Lovelyish

Screw James Franco. I want the guy in the picture. 

I was single throughout all of college and I was in NYU and no boys tried to touch my boobs. Just Sayin’

There were couples I know of who’ve been together for all of college from high school who I thought would end up together. They split right after college ended.  If it were me, I would have felt like that would be a huge waste to be together during all four years of college like that just to end right after graduating?  I agree they could have experienced new people.  Luckily college has been over for me for a while and I definitely was single for a majority of college.

Hey it’s William Levy! What’s my sexy Mexican novella star doing on here (he’s Cuban/ American I believe but stars in Mexican shows)???? Mmmm yummy

Being single in college definitely isn’t for everyone. I got engaged while I was in college (age 18) and now I’m very happily married. I was still able to have my “independence” and meet new people. I wasn’t one for hooking up so I don’t feel like I missed out on that at all. 

As a guy, I can say that I knew lots of girls who took all 4 of those reasons to heart. Then I knew a lot of girls who took points 1, 2, and 4 to heart, and ignored point 3. Guess which girls were branded as sluts?

Hookups don’t happen with me babycakes. There are a lot of whores in college but i’m not one of them.

SORRY JAMES FRANCO hahahaha
I broke up with my boyfriend near the beginning of my senior year of high school and it turned out to be a great decision. I was really able to focus on being with my friends and meeting my goals before college.

Aside from the boob-touching part (the man would need to wine and dine me first! lol), I agree with you on so many levels. I had a boyfriend for the first 3 years of my college career, and I didn’t realize until we broke up how much I missed out on – and I’m not just talking about the partying and hook-ups. Some think that they know who they are while committed to another person, but they don’t – they only know who/how they are when they have that person (or anyone) around. It’s not until you are able to be on your own will you know who you truly are. Just my opinion though!

I’d rather pump hot glue into my ears than have a random hook up. If someone touches my boobs my foot and his balls will know each other on a first name basis.

I met my boyfriend in college and I was independent, got to meet who the hell I wanted, was happy banging him when I went home, and never changed my hair color for anyone but myself.

No. I like my boyfriend. but thanks for the offer. If I ever want to whore myself out in collage I’ll say to myself “Lovelyish told me i should be single for collage, so i can get hookups and stuff”  And I think you can still have independence, and live your life for yourself while your in a relationship, honestly most guys don’t like clingy girlfriends, and they like there girlfriends to become something/there own person. and You can met new people in or not in a relationship… I mean the only thing you can’t do is flirt/cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend unless your not so nice of a person. But Alright, I’ll give you this, this do apply on reason’s on why you should break up with someone if you notice your relationship is abusive.

 I have never been and never will be one to hook up. I only do those kind of things in a committed relationship. In about 80 years will it really matter if we were single in college? No.
To each their own..

“It’s a time for hooking up with cute boys, making new friends, trying new things and learning about yourself.”

i feel sorry for our youth…they obviously have no clue what college is really about. 

Good advice. I don’t know why everyone’s focusing on the hookup part of it.. that’s the least important factor. 

@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - My sentiments exactly. 

I got married in college.  It was/is worth it.

@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Thank you for making sense.

@merquryd@xanga - Lucky! I was single through college and would have killed to have wound up married during my experience.

@lifeonacitybusem4@xanga - I agree with you. The hooking-up part is one very small facet of this…and by the way, random hook-ups do not automatically make a person a slut, whore, or whatever. But that’s besides the point.

I think this article could have been better without mention of a boyfriend/significant other, and just focused on giving advice about what you should aim for in college, whether coupled up or not. (Excluding number 3 in this case, although that is obviously a small part of college life which people may face at one point or another.) 

#3 is pathetic and sad. I’m sorry you have such little respect for yourself that you’d rather hook up with strangers than be in a committed relationship with someone who, I dunno, actually CARES about you. How shallow.

@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Not everyone’s out there looking for relationships all the time. Hooking up may not be for you, in the same way relationships may not be for someone else. It’s been said already, but to each their own. 

@HelloBabyHello - Every person is worth something. Throwing themselves away to strangers who don’t care about them at all isn’t “to each their own.” I’m really sorry you actually believe that.

@passionforapurpose@xanga - The thing about that is not everyone views hooking up as “throwing themselves away.” I just thought people were overreacting a bit to number 3. It happens, and not everyone who does it is out there looking for it constantly.

wooowww…about the hooking up part. i’m going to echo that hooking up is a very small part of college experience. also i think people are misinterpreting her post. she’s just saying keep your options open. and like others have said what may work for one person won’t work for others. dating new people doesn’t necessarily equate to sleeping around.

GO AWAY JAMES FRANCO! 

lol….

4 more reasons than I need…

I live with my boyfriend, I’m in college and guess what? Half of this is bs. I still dress the same way I did before I met him, I’m more independent now than I would be if I was on my own because really I can’t rely on my parents anymore. Also, I hang out with my friends all the time and my boyfriend doesn’t care. Why? Because he trust me. That’s the thing about relationships, if there’s trust then things should be good. 

And if you can’t wear sweats and no-make up around your boyfriend then you need a new boyfriend. I only wear makeup at work and I’m wearing sweats right and he never says anything. He still treats me like a million bucks. 

because college is all about finding the M.R.S. Degree…not!

I’ve been with my boyfriend since sophomore year of High School. He left right away (I stayed in community college) and still met enough girls that are friends, none of which are prettier than me. He isn’t missing out. I won’t miss out when I leave in the fall. We have no desire to party. For us, college is a time for SCHOOLWORK and hanging/meeting new friends. It was never about hookups or meeting cute boys/girls. Even before college we thought that. By the way – we go to different colleges so he or I can go wherever and do whatever we want anytime we want. We don’t have to check on each other’s schedules, thats silly.

To me, I can either put in a shitload of time and effort trying to look good for the guys for every party I go to in an attempt to hook up, when hooking-up isn’t even definitely guaranteed…

…orrrrrrr I could have a steady boyfriend who doesn’t care if I’m wearing a sexy dress or sweatpants when he sees and I can have (good) sex on a regular basis.
Hence boyfriend > single life and trying to hook up

I don’t think it’s necessarily any more important to be single during college than it is at any other point in life. Yes, it is important to find your independence. But this can be done while you’re dating someone. Independence is more of an inward feeling, in my opinion. And it’s really nice to always have someone to depend on and be there for you when you need him. I met lots of new people (guys included) and my boyfriend, now fiancé was never jealous. That’s not really a valid reason because if your guys gets jealous that easily, there might be a problem that will be a problem when you’re 30 too. Hook ups? Really? I never went to college to party or get my boobs touched. Please. I live my own live. I wear what I want, eat what I want, do my hair the way I want. Again, if you are doing things like that just to please your guy, that’s it’s own issue that doesn’t have anything to do with being in college. I started dating my now fiancé in high school and we’ve been together ever since, scheduled to get married next summer. Of course it’s not for everyone. And if it’s not for you, that’s a personal decision and completely fine. But I’m so sick of the “you-need-to-break-up-before-college” crap because it’s just BS.

I don’t think hook ups are worth it.  I think… well, in the name of staying positive, I won’t voice my opinion about that.  Up until there, I was liking your list 

Anyway, I’m 20 and engaged, and we plan to marry after college – so I have about six more years to go (not including my residency, but we may get married before/during that).  I’m fine with being attached during college because I’m with the man that I love and want to be with, but I can understand why (aside from #3…) a girl or guy might want to be single through college.  If you don’t know exactly who you want to be with for the rest of your life, being single is actually ideal, for the most part

Much rather a stable relationship than my few random hook ups :/

You know what I did in college? I got an education, sans the parties, excessive consumption of booze, and STDs.

@beebizzle@xanga - Right?! 

Honestly, just fucking leave people alone. Let them be in their relationships, let them be single; what worked for you is not going to work for everyone else. I’m really tired of listening to single people talk about why being in a relationship blows. You are basically telling people to dump their significant others just in time for college so they can better their lives. Give me a goddamn break. I’d understand this article more if it were, “Hey, these are a few upsides to being single” rather than, “You are better off single – so do it! If you don’t, you have no chance to be happy!”

Those are some pretty shitty reasons for being single in college. Anything would have been better than those four. Even “focus on your studies”, like my parents always told me to do. 

Some people date in college; some people are more ready for commitment at that point than others. This post is badly worded and makes it sound like you are failing college if you are not out there partying it up while finding your identity on the side. 

I don’t know about this.  If they make each other happy for the moment, then why not? it’s not time wasted even if it doesn’t work out.

from a guy who’s looking for commitment, i frown at girls who hook up and don’t even bother considering them datable material muchness someone to bring home to the parents.  

@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - THIS. ALL OF THIS. Thank you!!!

I believe this too! But I also believe there is that one exception. My ex boyfriend and I broke up before I started college and I thought it might work out for the better. I did horribly in school and just didn’t care for my first year. Then my last year rolls around and I meet the bestest guy in the whole wide world. He works full time so I have tons of freedom. The funny thing is, that I did better in school, got appreciated by my teachers, etc because of him. He was a big motivation for me and I’m sho glad I am NOT single.

It IS smart to be single in college and everything (besides hooking up for me) in your post, I agree with. But my boyfriend is my exception only because he’s making my life better.

(I hope I don’t sound too blah blah I LOVE MY BF<3<3<3 RAWR GRR)

This left a bad taste in my mouth.  I don’t think college is to me what it is to you.  To me it’s more about the studying than hooking up with airhead bimbos, but to each their own.

Go away james franco reminded me of
YOU GO GLEN COCO

I agree overall…not so much with the hookups though, just because I’m not personally like that. 

I guess those are good reasons to not have an unsatisfying, second-rate relationship. But a good one, one that’s leading to a good marriage, is worth all of the work you put in. And really, the only thing on that list that you can’t do while in a good relationship is hooking up. And guys, hookups aren’t that great, they don’t broaden your horizons, and the sex with someone you love and have been with for a long time is so much better.

I never dated until I started college, and then I only had very casual relationships. And by casual relationships, I mean they lasted anywhere from 7 months to 2 years, but I didn’t take them very seriously.

I was very independent – moved 2000 miles away from “home” after I graduated high school, paid my own bills, didn’t even speak to my parents for 2 years, took care of myself entirely.
Now I’m in a serious relationship with a guy I actually knew since freshman year of high school. He flew to visit me after we’d only gone on one date when I’d been home visiting my family. We hadn’t even kissed yet when he bought a plane ticket to come visit me. Now I’ve moved again, to come to live with him in another state, and we’re probably going to get married.
At this point I’m learning how to be in a serious relationship, I already did the single independent thing, and I did it well. It’s kind of hard adjusting to having another person in my life.It’s very interesting to have both of our names on the lease, and on my new bank account!

@passionforapurpose@xanga - @sarahzthoughts@xanga - It’s not like that for everyone. For example, I have a friend who has been in Morocco the past two years with the Peace Corps. He graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree, in economics I think, but throughout the time I’ve known him (college) he’s always just been one to hook up and date different women. Not because he’s shallow, but because he’s not looking to be in a committed relationship. Nor would I, if I planned to be leaving the country for a few years after college.

 I’m pretty certain you don’t know this mass of people you’re judging, all the people who choose to mostly stay unattached throughout college. It makes you seem kind of shallow, really, thinking along the lines of, “oh they’ve chosen to be single and hook up with people in college – they must be pathetic and greatly lacking in self-respect.”

I have had a boyfriend so far the entire time I’ve been in college, and I am happy with the way things are going. But I can see the upsides to being single, too. Hell, if you’re not in a relationship but you want to have sex, more power to you! As long as you’re being safe, responsible, and neither partner is underrage, everybody else can take their opinions and judgments and shove them up their asses.

Really, a couple comments sound as though they’re coming from someone sitting on a high pedestal, looking down their nose in disdain. Not everyone views sex as something dramatic like, “throwing yourself away” – I’m sorry you’re so narrow-minded that you can’t accept that, well, to each his own. Personally, I think it’s ridiculous to “save yourself” for marriage, but you won’t see me jumping on anyone’s back over it. It’s their life, and everybody’s doing their own thing. No two situations are the same, and no one’s even saying #3 means, go out and be a giant slut – It just advises you to keep your options open, and be willing to date new people.

I became a better person in university because of my husband. He pulled me out of my depression and taught me how to be happy. Now, I’m more independent than I already thought I was, he wants me to do things I love, to branch out and talk to people, and to become the person I was supposed to be all along, all because he cares for my well-being. If boyfriends are going to be clingy and withholding you from everything you mentioned, than they clearly are not ready to be in a relationship. As for number 3, I hold alot respect for myself to not allow that to happen, if it ever did. I’d like a faithful, commited relationship with someone who knows how to respect my personal boundaries.

This list won’t work for everyone. I think that having a relationship in college is very important because it really puts it to the test. If you can survive college and maintain a healthy relationship through it all, your relationship can withstand just about anything.

I don’t think this would have worked for me, because I didn’t actually move when I started college. I’m living at home. So I don’t have any friends at my school because once classes are over, I don’t just hang around and go out with people… I want to freaking go home. And normally my boyfriend and I will see each other at least twice a week when we aren’t in school, working or doing homework. But both of us know that school comes first. If there’s something we have to do, we will get it done. If there’s something we want to do at school after/before classes, we won’t stop one another. Having a relationship does not hold you back, in my opinion. It actually helps to have someone to lean on. It helps to have someone who really knows you, who loves you, takes care of you and reassures you when things don’t go your way.

Besides, having friends in college isn’t going to really get you anywhere. The more friends you have, the more likely you are to procrastinate, go out and do other things when you have projects, tests or papers to write, and the more distracted you will be getting texts every 5 seconds to go somewhere or do something with someone when you really have tons of things you already have to do. And chances are once you graduate, you’ll never see them again. So why waste 4 years building a relationship when you’ll never speak to the person again after that? It’s better to have a long term romantic relationship that you know you will continue to have for a long time after you graduate.

Wanting to experience “new things” is not grounds for a breakup. I personally would rather face a new chapter of my life with someone by my side to help me than face it alone. In college, you are forced to become more independent than you were in high school with or without a boyfriend/girlfriend. You still have to make your own decisions, manage your finances, get your work done, etc., etc. whether you are in a relationship or not. But for me, having some help with these kinds of things is in no way harmful.

It also depends just how in love you are with someone. You know in your heart. And you did what you felt was best. It seemed to work for you, but the same things will not work for others. I’m glad for my luck in finding someone so special so early in my life. We’ve been together almost 4 years now, and I don’t see a future without him. I wouldn’t let that go just to make myself feel more independent, find friends, hook up with random strangers (Ew), or to ”be myself”. (which I already am. I’m FAR from perfect, but he’s seen all sides of me and is still around. That counts for something.)

xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx

I don’t get why hooking up with random people in college is such a “big thing” I’m missing out on…

Ahh I needed this!

“sexy boys will find you and try to touch your boobs. Do you want to have to say no to that?”

Um, why yes I do want to say no to that. That’s gross and disrespectful. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in college out of college, 18 or 28, single, taken, “it’s complicated”, whatever. I don’t care how sexy you are NO ONE will touch my boobs, buns or the like without meeting a severe punishment. More than likely my spit in their face or my knee/shoe/stilletto to their crotch.

If thats what you think college is about you need a reality check. “New experiances” shouldn’t mean “of a sexual nature.” Ew.

so are you saying that you can’t learn the subway system by yourself while being in a relationship?  lol.

These tips don’t really seem like good reasons to be single in college, they seem more like examples of a bad relationship. If you had to change who you were for your boyfriend, or if he was extremely jealous of everything you did, it was your boyfriend that caused a bad experience, and you were right to break up with him. There’s no reason to end a healthy relationship after high school solely for the sake of being single in college.

As far as hooking up goes, I don’t think you can classify those girls as ‘whores’. Men who have sex with many women aren’t classified as ‘whores’. Of course to some people they are, but the stereotype is that they’re just cool for doing so. If a woman is able to express her sexuality without a serious attachment, then more power to her. We shouldn’t judge her for exercising her human rights. I personally would not be able to hook up with anyone because I get attached too easily, but to someone capable of doing it, why not?

Nothing wrong with being single, but I can’t help myself who I fall
for–even if it means being in a healthy, requited relationship.
Therefore, I prefer not to push love away. Greatest thing ever.

Ever
since I started dating my awesome boyfriend, I felt a lot more creative
and productive with myself. I met more interesting people because of
him.

Agreed!

You are correct. if you were in a relationship in college, you’d probably lose a lot. that would be better for you to be in a relationship after studying – that’s real youthhood and you can enjoy everything without  worries on studies;p

Just saying I think this is really good advice. Maybe the hook-up’s bit is a bit too far, but the rest is bang on.

I think its completely different with different people. Though I get what you’re saying, and a lot of people will agree with you, but I find that I can be myself even in a relationship, I don’t need to be single to have fun. I’m very comforatable in my relationship and I don’t see how college will affect that – going in September.

I agree! About 6 months ago my 4 year relationship ended. It was devastating considering I had been with him since I was 16 (I’m 20 now). However, with a little bit of time I’ve come to LOVE the breakup! I feel like it’s been such a blessing in disguise. For the first time in my life I am free in a way I had never really gotten to experience. 
I don’t think there’s any better time to be single then in your early twenties! 

Jesus Christ, thank you population of the world, for judging someone who is in control of their sexuality. What the hell does it matter if someone wants to hook up or not? It’s none of your business and it doesn’t affect you, so stop either implying or directly saying the writer is a whole/slut/whatever.

Fuck.

I love reading this list  

I don’t agree with this. I met an amazing boyfriend who is both my best friend and my lover, who lets me be me. He’d never hold me back from reaching my dreams and finding myself. He, in fact, is the one who helps me through every up and down of college. He’s the sweetest man alive. I’m not in college to “hook up”. I’m in college to LEARN and work hard. I have fun, but I know my limits. I don’t drink or party and  my boyfriend’s the same way.

Meh, I’m getting married in a month to the man I met my sophomore year in high school. We’ve got another semester of college left, and I have absolutely no regrets.

I think it depends on your personality. If you’re the type of girl that feels weighed down by a relationship, you probably shouldn’t be in one, college or not. College can be a great time to grow into yourself and change, and it is! Thing is, because I was able to make a relationship work through the years of change, challenge, and doubt (we’re definitely not the same people we were five, even two years ago), I know that marriage is going to be less of an adjustment than most people. So many of my friends marry, then freak out after 3 or 4 years when the SO “does something they never did before”. I know that I’m prepared for that because it’s happened so many times already, and adaptation is possible. Not always easy, but if the person means enough to you, it’s worth it.

These reasons only apply if you have a shitty relationship. A mature, adult relationship that’s leading to marriage is absolutely worth the effort. Would I rather have a “hook up” (I find that my definition of hooking up is quite different from others) than a jackass boyfriend who holds me back? Yes. Would I rather have a hook up than a stable partnership full of love and compassion and great sex? Never. I am single for the first time in college, and I have slept with a two guys that I was only casually dating, but I would gladly hold out and put my heart and soul into a real relationship with a promising future if I meet the right person.

The point of the story is: don’t waste your time in college. Get an education and work on improving yourself and learning about life. If your boyfriend is conducive to this, then good. If he gets in the way, you can do better alone.

Bahaha parts of this made me laugh (“sexy boys will find you and try to touch your boobs.”–this seriously made me laugh out loud.).  I’m going in to college, and my boyfriend might be getting deported this December, so it’s very reassuring to know that if I lose him (which I’m really really really not wanting to), the world won’t end. 

Personally I’d rather stay with the guy I’ve been with for a year a half than be single and meet/hook up with random guys that I know nothing about.  The boyfriend I have right now is perfect for me.  We think the same way and want the best for each other.  Why would I want to give that up? So I can go party it up and get a bad name for myself? No thanks!

in a successful, healthy relationship you will be able to do all the above things and more.

I wish I had broken up with my boyfriend before college. 

story of my life. thank you so much. i needed this <3

Throughout college I was in a long term relationship. Throughout that time, I had independence, met new people, lived my own life for me as well as my partner. Oh, I also had mind blowing sex throughout.  I’m getting married to her in 4 months.  There is nothing on your list that I didn’t have except the risk of STDs.  You can have your singleness, I’ll take my pure bliss.

I think it’s a good idea to be single at least freshman year…but other than that I think college can be an amazing opportunity to meet a boyfriend or potential husband.

I completely disagree with this post.  Hookups don’t magically happen whether your single or not.  I’ve never had a random hookup since I’ve been in college and I’ve been dating the same guy for 4 years.  You’re stereotypical view of “how college life should be” is disappointing.  College is about bettering yourself, getting an education, and actually doing something with your life.  That’s probably why I’m already graduated with an Associates degree and about to go to a four year university to get another degree; all while having a boyfriend. Almost everyone else I graduated with in high school is still classified as a freshman in college, and is basically going no where.  It’s posts like this that DON’T empower women to be independent.  If you want to be independent without a guy, fine, but don’t make it because you want random hookups. . . make it because you want to be a powerful successful woman.

Personally I prefer being in a relationship through college. I know someone has my back no matter what and won’t get too butt hurt when I lay low for a few days to do my work. Plus, i wouldn’t ‘hook-up’. Frankly colleges are filled with attractive young people and i don’t need the distraction while pursuing far more important things. “What attractive guy? Oh that’s right I want an A in this class.” And finally if I manage to have the night off I can plan a date with my man spur of the moment without pussyfooting around the “do you like me?” BS because..you know…he obviously loves me already.

Being single in college isn’t important.

What’s important is that if you ARE single in college – that you enjoy your time and experience everything there is to experience being single while not turning into a complete whore. I’ve never been one to just randomly hook-up. I’ve always been a very committed person. I met my husband when we were almost 18, we’re now 22 and happily married. Is this how it works out for most people? No. Did I miss an important time to be “single”? No. We met the right people young, and we don’t at all wish we had time to randomly hook up. We’re both independent people, but our relationship is strong because a lot of our most important years for “growth” we spent together – we went from our teenage years to adulthood together and it’s been amazing to experience with him.

My boyfriend and I got together the summer before uni and we’ve stayed together throughout our first year. I’m very happy with him and would rather have him than random hook-ups anyday, even if I don’t get to see him that often.

@beebizzle@xanga - LOL It’s not like college is there for like education and all that boring stuff, right?

@sexliesandcoffee@xanga - right! psh…it’s for partying and have lots of sexxxx! or stuff like that.

I will never understand the “hooking up” thing. Ever. I am way too afraid of catching an STD, as should everyone else. You can’t trust anyone by their word. I mean, why would you sleep with someone when you haven’t had that person tested? Sounds extremely irresponsible and stupid to me.

@beebizzle@xanga - Exactly! The imporant stuff!

Yeah… I can see how this post makes you sound kind of slutty… That hook-ups section came off sounding pretty bad.

At any rate, hook ups are fun, but I prefer to have a boyfriend, for reasons known only to me.

@itwaswritteninblood@xanga - LOL!

I like how out of the [count 'em] FOUR categories you wrote, everyone only seemed to have read the ”hook-ups” one… – -;

I for one completely AGREE with this post. I ended things with my high school sweetheart after Senior year when we went to different bi-coastal colleges, and I can definitely say that it was the best decision I could have ever made!  I’m 24 now, and realize that being single not just in college but throughout your twenties has been the best way to grow and get in touch with myself. I’ve still dated, but haven’t gotten serious with anyone because I still feel like I have so much introspection and exploring left to do.. I just wish more young girls thought this way… I don’t know why so many women need a man in their lives to feel validated.
BTW, MEGA E-PROPS FOR THE WILLIAM LEVY PHOTO!!!!!!! he’s my favorite!!

I wish i had the courage to break up with my boyfriend but I really have no reason too. I go to community college so its whatever but once I am going to school downtown I want to be single for sure.