As I was watching the end of the Miss USA 2011 competition last night, I was shocked when the last two contestants, Miss Tennessee and Miss California revealed they are best friends. The two held hands and shared words of encouragement while waiting for the final results. They really did look like BFFs.
What I found interesting was that as soon as the host announced that Miss California had won the coveted title, she let go of her friend’s hands, and Miss Tennessee was suddenly off the screen. I would have liked to have seen a hug between the friends or some recognition of each other afterwards. This got me thinking: is it possible to compete against your friend without someone’s feelings getting hurt? Is there really such a thing as friendly competition?
There is a competitive edge in all of us, even if we don’t always see it. It’s an edge that usually lays low on most days, but it will pop its head out at times, and once it’s out, it can be ugly. The thought of entering a competition with someone that you trust and are close to seems like a great idea. Everything seems better with your support system by your side, but, how long will that support last? If the two friends truly care about what they are competing for, it is almost impossible for them to not become competitive, because as much as you want it for your friend, you probably want it for yourself much more.
Last year, my roommate and I both applied for the same scholarship. My roommate and I are very close; we were also both good students and had similar grades, so it really could have gone to anyone. The difference between my roommate and I was that my roommate’s grandparent’s had given her parents the funds to cover her school tuition. This meant her school was already paid for, while my parents were saving every penny and taking out loans.
Suddenly, for me at least, emotions were involved. I began to really care about getting this scholarship, as much as I loved my roommate, I thought I deserved it. And yet school has ended for summer and I hadn’t received any word back from the school, so I assumed I didn’t get the scholarship, I was right.
A month later, when my roommate and I met in the city for lunch, she told me that she had in fact gotten the scholarship. I did not show it at the time, but I was hurt. I wondered why she got it over me, someone who genuinely needed it. I felt guilty for thinking those things after hearing my roommate’s news, but my feelings got involved in the competition and that is when things can get messy.
Do you think there is such a things as friendly competition? Have you ever competed against your best friend?
guest
One of my really good friends and I were both called back for the same role once. It was really awkward, and when I got it she cried and called her mom to take her home from school (this was back in high school). I think she went way overboard as it was a small role that she didn’t even want in the first place, and she still made it into the chorus while there are many girls that didn’t make it at all. Still, it took a while for us to fix things after. So I’m not sure if there is such thing as friendly competition.
guest
Haven’t really. My best friend and I are into similar things (band in high school for example), but we never competed for the same thing, because we played different instruments. However, she got the guy I liked once. I accepted it and I was happy for her.
sunflower / 309 posts
I’m sorry to hear about your situation
my understanding about the way scholarships are distributed in my school is that it is based on a point system of grades and letter of rec and stuff, and then financial need is taken into account, at least for merit based ones, and need second, unless the scholarship is specifically need-based.
Don’t get discouraged! keep applying
guest
competition is competition, there is no friendly competition but there is friendship outside of competition
I hate racing my friends and teammates b/c you want to win but you also don’t want them to be upset b/c they’re going to be needing moral support after.
guest
I’m not terribly competitive. I play games with friends and play to win, but I don’t care if they win. I can’t remember any time I’ve competed with anyone for something important, but I’m still happy with what I have, so if I don’t win, it’s not a big deal. I’d just be happy for my friend.
guest
my college tuition was fully paid for with financial aid and I got extra money for books, etc. I commuted to school nearby and saved money on dorming fees. my best friends and I all went our separate ways at different colleges far away from each other, so no competition due to our different majors. college was pretty chill for me
my biggest competitor and worst critic is myself since I’m a perfectionist. my friends often got past a 4.0 GPA, since they were also perfectionists and went above and beyond or were overachievers. I admired their motivation
guest
that’s such a sucky situation to be in!
My best friend from high school used to compete with me a lot…and unfortunately, it contributed to the ending of our friendship
guest
I compete against friends all the time, being a Music Major. There are always chair placements and competitions and solos. But at the end of it, it doesn’t really matter all that much, since most of us just want to be teachers, not performers.
The worst competition is against a person you’re dating, especially when you’re the perpetual winner.
magnolia / 1054 posts
I don’t think that there’s any competition between my best friend and I because she never really goes out and I go out and do a lot of things. But I know how it feels. I had one friend who I would constantly compete with secretly, it’s hard to hide.
guest
We can feel a little but competitive although some of us sincerely mean the best.
guest
i think you can happy for a person, but secretly inside you do feel like..”why not me?”
daisy / 599 posts
@AzNgUrl3510@xanga - I agree.
ranunculus / 3457 posts
There is no such thing as friendly competition, especially among women. Women by nature have to be more competitive and petty.
guest
in defense of Miss USA the ppl who give Miss USA the crown quickly usher off the first runner up in order to the give the winner the stage. kinda lame but thats how they do it. and everyone competes. i feel like it’s in our nature. even if its just to get a higher grade. win a race. get a bigger house. read more books. go on more trips. i could go on. ppl are competing even when there really is no need. we like to compare ourselves to others and winning is their aim. bummer.