Lovelyish

I fall in love with guys that have great personalities. Looks are always a added bonus to me. To me, the personality makes them even more beautiful. 

All the hotness in the world doesn’t make up for someone having the personality of a wet blanket.

I could never remain with someone physically attractive but with a bad personality.  That would piss me off.

Many people are going to say that looks draw them in but personality makes them stay kind of stuff. To me, I think it’s a shame that people will not even consider someone who could be a great romantic partner simply because of how they look. It’s just sad to me. I always find myself getting crushes on people only AFTER finding out their personality and interests. I never looked at someone and wanted to approach, but I have numerous times gotten to know someone and fall for them then. But that’s me. 

I believe physical attraction and personality go hand-in-hand.  It doesn’t do any good to be dating someone incredibly attractive if he’s got a shitty or boring personality or if he’s a complete dick, and there’s no point in going out with someone with a great personality either if you’re not attracted to him in any way.  He doesn’t have to be “the” attractive guy or anything, but you at least need to be attracted to him and there has to be some kind of chemistry, otherwise he’s just an ordinary guy with a good personality.

On one hand: You can’t take a personality to bed. Meaning, he can be the nicest & most romantic person in the world, but if you’re not attracted to him, the physical stuff is going to be pretty hard.

On the other: As the cliche goes, beauty is only skin deep. A person could appear beautiful but have no personality or a shitty one and for me that is very disappointing.

While I am shallow and will only date men with certain physical qualities, for instance they must be at least six foot and their stomach must be flat, I also am selective when it comes to personality traits, for instance we must be able to communicate, enjoy being around each other and generally have good “chemistry.”

I’d say they’re equally important and one could catch my attention quicker than the other, but they have to have both to hold my interest.

@lttlegel - So a bit of both but also a balance of the two. Looks and personality. 

They pretty much go hand in hand in all reality. An ugly person with a beautiful personality, usualy looks beautiful to those who know them. As where a beautiful person with an ugly personality, usually appears ugly to those who know them. No matter what your looks are, your personality will always override it!

i think the most important aspect of a person is the shape of their ankles. they can be the bestest ever but if their ankles aren’t just so that’s a dealbreaker.

You have to be sexually attracted to a person.  Without that, there’s nothing. lol  Which means a huge factor is their personality and a bit of it should be their looks.  The balance in that probably determines how shallow a person is.  

to each is his/her own.  (most) men are visual/sensual creatures and (most) women are emotional creatures. 

where are the guys???

If I get to know someone, I can date anyone…no matter what they look like. 

I think all relationships have to have some sort of physical attraction to work. But I can find physical attraction in men that have great personalities even if I don’t initially find them attractive.  I have fallen in love twice with people who, when I first met them, I did not think were attractive at all and others don’t feel they’re very attractive.  I had no interest in them but we became friends. After I got to know them I became physically attracted to them. I think people doubt that I actually became physically attracted to them and was not forcing it, but it’s true. 

So for me, personality is EVERYTHING. 

if they’re decent-looking but I love their intellect and personality, I’ll think they’re the hottest person in the world, hands down. I couldn’t ever date a jerk to start with, and if I dated someone who isn’t very smart then it wouldn’t last.

I love an amazing looking man… but am too suspicious of them to pursue anything. At the end of the day, personality is what will carry you through in the long run. Trust me, parts of him will sag and lose their visual appeal when you add about 50 years. Unless you’re Richard Gere, Harrison Ford or George Clooney. Not many men (unfortunately) fit this.

I don’t like to rely on my looks because not everyone will think I’m attractive. Heck, I don’t find myself attractive most days. I do know, however, that I have a heck of a personality. In the end, isn’t that what a guy wants (even if he won’t admit to that)? I would be wrong and amiss if I let myself be misled by a man’s physique only to find that we have personalities that have us butting heads like bucks during rut.

I have only dated one super attractive guy, IMO, in my life. I don’t really seek out the hottest guy in the room, just those that can make me laugh and can hold a conversation with me.

You know what’s sad?  Girls who are considered hot or sexy by society’s standards, who have the shittiest personalities, yet who coast through life because everything is handed to them.  But why?  Because of their looks, of course.

Pisses me the fuck off.

I think both are important, but having common interests and enjoying their company can make them seem wayyyyy more attractive and would obviously make the relationship more meaningful than just going by looks. If a guy is funny and a gentleman, it’s pretty much a turn on and even if they aren’t that great looking sex would still be awesome because of who it’s with. So looks are definitely not everything, and are an added bonus.

he gets my attention with his looks or if he doesn’t look that cute yet still decent looking, then maybe he’s stylish and gets my attention that way. then I find out if we have chemistry. I’ve known guys who have a great personality but I still friendzoned them because there was no chemistry and I just wasn’t feeling it-it felt like a sibling type of relationship to me lol and there wasn’t a physical attraction. I’ve also known attractive guys, who I wasn’t sexually attracted to. everything factors into whether or not he is boyfriend material or friendzoned. I don’t think I’ll be with a guy that I find hideous so looks do matter to an extent. I mean even personality can be volatile and change over time or they were pretending to be nice or whatever other positive characteristic but their true colors might come out later…which is why I thought that the decent looking average guy with the “great personality” was actually fake and what’s worse than a hot person with an ugly personality is an ugly person, who matches that with an ugly personality, just sayin lol I’ve met a few duds and have recently met a guy who has the body of a chiseled roman gladiator, model looks and a fun loving personality. since I don’t settle, then there is no added bonus. I only take someone, who meets everything that I want or the whole package

If I see you across the room, your looks will obviously attract me first, but through experience, the personality keeps me around. We need to have some things in common, we need to complement each other… I mean, it’s great if you’re the hottest man on the planet, but if I can’t keep a conversation going with you for more than five minutes, then I will obviously stop being attracted to you. So my policy is basically: looks will pull in, personality will keep me around.

@cynthialorene@xanga - agree~~

i need both. added bonuses to me are say… the guy has a career or a beautiful penis. lol. otherwise, the guy needs to stimulate BOTH physically and mentally. otherwise, whats the point.

Hmmm….. I think looks are kind of important but yeah, personality is obviously way more important. If he’s interesting or playful I’ll stick around. If he just looks good but is a total douche then ugh, its a shame. :[

If the guy’s got an amazing personality, he’s automatically attractive to me. He could be just “decent” when we first meet, but as I get to know him he just gets better and better looking. I don’t know why but hey. That works for me.

I have to attracted to him in some way. I want to say personality outweighs looks but I still need some type of attraction

There are people who I have found to be more physically attractive after I find out they have a great personality.

If he’s got a sense of humour then I’m sold. Dont really care about looks, I’m only look for height and nice hair which I dont think is unreasonable.

Appearance is nice but personality lasts waaaaaaaaay longer, so it matters in the long run.

why does everyone ask this question? it’s stupid. everything in life requires balance. no one wants a SO that looks like shit. no one wants a SO that acts like shit. or any combination thereof. duh.

Personally I think that looks are what initially draws you to a person. I don’t know anyone that’s ever looked at a guy and said “I bet he has a great personality, I’m going to go talk to him.” If you go over to a guy to chat, chances are you think he’s cute. The beautiful thing about that though is that beauty is completely subjective. There aren’t a lot of people that agree with me that my boyfriend of 2 years is handsome, and I even tried to use his looks as a point against him when I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t like him romantically. But since we’ve gotten so close, I can pick out things about his features that I think are gorgeous. Personality supplements looks, but looks are what reel you in initially. I guess there’s always exceptions–my boyfriend and I were close friends before we started dating, so I guess his personality drew me in more than his looks–but for relationships that don’t start off as close friends, it’s usually a “I think he’s cute I’ll talk to him” kind of deal. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Looks are definitely a bonus.  I’ve had girls I would consider cute-ish I guess, but I generally don’t think my gf’s have been all that attractive.  It’s always their personalities that swoop me up and keep me interested.

I fell in love with someone I was not physically attracted to until I fell for them. I had absolutely no interest until I spent time with, and got to know her.

REALLY?!? We needed a post about THIS?  C’mon girls.  Clearly, personality is more important in the long-run.  And by that I mean, a potential mate and life partner.  Yeah, if you’re looking to drop the guy in the short-run, some of us may think looks are more important.  

I’ll go for personality over looks any day. When I first met one of my exes, I wasn’t physically attracted to him at all. To be honest, I actually thought he was kind of ugly. But I got to know him and totally fell for his personality, and the physical attraction followed pretty quickly after that. It can happen! 

I couldn’t go out with someone who had a bad personality no matter how good he looked. I just couldn’t. If he is a jerk, rude to people, unkind and uncaring I could not go out with him. We would have nothing in common. Personality is very important to me and then I should at least be somewhat attracted to his looks. If he has a great personality it would make me more attracted to him, then if he just had looks and no character at all.

Would you have taken the time to get to discover this awesome personality if you weren’t already physically attracted to him?  sadly probably not. I mean that’s how most guys end up in the friend zone (they’re great guys but there’s no attraction).  A great personality can make the average looking appear more attractive and a crappy one can make an otherwise gorgeous guy repellant.  But without if you don’t even like to look at him, does the personality really matter?  

Personality, hands down. Beauty fades, but knowledge and personality is forever!

The best romantic partner will have the whole package. This doesn’t mean that they have to be the stereotypical “hot” look, but that they have to appeal to you visually. Luckily, each person has vastly different preferences.
Also, you didn’t learn that love is blind. You find the guy hot. Actually, since his looks are what first attracted you, that means that the personality would be the “added bonus” for you.
It’s not shallow to require sexual attraction in your mate, it’s necessary. You know what they call people who’s personalities mesh but who aren’t attracted to each other? FRIENDS.

I think both personality and looks are important, but personality slightly edging out the looks, as looks will fade with age.  If you do not find someone attractive, you will probably not just settle even if the personality is wonderful.  It’s a combination of things that are important to people when they look for a significant other.  It’s never just one thing.

Well, looks play a small factor into it since you have to be sexually attracted to a
person in order to be in that kind of relationship with them.  I’ve tried to make something between me and a guy who has a great personality and okay looks, but since there was no attraction on my part [he liked me and asked me out], I couldn’t take it any further than holding hands and cuddling [quite sad really...I thought I could get passed his looks but then I realized I couldn't force myself to be intimate with him just based on his personality]. However, personality plays a huge factor into it (cause I can’t stand jerks) but I still need some attraction to take the relationship up to that level (else they become friend-zoned). 

I almost never just find people attractive. I don’t go to the beach or to work and see a guy and go to my friend or co-worker, “he’s cute.” That just does not ever happen for me. When I get close to someone and get to know them, it’s always the personality that I fall for first. For me, being in love with everything that someone is makes them attractive and beautiful. When I met my SO, I didn’t really care for his looks at all, but he was nice to me and we had a lot in common. Now I can’t keep my hands off him and he’s the best looking guy in the world to me, haha. 

There needs to be both, of course. Looks are what drive the two of you together in the first place, and then the personality is shown afterward. Sometimes the opposite happens, where you find that someone has an amazing personality and it makes them seem even cuter than before. This is how it went with my most recent ex: I met him at a party, and at first I didn’t really find him that attractive. As we spent more time hanging out, however, I became hooked on his personality and found him more and more attractive. After dating for about ten months, we were becoming volatile and then he started becoming LESS attractive. It went the same for my ex before that, too. If your personality turns out to be shitty in the end (or not even shitty, but just not right for whoever you’re dating) the physical attraction is going to lessen as well. Even if someone is outrageously gorgeous, you’re not going to stay with them if they make you miserable. And if you do, then you deserve to be miserable, since you’re putting too much importance on beauty and not enough importance on emotions.

To some people, they just wanna bang. So they say screw personality. 

I’m sorry to be shallow but I need both. A nice personality can make them my friend but there needs to be physical attraction for me to date someone.

I think it takes both, like nature vs nurture, its a combination. I need to be attracted to the guy, but I don’t care if others see the attraction or not.  And I wont be attracted to the person is he was mean, arrogant, ignorant, etc.  For me half the attraction is what you see right off the bat, but the other half is personality, and personality is more important to the lasting relationship.

Personality definitely! I dated guys just because they were sweet, funny, and caring.

For me, what attracts me most to my boyfriend is his personality, the way he behaves, how he carries himself, etc. To me it doesn’t matter how he looks, I’d love him no matter what. I do find him physically attractive as well though, but i guess that’s the “added bonus” for me.

I don’t think any relationship will last if it’s just based on looks. If two people don’t love each other for their personalities then the relationship will fall apart at the first sign of trouble or will fizzle out before there’s even time for any kind of issue to arise.

A lot of times, once you get to know someone, their looks kind of fade away and you stop just seeing their outer appearance and you start just seeing who they actually are.

Even the most beautiful people will become ugly to you if their personality sucks.

 I would hate to be with an asshole. I can find  many attractive guys with a great personality. 

@galadrielspitcher@xanga - LOLOLOLOL, MMMMMM CANKLES!! 

As long as the personality isn’t fake! This particular situation reminds me of Jane Eyre! She can be plain, with a quaint personality and very plain looking, and I’ll relish in the beauty of her simple demeanor. She can be Gorgeous with and outgoing type of personality, and I’ll marvel at her like a celebrity; and if she’s cute and happily modest, I’ll tell her she’s the loveliest  creature on the planet each and every day! If she’s super hot with a shitty attitude, I’ll probably pass, but I wouldn’t shy away from telling her she’s a hottie!  I like to find whatever beauty i can on a physical level as well as when it comes to their attitude. Happy people are always pleasingly attractive in my eyes. 

this topic has been over done. COME ON LOVELYISH! damn

lol the guy’s gotta have an epic personality for me to consider dating. looks are an added bonus – i’m more about the guy’s style.

personality brings attraction (: (: (:

To me, their personality brings out the beauty. I could meet a guy without being attracted him physically at first, but don’t you find that after you get to know someone for a long time, they kind of look different from when you first knew them? This goes for everyone. And vice versa also. A bad personality turns people’s pretty faces into ugly ones with time. 

I know this sounds weird, but guys just look like guys. I haven’t met anyone horribly ugly I dont think. Very few men make me do a double take because they look hot. Personality means so much to me and compatibility.

If I like their personality, I’m physically attracted to them. The way I look at it is when you are old, where are your looks then? 

@sugar_mama@xanga - D’awww! Thanks. In all seriousness though, that sounds like a personal problem you should probably take up with the main guys at Lovelyish, because I highly doubt they’re going to take their time to comb through these comments and see if someone is telling them the topic is over-used.