The saying that I try to live by when it comes to getting another chance is, “three strikes and you’re out!”
Three chances might seem like too many to some people, but I’m a pretty chill girl and I like to try and believe that the next time, that other person will do it right or will follow through. After three chances however, you’ve let me know that I can’t count on you and that’s something that I won’t forget.
I do this with everyone. Friends, family, boys. There are only so many times that a friend can ditch you without letting you know. Or a boy can make plans with you and then not follow through. Everyone has their excuses, but at some point you have to stop giving them another chance. And that’s where the number three comes in. After the third strike, that person is out.
By ‘out’, I mean that I stop trying. If it’s a friend who’s been ditching me, I stop trying to make plans with them. If they want to hang out, they can text me. If it’s a guy who seems to want to go out but is never available, I stop trying to hang out and I stop texting him. If he wants to talk or wants to see me, he knows my number.
This is by no means a perfect system. Some people don’t even deserve a second chance, while others deserve more than three. Sometimes it’s hard for me to follow through, and I’ll try again. It’s in my nature to be understanding, and to want things to work out. But I’ve learned that there are a lot of people who are unreliable, unpredictable, and seemingly uncaring. I prefer to surround myself with people who reciprocate my trust and love, and who show me they care many times over.
What do you guys think?
guest
I ditch my friends all of the time if they’re lame. “Giving people chances” is juvenile and lame. Stop treating them like they’re little kids and maybe they won’t ditch you.
guest
Yeah, I pretty much agree.
hydrangea / 99 posts
I understand 3 chances for friends. Boys, however, hell naw… I’m not the text-people-first type of girl anyways, but if I do try with a guy that shows interests in me and he flakes, I wouldn’t even try a second time. The ball is in his court if he’s worth my time.
sunflower / 432 posts
I used to put up with people’s crap over and over, and I still do sometimes, like with my mother. I need to stop. I’m getting better.
guest
I give people once chance. Two of they’re lucky. If you keep giving people chances, they’ll abuse your friendship and your trust, because they know you’ll just give them more chances.
hydrangea / 98 posts
I’m not good enough at mental record keeping to give any chances at all. I naturally am drawn to those I can depend on and I leave those who aren’t interested to their own devices. There are many degrees of friendship some are close and some are “sometimes” friends. I let everyone fall into the closeness level they’re most comfortable with. I guess I’m too lazy to keep up with the whole counting of chances thing.
guest
I needed to hear this. Thank you
guest
For some people, every chance they need.
guest
Like you alluded to, it depends on the situation. But it’s a good general rule for people who don’t know when to give up.
guest
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I think it’s more then something Juvenile… It’s some one wanting to be treated with respect and if they don’t respect you they obviously aren’t your friend…
I think it’s Juvenile to have “friends” if you don’t like them enough to care how you make them feel.
guest
Boy definitely. My friends, only if it’s a new friend. And I know they aren’t exactly a good person in the first place (but then I’m normally only friends with them through association). My family can have a thousand chances. They are amazing people.
guest
Would you say some one who give’s a person more then 3 chances is a door mat enabler?
guest
@Yes_Heck1123@xanga - I feel the same with Family… With friends it depends on how deep of a friendship I had with them…
guest
Good posting. I agree with that part you said some people don’t even deserve a second chance. Those people who is uncaring and unreliable.
guest
If a ‘friend’ ditched me even once without letting me know I wouldn’t make any future plans with them, but we would still be cool.
guest
I have the three strikes rule as well!