’m just gonna tell her no thanks, because I’m not a fan of getting ditched.
Another friend of mine, I’ve put before my fiance (in my defense, he’d told me he didn’t care if we went out together, then he bitched because I “bailed” on him!).  So that’s messy.  But for the most part I try to level things out.

OH AND HOW ABOUT THIS.  The fake friend who tells you that you’re too negative and she doesn’t want to hear you complain.  Do this especially when your bud’s at a rough time in her life, and could really use a shoulder from the friend who professed to be so close and care so much.

I’m not bitter or anything.

…Bitch.

I’ve been guilty of number six…  Ugh, never again.

Agrees on the plans you try to make and then in the end they “forget” or something, and make the same plans with someone else. Or contacts you right out of the blue just because there’s something they need from you.

@Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga - When you’re able to go all the time, you dont. I’m 25 years old & I still get excited to go because I dont go often. Disney is something that’s always there with familiar things but always adds something new. People tease the hell out of me but it’s good to be young at heart. Its you from getting hard in the world. Some people forget what it’s like to be a kid & become mean adults.

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - pshhh lol i’m 24! f* growing up! lol. in fact my college roommate just got married and she’s going on her honeymoon to disney! there really is something magic about that place ya know.

@Beb3Lika@xanga - lol. cupcakes. it’s true! ; )

to this article, great pieces. i especially think #3 is a super big one.

I will ALWAYS pick my husband over anyone except the Lord Jesus Christ. I agree balance is good but I have known friends to drop other friends because they were single and didn’t understand why their married friends couldn’t hang out with them all the time. They felt it was okay for them to talk badly about their husbands. That caused my married friend to stop hanging out with her single friend at all. There is no reason for single people to be upset because their husband comes first.

I’m glad that I’m not a bad friend

i’m guilty of number 1…but i make up for it for always being there when they REALLY need me.

I’ve done some of those but i’m trying hard to change my ways. My biggest guilt is one I’ll get nervous and bail on EVERYONE. >.<

I’m a good friend yeaaaaaaaah

I sometimes do 3 because I talk a lot but that happens more with boys than friends. And speaking of boys, also guilty of 6 once in awhile. >.<

I’m guilty of number one.

You’re a bad friend if you don’t genuinely like and respect the person. If they don’t add value to your life, then you’re not really friends.

I’ve only been guilty of one and four.

Usually if I cancel at the last minute it isn’t my fault, it’s my mother’s. And as for number four, I usually get really excited and happy for my friends, but I have one friend who brags a lot so it’s hard to act happy for her when she’s acting happy enough for the both of us.

One of my best friends thinks I’ve been guilty of six, but really she’s just number five in the flesh. I didn’t see my ex boyfriend all that much, she just hated it when I took the opportunity to see him instead of her. It’s not like I never hung out with her anymore.

When they immediately cling to the other side of the story that not only comes from your ex boyfriend, but is also backed up by all of his friends, without hearing your side or even giving the opportunity for you to tell it before passing their judgement on you. When they talk shit about you and isolate you from a group of friends you were in together and then when that said group follows your friend’s shit talking like fucking sheep and join in on excluding you and making up excuses as to why they can’t hang out with you. When they post pictures, location updates, and statuses of hangouts the day after you were just told they were too busy to go anywhere and also of course never got an invite. When they choose some guy’s friendship over yours, when he’s not even their boyfriend and they haven’t even known him for more than 8 months and they’ve been your best friend for 8 years. When they totally fuck you over by moving in with said guy, not their boyfriend, when you had pretty set plans to move in together. When they come to you only when they have problems that only you can help with but never bother to ask how your life is going. When they turn into the biggest fucking hypocrite and liar you’ve probably ever met. 

I think all of those things make the shittiest friend I’ve ever had the misfortune of being in my life. Which is why none of them are anymore.

I would say I’m guilty of 6, but thats because a few of my closer friends, for the past few years, have been guilty of nearly all these things. I’ll never forget last summer, when my friend and I both submitted art portfiolios to the college board, and I received the equivalent of a C and she received a higher score, and though I was jealous I found it important to let her know that I was still very happy for her. This year I got the highest score achievable and it was pretty clear to me her congratulations were thin :/

The whole Bros before Hoes thing is basically for younger people.. Id NEVER choose my boyfriend over any friend… Ever… Not to mention Ive been with himfor a loong time anyways..

i hate the first one and the last one the most. i have a friend with both of those exact qualities. and they go together; she cancels plans at the last minute to SPEND TIME WITH HER BOY TOY. i remember when i had a boyfriend i was crazy about, sure sure. but i didn’t spend every available second with him, and especially didn’t ditch my friends whenever he wanted to hangout. bogus bogus bogus.

When you constantly bail on the person who was always there for you in tough times and spent days talking to you about your problems to go hang out with a bunch of losers just for the sake of having a certain quantity of friends.

…Asshole ¬_¬

I am sometimes guilty of #6 but in my defense I have 1 been with him for over 2 1/2 years and hes my finacee and 2 most of my friends do it too, when they are single they wanna hang more but when they have a bf then they hardly do, you ain’t gotta quit being friends because someone has a relationship, call, text, see each other someday’s during the day, etc. friendships are just like relationship, if you wanna keep them you have to communicate, trust, and balance they can defiantly be work. I have two friends I have had for almost 10 years, they were very much work but we have had great relationships.

-Autumn

I do #6 all the time, but then again, so do all of my friends! So, it’s cool between us.

Your friends will never make you choose between a boy and them and vise versa unless that person is trying to protect you from someone toxic. I would never choose to stay with my friend before my hubby (unless it was an extreme circumstance.) and even then, I will always be committed to my husband. Always.

I gossip, but not secretly. My friends know what they can tell me and know what they cant. There is some bull I dont want to hear and then there is real stuff. Anything that I say to someone else about them, my friend will know first. I dont like secrets, what I dont want people to tell…I dont tell anyone. Its like this “In order for 3 people to keep a secret – 2 must be dead”

I will always pick my significant other over my friends because my “friends” always flake out.  In fact, we have the same group of “friends” and they actually said to each other, “if they split up, who will we kick out of the group?” awesome.  So we pick each other over our “friends” and we can trust each other to be loyal and there for each other above anyone else.

My friend is very clingy.
She ended our friendship just because she says i miss her, but
I never sent her an email, call her or anything all because of my new boyfriend.
Yes, maybe its a little bit of my fault, but every time when I talk to her, I feel
like she doesn’t even want to hear what i have to say. She always talks to me when she needs me, then when i need her, she’s never there for me& plus she has a job now and she wouldn’t give me her cell phone to call her.

She tells me how I never invite her to a hangout until one  of our friends do, BUT that was only once and plus, I wasn’t really the one who was in charge. How can I invite someone else to a friend’s house when I didn’t really plan it? Isn’t that kind of rude?

She’s always been doing this, ONLY to me, constantly telling me, “i dont want to be your friend anymore.” And then talks to me like as if we are still friends. She’s trying to manipulate me into feeling guilty&&have her back. Right now, she is sarcastically making rude comments about me. And I am so sick and tired of it.

i def. agree with number five.

I had a friend who I would make plans a week or two in advance, and then she’d ditch out at the last second and hang out with someone else. Then when she finally decided to hang out with me it was, “hey, I need someone to hangout with till my boyfriend gets off work. You busy?” Um, seriously?
She’s that kind of friend to be like, “I wanna do something. So and so has a car! Let’s see if they wanna hang out!” uhg. Total user.

I am a very bad friend. I don’t know why ppl even bother. I don’t answer the phone half the time. I never feel like going out. I could care less about their lives. I tell ppl I’m antisocial but they still want to be my friend. I like ppl, but I don’t feel like being a friend. I’m guilty of all those things up there. The difference is I live on the other extreme. For instance, instead of cancelling plans, I just say no right off the bat. and I do let them have other relationships. I push them to other ppl instead of coming to me.

i do #1 more than i should, but that’s because i get migraines everyone knows it and they understand.

what i hate is when friends make plans with you, but they “forget” about them (even though it was made day before or day of!) or they “ran into someone” and just didn’t decide to tell you that they plans weren’t gonna happen.. my “friends” do that a lot.

A friend who does not reply to your emails or calls to hang out. They are blatantly ignoring you. While they hang out with other people. You know you two are close friends, however your friend is distancing herself from you.

It hurts but at least you know you have other friends. Other friends who love you.

@Wendy - me too. thats y i lost my bff 2day. =(