Lovelyish

Wow. 
I have never been raped or sexually assaulted, although I have been 

in an extremely physically and mentally abusive relationship. 
One of your lessons applys to that, it was never my fault,
which took me years to understand.  You are so inspiring. 

You’re a strong woman and you must be very proud of yourself. 
I pray to god the man who violated had his just deserts. 
Sickening people the world holds. 
Any who, you’re just lovely, I’m so glad you are safe. 

None of these things could be deemed common sense after someone’s been raped. They immediately blame themselves and can’t help but to allow such unfortune to consume them. So, this post was necessary.

It takes a lot to share such a story.

Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for this.  I think it’s something we need to be reminded of every once in a while.  This really motivates me to learn self-defense skills, as I am a single woman living alone.  I’m glad you’re safe and you can use your experience to enlighten others, like myself.

Thank you for sharing this. When it happened to me, it took a very long time until I could give myself the empowerment I needed to overcome the guilt and depression. Meeting and falling in love with my husband really helped.

Thank you for sharing this. It takes an extremely mature person (in my opinion) to look at something as unfortunate as this and get something out of it. You are really strong and I’m glad you’re safe.

You’re a very brave woman. 

@j_e_n@xanga - agreed

Man you are strong! I admire that. Sorry this has happen to you and yes, shit happens to good people. Shit has happened to me but hell I’ve learned from it and I try not to beat myself up everyday!

numbers 1 and 2 were the hardest things to learn.

Thanks for posting this I’ve had been struggling with a sexual assault that happened over four years ago up until a few months ago. It took me awhile to come to terms with what happened and realize that it wasn’t my fault. The two most difficult parts are definitely wondering why it happened to you and blaming yourself. 

Then, I suppose I still have a lot to learn. 

Good post though

Thank you for posting this . I used to work with girls who were raped and/ or sexually assaulted, and I’ve seen so many of them struggle to regain their strength. It always broke my heart. You’re such a strong girl, and you’ve come so far! Although I don’t know you, personally, I’m very proud of you! 

I can’t even begin to imagine how devastating that must have been for you. You’re so strong. I’m truley inspired. I love how you’ve taken the experience as an opportunity to learn from it despite the trauma you must have faced. I’m proud of you, just know that it’s girls like you who can empower those other women around you. I hope those who have had to go through such an unfortunate event can recover as you did.

Side note: I come from a very conservative family and have been very sheltered to the point that it amazes me how many of you (judging by your comments) have been through such a similar situation. It’s crazy how common it is and I didn’t even realize it. I wish there was a way we could fix this. I think sharing your stories and how you overcame it is a step. I’m proud of you girls!

It’s good to bring light to such a dark topic.

Your very brave this post opens my eyes to accepting it and learning from it not pretending it just didn’t happen & let it overtake me.

Thanks for this incredibly straightforward, no-nonsense post about rape. You sound like a very brave person

Thanks for this incredibly straightforward, no-nonsense post about rape. You sound like a very brave person

Thank you for this post, i actually did check out the site you listed and talked to one of the hotline people. I guess this is step one for me, only took 5 years… 

You are very brave and i hope one day i can look back with the same insight as you have. Thank you again.

haha shit. It took me 2 years to learn this crap!! Now, I’m starting to feel a lot better. Love this list. Simple, but great.

You are so brave for being so open about your past. Others can really learn from your story. People like you inspire me. Although I’ve never been raped, I was in a sexually/emotionally abusive relationship when I was 14. I was thinking about one day maybe just posting a blog telling that story, and maybe discussing the physically abusive relationship I was in when I was 17 as well. I can discuss it all in pieces, but once I try to put it together I can’t seem to word it correctly. The idea that you can talk about your experience like this makes me know that people who have gone through worse than me can be open and helpful. I want to help too. Thanks so much for your post. It really means a lot, and I’m sure you’ve helped a lot of young and even older girls, and guys for that matter, learn how to protect themselves from rape and sexual abuse. <3

This is a topic close to my heart. People always think they know and that it’s only one of those things, the sort that happens but never to anyone you know, let alone yourself. While many don’t talk about it, and for good reason, awareness is important. Safety first.

Thank you so much for sharing your story
I always feel very angry at the world when I hear about stuff like rape. Last year I heard about how someone’s stepparent sexually abused them and the blood parent took the side of the spouse. :/
I hope I actually take this advice to heart because I am not that careful at night, myself.

i always admire strong people…it has never happened to me and it’s one of my biggest fears.i try to be extra careful and do all of the things you say,but i still feel very,very scared.
i hope everything works right for you from now on..

This was exactly what I needed to hear thank you so much for posting it! Mine happened six years ago and for some strange reason this year has been the hardest. Its in the past though. I like the way you put the fault piece. It isn’t possible for it to be my fault that he picked me. There is no reason to feel guilty for a decision you didn’t make. You are so awesome!

you are extremely brave.  

It disturbs me so many women have been raped. We need to start installing guns in our titties.

Thank you for posting this…

I was raped when I was 17, and it DID consume me and screwed up my life pretty bad. It taught me alot though.

This is such an important post!  Thank you for doing this!

I’ve been raped before and it took me years to realize that it wasn’t my fault. Thank you for writing this. It will help so many people.

When people think about rape they think of a man raping a woman. It can be the other way around too. I know a boy whose sister tried to rape him. She was 14 and he was 12. Their oldest sister walked in at just the right time to catch her sister and stop what was happening.

@BayCat - That actually happened to me too. He said he didn’t do it and my mom believed him. I haven’t had any contact with her in over two years because of that and a couple other things.

Thank you for posting this!  I needed this.  I’ve had a hard time dealing with mine.

@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I agree. And teeth elsewhere!! 

Thank you for sharing.

agreed.



‎”Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”

I want to tell all you women how much I appreciate each and every one of your comments.  For those of your who were sexually assaulted in some way, I am so terribly sorry and I hope that you receive/have the healing you deserve.  You are all unbelievably strong and beautiful.

@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I’ll install some for you.

be strong!  

“You are not weak because you were singled out, he is weak because he had to forcibly take something that wasn’t his. No means no–end of story.  Every man should respect that, and those who don’t are nothing but scum.”  <– this means a lot to me =] Thanks a lot. 

@ShimmerBodyCream
you rock!

to the poster: i am sorry you had to go through this. i wish you a lot of strenght for your future.

This was a good post, short but to the point. I’ve been assaulted but I wont go into it here.

this is really inspirational and i am glad you are moving forward with your life. you are a strong woman

Wow! Thanks for sharing this. I’m glad you haven’t let the bad experience consume you. It’s good to see that you’ve been able to learn something from it. 

Great post; thanks for sharing!

great point here . i just got a few suggestions im a second amendment guy and so if its legal in ur state u might want to consider something more effective ya mace does the job sometimes but a gun would garuantee the job with training of course self defense is very important theres hundreds of ways to do it more girls should think of carrying guns no man would think twice on attackign a girl with a gun unless on drugs or non lethal alternative a tazer very very effective will drop any one im 230 pounds and after being tazed i dropped faster then anything . rapists sex offenders molesters any of those are scum bags and there should be stricter laws against them thats what im working on

sincerly

john jackson

owner of jackons helping hands in NH

seeing how close you live to me really hit home. i need to get rid of the “would never happen to me” mindset and finally take those self defense classes. 

you are a strong young woman. 

Thank you for posting this. I was talking with my therapist and I finally told her about being sexually abused when I was younger by my brother’s friend. I should have said something, because it turns out that my brother was also being sexually abused by him. We were threatened by him and we thought that we were protecting the other but we weren’t. This went on for years and I never told anyone, even when my brother broke down and told my parents what happened to him and they asked me and I immediately said no. I wish I had, but I was barely thirteen at the time and I didn’t understand that it wasn’t my fault, and that if I said something, he would’ve ended up in juvie for a while. I thought he would be punished enough with what my brother had confessed but he ended up with a slap on the wrist and I just couldn’t say anything. It’s been about ten years since the first incident (I’m 21 now) and I am still just getting over it. Memories I pushed down and forgot are resurfacing and I’m thankful to have my counselor to help me through this. I also have an awesome friend, and he’s my first male friend actually that I completely trust with this. 

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. This really helps me to put a better perspective on things, and what I still need to do to make me feel safer. 

@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - This made my night.
Not that I’m not taking the topic seriously–I’ve deciding I need to heed my fiance’s pleas to learn self-defense.
But really, that’s f***in funny.

this post made me so sad, the way you put this into perspective proves you are super strong and smart. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

I HOPE THE MAN WHO RAPED YOU ROTS IN HELL. karma is a BITCHand he WILL get his!!! 

your blog was inspirational more power to you!

while i wasn’t raped, i was also in a very abusive relationship for almost three years. i’ve been blaming myself, and wondering what i did wrong. this post made me realize that it wasn’t my fault. it was never my fault. it’s never anyone’s fault.

thank you so much for writing this post. not just for me, but for those who have been sexually abused. i hope that everyone who comes across this gets something out of it.