I’m a few weeks away from turning 21, and the fact that I am getting older is really starting to hit me. Every one always says that after 21, it’s all down hill from there. I don’t necessarily believe that, as I think I still have my twenties to look forward to, but I am scared of growing up. Finding a job. Paying bills. Going on real interviews. What does it all mean? How can I possibly be ready for all of that stuff when I still feel like a child? Can’t I just stay a Rugrat forever?
The problem is, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I am currently an English and Mass Communications major, and still have those little pangs of regret when looking back on my college career. Writing and books are a definite passion, but I’ve started to consider other fields that might interest me. I’ve considered going into teaching, social work, or counseling, simply because I love being around people and helping them. But, where do all the other little things I love fit in? Things like fashion, art, and creative writing are still so important to me that I just don’t know where to turn sometimes.
When I start to think about everything I like to do, and everything I could do, I resent the fact that college costs more than a house. I resent the fact that I didn’t always have help from guidance counselors and advisors to show me that sometimes what you’re good at may not always lead to the perfect career. When I have these doubts, I just try to tell myself that I am still young and have all the time in the world to find the right fit. I like to think that everything I enjoy doing can become a core part of my existence, but really, I am just afraid of adulthood. I want to be happy with everything I decide to do, no matter how successful I become or how much money I make. Also, knowing that my mother will still cook for me even when I move out of the house gives me the comfort I need to find the right path.
Are any of you Lovelies confused about what you want to do with your life?