Lovelyish

I love your new glasses!

You’re cute as a button!

cute half-black rim glasses.

Very nice upgrade!

i like your new glasses:D they look good on you:D

Cutie pie <3

cute!

cuuuute!

They look good. Having wire on only the top leaves less shadow on your face.

Yep I think they’re better

Love it! I’d say stick with ‘em.

much nicer! Very cute 

much better! good choice!

I like the new ones, but I’m biased because they’re a similar style to mine.

You are adorable! <3 and I love the new ones, the black rim around the top is nice because it’s not a full-on thick black rim

Looks great

I love the new classes! Honestly, half rim and whatever is the way to go!

i like them. i think you’re suited for frames that are sort of delicate. I love thick black rim glasses but just cannot pull it off

Love them! I’d get a pair exactly like that. =)

black rimmed ones are cute

the new ones look great!  love the side view of them 

CUTE!!!!!! I love your new glasses!!!!!

They look great! You are looking very smart chica!

Yes, I absolutely adore them. You look so cute.

i adore them!

Well, if it isn’t you? A very attractive and sophisticated look. either or, they both look good on you.

You’re a cutie Hinase, and those glasses look great on you.

I definitely dig the upgrade

The second pair.

Your new ones are much, much better. 

It’s nice to see something on lovelyish that isn’t ridiculous for once. Very cute. =)

But, as odd and embarrassing, and as bitchy as it’s gonna seem, been attempting to fight the compulsion to not mention it for a while, and the panic isn’t going to stop, because that’s how things are for me these days. In your “about me” bit there, you mention wanting to be a writer and yet begin the whole thing with saying you’re the “most weirdest…” which obviously is not proper English, so it might be a good idea to use proper English, or try if you intend on being a writer. It’s a hard job to cut it in, anyway, and the less firm your grasp on the English language, the harder it will be. Just had to say…

Jinkies!

likey

thicker wire is definitely better

the new one really looks good on you

new ones are way nicer

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Hmm….you do realize that I did that on purpose? Right? That I’m fully aware that “most weirdness” isn’t correct in any form but since it’s my xanga and it wasn’t meant to be a full expose of my writings, it’s just my life.(I have best friends that are obsessed with grammar etc;) It’s personal and thus I can do whatever I want. Though I think you shouldn’t judge someone just because they do that at least until you check out their stuff or even mention it when it isn’t the main focus of the post. I think I have a problem with people do that.  

@Hinase@xanga - Uh, are you not a bit of a hypocrite? You’re judging me. I was compulsing, panicking, I’m going through a difficult time in life, it was an OCD thing, I did all I could to leave it, but it was sort of either that or suicide. That’s how it is sometimes. But no. You’re not judgey at all. Because bitching someone out for pointing out something that, to be totally honest, makes you look like a complete dumbass when they directly stated they tried to leave it but it was compulsion isn’t judging at all. You’re not “the most weirdest”, you’re not a special snowflake, you’re just like every other human being on earth, meaning, you’re scum, because look at what the hell you feel the need to do, be a bitch just because you can because someone pointed out a grammatical error because it’s compulsion that comes with their disease in the nicest way possible. Because I’m being honest now, because you have been a bitch, so I now reserve that right myself, and it makes you look like a dumbass. All I did was correct you before, despite the fact you probably need to know you look like a moron, and there is nothing that makes you look less special than basically trying to say your special in improper English. So now you know. You couldn’t be less special, because the people who are the most common are those who think illiteracy is cute, who think calling themselves special makes it so, who thinks that anyone disagreeing with them in any way gives them the right to be a bitch, and who still think they can “be whatever they want” even though their a dumbass. If you don’t practice proper English, writer isn’t a career that’s happening for you, end of story. Do you even know how that works, because you seriously have the behavior patterns and attitude of a five year old, so you probably think it’s easy. Have fun living in a box, because you’re probably so damn thick-skulled you’ll have to learn that lesson the hard way.

If you think /YOU/ shouldn’t judge people, then don’t judge people. I mean, am I judging you now, yes, but there was nothing judging you in my first comment, it was all I could do to get the panic to stop. If your reading comprehension skills are really that poor, another reason you likely can’t be a writer. But your comment however is incredibly judgmental. And you say that you think it’s wrong. THEN DON’T DO IT. Plain and simple. Don’t be a damn hypocrite maybe. You bitch people out for correcting a mistake you DID due to a compulsion related with their psychological disorder, yet you not only get to bitch them out for something at this point in time they have NO CAPACITY TO CONTROL, but you get to be judgey and bitchy and then say that you believe that people shouldn’t judge others implying I was judging you, talking down to me trying to teach me a lesson. But you’re the one who failed to comprehend that my comment had nothing judgmental in it and you’re also the one actually judging. I mean really. Just… how stupid can you be? I seriously wonder at this point how you write that and don’t realize what a hypocritical bitch you’re being there. Because it’s blatantly obvious. If you think you have a problem with people like that, give yourself a good kick in the ass because you are QUEEN of judging people you know nothing about right now, so maybe stop beating me up and give yourself a good ass kicking, princess.

I seriously don’t give a damn how bitchy this is, because my give a damn is busted at this point, and you earned it anyway because up until this point despite the fact you are ridiculously annoying in so many ways, I was polite enough. But you bitched me out for something I touched on lightly and directly stated was a disease thing. So I hope you feel bad, but I doubt I get so lucky. So why don’t you go chew out a cancer kid for being bald now since that’s your thing?

So no, I didn’t realize people went out of their way to look like a moronic douche, so I hoped perhaps it was written while drunk or something. Regardless, it wouldn’t have mattered how it was written, because if you can actually read even on a fourth grade level, it’s clearly stated it’s a compulsion and implied it’s anxiety related, so if you weren’t stupid you’d know that it doesn’t matter. But yeah. Demeaning people for having illnesses. Cool. That’ll get you a hell of a long way in life, I’m sure.

If you really wanna be so unique, then not being a bitch would be a good start, because there is nothing more common in today’s world.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - You’re sad if you’re attacking me and insulting me over a bad piece of grammar. It’s laughable. Not to mention you sounding like my mother or someone I don’t care about. 

Sigh. Then you’re no better than me. 

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - This might be the longest comment I’ve ever seen on Xanga. Too bad it’s entirely unreadable. Stop attacking people you don’t know. You just attacked one of the nicest people on here, and she did absolutely nothing to you. You owe her an apology, or at the very least, leave. 

@Hinase@xanga - You’re the one whose sad, bullying someone about a disease. Don’t even go there, because I WAS nice, perfectly nice, I wasn’t mean until you ripped me a new one FOR BEING SICK. Things like you don’t even deserve to be allowed to breathe air. I ain’t anything good, but I’m not that level of disgusting that I would degrade someone for something they didn’t have a choice in. So stop trying to make yourself feel better by saying I’m no better, because I only was a bitch after you BULLIED ME FOR BEING SICK. So you can’t even rationally go there. You’re being horrible. I’m reacting to you being horrible.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Hey, hey, hey. I will condone no sort of rudeness toward my friend on her own post. And you don’t even have a genuine reason for being rude – you’re just attacking her grammar. For your information, I occasionally speak like that (jokingly), and yet I’m a writer with good grammar. If I can do it, I’m fairly certain Hinase can. So kindly leave her alone.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - ;( for you 

@SnowshoeTrails@xanga - Uh, it isn’t unreadable just because you can’t read. She bullied me for having a disease, so no. She owes me a God damn apology. I nicely pointed out something after I finished ripping a lot of the top layer of most of my bodies skin off fighting the compulsion to not say anything. She went total bitch on me, and so I was a bitch back. And I have that right considering I fought against it so hard in the first place, I was nice about it when I didn’t want to be, and she was a bitch to me for no good reason. So no. Being a bitch gets you bitched at. That’s just what happens. Maybe she’s a nice person normally, but that wasn’t okay, and I’m not gonna apologize for being bullied about having an illness that gives me compulsions, nor should anyone ever have to apologize period for correcting a mistake that a person made anyway when it’s done in a polite manner. You’re being completely unreasonable.

@Queen_of_You188@xanga - No, I wasn’t attacking her grammar. Y’all seriously all apparently just formed a gang and didn’t read anything and just took her side. She was bullying me for having an illness. It was a genuine OCD thing. It was put nicely. It was necessary after A LOT of harm coming to me to stop panic because it’s not always something you can fix. But I did no “attacking” I was polite. She was an outright bitch to me FOR HAVING A DISEASE. So no. Seriously. You’re all scum if you think people should be bullied for being sick and just lay down and take it.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - errr, that’s a bit of a blown-up reaction for her tiny little paragraph. she wasn’t bitching you out nor was she being judgmental, she was defending herself against your claim that she won’t be a good writer because the about me portion on her Xanga contains one grammatical error.

as for your condition, you can’t just say anything you want and then expect that people will take it well and be okay with it just because of your condition. besides, she had no way to know about your condition, and neither does anybody else. nobody is bullying you for whatever your disease is or in general, it was a defense against what you said. also, was it really between posting that comment and suicide for you.. ? that sounds a little ludicrous. but if it’s really true, I’m sorry you’re experiencing that.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - It’s unreadable because you can’t write. Don’t start directing your inappropriate venom towards me. I won’t read your ranting comments, so you are simply wasting your time and frankly making an ass of yourself. I repeat. Apologize or leave. Beyond that, I’m not interested in your anger issues.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - You misinterpreted what she said. How was she supposed to know that you have OCD? She wasn’t bullying you, she was saying that she didn’t like being told what to do. Just because you have a disease, it doesn’t mean that you can use it as an excuse to be mean and lash out like this. If you’re having problems and wanted to vent, you could have just as easily said, “Hey. I’m having a rough night/week/month/year. Can I talk to you about it?” A friend would have gladly agreed to talk with you. If you don’t have any friends to talk to, you can vent to me. Attacking Hinase because of your issues won’t solve anything.

@ivarahBharavi@xanga - She was bitching and being judgmental, if you read it, but then a lot of this is happening way too fast for it to have been a thing that wasn’t just planned out, so I don’t imagine any of you read it. She was being incredibly rude, and judgmental, where I was neither one, and I was was apologetic and polite in my first post, and she was a bully in her reply. I’m not down for just handling that after I fought that so hard anyway. And I’m not using it as some excuse, but there are literally points where if you do not do certain things, you will die with these things, so it’s not always a simple easy thing. But I wasn’t rude. It wasn’t unreasonable, because it was a mistake she did actually make and I approached it reasonably AFTER I did everything else I knew to do. So it’s not like I did some horrible thing and I’m using it as an excuse. Because a person has to take responsibility for things they do, and it’s something she did… you couldn’t at all approach something any more politely than that I don’t think, it’s really just not at all possible, yet her response was accusatory, insulting, and incredibly bitchy, and I’m not gonna take that shit for having a disease, especially when I went out of my way to handle it well. You seriously should all go bitch some cancer kid out for being bald now if it’s so fun, because I honestly am beyond my breaking point and people really need to stop pushing me. I don’t know why it’s so damn funny to people who are healthy to treat people who aren’t like shit until they almost die, but it happens frequently, and I’m damn sick of it really… so if it has to be your hobby why can’t it be someone else tonight?

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Hold on there, I have been looking at the comments and I have not seen anything that looks like an attack. I understand that you had to correct her because it was driving you “Crazy” but to sit there and call her a bitch over 7 times is not called for. Just because you have a bad case of OCD does not give you permission to come and attack and name call anyone. Can I start calling you names and cursing you and say well I have multiple personalities so you have to take it? No! So I would suggest that you log off Xanga, go take some medicine and get some sleep. 

@Queen_of_You188@xanga - I directly stated it was a compulsion. So because I told her. And no, I didn’t misinterpret what she said, there is no way any of that is “nice”. I’m not using it as an excuse. I’m saying I did a reasonable thing as was necessary because of my disease. She decides she needs to be a bitch about it because she’s too immature to take responsibility… that shouldn’t have to be my problem? I’m so close to death it’s not even funny, and so commonly bullied it’s not either, so I’m not gonna take any of her stupid shit. At all. I went out of my way to be reasonable, I was at first, and she WASN’T. So now it’s only fair that I get to be a bitch too. She bullied me for having a disease, and then I was a bitch. I’m not using it as an excuse for being a bitch, but you’re a really, really stupid person if you think someone should just lie down and take the abuse. I’m worth a little more than that even if you don’t think so and just because you will blindly support the discrimination doesn’t mean it’s actually RIGHT. You talk about misinterpreting though, but you don’t even read anything anyone says, because I never lashed out at her because I was having a rough time. It’s just fair. She’s a bitch, so I get to be a bitch. I was reasonable, so I hoped she would be. She was too immature to do so, so she doesn’t get the princess treatment everyone floods in here claiming she deserves. She treated me like shit when I was reasonable with her, which regardless is just a shitty thing to do and means she shouldn’t get princess treatment anyway, but on top of that I was originally polite and somewhat apologetic, directly stating it was a compulsion I couldn’t win the battle against, so in essence she bitched me out for being sick which is fifteen different kinds of wrong.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Again, she never bitched you out for being sick. You keep mentioning being sick, so that means that you’re either using it as an excuse to be mean, or you’re so upset about it that you needed someone to point your anger at. It isn’t your fault that you’re sick, but at the same, it’s not hers, either. So you shouldn’t take those frustrations out of her. If she was being a bitch, like you say, you should have been the bigger man and not stooped to her level. She wasn’t abusing you, but if she had been, I would have quickly taken your side, because that’s who I am. You’re being unreasonable, and I think it’d be in your best interest to go sleep this off.

@looking_inside_me@xanga - You can call me names all you want, I’d prefer that to the attitude she gave me. You really think names are the only thing that constitute as an attack? The insult of my intelligence, accusing me of judging, and just the sheer rudeness of her reply after I went out of my way to be reasonable about it, or at first avoid it entirely is FINE? If names are all you see as an attack, then we’re totally different people because name-calling is about the LEAST insulting thing a person can do when it comes to attacks in my books. What she did is ten times worse, so it’s a matter of opinion, so you don’t get to say. You say name calling is bad, and in my eyes I say that’s worse, so while you don’t see it that way, I do and therefore it justifies my anger. You can start calling me names and cursing me, it’s honestly not a whole lot different than what you’re doing… actually, talking down to me like you are and demeaning me is actually a hell of a lot more rude, so you’re already doing so much worse in my book, so go right ahead. But maybe you should take your advice… because you probably can. You shouldn’t say things like that to people, it’s not fair, because it’s not something I get to be able to do… sleep isn’t something I can choose, so why rub my face in that just for the hell of it? You may not know, but that’s why you shouldn’t try to demean people by treating them like their three and telling them what to do anyway… because you don’t know their situation at all, and it’s not fair to them.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - contrary to your beliefs, I read everything before I commented. she wasn’t being bitchy or judgmental. and seriously, calm down. no one is attacking you for being having a disease. no one is trying to make you die. no one finds this funny. no one wants to go make fun of a bald cancer patient. no one is being discriminatory. you’re seeing things that are not there. and actually, you’re the one attacking and pitying yourself for being sick. 

if little things drive you crazy because of your condition, I think that for your own well-being you should stay off of Xanga. I’m not saying as a “GET OUT OF HERE”, it’s just that if something that little set you off then I can’t begin to imagine how you’d respond to something that actually was bitchy or mean. that happens on any social networking site. 

and honestly, I think that you’re not helping yourself by throwing yourself a pity party and declaring that everyone is out to get you and that you’re this poor little thing for having a disease. everyone has something they fight, and the author whom you attacked is bipolar and yet she responded quite civilly. stand up to it! your disease isn’t you. you’re bigger than it. 

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - I know all too well about the effect and symptoms of OCD. This is an episode that you are experiencing right now. I do not call people names nor try to demean then in any way, but you are obviously taking this to the extreme and using your illness to justify your behavior is out of line. If all this boils down to pointing out a grammar error on her part it drove you to this point, then you should have been adult about it and written in your own blog about how people on Xanga who wants to become writers and can not use proper grammar. You are arguing with people here who are in the age range of 18-26. They want to become writers well then let them experience the trials they have to face. This is a blog, not a writers den or a site that caters to aspiring writers. This particular segment is Lovelyish, a blog site that includes beauty, makeup and fashion. So in ending our conversation; you fight with kids, you will be treated as such. End of conversation!

@Queen_of_You188@xanga - Yes, she did. You may ignore it, but it’s there. I guess there are no cancer wards in the area and you need and excuse to bully someone. And also, it makes so much sense to tell me what my actions mean. No. I mention being sick because it was the cause of this. Do I wish I was dead so it hadn’t happened. FUCK YES. Because I don’t want to deal with your dumbass friend bitching me out or her god damn gang bitching me out for it, I would rather be dead. But it’s the thing that happened because I was sick. It’s not rocket science, it’s not some kind of deep psychological issue the OCD is actually not even really psychological so much as my body just has broken down so much with physical illness everything goes. I have brain damage and all this other crap and suddenly I have uncontrollable severe OCD because somewhere in my brain that wire snapped. But I have no secret motive or anything like you’re trying to act like I do. It was just the cause of all this. Your friend is rotten to the core, I sort of had a feeling, and I’ve seen her around I believe… so I’ve had the idea, but I was reasonable, and it backfired, and I’m not saying I’m being a bitch because I’m sick, no I’m being a bitch because SHE WAS and fair is fair, so if you’re gonna torture people, you should torture her too, she has longer left to live, so she’ll last longer as a victim. She was a bitch, so I was a bitch. That’s not sickness, that’s LIFE. But I mention being sick because that’s the reason this all happened. I had to choose death or torture, I ALWAYS have to choose death or torture, and instinctively humans shy away from death as a choice, so the answer automatically becomes torture despite the fact you have no desire to live to go through this hell. But here I am. And I knew it was gonna happen. Because humans are absolute heartless shit, all of them, to the core. They can’t ever stop to give a single fuck about anything but what they want. About maybe not being a rude bitch to that girl for a compulsion focused on something I intended to do and make her feel like shit for what possibly could be her last day. But it’s never that. And it always goes so much further than just not caring, but they have to actually destroy some piece of you for even existing. It’s really fucked up that she says she intended to do it yet she still had to intentionally set out to ruin my evening. She had to be rude to me about it anyway, yet she said it was intentional, so why? Just because she can? I don’t get it, honestly. You say it wasn’t bitching, but that’s because your biased and have been on her side from the beginning, so dug you wont say that. But it was rude, and uncalled for and unnecessary, and so why is me saying things that are rude and uncalled for an unnecessary suddenly such an ordeal it calls for like five different people all hear telling me how wrong I am and ganging up on me, yet when she did it it was fine? People are scum, and the suffering I can’t really do but I’ll be incredibly excited to leave this hell-hole of disgusting excuses for people behind. Because I’m never gonna win no matter what i do, so I guess I just have to let people abuse me constantly and just deal with it until I die. Hell of a way to have to live life… and I bet not a damn one of you will hold yourselves to the same standards, but damn it all to hell if we won’t beat the shit out of a cripple girl until she decides she will just take the abuse and be a punching bag for everyone no matter what they do until the day she dies. I bet y’all will laugh too…

Just throwing this out there: My aunt has OCD, Bipolar disorder and anxiety issues and I’m bipolar myself(probably among other things) and I’m going through a very severe manic phase myself but I never justify acting on impulse because of my disorder or even excusing my bad behavior on my moods. I try my hardest to take responsibility for all my words and actions, intentional or not. 

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Look, nobody is laughing at you. It’s obvious to me that you have something going on beyond anything that happened on this blog. Your reaction is simply factually wrong. Nobody attacked you. The way you are reacting does not match anything else that happened on this blog. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time. I really am. I’m also sorry to see it translating into a pretty strong attack on somebody who simply does not deserve it. 

@Hinase@xanga - And to respond to your actual post, I love the glasses.

@looking_inside_me@xanga - Well, I wasn’t talking about OCD so cool that you say you know things, but it doesn’t matter if you know things, you’re still being just as bad. Like I said, degrading people talking down to them is rude and immature as well, so maybe you should warm up a bottle and go to bed you little toddler. You’re not any better. Your attack is different but WORSE. Like I said, absolutely 100% worse, because names and cursing don’t matter to me. And treating me like a kid wasn’t the issue, though, like I made the point of, you’re no damn better, though you try to act like it, you’re just as rude and insulting so if that’s the game we’re playing, go grab your pacifier. But it’s the fact you’re such a heartless demon as to dangle the thought of something as enticing as SLEEP in front of someone who can’t have it. It is ridiculous that you seriously feel like you’re in some kind of position of power anyway as to tell me what to do, because age isn’t a thing, maturity isn’t even a thing, just gonna say, dying, you learn things people don’t normally know until their fifty. And age is a number. And you’re being as immature but in a different way, you’re disguising your cruelty so you can pretend it’s not there, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t. The point is, I don’t get to sleep for days. You seriously don’t deserve to be able to sleep for telling people with that issue to “go to bed” because you deserve to have to know what it’s like not to be able to. Even when I sleep, I don’t reach restorative stages, it’s like I never sleep. So you have no idea how much I wish I could. You’re a jackass for dangling that in front of me… and you may not have known, but that’s why you shouldn’t be acting like such a pompous ass anyway, because you end up doing things that are no less than utterly heartless.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - And, somehow, being compelled to do something absolves you of being a bitch?

OCD is a miserable thing, sometimes. You’re claiming that you would have been suicidal, had you not called Hinase out on her word choices. I want to know why you’re not institutionalized, since you are clearly a danger to yourself.

@SnowshoeTrails@xanga - Thanks My bf picked that out for me and I decided to go with them. 

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - Are you kidding? That’s unspeakably cruel. Just because you’ve known people that would be so cruel to a cripple girl, it doesn’t mean that all people are like that. Yes, you’re right that all people are generally mean and selfish, but some are much less so than others. Those are the “good people”, and there are “good people” here now.

The reason everyone called you out is because, again, we all read the conversation and none of us thought that she was being too mean about it.

I understand that you’re sick. I understand that you’re going through a lot of shit right now that your mind can’t handle, and I’m sorry that you have to go through it all. But none of us were trying to hurt you in any way. We just wanted to protect Hinase, because she’s our friend and because we feel that she was in the right. No one came on this post, read your comments and said, “Hmm, this girl’s sick, why don’t we be total jackasses to her for no reason?” We had a motive.

I don’t think I’ve ever met you before, but reading all this, it makes me worry about you. It almost makes me want to be a friend of yours, just so you’ll have someone (though I’m sure you have friends already).

The only reason I’m continuing to talk to you now is because I honestly think that you just need someone to talk to.

@Prolixity_Split@xanga - Can I say I love the Plants vs Zombie picture? <3

@Hinase@xanga - Did you read any of what I said, or just go around trying to act like you’re all better than everyone else? Because I didn’t do that if you’re trying to imply that, so seriously, you might want to just stop, because I am beyond broken and worn out and I am crazy… you might want to just stop fucking pushing me because as if you haven’t pushing me right to the damn edge anyway. I have said multiple times that I was a bitch because you were a bitch. The original thing was a compulsion, which I originally stated, which if you know people with the disorder you really have no right to be so ignorant about. But afterward I admitted COUNTLESS times that I’m being a bitch because you were. People seriously keep saying that and I’m so ready to start killing them because no one is listening to me and that needs to stop being said because I’ve admitted it definitely way way more than once. I was a bitch because you were one and fair is fair. It’s not a difficult concept. MENTIONING an illness does not equal blaming it, so seriously, people need to stop with that one now, or I’m really gonna absolutely totally lose it, because I don’t make God damn excuses. I admitted it multiple times, so why the fuck is everyone here such a moron that not a SINGLE person is apparently able to read above a fourth grade level and comprehend the concept? Because continuing to torture me about that one thing in particular isn’t gonna fly.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - I feel the same like you but I don’t snap at people on the internet and if I feel like I might, I get off. That is why I took a break from xanga. I didn’t want to say or do things that I would regret or hurt people’s feelings. I’m not better. I just learnt that the world really doesn’t give a fuck if you are sick or not. I learned it the hard way. I was kicked out and forced out of my home state to live with a stranger because I became bipolar and everyone was tired of bothering with me but no one wanted to help me. Believe me, I’m no stranger to your pain or your suffering. I go through it every day and I’m sure a lot of people do.  But I think this convo is over regardless. It really gets nowhere fast. 

@Prolixity_Split@xanga - I didn’t say that. Learn to read you stupid fucker, because I’m about to lose my mind, next person to LIE and say I’m using it as an excuse to be a bitch just might die and I’m not even necessarily joking. People lose their minds when their bullied. Like the whole Columbine thing. And this happens all the time. And I didn’t say that you dumbfuck, I said the opposite many times, and if there is anything I don’t do it’s use it as an excuse, so this might be the thing to make me a murderer, because it’s honestly quickly becoming something I can’t live with. I have stated multiple times me being a bitch wasn’t an OCD thing, it was because she was a bitch and that’s just leveling the playing field.

@Hinase@xanga - Good on you, Hinase. For the record, I dig the new glasses.

@Hinase@xanga - Uh you did snap at me for an illness related thing and a generally reasonable comment about a thing you actually claimed you intended to do. So no… you do. Try again. Because that’s this whole situation. And it’s not the same thing because while it’s a psychological label, it’s just because I’m dying and sometimes that happens when everything falls apart so slowly. So you don’t probably understand because I had a disorders before this but it was not at all the same thing, it’s a lot more different than you’d think.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - I don’t think so. Anyhow, le sigh

I love them <3 My friend is so pretty! 

@Prolixity_Split@xanga - Thanks

@Queen_of_You188@xanga - That’s happening here. So it’s common. Happens frequently. When you get to be in this bad of a spot, you learn the real truth, that there are no GOOD people. Because you no longer have ANYTHING to offer through a mutually beneficially relationship, at best you’re a burden, but people can still make use of you by using you… you’re vulnerable… so a target for whatever the fuck they want to do. Or anything else they can think of. There aren’t actually people who actually bother despite the fact they get nothing out of it. And it’s hard to see when you have something to offer, and that’s okay… because as far as your concerned, the real truth doesn’t matter. All people are incredibly mean and selfish period. I don’t even think there are really levels of it like you might imagine, we’re all just terrible.

I won’t even get into that. I delete the whole damn paragraph here because I’m out of the energy left to deal with the gang of bullies defending her for being in the right for ripping me a new one for mentioning something she did in a polite manner. I guess as friends your obligated to think that, but then it was hardly necessary for all of you to take this time to make me feel bad, because I was wishing I had died instead the moment she said that, so there was no need for all of you to come in and do all this. But heaven forbid I’m not deathly fucking ill this weekend for the one damn party I’ll ever have. The stress will likely put me in the hospital… thanks I guess. Would have been a lame party anyway, but still, a fucking party, and mine… but sort of so little hope there now. Because heaven forbid you not all chew me up and spit me out, heaven forbid I manage to feel okay enough to do something sort of fun. So yeah. I’m wrong for existing. Sorry. Won’t happen again.

Would being your friend get me this kind of guard dog treatment? If so, how much is it gonna run me? Because this happens one more time it’s gonna kill me, and it will, it always does. Hell… I’ll probably kill myself as a preemptive strike just so I don’t have to do this god damn bullshit again because it is no less than absolute utter hell. But no. Don’t have friends. Because humans want something out of everything they do, and I have nothing left to give, so I had to cut them loose or I was gonna drown. Didn’t do me much good, though, because humans are disgusting creatures and just because you don’t have personal relationships with them doesn’t mean you can get away from the fact they’re scum.

I’m just wasting time. I don’t know what to do… because I had stuff planned out the next couple of days for my party preparations, but this sort of almost for sure nixes that. My bodies response to stress is sometimes to almost completely attempt to shut down, or at very least just to not work and feel like crap for days. I don’t know if it’s even worth trying at this point or if I just give up here…

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga -

You said, “Learn to read you stupid fucker“

I have demonstrated that I have a reasonable grasp on the English language already by responding to your comment. At worst, I possess average intelligence and the ability to apply your vernacular in my reply to you. I would argue that I am not “stupid”, as you say. You did, however, correctly assume that I am a “f#cker”. My husband and I frequently enjoy one another in a sexual context. Bravo for a good guess!

You said, “[The] next person to LIE and say I’m using it as an excuse to be a bitch just might die and I’m not even necessarily joking.“

Am I to understand that you are making a legitimate threat against me and the others who have responded to you? It’s worse than I thought, then. You are not only a danger to yourself, as you have admitted to laboring at the task of removing the upper layers of your own dermis, but you are now presenting yourself as a danger to others. Again, I must wonder how it is that you are not currently institutionalized. How can it be that nobody in your life has noticed the self-mutilation, at the least?

You said, “People lose their minds when their bullied. Like the whole Columbine thing. And this happens all the time.“

Actually, the Columbine incident was fairly unique in how it occurred. For instance, it involved not one shooter, but two adolescent boys acting in cahoots with one another. Generally, school shootings are carried out by a single individual. Also, there was an attempt in Columbine to blow up the school, albeit a failed attempt. That is another circumstance unique to the incident.

You should consider qualifying your statements, rather than generalizing them. If you had said “[s]ome people lose their minds when [they're] bullied[,]” the statement would have been a provable theory. Instead, you said a more general “people”. We know from anecdotal evidence that not all people who are bullied “lose their minds.”

Also, you used “their” to mean “they are.” You should have used “they’re,” as I did above.

I’m going to ignore your assertion that OCD may make you a murderer. I sincerely disbelieve that the disorder can be linked to homicidal inclinations. Perhaps your diagnosis is incomplete.

You said, “I have stated multiple times me being a bitch wasn’t an OCD thing, it was because she was a bitch and that’s just leveling the playing field.“

You said that you fought the compulsion to mention her wording choice. Why was that? Is it because you knew it was a rude thing to do, to manufacture a reason to criticize someone unrelated to the present post? You accused her of being a b!tch to you, but I believe you are in the minority with that reading of her remarks. Perhaps you should call your therapist, since this has spurred you to self-harm, rather than respond to other commenters.

Best of luck with your future impulse control!

@Prolixity_Split@xanga - haha I don’t think it was worth posting that long of a comment. I feel like she just has other crazy shit going on, and really is failing to see reason in this situation. proving that you’re right won’t do much. she’s been attacked more than enough, and we should probably just leave her alone.. I dunno about you, but I feel kind of bad for her. :/

@Prolixity_Split@xanga - Uh, most of what you were on about was bullshit, but I skimmed through and you saying that I implied OCD may make me a murderer proves you read not a damn thing I said correctly at all, so it’s likely all shit. Like I said, learn to read… you claimed you have proved you can on some level or something to that effect and blah blah fucking blah, but you’re still COMPLETELY making shit up and just saying that I said it because you can. I mean, let’s be frank, who wouldn’t want to kill you when you continually make up stupid statements and insult THEM for claiming those things when YOU MADE THE STUFF UP. Killing may be a bit extreme, but then, certainly nobody could ever actually like you if you do that, definitely makes you incredibly dis-likable straight off, and then mix that in with a situation like this and you see the thing. Shit heads like you have been abusing me all my life, so if you think it’s unreasonable to want it to stop, you’re the crazy one. And there are apparently only two ways. Someone’s gotta go. Ponder that for a moment. And then remind yourself to stop making shit up just so you can bully people. Because maybe I’m too grounded to do it, but someday someone is going to get sick of being bullied for your made up crap and they’ll bash your skull in. 

It’s not a so much official diagnosis. Like it IS. It was legit doctor diagnosed down in charts and all, but it’s a side effect of dying for me. Possibly some weird brain damage as I have other brain damage. So it’s not something there is gonna be any fixing from what I’ve been told. It’s just a thing I have to deal with because that’s what happens when you die slowly like this… everything falls apart. Some wire just snapped  and no therapy is going to fix a damaged brain, it’s permanent. Self harm is a common OCD and anxiety thing, if you’re at all educated off it. I mentioned earlier how I ripped the top layer of skin off most of my body during this thing. That was it. It wasn’t like I went all emo and slit my wrists or shit, and it wasn’t a trigger so much as it WAS a part of the episode itself, that is just part of it. A lot of it for me is if it’s not one thing it’s another which may not be so much what classic OCD is supposed to be, but if it’s not skin picking, or counting this, or writing this out, saying this thing about this, then it’s something else and it’s almost a constant thing from one thing to another. But just stop acting so know it all and stop telling me what the fuck to do, because my therapist can’t do shit, because it’s not like that. So stop being such a know it all bitch, because it’s a shitty thing to have to explain anyway especially just because you’re so stupid as to think you know everything. You’re an absolute moron. And you deserve to die, but no one needs to kill you, people like you end up killing themselves through their own hubris.

And actually, they consider you crazy if you aren’t homicidal or suicidal at this point. I’m not even kidding, my doctors have legitimately stated it’d be worrying if i was at this point and I wasn’t feeling those things and having those thoughts. If you know so damn much, then how is that for a lesson in human psychology… when people suffer they want to die and when you treat them like SHIT they want to make you die. It’s not rocket science. It’s dangerous how smart you appear to think you are considering how unintelligent you ACTUALLY are.

@ivarahBharavi@xanga - You should feel bad for the person you’re speaking to, their the one who was now made up statements here AT LEAST twice in order to insult me. So despite my situation, needing to make up things in order to feel justified in bullying someone else is way more effed up. Plus, she’s not so right as she seems, because here’s the thing… it’s not all black and white. If she knows so damn much, if you know so damn much, then why don’t you know that little tidbit, hmmm? But yeah, my case isn’t the typical one, so it’s not gonna fit in with typical OCD type stuff, because it may not really be OCD. Our best guess is that like so much else it’s brain damage from my body shutting down, but that’s the closest thing to it. But it’s not something thing you can just fix on a whim, so while she demeaningly tells me to talk to my therapist or whatever and attempts to seem so smart, she really doesn’t have a single fucking clue what she’s talking about there at all…

@Hinase@xanga - Well, if that’s the game we’re playing, I could say the same thing despite you accusing me otherwise… doesn’t make it true just because I deny it. At least I can own up to what I did. You can’t take responsibility for anything you did. Even something you claim to have done INTENTIONALLY isn’t something you can even really deal with being responsible for, because you used it as an excuse to be rude to me. You don’t have “think so”, but it doesn’t change reality. At least I can own up to my actions while you refuse to admit to anything at all like somehow you’re some perfect little angel or something. And all your friends may have your back because their obligated to, but it’s pretty clear you’re not if you’re looking at the situation realistically. Just saying. I could do the same and say I didn’t think I did what you accused me of either, but I’m not such a coward, I know I snapped, and I know it’s the damn truth, and I’m gonna be a big girl and own up. So you can deny it if you feel the need but that doesn’t change the truth…

@ivarahBharavi@xanga - I don’t.

First of all, there isn’t a clear link between self-harming and OCD. In fact, the International OCD Foundation doesn’t discuss self-harming as a compulsion, but rather the compulsive need to make sure one has not harmed oneself or others. While every person’s disorder manifests in a manner unique to them, there are some overarching commonalities. Self-harm certainly isn’t one of them. Most journal articles a cursory search of the subject provided mentioned self-harm in that context, one of prevention. It is not impossible that this person is self-harming in response to anxiety, but it’s a hard sell, for me.

I agree, though, that the person is failing to react reasonably to stimulus. I wasn’t actually attempting to prove that I am right in anything. I was responding to the ridiculousness in kind, which is ironic, if he or she thought about it. My comments were snarky, but not out of line. Frankly, I don’t believe that the commenter is accurately portraying the disorder he or she proclaims to possess.

Either way, it was fun constructing that last response. For you, I’ll refrain from further comment to that person.

Edit: And now that I’ve read his or her last response to me, I’d really like to blast her out of the water for making claims that directly contradict the information from many sources. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t endeavor to “make nice,” as it were.

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - I have no reason to apologize, especially to someone that takes my words out of context and twists them and insults me. If anything, you should be apologizing to me…but you won’t and it’s okay.

And no, I’m not perfect, that’s the thing. I try to learn from mistakes and I know what isn’t right. And treating people like this online or in real life is not right at all. You have no reason or no excuse to act like this even if you are sick or I am sick too. Though I do slip up but I make sure to make amends for it..and it has happened in the last few days..and sometimes I can’t control it but I still try to apologize for it. Intentional or not. You call me a horrible person and you call me names..but I’m not going to do the same. I have some dignity not to do that to you. I have some respect not to do that. And I’m sorry if you think I was attacking you, I merely defended myself but I won’t apologize to you fully. I’m just sorry you mistook what I said quite wrongly. I may be a scum person but I won’t let people yell and demean me. I’ve been abused and bullied for most of my life and I won’t let you do that or anyone. I merely was standing up for myself nicely, in a unoffensive matter. But again, I’m sorry if you found that offensive. I just thought and still do that what you said was rude and hurtful and you did come off as judgmental especially when it came to a post about my glasses. Again if my xanga was a place for my real writings, I would use better grammar. But the case in point is, that it is not. I don’t have to be formal and use grammar at all here.

 At least read some of my stuff before writing me off as some idiot that has horrible grammar (It’s not perfect and I’m not the best at it but I try and that should be counted). I implore you to read, seriously. But if you won’t do that or keep dragging it on..I have nothing more to say to you. I’ve said a lot and you don’t wanna listen to me and that’s fine. I can’t make you. And I can’t change your mind either. Regardless, I know the kind of person I am and I know I’m a good person that makes honest mistakes but I also know that ragging on people because of a disorder is not right or fair to anyone here or even blaming it on it is still no better. Life does not take excuses and it’s not kind, something I’ve found out first hand. Again, I’m sorry you took it the wrong way but I can’t do anything about that. 

@AGreatPerhaps@xanga - I think you should just forget about all of this, and go do something that makes you happy.

Upgrade.