Lovelyish

I don’t think there is a ‘normal’.

Why the hell are teenagers so worried about virginity? Focus on your damn homework, geez…

I remember looking at a survey in CosmoGirl magazine that said the average age is 15. I think a good age would be 16.

I don’t think everyone is the same age when they are ready HOWEVER I find it hard to believe anybody would be ready at 13!!

I waited until I was 23 & I have no regrets! I simply didn’t find “the one” until then. I always had very strong instincts to wait because you can’t take it back after you give it up….

MarriAGE is the best age to lose it. 

I wouldn’t say “normal”, but rather, what is average.  ”Normal” implies that any other age makes one easy or a prude.

What is average?  I would think a high schooler.

18. I felt weird about doing it while I was underage, so I didn’t haha. 

here in the UK the legal age is 16, however like you said, some girls choose to loose their virginity before this age,the lowest age ive hear has been 11 =/ which is wierdly low aged =/  But i still I believe that whenever a girl feels ready she should loose her virginity, whether it be with her first guy shes dating or when’s shes getting married, but everybody’s different and everybody shares different views on these things.. :]

I was 14 and SO wish I had waited. 

my mother rented this educational live-birth video from the local library and I watched some lady give birth and that was scarier than a freddie kreuger movie, so I was deterred from sex despite knowing about the different contraceptives. my mother even asked me if I wanted to go on birth control but that was to control some of the mild acne that I had, which I declined, because I hate taking meds. then my health teacher mentioned possible cauliflower stds on peens, which prompted me to react in disgust or for guys to get the eff away from me when I was in high school, so sex wasn’t on my mind I was naive and still in the scare tactic cooties freshman phase, so I didn’t lose my virgnity young. I knew about sex since I was in third grade though when my grandma tried to explain the birds and the bees to me for some odd reason, but I vaguely remember it and didn’t really pay attention or care. I was still self conscious of my body back then, so getting naked for sex was something that I dreaded and another reason for not being too eager to do the deed-however, I know that you don’t have to go completely naked, I just wasn’t comfortable with my sexuality and body to do sexual things yet. anyway, I wasn’t ready and I knew that I was too selfish to have a kid if it happened because some rare cases, she can still get pregnant using birth control, so we were already struggling to have enough money, thus it would be a financial burden and all these other things. I had a life plan and was mature beyond my years with high priorities other than sex, romantic relationships,etc, so that was a factor.

I agree with your post. I didn’t know what sex really was until high school…call me a prude, but it was probably because of my upbringing. My parents are both from China, and they lived a life of extreme prudery there, and that followed them into the states. I wasn’t even allowed to date in high school, and I’m pretty sure if I did, I would be on lock-down. I’m heading into my jr year of college, and I still can’t tell my parents about my personal life. I was 18, almost 19 when I had my first kiss and my first boyfriend.

As for a “normal age”…this may be my prudishness, but I’d put it at around 16, 17…I feel like 13 is way too young

I think it depends on when you’re ready. I’m 17 and I lost it a few months ago and I don’t regret anything. 

I was 19. I am not sure if I was even ready then. However, girls are hitting puberty earlier and earlier than ever before, so it makes sense that they are having sex earlier too. Yes, there are other things to be more concerned with at that age, but it biologically makes sense.

@QuantumStorm@xanga - haha! That’s funny but true!

@LyricallyCharged@xanga - & that’s true too. There’s only an average age, not normal.

What still baffles me is when teens I kno been having sex since 14 & 15, & then a large amount of them “accidentally” get pregnant by purposely having unprotected sex by senior yr of high school or at 18. What made them be so irresponsible all of a sudden?

….that a different subject….

Well, I would advise people to wait until AFTER high school, at the very least. I think sex should be something people take seriously and I don’t think high schoolers are ready for that kind of commitment and all the risks associated with it. I was 18 when I had sex for the first time and I wish I hadn’t. Just because it was really stupid. lol  I didn’t end up dating the guy for that much longer and he had issues and I should have waited. I don’t think waiting for marriage is stupid, though. I think it’s great and wish I had done that. My husband and I did wait till our wedding night, to have sex for the first time together, and it was great. Anyway, people are going to do what they want to do and whatever, but it’s just my opinion that people should at least wait till they are out of high school.

I lost it about a week from the 16th birthday. While I think I was on the younger scale of acceptable ages  to lose your virginity at, I don’t think the age is as important as your maturity and the person you’re doing it with.

I didn’t even want to do it with the guy I lost my virginity to. He just kept pressuring me, dragging me into the house even though I was telling him I wasn’t sure and in the end I did it just so I won’t disappoint him. At the time I really regretted not waiting for a better time but looking back I regret not waiting for a better person.

At 13, I’m hard to convince you are at all near the maturity level to understand what comes with sex, let alone ready to deal with it. 

I knew about sex at a very very very young age.  I think I first watched porn when I was like 7  or 8 or something.  I actually watched porn kind of a lot when I was younger.  However, when I got old enough to start thinking seriously about it (13 or 14) I went the route of educating myself about sex related things instead of doing it.  But I have that type of personality where I research before doing or deciding on anything anyway.

I personally think anyone in high school that’s having sex is too young.  I say that because it is assumed that you still rely heavily on your parents and I think that sex is for consenting adults (preferably married adults).  Sex carries with it a lot of risks and baggage and I think one should be ready to handle EVERYTHING that comes with sex.  Sex needs more thought than just  “omg I luv him I want to be with him 4eva!!!111!!!”  Those feelings can change, and at that age they often do, but other things that come with sex aren’t as easy to get rid of.

With that being said I lost my virginity two weeks before my 20th birthday.  We’re married, now.

i just turned 21, and i am still a virgin. i want to lose it to a guy i really care about, and i’m single and am not looking, so i have no plans on losing my virginity anytime soon. and i’m fine with that. my best friend when i was a teenager had a horrible first time, and didnt even tell me about it for months because she regretted it, and i always said i would never be like that. i want it to be special. and if that’s in 5 months or 5 years, i’m okay with waiting.

I’ll be 23 in two weeks…I’ve survived through college and everything. I’m still a virgin. 

@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - HAHAHAHA oh wow, the miracle of life and cauliflower penises were what deterred me too!!!! 

My first kiss was at 14 during Truth or Dare.  And I lost my virginity, like you, at 17.  It was to my boyfriend of three years.

The second (and last) man that I shared myself with was/is my current fiance.  Now he’s all I need for the rest of my life in that department… lol.

I do think that girls and boys are having sex younger and younger.  My mom’s old friend’s son, at age 7, was caught having sex.  It was despicable.  But I think that the sexualization of America is contributing to this – what do these kids think when they see everything sexed up?  Sex sells.  It’s a fact.  But I think it’s wildly inappropriate for many of the outlets it’s used for.

Don’t worry about normal. Worry about when you’re mature enough to understand the consequences. For me, that was 18. 

@Rukida@xanga - yeah, stretching the vag to let the baby out looks painful and creepy those were a few reasons, including the horror story of my mother being in labor for like 2 days, but the main deterrent though was that I did not want to repeat history of being a single mom like my mom, even though she can manage on her own like others have. I just didn’t want to be impulsive and make more rational/organized decisions that the guy is close to husband material

I lost mine at 16 which is an average age to loose it at. But luckily I’m still with the person I lost my virginity to 6yrs ago but I know that is not very common at all. People should think these things through but I wouldn’t give a kid shit for thinking about sex at 13. Everyone is different. I was at least curious about those types of things even while I was in elementary school but that doesn’t mean I went around doing stupid things. I played with barbies and made forts too but I was also interested in things a child normally wouldn’t think too much about because I was not only an early bloomer but I was very mature for my age.

there is no normal age..its different for everyone. I don’t think people should put so much pressure on others. I know people who got made fun of for being a virgin in their mid 20′s. If thats what they want to do then who are you to tell them there is something wrong with that?

@MC_Shann@xanga - I agree….but what if you never get married?

I don’t think there’s a “normal age”. It’s when you’re ready. But I find it hard to believe too many people younger than about 16 or 17 really are ready. Physically ready, yes. But I think people should have a few years of relating to the opposite gender in non-sexual ways before they throw sex in the mix.
I’m 28 and still a virgin. I’m waiting for the one I love, but I’m wondering if I missed the boat…

I was 16 and a half. I very much dislike the person I lost it to, but I don’t regret a thing. I was in love at the time. My current boyfriend was 14 when he lost his. Most people I know were 17 or 18, but I still know plenty of virgins.

I actually agree with this whole post (and that doesn’t happen very often).
It amazes me how the younger generations are “growing up” faster and faster, wanting to do more “adult” things that require a level of maturity that, in my opinion, is nearly impossible for a 13 year old to possess.
However, I may be a bit of a prude… after all, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 17 (a H.S. junior), and that was with my best friend. We dated for like two weeks when we came to the conclusion that he and I were seriously just meant to be friends. After I came back for my very first summer break from college, we almost had sex. Thankfully, I told him I wasn’t ready and he was very comprehensive.
After that, I dated this guy for a couple of weeks and he convinced me to have my first time with him. Sometimes I wish I had waited, so that I could’ve given my v-card to my now boyfriend, future husband (but not yet fiance…), but I don’t regret it so much because I learned that I would never again be convinced into doing something I didn’t want to.
As for the average age, I’d like to say 17, but I’m thinking it’s more or less around 14-15.

Wow, sorry…. /rant

Yeh I don’t think theres a “normal” age. I was also 17, & but i also think 13 is way too young. But I know all the younger generation is loosing it way sooner & know way to much about EVERYTHING. 

The legal age in my state is 16, so it’s illegal if you do it before then. So i’d say that’s not normal.

Yeah, kids are starting to be more sexual younger.  It seriously worries me.  But I don’t think there’s a “normal”.  If I had to guess the average, I’d guess 15ish, which is way too young.
I’m 20 (almost 20.5) & I’m still a virgin… but I also think there’s something wrong with me ’cause I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, kissed a boy, or been on a real date.
^ I’m okay with that, but I think my situation shouldn’t be counted in statistics, haha.

There is no normal. But I guess anything before 15 is…somehow not right. At 14 and younger, 99.99% of kids are completely clueless doofuses. They THINK they know, but they know shit.

@QuantumStorm@xanga - Send ‘em to me. I can help take that worry away ;D

I think the age that you feel “ready” is it. People always put a number beside things because it makes them feel better. In some cases.

To each their own.

I was 18.

There is no right age, however, in my opinion, I don’t think high schoolers should be having sex. I had no sex in high school. I lost my virginity my second semester of college. I personally think you should wait ’til you’re emotionally and physically ready, and only sleep with someone when you’re using protection and you’ve discussed what you’d do if you did get pregnant, and if the person you’re sleeping with isn’t a virgin also, make sure they’ve been tested for STD’s. This is common knowledge yet people seem to just let all this slide. I don’t think high schoolers or god forbid middle schoolers are emotionally mature enough to handle sex. Not saying I was either when I lost lost my virginity (I was 17 and technically supposed to be a senior in High School) but college tends to grow you up a bit. Just do your research, be safe, and god, if you’re 13, worry about getting through 8th grade before you start jumping on some random guy’s dick. You’re not gonna date him long term or marry him, I promise, and you’re not in love with him.

I am twenty. My first kiss was at 17, my second kiss at 19, and here I am 20 years old and still a virgin. Planning to say a virgin until marriage!

I was 18, a month away from being 19. I lost it to my first love so that is good. I waited til I had someone I loved.  I think that is important in deciding who is your first.
Yesterday when I was at the movies, I saw a couple who looked to be barely 15 and they were waaaay too close in my opinion. Snuggling and making out. Though I made out with a guy at the movies when I was 14 so who am I to talk. But I wasn’t having sex and these two seemed way too comfy like they have been having sex already.  Though maybe they hadn’t had sex yet, how would I know? But I’d bet my savings on it. Lol.
I have a 13 nearly 14 year old niece and can’t imagine her wanting sex at that age. I hope she waits til she is 18 or something lol.
But I think people should have sex when they are comfortable with it and want it. When they are mature about sex and are SAFE when doing it. Safe as in condoms, birth control, and not banging everything that moves.
When someone is ready for this responsibility, then go right ahead.

Girls are having sex way too young…I totally agree. I’m 15…going to be a sophmore…and I can proudly say right now I still have my V-Card. Girls in my grade…and quite a few below…are losing their virginity so fast, and going through more boys than I can count…

This is my outlook on it…If you had $500 dollars to spend on anything you wanted, would you give all the money to your boyfriend? Most definitely not…would you give him even half? No…Would you give him any at all? Probably not…

Then why would you give up your body so easily?

I mean…It IS different for everyone…but honestly? I don’t think any girl is ready at 13…

One shot; One man…. Go for the guy willing to make (& maintain) the investment (pssst, your husband)

@QuantumStorm@xanga - Somehow I managed to ignore my homework and boys @ that age.

@bakersdozen2@xanga - Well, avoiding boys is easy for me. Homework, however, is harder… and gameboys are the hardest to avoid at all.

i was 19, and i am very glad i waited and do not regret it.

I was 15…
I don’t know if there is a normal age because everyone is different. I’ve only been in a physical relationship with one person (that first guy). I had a relationship with him for 5 years in all, so… it wasn’t like a one-time thing and I just wanted to do it. I loved him.

I wish I had waited, though. Not because I regret having sex in general… but I know I wouldn’t have went through that much emotional hurt like I did (when things ended).

Haha I was a pretty late bloomer too. I most definitely didn’t think about guys when I was 13, and I also think I still played with Barbies occasionally. XD
And I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 18! lol

I lost it when I was 17. I just waited until I was comfortable with myself and the guy I was seeing. No regrets! Honestly, virginity is an overrated social construct.

Given historical accounts and the history of law, I think the average age one loses their virginity has rather certainly increased. Maybe in the short term, like the last few decades etc, it has decreased, but I certainly know a lot of young mothers going back generations, so that would suggest not.

the age you lose your virginity (within reason) has no bearing over your innocence. I kissed a boy for the first time when I was 16 and gave him a blowjob the same night. I don’t consider myself innocent for holding out until 16. I lost my virginity when I was 18, after having done “everything but” with about 10 guys. Not innocent. Just a choice for who I want to have sex with and who I don’t want to have sex with.

A lot of girls don’t attach their “innocence” to their virginity, which is fair enough. That doesn’t mean I think 13 year olds, boys and girls, should actually be sexually active, though. Anyway, I’m 19 and a virgin and definitely don’t see myself having sex at all until I’m married. Or at least engaged

wow 13 or 14 or even 15? waaaaaay too young to be thinking about that stuff. I don’t know if there is a normal age, but I think people should wait until at least 18-19 so you can give more mature thoughts about it. 

@Look_Alive_Sunshine@xanga - there is a legal age to have sex?? Really?

I think an had an exception to the norm experience.

I lost mine to a guy I met my senior year of high school, only it was during the summer after we graduated.

We were at a party and well, you know how those stories go. Crazy thing is, we made a relationship out of it and we’re about to celebrate our 1 year together next week.

Funny how things work out, and I don’t regret a moment of it.

I can only pray that after people experience high school, they mature and understand that there’s more to sex than being physical, and waiting doesn’t make you “uncool”, and never have sex with someone just so that they’d stay around long. Those are the worst stories =/

I don’t think there is a set age where you do anything. I don’t think there is a normal age for anything really. I agree with a lot of people here. I think the maturity of the people involved are important and the understanding of the consequences of what sex can bring to both parties. 

I lost mine only when I was 20, to the only guy that I knew I would give it to- my bf.

I’m just surprised that people are so worried about sex and virginity of any of that so much these days. We certainly live in a age of oversexed people. Too much of anything is bad.

I waited until I knew I was absolutely ready, which happened to be 18. I don’t regret it at all. I’m glad I didn’t jump into having sex too soon.

I had my first kiss when I was 16, lost my virginity a month later. No regrets, as I’m still with the same guy three years later, but I know how lucky I am for that.

But yeah, 16 to 17 or even now is fine for me. At 19, I even still feel like I’m not ready because of the risk of being pregnant. I rarely ever do it, but I have no problem with it.

i agree with you. i wished i had waited longer. 

I lost my virginity at 12, there is no normal age to lose virginity. We all mature & grow at different rates. I don’t regret my choice but then again virginity was never really a big deal to me.

Well.. I lost mine at 16 and had my first kiss with the same guy as well, and I’m still with him a year and 2 months later and I’m the happiest I could ever be with anyone for sure! it’s just if you’re happy and if you found “the one.”

i didn’t even have my first kiss till i was 17, and didn’t have sex till i was mere weeks away from 20. 

it sickens me to see tweens and teens talking about sex as if they’d bounced out of he carrie diaries. it just looks wrong and it makes me want to shake them for throwing their innocence away. 

@merquryd@xanga - ”  Sex needs more thought than just  “omg I luv him I want to be with him 4eva!!!111!!!” ” LOL THANK YOU
I agree 100% with what you are saying about the responsibility involved and actually thinking like an adult instead of just fooling around

@FlowerChild94@xanga - Age of Consent. Google it. 

I was with you up until you said that girls shouldn’t wait for marriage because they’d have no idea what they like, or what they look for in a partner…and that their wedding night will be painful and depressing?!?! WTF? There ARE married couples out there who chose to wait and they are happily married. There seems to be this idea that you can’t possibly choose to spend your life with someone until you’ve slept with them, and while it may be true for some, it’s not true for all.

I’m 22 and have never had sexual intercourse, though I’ve gotten pretty far once. But the only reason I got that far was because I knew that he and I had a great emotional and spiritual connection, and just from the first time we kissed I knew that our sexual chemistry would be amazing. I didn’t have to go all the way to confirm that. If having sex helps people figure out what they’re looking for in a partner, why are there still some people who have had plenty of past partners and still haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right?

That being said, I agree that there is no “normal” age. I have my own ideas of what’s considered too young, but those are MY ideas and other girls may feel differently.

Blerg. I was 18 when I ‘lost’ mine, and am now married to him, 7 years later.

I didn’t have my first kiss til I was 15, and knew little to nothing about the workings of sex even then..
I had the opportunity to lose my virginity when I was 16 to the bf of the time, but THANKFULLY did not partake in that with him – it would have been even more heartbreaking than it turned out.

I have friends who lost their virginity’s when they were 11-13 yo’s.  As far as I know, every one of those girls regretted their decisions and wished they’d waited til they were more mature and in a committed relationship. That would be my request to my teenage daughter one day – to wait til they are mature enough to understand the consequences of what they are doing, and are with someone they can see themselves settling down with, who they trust and who they can deal with the consequences with.  Don’t think I can wish for much more than that. 

I remember my Religious Ed teacher in highschool saying something along the lines of “When you have sex with someone, you leave a part of yourself with that person.. you mightn’t think you have, but a part of you remains gone to that person and you can’t get it back” which I think holds alot of truth.
(I also find myself wondering how many people the potential sex-partner had had sex with before me.. yuck! but that’s a different topic).

there is no normal age because people are in different situations….i started dating my bf when we were 14 and we are still together to this day (were both 20). Many people probably expected me to lose it when i was 15 because we had already been dating over a year but i made him wait for 2 years until i was 16 because i still felt too young and not mature enough. 

17 years, 144 days, and 7 hours old. Dumb question. “There’s no such thing as a stupid question!” — yes there is. When you’re ready. That’s when it’s normal.

I don’t know if there is a normal but I cringe at the thought of anyone under 17 doing anything sexual.

I lost mine at an age not far from your first kiss :\

I was 15 when I lost my virginity, a month before I turned 16. I didn’t regret it then, and I don’t know, but when I look back I do realise just how young I was. I was with someone I loved, and we were together for two and a half years, so it worked out okay. What makes me sad, is the number of people I have slept with since. And this is why I think being a little older is better. It’s not the same for everyone, but the people I have slept with have become less and less special to me after the first one. Sex hasn’t lost it’s meaning to me, it still means a lot, but now that I’ve given “it” (that first time) away, I seem to care less and less about who comes after. Which, in my opinion is the wrong attitude for me to have. So maybe waiting until I was 17 or 18 would have been better, or maybe I would have given it away to someone less special, and then slept with more people. Who knows? All I know is, that there is no normal age. My sister is 23 this year, and she hasn’t even kissed anyone let alone slept with anyone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I admire her because a year or so ago a boy who didn’t really care about her offered her sex, saying it was “fun”. I’m glad she didn’t pursue anything with him, because it wouldn’t have been right. When in doubt, wait.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen year olds should be out being kids and teenagers. Now that I’m twenty I do wish that I hadn’t rushed to grow up so much, in all aspects of life really.

I’m 26, still a virgin, and I’m waiting to share my sex with my future wife. It’s not a religious thing, it’s not a parent thing it’s a ME thing! If God blesses me with a wife whose a virgin, so be it, if God blesses me with a wife that’s not a virgin, so be it.

I had sex when I was 15. I don’t really regret the action itself, but maybe the person I chose. It was just unfortunate timing because I met my now SO about a month after I decided to lose my virginity to the other guy. If I had only waited a few weeks, I would have only been with the one person and it would feel a little more “special,” like I guess a lot of people want it to be. 

I hate when people are all surprised and tease those who are virgins past high school. I think every person can choose for themselves when they are “ready” or want to have sex. And maybe this sounds horrible, but I think if you have decent parents, you’ll have been educated about sex and you should be able to make an informed choice yourself. I know a lot of 13 or 14 year olds who are pretty smart and mature for their age and if they wanted to have sex, I think they could do it safely. That doesn’t mean they SHOULD or HAVE TO, but I mean .. once someone does it, you can think they’re stupid and lost their innocence and whatever else.. doesn’t change the fact they’ve had sex. 

i lost mine at 19, but i think 17-18 should be the minimum. all the people i know who lost it earlier regretted it and either ended up slutty or pregnant. not that EVERYONE who loses it earlier ends up that way or NO ONE who waits ends up that way, simply my own experience.

most (not all) people start to mature on a different level around 17 or 18 and are beginning to be ready for the challenges of a sexual relationship. i personally wasn’t ready until i was 19, but i also didn’t find someone i was comfortable with until then.

I totally agree with this, other than not waiting until marriage because the wedding night will be painful and depressing. Sex doesn’t HAVE to hurt the first time. I had no pain and no bleeding, but we eased into it and made sure my body was ready beforehand. I was also 21 at the time, just for the record.

no such thing as a normal age

people are just not paying close enough attention to their children, for anyone to be having sex before at LEAST 16. is just absurd. I had my first kiss at 14, and i didn’t even start doing more than that until i was 16, even then i wasn’t doing much. Then i slowly started doing more with my boyfriend now at 17. And then eventually I lost my virginity basically 18 years old. But it was with the guy i love and believe is the one and 2 years later we’re still together.

I had my first kiss at 13, and lost my virginity at 18. I guess I’m probably the average girl… 

there isn’t a “normal age.” granted, age has been changing to early-teens instead of mid-late, generations will change it constantly, due to media and friend/family influences.

I think 17-19 is normal.

whaddup with the girl’s legs in that pic?

anyway… i lost mine my first semester of college… one-night stand (i was sober, don’t worry about that) but i still regret it, mostly because it was a one-night stand and i didn’t wait for “the right one” i just did it to get it over with. kind of acted out of rebellion.

I’ll be honest, I’m 16 but am one of the youngest kids in my grade. I’ve been in love once before with a guy i started dating at 14. I’m dating a different guy who’s 17 and I’m 16 and we were each others firsts. i see nothing wrong with this age. With 14 or 13, I do. 

Lost it on my 17th birthday. I regret having it with that person too…

A 21 year old guy and still waiting. Turned down 2 girls too because they weren’t right for me. 

I do believe more and more girls are losing it earlier in life, which is a shame in my opinion. I do think it’s kinda odd to say what is “normal” and what isn’t, however. I think what is normal can and will change with each passing generation.  After all, it was “normal” in our history for girls to be mothers at 13 or 14 right? Or in the 70s (my mom’s teenage years) it was “normal” for all girls to get married in their late teens.  Nowadays, normality is very different.  If I dared to say anything is normal, it would be virginity being lost sometime within the teenage years (14 to 18), generally speaking. 

As for me, I’m 29 and still a virgin as in, no intercourse.  That’s likely very abnormal and I’m cool with it. I’ve dabbled in other affections that were trying and tempting, moments where my mind would be “geeze, let’s just have sex please!,” but there’s still that too strong desire to be married before going all the way. Sucks of course, but it’s something I want too badly to let go to just anyone.

I agree that it’s different for everyone.  I’m 18, have never had a real first kiss yet and can’t even imagine having sex with anyone right now.  I’ve never been in love and I’ve never been really invested in a relationship.  I think that the right time is different for everyone.

@maulindy@xanga - If you’re not having intercourse but you’re engaging in oral sex, you’re not a virgin. Oral sex is sex. Just saying.

I was almost 20 when I had sex with my first boyfriend after 8 months of dating. He was the first person I’d had oral sex with as well, which I guess is pretty unique considering a lot of people on here seem to have started having sex when they were 16.

I never thought of virginity as being very important, I never thought of it as a moral issue, I just never dated in high school because I liked being alone and when I finally did have sex I wasn’t in love with my boyfriend. I just trusted him and we were good friends.I don’t regret it at all and I didn’t regret it at the time. We’re still friends. 

My friends used to make fun of me in high school for never having sex but other than that I didn’t really care about it. I never make fun of anyone calling them slutty or anything either because quite frankly I think sex is something that’s very personal and isn’t really anyone else’s business. At this point I’ve slept with 10 people which is kind of a high number especially considering I waited so long to start, but to me it seems totally normal…I was testing the waters, and I was careful.

It truly sickens me to think about how young some girls are having sex and getting pregnant.  I didn’t even have my first kiss till I was 15 and trust me I am not lacking anything as a human being or lacking anything in the sexual experience department by protecting my virginity.  My daughter is 8 and I hope to God I am raising her right with the knowledge and self control to not be a whore at a young age.

I was 18, IN COLLEGE. and I felt like that was the perfect age for me.. could be different for other people, but I’m glad I waited that long.

I lost my virginity at 13, and I don’t regret it a bit. At the time we had only been together for a few months and I admit, I mostly did it to keep him appeased…but we ended up staying together for over two years, and I ended up really loving him. Albeit, we did have a rather nasty falling apart, but still, I can say I lost it to someone I loved even though I was so young, and I’ll never regret it. I don’t think there is a right age. If you love someone, and are ready to share yourself fully, then go for it (in my opinion). 

@thisiswhereItellyoueverything@xanga - Um…no. Intercourse involves a penis penetrating a vagina, and the fact that I haven’t had one inside of me makes me a virgin.  Oral sex isn’t truly sex, not in my opinion. If a woman wants to be considered non-virgins by having oral sex, that’s on them.  As for me, I take no part in oral sex and am actually kinda sickened by it. Not my thing.  So yes, I am a virgin.     

I agree with the “There is no normal…” Though it just seems weird at ages like 13, 14, 15…
Had my first kiss and lost virginity in the same year, at 18… and I still feel like I could have waited on the latter.. but whatever.. regret nothing

@maulindy@xanga - So you’re almost thirty and you don’t like oral sex at all, and you’ve never had intercourse, because you’re planning on saving it for marriage. If you don’t like oral sex and you’ve never experienced intercourse – how do you know you’ll like that? What if you get married and decide that sex just isn’t for you? That would be a huge hurdle for you and your husband.

Also oral sex is definitely sex. It’s a different style, to be sure, but if you feel like you’re still a “virgin” even though you’ve had oral sex, that seems seriously misguided. Like someone who smokes a pack of cigarettes on the weekends but not during the week so they consider themselves a non-smoker. 

Think about it: A virgin who has never experienced anything sexual, other than perhaps kissing. 

Now: A virgin who has had oral sex with five different dudes.

Really? That’s a “virgin”? Uh, no. Just because she hasn’t experienced intercourse doesn’t make her innocent/pure.

I think I lost my virginity quite early, at 15, but I don’t regret it because I really did feel completely comfortable with the guy I lost my virginity to. We hadn’t been together long, about 6 months but we stayed together for a little over 3 years. I think age doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy with who you lost it to, as long as you don’t regret it.

I lost my innocence long before I lost my virginity. It was innocent, I knew what to expect and I knew what to do, I also didn’t lose it to a virgin. I was 15, wasn’t in love. I think I was ready to have sex, I just didn’t pick the right person.

I lost my virginity at 13, to a good friend of mine. He didnt pressure me, be rude to me, or in anyway treat me bad. He was probably the best possible person to lose my virginity to. I was ready. Alot of people cant see how someone at thirteen could be ready, but i was. I wouldnt even choose to go back and give it to my now husband. We were all in the same group of friends. Normal? Appropriate? Eh, Everyone is different so its hard to tell. 

If you cannot pass your damn Pre-Calculus class, then you shouldn’t even be worried about sex. Try harnessing all that energy “trying to get laid” into your school work. It’s getting pretty ridiculous, I’m 18 and sex is the least of my worries. Maybe I’m just a troll. *shrug*

Wow, “I had my first kiss when I was 14. I went through 3 boyfriends before I
found the right one, and knew I was ready. I was 17, and I was in love.
That sounds horribly corny, but it’s very true. I don’t regret my
decision.” exactly describes my life too.

@thisiswhereItellyoueverything@xanga - For the record, we’ll never be in agreement, so this is a debate of opinion that neither one of us will abandon or win.  But anyway…yes, almost 30, no intercourse, no oral sex.  Never did I say being a virgin automatically translates to being innocent and pure, even though I don’t find that disagreeable.  Because in that sense, no, I’m not a virgin. Since I’ve felt sexual and desired sex. Sure, that doesn’t make me as “pure” anymore, but does that make me a non-virgin?  Perhaps to you, or other people out there, it does. And that’s understandable.  But to me, feeling sexually aroused, while risky, is not what strips me of my virginity.  Being turned on or wanting to have sex does not mean I’m not a virgin.  I suppose I still look at virginity as no penile/vaginal intercourse, in its rawest form, neverminding how society has changed it to be.

As far as how I’ll know if I’ll like sex, um, I find it highly, HIGHLY unlikely that I won’t.  Just because I haven’t had sex and don’t plan to until I’m married doesn’t mean that I won’t like it as much as those who preferred to share it with men before marrying them.  The only “downside” to waiting (at least to those out there who are opposed to waiting) will be lack of experience.  But personally, the experience is still something I don’t want to cheapen.  I want to be able give to the man I choose to be with forever (aka my husband) the satisfaction of knowing that no other man has known me in the way that he and I will know.  Maybe some men don’t care about that, and they’d rather have a sexual genius in bed, and that’s their right.  But not all men are like that, and some may actually love the idea of being with a woman who hasn’t had sex.  Besides, I am SHARPLY opposed to experimenting with other people before getting married.  Just to make sure I like it? Really?  Sex is far more meaningful to me than just a physical expression of affection.  When there’s real love, it surpasses everything if the two involved have the same idea about love. Yeah it’s corny and idealistic and I’m okay with that.  That may work for others, but not for me.  If I have a husband, that to me means he is my choice of love, far superior above any other man.  Personally, I don’t see how I could not like sex with a man I am in love with and who is equally in love with me.  Sex would be more than just sex in that case.  

As far as oral sex being definitely sex, okay.  That’s irrelevant to me since I don’t participate in that anyway and it makes no difference to me.  All I ever have is my own opinion of it, and I never really defined oral sex as being sex in the rawest form, which to me is genitals meeting genitals.  But obviously oral is all mouth and genitals and that’s kinda….just weird to me.  But if people want to call oral sex sex then that’s cool. No matter. Still not my thing anyway.   

In conclusion, I presented this scenario to a 3rd party before submitting this reply, one whose opinion I highly trust and respect, and he claims that we are both right and also both wrong.  He broke it down to such detail that I’d be putting him to shame if I try to quote him.  In my own words, it just gets fuzzy when the actual definition of a virgin comes into play.  In short, you say a person without sexual encounters of any kind is more a virgin than a person who has oral sex.  I say both are virgins, but in the physical sense.  I think in a way we both do sort of agree, though, since I guess if a person experiences everything sexual under the sun EXCEPT intercourse their virginity is a little less existent.  Oral sex may not be intercourse, but the act itself is still deeply intimate and sexual, so in one sense, a virgin state of mind is no longer existent.  Makes sense. Still, I can’t quite shake the idea of virginity being MORE of one thing over another.  Gah. Oh well.

I think normal is whenever the person is ready. It changes for everyone. My first kiss was 5 days before my sixteenth birthday, and for the v-card, it was nearing the end of my senior year. My boyfriend and I had been together for a little less than a year, and I knew he loved me. I still know that he loves me. I was ready. He was a virgin, too, and he was ready. It was the right person at the right time. That is when it is normal.

i was 16 and i think after 19 and before 15 is weird…before 15 you just do it to prove something to your friends, and after 19,let’s be honest you’re going to feel weird.also the marriage thing i never got it.so you never had sex in your life and you force yourself to experience it with the single person you can’t walk away from.you’ll be doing it with this person for the rest of your life,don’t you want to know if you’re going to like it?if there’s something better?to me it’s like marrying a guy i’ve never talked to.sex reveals so much about your so.

i don’t have to say much about underaged sex,i think it’s pretty obvious one can have tragic experiences from a guy/girl being douche-bag/whore.

There’s definitely no ‘normal’ age. As long as you understand the consequences, you aren’t under pressure, you’re safe and most importantly you feel ready and comfortable with that person, it’s smooth sailing. I don’t regret my first time, but I knew I should have put it off longer.

My best friend has different views than me, she’s 21 and hasn’t given up her v-card yet which is something I admire so much, but I can’t help but feel like she’s missing out! She says her life is a lot simpler without having sex but I think if I didn’t have a healthy sexual outlet I would be a little bent out of shape.

To each their own, ladies!

THATS RIGHT!  you said it girl! theres no “normal” age- that just puts pressure on girls and boys to engage in something very risky because when you rush into it you don’t often think about the consequences.

Maybe I could say that it happen when you’re ready but it’s obviously when a girl is 13 she’s not!I think if you feel insecure and with a lot of questions about it when you are 17-18..what happen at 13?teens don’t have a real idea about what have sex means!!Parents,teachers and all society should do something about it because kids are living fast and enjoying less.

@MC_Shann@xanga - Agreed. Your comment is great.

I waited until I got married, which was two weeks ago. I wouldn’t want to give that to anyone else other than my husband. 

It’s just doing something for the first time. so what? nothing special.

“Normal” is whatever is right for you, whether it is 13 or 47.

Your virginity is something you should be serious about. I, myself lost mine when I was 11. I thought that was what I wanted, I hadn’t regretted it, but now that I’m older I wonder what it would be like if I was still a virgin. Once you loose it you can’t get it back. Most of the time, when you loose your virginity to someone you are emotionally attached to that person. It is very hard to get unattached, they can lead  you to do crazy things. Also, if you think your “ready” make sure you are able to support a baby;o sad but true. I know you think that its just one time, we’ll use protection, blahblahblah. I hated those talks as a child. But once your the one peeing on a stick wondering what your going to do with a baby, then your gonna regret having sex. It’s a terrible feeling, thank god I never had a baby, I was pregnant before, but had a miscarage. I was lucky. Just be carfull, and don’t become someone like me. 

although there is an age average , i dont think there is a “normal ” time for loosing your virginity. its more about how mature you are , if your mature to understand sex and the consequences that come with it.

i was 14 when i lost it , to my boyfriend of 3 years. i dont regret it but i am shamed when people ask or when i have to tell. of course i am not with him anymore but i did at the time of course thought he was “the one ” obviously he wasnt , despite that we didnt stay together i do care for him still and we still are friends. i also was informed about sex around the age of 11 or 12 not that it was on my mind at the tim but i did know a bit about it. now my freshman year of high school , i had this math tutor who always helped me and my friend out , not just necessarily with math problems , but with the things about life. he didnt stop us from duing it (my friend decied to stay a virgin till marriage which i respect] just told us the consequence that came with sex and if we did do so , to be safe (which i was and still am] .also of course could just search it up on the internet of anything i wanted to know , i had the sex talk with my parents ( after i had sex but they didnt know lol] and personal experiences from friends ( ages 13 – 23] so i was pretty informed and thought i was ready . just my experience and my opinion

I agree with some people that said that its not about age, but about maturity. I know a lot of teenagers that have had to grow up before their time, and therefore have acquired certain type of adulthood maturity. Living away from their parents since they were 14, taking college classes since they were 15 and having some types of goal set for your future makes anyone mature beforehand. Maybe some people haven’t found the person to lose their virginity with at 25 (note the ´person´ part. not ´perfect person´. there is no perfect person.) and other people found at 16. Its different for everyone. There is no perfect age. But im sure that that person who pressures you to lose your virginity with, its nowhere near perfect, and you’ll probably regret it. Im 16 years old, still a virgin, and i believe in sex before marriage. There is nothing wrong with having sex. Just dont be stupid choosing the wrong person and use protection. 

I think any age before 16 is too young to be doing this, they can say they were ready, in love, and ¨mature¨ but to be honest at 14 you dont really know what the hell love is, and you´re obviously not mature enough cause you´re doing something without even knowing half the concecuences at the time.