Family dinners always give me something to think about, and tonight’s was no different. I hadn’t gotten together with my aunt, uncle, and cousins since my cousin and I have been home from college (which seems like forever!), so it was really great to see them.
I have to say, I totally lucked out in the cousin department. Molly and I are seven months apart; it couldn’t have worked out better if our parents planned it. She’s like my cousin and best friend all rolled into one.
We don’t have the type of relationship where we have to see each other all the time, or call/text constantly. We can go months without seeing each other, but as soon as we do, we’re chatting like no time has passed. We’ve traveled together, have an obnoxious amount of inside jokes, and experienced things together that only family could understand. I know she’s always going to be there for me. Basically, she’s like my sister.
This has always been the way it is. Molly and I are cousins and BFFs, end of story. But as I’ve gotten older, I think our relationship is kind of unique. Save for one of my friends, I haven’t heard of anyone with this kind of bond with a cousin. I know sisters that are tight as anything, but when it comes to other family members, most people I talk to have less than savory things to say. I know I certainly have family members that are more like strangers than anything else!
So tell me, Lovelies. Do you have extended family members that you’d hang out with outside of family events?
rose / 795 posts
My family is like this, too. I have 18 cousins on my mom’s side and we’re friends and hang out with each other outside of family functions.
guest
No. One side of my family doesn’t exist anymore. Not because they died. My mother won’t let me be a part of anything, won’t let my youngest sister have anything to do with me, and because my other not-as-young sister hates me and moved. As a result I have no contact with any of the family members I lived with, grew up with, and would have and did do anything for.
The other side, I feel awkward around because I didn’t see them very much growing up.
It sucks a lot. It’s very lonely not to feel like you have family.
Today I got an email from my 30 year old brother though. I think it might be a good way to connect with someone from my dad’s side, to help work through the awkwardness. Another of my younger sisters is coming over tomorrow to stay for a few nights so we can connect on a level that’s different than at my dad’s house. I think it will be fun. <3
daisy / 727 posts
I hang out with two of my guy cousins when they’re around. My sister and I pretty much grew up with them. It’s not awkward at all when we hang out. We definitely don’t see each other as much anymore though because one is out of state for school and the other lives an hour or so away. I’m not as close to my mom’s side of the family because my mom and aunt had a falling out for a few years, but when I do see them now it’s fine. It’s only at family events, but even that’s more than it was before haha.
guest
Nope. I don’t even like going to family functions anymore, to be honest. It’s not that I have a bad family or anything, they’re all good people, but things are just…weird between us. I just don’t feel welcome. Hard to explain.
guest
I used to hang out with my older cousin a fair bit when I was in high school and before then, and we always got along. But we both go to college now and maybe see one another twice a year, so I don’t really think of her like a sister or a really close relative much anymore. My other cousins are really stuck up and don’t like to interact with me or talk to me at all. My mom and I left my dad when I was 13 and I think the division started around the same time. It’s like, since we weren’t a “family” anymore, they didn’t consider me family (because it was my dad’s brother’s family). I am actually much closer to my SO’s family and his cousins.. haha.
orchid / 221 posts
I never go to family gatherings anymore but my sisters and I are like best friends, for sure.
daisy / 734 posts
All of my cousins are at least 20 years older than me…
sooooooo that works out just wonderfully.
Actually, when I was a kid they had me babysit their kids. Now that I’m an adult though they actually talk to me.
guest
i have no blood cousins (except for one that got disowned by my uncle), but i’ve never felt like i missed out on anything.
one of the best things about having friends you aren’t related to is that if things go downhill, you never have to speak to them again. as the saying goes, God gives you friends to make up for the family He stuck you with
lily / 5148 posts
I hang out with my aunt and a few of my cousins (her children) but most of the time, no.
guest
I’m gonna sound like a loser but my father is one of my best friends.
However, I’m estranged from my mother, who lives with my brothers; as a result, I don’t really see much of them either.
guest
Not really. My parents are the black sheep of their families. The one time my cousin got close was with her wedding, in which she used every game and trick to ask for money. My parents never received a thank you card back either.