So I’ve recently been perusing through Lovelyish (after a long hiatus) and I’ve suddenly remembered why I stopped looking at this site: all of the body image and weight debates! I am so sick of seeing essentially the same three arguments…
1. Someone says someone in a photo is fat (usually a celebrity), which is immediately followed by someone someone defending them, and then there’s usually a back and forth between someone defending non-stick thin, “heavier”, “curvy” women and someone saying that “fat” girls are lazy and need to lose weight
2. Someone talks about how thin someone else looks, which is usually backed up by people saying how gross that is, and then a similar back and forth (see above) occurs, except reverse.
3. Someone talks about how it’s awesome to be “curvy” and how we should all “love our bodies” and then someone else comments about how that’s discriminating against thin people, yada yada yada.
I propose that we just stop talking about body image for a bit. Let’s say a week. There is no winning the above three arguments. People are going to get offended and get up on their soapbox about one side or the other no matter how convincing an argument anyone makes. Let’s just avoid the unhappy feelings and the pointless arguments and talk about something else that has to do with beauty besides weight! However, I would like to end with these points, now that I have just completed my Masters in Dietetics and Nutrition.
A BMI of 25-30 is considered overweight.
A BMI of 30-35 up is considered obesity.
A BMI of 35 or up is considered morbid obesity.
These three conditions are associated with many negative health implications (hypertension hyperlipidemia, diabetes, etc) and weight loss should be considered if you fall into these categories. Go see your doctor and talk about your health and your options.
If you would like to lose weight/maintain weight, the plan that works the best is a combination of diet change, exercise, and behavioral therapy (though prevention is still the best “option”). This is going to be a lifestyle change and it is difficult, especially in this day and age. 68% of Americans are obese or overweight, so it’s common. However, this is one case in which it is not okay to be the norm. It’s your body, and your health should be more important than your perception of your body or other people’s perception of your body.
On the other hand, a BMI of 18.5 or less is considered underweight. People who are underweight should make sure than they consume the proper amount of nutrients to promote brain/body function. Also, keep in mind that once you lose ~50% of your normal muscle mass (which happens with anorexia), you basically die because you can no longer breath.
There’s no point trying to argue with each other about what looks best. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Just be healthy.
Lovelies, what do you think about my proposition? Do you agree or disagree?
sunflower / 416 posts
THANK YOU. AGREED. I’m tired of it too. The arguments never change.
daffodil / 1525 posts
Marvelous post! Though if Lovelyish doesn’t post pictures that are gonna provoke “that celebrity is fat/awful/too skinny”, where will half the posts go?! Critiquing peoples’ body image is a LARGE part of the posts and comments on Lovelyish, are we just supposed to comment “oh so and so looks so WONDERFUL AND HEALTHY” about everything?
dahlia / 2382 posts
I love the writer of this post!! <3 go girl!
lily / 5148 posts
I agree. No one will ever be happy but it’s great for us to figure what is the better, healthier versions of ourselves instead of pointlessly arguing to nowhere.
ranunculus / 3285 posts
Oh noes, what will Lovelyish post now?
guest
Exactly. People are just incapable of saying what they want to say, without putting other people down.
guest
Haha, this post. lol. this post.
BMI is bullshit. what if all my weight is muscle? what if someone weighs less than me but has higher blood pressure/cholesterol/what have you?
ugh
just shut up. you wasted your time on your masters lolol
guest
BMI is only guidelines and is sometimes off… for a more accurate health guess you would have to use BMI as well as Waist to Hip Ratio… If you are going to only go by BMI And you end up in the over weight don’t panic… Talk to your Dr. or primary care provider first.
guest
blood tests are more accurate of health.
post some hot men wearing sexy clothes for me to praise
tyson beckford and pharrell for example.
daffodil / 1601 posts
BMI is bullshit and probably causes more issues with body image than it does solve them. The measurement is primitive and needs to be removed from any serious discussion of a person’s health.
Numbers to consider are body fat %, waist-to-hip, and frame.
*Gets off soapbox*
guest
Thank you so much. Although the BMI index isn’t always accurate, as some commenters pointed out, the point of this post is what matters. Being healthy is number one, no matter what your body looks like.
guest
@Murphy_Rants@xanga - true dat
daisy / 599 posts
I agree with your proposal here and I see what you are saying, but I don’t agree that the level of health can be determined by BMI standards. I’ve always been underweight and my current BMI is a 17.4 which is the highest it has ever been. I can promise you that I get my daily need of necessary nutrients and my health does not suffer from being what is considered underweight. Same goes for many people who are overweight.
That aside, Lovelyish readers have opinions on what “looks good” or “seems healthy” and it’s all over the damn place. I swear it doesn’t matter which celebs get posted up for review, one of us will think they are too thin, another will think they look perfect, and then another will think that same person could lose a few pounds. It’s really crazy how our ideas of a good body differ so greatly. But no matter what your view is, I always try keep to criticism *constructive* and avoid body policing language out of the equation, meaning words like “sickly” and “gross” are completely unacceptable no matter what.
guest
BMI is bullshit.
Also, I like turtles.
guest
While I don’t agree that the BMI is a good indicator of a person’s health because of all the factors it doesn’t take in account, I do agree with many of the points you made. I do think that obesity is far too common and not just in the United States. People should strive to be healthy. There is a difference between accepting yourself and embracing your body while you are making changes to be more healthy and being complacent and doing nothing despite the fact you are unhealthy. People shouldn’t be limited to accepting and loving their body until they reach their weight loss goals.
As for banning post about weight and body acceptance I don’t agree with that. The fact that people disagree is what makes Lovelyish interesting. If every post was just “she looks cute”. People would stop posting. I do think people should take the time to make their point without being insulting, but I really do not see that happening.
guest
I think my BMI is 32. I guess I’m obese
guest
“There’s no point trying to argue with each other about what looks best.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Just be healthy.”
THANK YOU! I am so tired of this argument too! I agree that you should just be healthy.
BMI is a good approximation, but I think that’s all it is. Just an approximation.
guest
I second the doubts about BMI. I was called healthy my doctor when I was technically “overweight” by BMI standards, because I worked out all the time and had muscle mass. I think it can be a helpful guideline at times, but it’s far from foolproof.
guest
I agree with many of the posts above. Additionally, I apologize in advance but mainstream Nutritionists piss me off quite a bit. It’s not BMI that matters – it’s body fat percentage and waist to hip ratio or waist measurement. However, it’s a decent-ish guide for anorexic patients – real anorexic patients (not people who are naturally skinny or suffer from hypothyroidism). Still the above methods should be taken into account for them as well. Not having enough body fat is just as dangerous as having too much.
Also, I don’t read the body image ones often. Or comment. People are quickly offended. If I’m offended, I really don’t want to comment because drama is absolutely ridiculous.
guest
Just be healthy – good one. Not being sarcastic. I say that all the time lol, and I think that for people who are not afflicted with eating disorders, it’s a basic rule of thumb. Eat right, get out there and exercise – my fiance and I have broken out the bikes for summer! – and try to avoid sedentary activities for long periods of time.
ED’s bring up a whole ‘nother topic, though. It’s very different
guest
I disagree, why ban it? It’s not going to make people realize that we shouldn’t bash someone else’s body and it’s not going to make anyone realize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Banning the posts are going to make lovelyish boring.
guest
<3
rose / 980 posts
I think you should have focused more on underweight BMIs.
guest
meh…BMI has its flaws, but it’s pretty helpful. For example, if you have a BMI of 35 or higher, obviously you’re not that healthy. If you’re in the healthy range or close to it, then no need to worry. It’s just a guideline.
guest
Yes. Please stop those posts. If anything, talk about issues that will inspire people to live healthier. ex: “How to get in more fruits and veggies” or “My favorite glutes workout.” (relatively unimpressive/creative I know, couldn’t think of anything else at the moment haha)
guest
Hey guys, please note that she didn’t say “If your BMI falls into any of these three categories, lose weight.” She said DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR DOCTOR. If your weight comes from muscle, your doctor will reassure you of a clean bill of health.
guest
Wellll talking about body image and weight is a bit boring. Just accept everyone looks different and everyone should try to be healthy…but thats boring too. tbh it’s probably more fun to bitch.
guest
LOL. My BMI is 25… It’s all muscle. I’m not even close to overweight, like according to actual society standards.
But yeahhhh, Body image posts are dumb. Lets end them.
guest
i definitely agree but for a week? i doubt it
guest
SERIOUSLY! I hate Lovelyish posts. They’re so annoying. Everyone has different opinions and likes and dislikes. BUT I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ANY OF THEM. Dear Lovelyish, please stop posting those awful entries. Thank you.
guest
I just wish people could love themselves without having to put down another body type/person. I’ll agree with the other commenters that BMI is only sometimes accurate…
daisy / 522 posts
Though I get irritated by these kind of posts– I have to disagree– freedom of speech it’s just a blog. People are always going to hate on blogs, in newspaper, in magazines, in person, etc. Banning it isn’t stopping the deeper issue of ‘hate’. Let it be. It’s reality. If you don’t like the posts on Lovelyish you can just not read it. Simple as that.
guest
As someone who is diabetic, & seems to constantly be underweight & losing no matter how hard I work for otherwise, I say DISAGREE!!!
You, and anyone else, can post/comment whatever they want. You don’t like it? Don’t read it, or leave. We lose nothing in either action.
guest
Maybe I’m just having a bad day, but I laughed at the BMI crap and how it says “go see your doctor” and talk about weight loss. Been sick for years gained weight with illness, recently had a doctor CHEW ME OUT for being fat and said it was my only problem despite I have symptoms not associated with being over weight at all, I’ve only been overweight a few years since I got sick, and doctors actually REFUSE to help me BECAUSE I am fat. I hope you realize that. I found it hilarious people think doctors really just help people, because that’s how is should be but unfortunately it’s not always the case. Now it’s a bit of a catch-22… can’t get the tests and answers I need unless I lose weight, and I can’t lose weight until I get some answers and can be treated properly. So pretty much, I’m just fucked. Today, I stopped being able to pass urine. I’ve had issues for years and no one gives a damn because I am fat, and today I had to attempt to cath myself because I was simply dying I had to go so bad. Doctors actually LET this issue get this bad for me, they LET it sit and did NOTHING for this long and now I’m pretty fucked, and I don’t even know if they’re gonna care now, but it’s possible my life is ruined. About half of that is literally because they thought me being fat was my only issue and not a symptom so they flat-out refused to help me. May be a bit out of the way, but reading that bit made me laugh because it’s so ridiculous in the most twisted fucking way. People don’t realize how fucked over you can be in this world JUST for being fat, even when it WASN’T just because you had no self-control or were lazy and even when you don’t have any idea how to get rid of the weight now. You make it sound so easy, but maybe it doesn’t happen OFTEN, but people do get seriously fucked over simply for being fat. Like me. I am miserable, irreparable damage has been done, I’ll likely die without an answer because I am fat. It’s ridiculous. I was a health nut and star athlete before I got sick but no matter for WHAT reason you’re fat, you can still get seriously screwed just for being fat. I’m miserable and dying and doctors are seriously just sort of sitting back and watching it happen while my parents insurance pays them buttloads of cash. And some of them are lazy or stupid, but some of them will flat out make it clear that I’m fat and so I don’t deserve for them to put in effort in or go past that. It shouldn’t be like that.
I don’t know that NOT talking about things helps anything. Sure it starts fights, and crap, but maybe people will learn something. The conversations on lovelyish aren’t incredibly deep ones, or anything, and it is a lot of the same old crap, but the people who get into it will just go somewhere else and do the same thing. Some people do get something out of seeing the views of other people on this sort of thing. And honestly, MOST of the stuff on lovelyish is a little low and scummy. So honestly, if we’re trying to be more mature and not have crap here, the whole site pretty much would need to go, because nothing else is really any better. It’s all pretty tasteless. I don’t exactly like those arguments myself really, even though I probably get caught up in them sometimes because of my own frustration about how far weight discrimination can go, but then, censoring them is a little iffy too. I think to get past a lot of the BS we have to get into it a bit with each other, get in a tangle with someone with opposite views and it can help balance us out. So I don’t think it’s worth doing.
Though, I probably don’t actually care that much what really happens… I mostly come here when I’m REALLY bored, and I have meant to unsub because it can get so negative and dramatic at times, so I guess it can’t get WORSE… so do whatever.
guest
@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - sounds like you need a new doctor.
guest
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Unfortunately, almost every last one in my area has some sort of issue, a lot of them have that one. Those that will take me. Specialists can refuse anyone they want to, and then adult doctors don’t have to take pediatric patients (certain places the age is 19 others it’s 21, makes no damn sense, but I’m about to turn 18, so a year out from having access to a new group of doctors in the area who won’t take me for that reason). Unfortunately, I feel like the healthcare system and doctors in general are just really not equipped to deal with cases that AREN’T textbook cases. Textbook health problems, never had a problem, but now that I have a trickier illness I’m treated like dirt and sort of just left for dead, and this happens to other people who get into this situation sometimes as well. It’d be great if it was as simple as to find a new doctor… don’t think there is even one in the whole city I haven’t been to who will take me and hasn’t either give up or caused me harm in some way. It’s a bit of a waiting game. I live in a big city, so people from around commute HERE for medical care… next good places would be hours, so short of moving or one of my parents quitting their job (which if they did we couldn’t come close to keeping our heads above water anyway) I can’t really go elsewhere for medical care, so right now the best I can do is attempt to make up a new strategy, see if any old doctors have learned some new tricks yet, and just wait it out. Which is difficult. Like the only pediatric endocrinologist in the area to accept me who we spent forever trying to get in with was sure I was just fat, and she walked in knowing that was my only problem. My internist wanted a 24 hour cortisol test but we have to go through an endocrinologist, and because I’m fat she wouldn’t listen to us, she had her mind made up, she offered to test for diabetes which I have none of the symptoms of just because I was fat and then that was it. She seriously wouldn’t listen to anything else we said and would not order the test and she was the only endocrinologist who would see us at all, so we don’t have access to that tool at all even though on some level my internist is willing to work with us. It’s a really crappy system. I would think maybe another doctor could order the test not through a specialist, but even if it’s just a respect thing, no one will budge, so I don’t get that test. That’s how it’s been with A LOT of things unfortunately. =/ It’s quite possible if doctors had seriously just been willing to run the tests asked of them then I would have an answer, but it’s so much more complicated than that, and a lot of them just won’t work with you on some things. And at my age, if it’s a specialist and they were the only one to accept me… tough luck, don’t get the test. Same thing happened with my sleep study. One sleep specialist will take me, but all he does is give me advice about how to sleep better like not to watch TV before bed or anything, and then I follow that stuff and it doesn’t help… but then I saw him for an entire year a few years back and I was referred just for a sleep study that he NEVER did. He never did the sleep study, and he didn’t really even treat me or diagnose me. He just talked to me about sleep. We’re going to have to try with him again, because I really need a sleep study, but the first time it didn’t work, so I don’t feel it will work better this time. So it’s a decent system if you have a really simple problem. If it’s more complex it’s sometimes not so easy. Especially if you get sick young, because there are no pediatric specialists in the area in certain fields and so adult specialists have a real easy excuse there not to see you and it make things very difficult.
guest
I agree. I really, REALLY wish xanga and the -ish sites would stop featuring these kinds of posts!!!!!!!!
guest
You just got your masters in Dietetics, didn’t they teach you that BMI is inaccurate in most cases?
Sure, someone who falls into the overweight category may still be overweight, but maybe more or less severely than indicated by the BMI calculations. Muscle and bone density/frame size play a huge role in weight that is simply ignored when calculating BMI.But yes, I do agree with your idea.
guest
@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - oh geez. i’m sorry. find a new doctor! you should not be denied treatment unless the tests are something they physically cannot do because of your weight.
guest
I AGREE. (: mostly. why stop posting on body image (so long as it’s a positive post)? promoting positive body image is always good. i think all the posts related to bodies/body image/weight should obviously stress health, but health also encompasses a sound mind. fight the mainstream media’s interpretation of how we SHOULD look and instead promote loving a healthy and happy self!
but i have to ask: isn’t the BMI scale pretty unreliable? i could understand how the extremes (18 or less, 30 or more) would indicate an unhealthy person, but otherwise i feel it’s highly subjective.
guest
HOW ABOUT YOU LET PEOPLE POST WHAT THEY WANT.
dipshits.
guest
eloquent. separates everything that i wanted to talk about. love it.
guest
Since you have your masters in dietetics you SHOULD KNOW that the BMI scale is not completely accurate. But I do agree that the weight/self image posts are kinda pointless because it is that back and forth argument.
guest
thank god for this post. we should leave the weight issue behind us.
guest
agreed.
guest
Then you should have never made this post.
guest
Even in the comments these fools on Lovelyish are debating whether or not BMI is accurate, you guys missed the fucking point didn’t you?
The point? Shut up. Talk about something else!
peony / 1 posts
It’s been said, but I guess I’ll just bump the opinion. I like the idea of just be healthy. Be healthy, and if you want to be skinny, do it the right way with exercise and a proper diet suited for you. No lowcarb, high protein or low cholesterol low fat or low, I don’t even know anymore. I turned eighteen this year, and I’m about 5’8 and maintain a good hundred-forty pounds. I gave up trying to impress other people four years ago, because they’re more impressed when you feel like you look good, and it shows. In Florida, land of the bikini and shortshorts, and flipflops almost everyday, it’s hell if you’re constantly worried whether or not you fit into a size four dress.
*insert soapbox*
Size fours, for some people, will not ever happen. Period. Get over it and take your size eight.
I suppose you’ve got a mix of tons of different kinds of people on the net–some on soapboxes, some who are actually annorexic, some who are larger, bigboned, fat, or skinny, or boney, or ‘gross’ or ‘repulsive looking’ and they all have opinions to share.
I think this is a good step, trying to not talk about it, and your post gets that point across, but what will a lot of people gossip about? Where will their entertainment go? I look more at WHAT their wearing than what’s hanging out of what their wearing. Celebrities’ weight isn’t my problem and I could take it eitherway, and I wished that was the majority opinion.
Yes, various aspects about weight discussion are annoying and hurtful/inappropriate, but maybe instead of trying to stop talking about it all together, keep it clean, and don’t insult people, be considerate and so forth? This seems more an essay than a comment, so I’ll wrap it up now XD
guest
Agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.