Recently, I made a list of 10 Dudes to Avoid Like the Plague, and it got me thinking about their female counterparts. So I’ve compiled and created a new list of the 10 girls you should never want to be:
Bride to be Bethany—There’s nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be married; unless she wants to be married for all the wrong reasons. Bethany is one of those women who fall into the category of ‘all the wrong reasons’ because she’s only in it for the marriage itself. Bethany wants to get married just for the purposes of having her dream wedding, dream dress, etc. She may think she’s searching for love, but in reality, she’s just searching for someone to play ‘House’ with for the rest of her life.
Gia the Gold Digger—If you’re friends with Gia, then it comes as no surprise that this girl is probably the most shallow of them all. Gia is content with being a piece of arm candy as long as her Significant Other continues to buy her expensive things. Like a vampire, once Gia has sucked her sugar daddy’s bank account dry, she’ll be on to her next vict—I mean, boyfriend.
Velcro Val—Clinginess can be seen as an art form where Val is concerned. When Val wakes up in the morning the first thing she grabs is her phone to a) check for any missed calls or texts from her honey and b)send her honey a good morning text. For the remainder of her day, Val will most likely be conjoined with her boyfriend at the hip. Essentially, this woman eases to exist when there isn’t anyone to cling to.
Queen Bee Bianca—Bianca believes that she is entitled to everything her heart desires, and if the people around her satisfy those desires I can assure there will be hell to pay. Bianca is a beautiful girl, and typically, it’s that same beauty that has ruined her. As a young girl, Bianca realized the power of her pretty face and has allowed that power to corrupt her. But just remember, all the beauty in the world can’t account for a deficit in personality.
Diane the Desperate—Cousins with Val, Diane is so desperate she’d go home with Screech if she met him at a bar. For whatever reason, Diane believes that she has no other choices in men and must take anything that comes her way.
Insecure Iris—If you tell Iris how pretty she is 3,000 times a day and ensure without a shadow of a doubt you aren’t cheating on her, everything with be kosher. If she loses track of you for more than thirty minutes, however, you will have one pissed off chick on your hands.
Cheating Cathy—Pretty self-explanatory, no one wants to associate with a girl who opens her legs for someone other than her boyfriend.
Green Eyed Gemma—Gemma is the jealous type, plain and simple. As long as her boyfriend never speaks, interacts with or acknowledges another girl, she is perfectly content. But the second she begins to doubt his fidelity, Gemma will be all over him like white on rice.
Paige the Party Girl—Party girls are fun, yes, but they also get themselves into compromising positions quite frequently. They sometimes get so drunk that they black out, and are then left to piece together what happened the night before. Not to mention the hundreds of risqué Facebook pictures Paige must un-tag herself in.
Mother Goose—All the Baby Brians of the world will flock to Mother Goose because she loves having someone to take care of. She doesn’t want children of her own yet, so she’ll settle with babying her man.
Bonus:
Weeping Willow—Tears are Willow’s favorite weapon, and she’ll use them anytime she needs to get what she wants.
Chances are that while you were reading through this article you found similarities between yourself and some of the women I mentioned. Honestly, I can find myself in more than one of them. Like Weeping Willow, I sometimes catch myself crying in order to get my way and have my moments of insecurities like Iris, but I’m still a great girl. We’ve all got our faults, but the trick is to refuse to allow those stereotypes define who we are.
What about you, lovely lady? Can you find yourself in any of these chicks?
guest
ugh…my nickname is Cathy. -__- Definitely not a cheater!
hm…luckily I don’t fit into any of these categories.
daisy / 502 posts
Hilarious! I love this!
guest
I’m Velcro Val & I’m not ashamed. My boyfriend & I have a great relationship.
guest
I can be anyone of these girls at any time. Not sure who I want to be in the end. Paige the Party girl at the moment though.
daisy / 603 posts
I can spot little things I do in some of these chicks, but not enough to go all out and say their personality matches mine or that there is a problem.
For example, Green Eyed Jemma could describe me a little bit because I’m aware of my extreme jealousy issues and have been known to act a bit out of line when confronted with a situation that makes me jealous. However, I also trust my boyfriend and know I don’t have any reason to worry, therefore, I am usually able to reassure myself or feel better after seeking some reassurance from my boyfriend himself.
I could probably also be somewhat described as Velcro Val, since I do like to communicate with my boyfriend pretty frequently, but I think it’s different because I do it for different reasons. I don’t feel that I need to be glued to my boyfriend’s hip and I don’t have any reason to worry while we’re apart. Instead I contact him because I have something to tell him or I genuinely miss him.
I guess what I’m saying is I think all of us can identify with some of these qualities, but as long as they aren’t so over the top that it takes over our whole personality it can be handled and won’t ruin a relationship.
guest
Having not seen the original post of Dudes to Avoid, I thought this was going to be a list of actual people, y’know, like:
1. Anyone on Jersey Shore2. Britney Spears3. Lindsey Lohan
Like that…haha.
daisy / 598 posts
I think the insecure and jealous type kind of go hand in hand. I think overly emotional needs to be added to the list.
guest
What about Little-girl Lilly? The girls who act like a 5-year-old to seem cute and make guys feel manly. (If you watch HIMYM, you know what I’m talking about, haha.)
daisy / 568 posts
Awww how about Debbie Downer?
hydrangea / 54 posts
Ha, I’m a Paige but such a nonparty-er. I mean, I won’t turn a shingdig with my friends but it’s not a par-tayyyyyy kind of event.
orchid / 114 posts
I don’t think I’m any of these!
guest
i am sarah the… solitary? idk, that sounds like a myspace name
guest
Oh geez, Velcro Val.. But I send good morning texts to my entire phone, not just my guy. If I ever get a good morning text it makes me happy, so I send them to who I care about to brighten up their day!
guest
Ugh, I was multiple of these in my first relationship.
lily / 5148 posts
I’m like Val but so is my bf lol But of course, it’s to a small extent and not like that. I’m still my own person. And I do have insecurities but it’s because I’ve been treated so badly and I continue to be treated badly by people I depend on. Can’t escape that now. Though I know a few people like those descriptions and it’s sad really.
guest
Lmao this was great. Otherwise being somewhat of a party girl (but i know when to stop or what parties i shouldn’t even start in) & knowing when to cry..
I didn’t really fit with anything else, thank god. I’m pretty laid back when it comes to relationships. I’ve actually never had a serious relationship (i’m 21) because i’ve been focusing on other things, like going to school to be an animal trainer & have a rescue center. I figure i have a calling so guys aren’t really important right now. At the moment, i just care more about the animals.
guest
I don’t want to be YOU.
guest
wow i know someone who’s like 6 of these..
guest
the only one i can relate to is paige. but honestly i very very rarely party. i went through a phase. and like most things it passed
oh yeah i can def see the val thing happening a little haha.
rose / 807 posts
I am Party Girl Paige… for now.
guest
@twenty_twenty_surgery@datingish - hahaha
sunflower / 352 posts
Haha I’m a few of those .. and my boyfriend thinks I’m like 5 of the above .. ><
guest
great post! I’m definitely a bit velcro val and insecure iris at times. lol.
guest
Haha, very creative, love it!
sunflower / 366 posts
@bAbiiExxPiNay@xanga - -____- same here. i am NOT a cheating cathy.
guest
I’m currently dating Velcro Val and my ex was Insecure Iris mixed with Page The Party Girl. I’m really picking them good aren’t I?
guest
lol hurts when ur name is up there but im not desperate actually the opposite.. and hmm the iris one is interesting since i know a girl named iris that acts like that she doesnt believe she beautiful even though she is and she needs a guy all the time to tell her so
guest
Hilarious. I can’t say I’m truly any of the above. But believe me I can be any of those when the situation calls for it, not exactly proud of it lol.
guest
I can definitely say that I’m none of these with 100% confidence. BUT, I definitely have my flaws…like everyone.
guest
I am Velcro Val and Mother Goose, but my man loves it! He to this day still challenges me to who can be clingier.
cherry blossom / 27 posts
Solo Shelia, a woman so emotionaly, mentaly and spiritualy evolved she realy cant be catogorized.Under cover as your bestie or that chick in the coffe shop that sparks a curiosity you wont tame, her presence like cryptonite to BS. Beautiful, funny, and tempermental. Dont blink and aproach with caution.
daisy / 617 posts
@saia1@xanga - damn, I wish I had the confidence of Solo Shelia.
guest
i’m honestly not trying to sound conceded or anything, but i’m not any of those. @twenty_twenty_surgery@datingish - that’s me right there! that should be added to the list lol.
guest
Haha, I’ve definitely had my Val/Iris/Gemma moments. But I’m pretty sure none of these can describe me as a whole. ^^;;
guest
I think you could have done better on the names…
orchid / 222 posts
One of my guy friends has a fiancee who is a Velcro Val. It’s irritating. He and I are in several classes but he can’t come to a study group without her inviting herself along. Do you know hard it is to do homework with some idiot incessantly blabbing about nothing? And if she has to go do something, such as laundry, he HAS to leave with her.
guest
err not really…the closest wold be the insecure. But, thats only when i’m on my period…which…thanks you birth control…i haven’t had in half a year. & it NEVER gets as far as me thinking my husband is cheating on me. It’s more like…be feeling too skinny and not wanting to be seen in public…or private in the nude xD until i eat a doughnut or something. But, like i said, not really.
Maybe a tiny bit Velcro Val. I say goodmorning to my husband every morning o.O Does that count?
guest
@Lazy_Wazy@xanga - LOL! My husband says that “clingy” is a word people use when they can’t stand the person they are with xD Otherwise, it’s just spending time together. Which, we do a lot of to
guest
I’m a slight Gemma. Heh.
guest
I am pretty mothering as far as doing physical things for another, cooking his favorite things, giving him backrubs, making sure he is comfortable, but emotionally, not so much. I remind him regularly that I am NOT his mother, I am not going to “punish” him or bitch him out for the decisions he makes etc. He is a man, he can do what he likes, if I don’t like it, I know where the door is. He’d probably rather have me stay and fight it out, but it’s not my style.
guest
uh you just named every women who would ever want to date. I’m not in here considering I don’t date and don’t want to.
guest
Ha ha….Screech.
guest
I’ve been insecure and green eyed, but it wasn’t without some provoking and heartbreak. but on the bright side, I’ve taught myself out of those habits. I have yet to test it out, but since I have prior experience I think I’ll be able to catch myself if I fall back into the bad habits.
guest
I can be a few of these girls once in a while, but I believe I’m pretty good otherwise!
guest
cute and i know a lot of girls on that list!
guest
unfortunately yes
orchid / 190 posts
@Eglariel@xanga - hahaha!
guest
i think most people can find aspects of themselves in at least a few of these. a lot of them are just kinda human nature (in the begining most people find themselves a bit clingy to their partner, everyone gets insecure at times, etc…) but i think the key is not necessarily to “never be like any of these personalities at all” but rather to be a moderate balance (maybe except the cheater one haha i don’t really know if i can support that one…)
all in all i’d say this post as well as the one about guys personality types in relationships is pretty accurate-i definitely see it in people- but as long as you’re not a complete embodiment of the exact characteristics of any of these types at all times i think it’s ok.
guest
no one wants to associate with a girl who opens her legs for someone other than her boyfriend.
……..REALLY? ugh
guest
Linda the Loser?
Damn.
guest
The closest I am is Diana. . . . self-explanatory.
guest
Let me just confess… I am a lot of these girls. :/
guest
If people are being honest they have characteristics of some of these categories…. but its a matter of degree and ability to control it. I can be jealous, but I know when to stuff it or make it into a joke. I can also be clingy, with the goodnight, good AM texts, but him too.
orchid / 147 posts
I’m a paige. & a bit of a bianca too, just with charm instead of looks. Shit.
cherry blossom / 36 posts
Now I know what it’s like to be schizophrenic.
And props for the Saved by the Bell reference.
guest
Unfortunately Yes, I can find myself in one of these women but shhhhh.
I won’t share which one.
guest
Your posts are so funny. I love them! And I totally have some insecure iris in me. ugh.
guest
I’m guilty of being a Velcro Val. My boyfriend and I are very close, and we text eachother to say good morning every day, and are constantly together. I’m not ashamed, he’s my best friend and we love spending time together.
orchid / 140 posts
i used to be a cross between insecure iris and gemma the green eyed girl