Instead of lamenting the lack of good TV during the summer, I recently decided to re-watch the first three seasons of my favorite show, ”Castle.” Now, I’m no crime drama aficionado, but I’ve been a rabid “Castle” fan since the spring of 2009, and have since began watching “Bones” as well. These shows have taught me that there are some overarching themes in our justice system, because everything we see on TV must be true!
1. Every case gets solved. Con artists? Serial killers? Massive cross-country escapes? No problem! Get a couple of brains together and the needed evidence is bound to show up.
2. Every law enforcement official has mommy or daddy issues. Beckett’s mother was murdered and is the reason she became a cop. Castle doesn’t know who his father is. Booth’s father was abusive, and he grew up with his grandfather. Brennan’s parents went missing when she was a teenager; her mother ended up murdered, and her father resurfaced and is a convicted felon. Sweet.
3. There are no ugly cops. Or FBI agents, for that matter. I mean, look at them! As my dad said, “yes, because EVERY cop looks like [Beckett]. And especially in New York City!” You’re absolutely right, dad. No fat, balding detectives here!
4. Everyone in your life is a potential killer. And definitely keep an eye on the least suspicious people. Is it the angry neighbor with violent priors? Nah, obviously it’s the quiet and overworked intern. (That’s right, @Jessica and @Denise. Look out!)
5. All the interesting murders go to the same team. A woman stuffed into a safe, a dead guy found rolled up in a rug, a ritualistic killing, a terrorist plot… I feel almost bad for the less awesome teams that get stuck with all the Jack-shot-Jill-over-Bill murders.
6. Anyone can be brilliant enough to solve a murder. Did Castle go through the police academy? Nah, but he’s a mystery writer! How did Angela get to be so smart as to invent her own crime-solving technology? She went to college for art and had a computer science minor. Ya know, the usual. The entire team on “Bones” is younger than 40, but they all have like ten Ph.Ds. Totally feasible!
7. Best-selling authors are clearly crime-solving masterminds. Brennan and Castle both write murder books while simultaneously putting murderers behind bars in real life. Obviously, writing about crime is equivalent to all the training you’ll ever need!
8. All partners fall in love with each other. And then wait six years before admitting their feelings for one another, more or less. We’ve got Beckett and Castle, Booth and Brennan, Angela and Hodgins, Esposito and Lanie… and countless more from shows I don’t even watch. Maybe I should become a cop to get myself a boyfriend.
What have YOU learned from crime dramas, Lovelies?