“R u skinny in real life?”
That’s just one of the charming messages sent by one online dater to another which can be seen on a new website: Messages from Match. Started in April, this site shows us what really goes on in the inboxes of online daters.
Here’s some of my favorites:
What silly idiot let you get away!
I have a feeling someone didn’t wear his helmut when he rode the short bus to school! haha I’m Keith-just wanted to say hi
Just heard that Shakira’s in town. If I were you, I’d snatch me up before she does!
Hey!
Being a midget doesn’t leave me many options but I’m sure in time that you will learn to love me. Don’t assume that just because I’m short (3’2”) that I’m not
packing something serious under these silk, sexy, boxers.Seriously though, I’m single, educated, 27 years old, 6’2. I work and play hard. I hope to hear from you soon and thanks for your time.
I challenge you to a cookie off. Winner keeps all of the cookies for themselves. Loser has to bake then winner cookies for one whole year. Every day. Eight dozen. Deliver them to doorstep. With milk. And….nope, that’s it.
Sincerely,
-Cookie King Tyler-
Ah, I knew it! You didn’t get back to me because you really ARE a 50 year old man writing to me from his basement! Just my luck.
It’s not like there could be some other reason you haven’t written back that I can think of. But that’s no reason to be rude, right? Even if you’re too afraid to answer my last email, you can still write back and tell me about your basement lair. What’s it like?
hi im james woooooooooooooooooooooooooooow ur sooooooooooooooooo beautiful i dont believe ur really single..lol wow but if it true.. its very nice meeting u.. well just wanted u to know im very kind, caring, honest gentleman.. all i ask is a chance to prove it… YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE I COME WITH A “30 DAYS MONEY BACK GUARANTEED” IF UR NOT COMPLETELY SATIFIED WITH OUR CONVERSATION OR OUR FIRST DATE U CAN RETURN ME BACK TO P.O.F. FOR A FULL REFUN OF THE PURCHASED PRICE……(minus shipping and handling)….lolololololol…..jk… pls just one chance…
Have you ever gotten a submission-worth message on a dating website?
guest
HANDS OFF, SHAKIRA IS MINE
guest
Number 3 seems decent. I’d melt.
guest
i dont get them on a dating site since i dont use them, i get creepy messages on facebook from random guys. one guy told me he would break up with his fiancee to go out with me. yeahh that sure swept me off my feet -_-
dahlia / 2012 posts
I got a message from a guy who happened to have the same name — first and last — as a mass murderer. It wasn’t even a remotely common name, either. But his name wasn’t what ruined his chances of being with me; it was the fact that he was killing me (ha!) with boredom.
guest
This makes me wish I’d kept some of the messages I’ve gotten from guys on dating sites. Seriously, I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes before they hit send.
rose / 802 posts
A friend of mine keeps some of her really good ones! http://thiswillgetmelaid.blogspot.com/
sunflower / 416 posts
I get weird messages all the time, ranging from guys who babble on about their insecurities to 45-year-olds offering to be my sugar daddy. The only one in my inbox as of now that I thought was funny:
“Movies tonight”
Yeah, that’s it; no period, question mark, or following sentence. Did that guy really think I’d just be like, “Yeah, wanna go see Rango?”
sunflower / 403 posts
“Hi, I think we have a lot in common, so please don’t hesitate. We can be friends first. You and I are going to have a great relationship together. Hmmm…looking ahead, lets say we are going to have a few children together.
lol”
Shudders at the thought…creepy!
orchid / 242 posts
They should make a site for dating message fails.
guest
Go ahead Cookie King! Even though I don’t like cookies.
Can’t wait to add this site to my favorites for future laughs, it’s going right after lamebook
magnolia / 1369 posts
I like that one about the 50 year old man in the basement lair.
orchid / 173 posts
i actually like the second to last one. he seems witty, and i like that in a man.
daisy / 568 posts
Off topic but you look like Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother.
hydrangea / 91 posts
I thought the cookie one was awesome haha.
sunflower / 413 posts
This is one I saved due to the pure creepiness of it on Facebook. Paired with his profile picture which simply consisted of his skull tattooed arm. Sooooooo hot (insert sarcasm here)
“I seen your picture on the Eagles page and was like wow.LOL Was wondering if you want to go to an Eagles game with me. I live in State College but used to live in Boothwyn and Malvern PA. I get season tickets. If your interested, add me as a friend. ttyl hopefully”
My picture showed up on the Philadelphia Eagles fan page so naturally, that means I want to meet you and go to all the Eagles home games with you.
guest
What the…? Why are they single?!
guest
hahaha these are funny
guest
lmao! I got an inbox not from a dateing site but from Myspace… It was from a guy I did not know at all…
He basically said this…nvm I deleted it… lol
He basically said he was browsing and got interested in me… He just had to know how I felt and would react to finding him literally 12inch tall. He asked me to explain What I would do in great detail…
Me and my husband couldn’t help but laugh for about a half hour…
guest
irl this old 60 yr old asked me, “come to my dojo. i’ll introduce you to my sensei.” -_-
peony / 1 posts
@proudsmartypants@xanga - That is the site!
orchid / 242 posts
@messagesfrommatch - Oh fail >_< Sorry xP
guest
i think i send some fucking funny messages from time to time. somebody reply this.. i’ll look in sent folders tomorrow
guest
I’ve never been on a dating site but I’ve had some pretty ridiculous advances on MySpace.. :/
lily / 5148 posts
Never signed up for a dating site.
guest
A long time ago I was on a dating site and I said on my profile that I didn’t date gamers, ever. It’s just not my thing.
Someone sent me an angry message yelling at me for not liking his hobby and saying that I was missing out on him. I highly doubt I was missing out on anything.
guest
My experience on OKcupid hasn’t been tooo bad. The weirdest one I can think of is a black dude saying how I was really pale and he thought we’d contrast well.
The guy I’m currently dating sent me this: “I know we haven’t met yet, but I think we should stop seeing each other”. It was corny. But damn, I’m glad I responded ANYWAY and I got to know him. He is pretty awesome and for the first time, better looking than his picture.