There are plenty of difficult things to do in life. (Including typing with your left elbow raised up high because your dog decided to curl up under your arm to sleep). I find that a few things for me are extremely difficult.
1. Letting go. Especially of love, but of lots of things. Arguments, people, unnecessary emotion, inanimate objects and possessions. I’ve recently realized that I get in my own way of things like this, because I frequently put myself back in a position to hold on to things and people that I should have long since let go of. Take my ex for instance. We dated officially for five months and we were unofficially seeing each other for another seven. Being that I clung to him for so long (even after it became obvious to me that he was never going to love me the way it had seemed he used to) I should have let go. But I caused myself tons of extra unnecessary pain instead.
2. Not sticking up for myself when I feel like I haven’t done anything wrong. There are times when I am accused of something, get yelled at for something, and there was nothing to warrant the behavior aimed at me. If I feel that I haven’t done anything to deserve the way I have been treated, I will stick up for myself and I will speak my mind. It takes a lot of courage to do so, but I don’t lack in that.
3. Calling people ‘friends’. I have a hard time letting people in past a certain point. I also will refuse to call you friend if I frequently have no trouble helping you, but you won’t help me; similarly I refuse to call you friend if you’re not comfortable enough to tell me no. If you can’t, then why call me a friend? That’s something a friend respects and understands, so if you can’t see me that way, then we’re clearly not ‘friends’. I frequently tell people no and vice-versa, and my friends and I think no less of each other.
4. Being anything less than brutally honest. I have trouble sugar coating my words. I feel like I’m being dishonest when I do things like that, and it sits the wrong way with me. (An example: sometimes when people talk, I have trouble not telling them how stupid they sound).
What do you find difficult about life Lovelies?
orchid / 147 posts
Definitely feel like letting go is among the hardest things to do in life.
lily / 5148 posts
Life itself.
orchid / 115 posts
Toughest things for me: overcoming procrastination and saying no to yummy food.
guest
life in general. it all feels so repetitive and useless.
guest
Currently, for me is my inability to let go of Harry Potter. Sigh
guest
letting go is one of the hardest things to do.
guest
For me: fear of failure, germaphobia, and, like the OP mentioned, letting go.
guest
number one is definitely me
magnolia / 1054 posts
#1 and 2, YES!
guest
Same here for #4 : I’m so straightforward that my friends think I’m too blunt. But…sugar coating doesn’t really seem to help either, in my opinion
and before I think of how to do that, time runs off. So yeah, best to shoot the gun quick, I guess.
guest
Lack of self control and saying things you can never take back.
guest
haha life in general like everyone said
daisy / 501 posts
With regards to number 4: I have always taken issue with people who say that others need to toughen up when offended by something they said because they were “just being honest”. You can be honest without being a dick. You have to understand when the appropriate time to say something is, because being brutally honest is not always a good thing. There is no need to always give an opinion, and some people seem to struggle with that. Refraining does not always make you dishonest or a coward. It means you have humility.
guest
Letting go, and sticking up for myself because then people aka my man think I have a guilty conscience (Why get so defensive if it isnt true) Because I dont want lies told about me. & Just life in general. And being a mother.
guest
@chicbananas@xanga - This. Tact is a really good social skill and it’s worth taking the time to learn. I mean, we all have our vices. You just have to know what you need to strengthen.
One of the hardest things for me is enjoying the moment. I constantly think about the future, what I’m doing in two years with school, how I’ll separate my funds when I get a paycheck, et cetera… last night my mind wouldn’t stop racing and I had to repeatedly tell myself that I was laying in bed, deserved to relax, and I didn’t have to go anywhere for a few hours. Just sleep.
Eventually, it worked. But it’s so HAAAAAAAAAARD.
orchid / 205 posts
I don’t sugarcoat, I downplay things. like if someone got injured while doing something to be considered a routine task, I don’t say “OW/(insert expletive) that looked like it really hurt” . Instead I say “That was a mild inconvenience.”
guest
All of those. I’m actually dealing with #3.
guest
I don’t have difficulty with any of those, but then I am an oddball.
lily / 5148 posts
@ShirleyD@xanga - Hey! >;( that’s my answer…. I’m kidding though
orchid / 174 posts
@chicbananas@xanga - I don’t always offer an opinion I just find that sometimes, when asked things, my answer isn’t what someone wanted to hear. I won’t tell someone something just because it’s what they want to hear. And I try not to let my friends embarrass themselves by saying ignorant things.
I completely agree with you, though. Tact is a huge thing that some people need to learn, and I think there are times I could certainly benefit from it. However I do make an effort to word my responses to people in a way that they won’t be offended. I don’t think people should change their personality to not be offended by what I said, either, I think that’s completely selfish and (like you said, essentially) tactless.
guest
Getting needled in the back for the sake of “body art”.
No, just kidding. I find I have the most trouble with letting go too. I can’t stand change.
guest
#2 is a big problem of mine. In my marriage everything was always my fault. I had to apologize for everything! So I kinda fell into that habit in my current relationship and its really becoming a problem. If I don’t start standing up for myself, its going to turn out just like my marriage did.
#1 used to be a big problem, mostly just when it came to my possessions though. I have recently started getting rid of a lot of stuff though. Forgetting about people who have hurt me in the past, however, is another story. I hope I grow out of that one day.
sunflower / 437 posts
None of these things are really difficult.
Illness and death of your loved ones is difficult. Being socially awkward? Not so much.
guest
i’d say letting go is the hardest… i let my past get to me way too much.
i don’t have much trouble with #4 though…i’m super blunt. i feel fake when i’m being anything less than brutally honest. i guess i don’t have much compassion for people who needlessly create their own drama. but other peoples’ problems always seem much easier to solve than our own…
guest
I’m with you on everything except #2. I found my voice when it comes to that. I will confront whoever the issue is with, maturely and calmly. I won’t just say “I’m not wrong” I’ll listen to their feelings first.
I could go into an endless rant about the hardest things in life for me, I’m kind of going through a rough patch to say the least. But I’ll stick to just saying establishing and maintaining friendships. Apparently I don’t know how to do that.
hydrangea / 73 posts
letting go and acceptance is so difficult. it is something i still can’t do. i would say that is the most difficult thing in life for sure.