I feel like this is a topic some people have more experience with than others, but that all of us at some point have dealt with. Having a secret life isn’t just something for American Teenagers (sorry I couldn’t help myself).
Mine was simple. I’d been blogging on Xanga for years, terrified, of course, that someone I knew would find my blog. I would clear my internet history and creep on every friend request I got, before inevitably denying it. I was embarrassed to be associated with a child of the nineties, no offense Xanga. Now, though, since finding Lovelyish and starting to write for it, along with the other sites here like Healthkicker, and Datingish to name a few, I’m sending links to people, I’m liking articles, all that jazz.
But thinking about my time keeping my guilty pleasure a guilty secret, I realized there are people who have much more serious secret lives. People who are in the closet from their friends and family, people who are keeping a secret like an eating disorder, a serious illness, abuse, or familial or financial issues.
Have you ever kept a secret from those around you? How did you cope with it?
daisy / 507 posts
everyone has (:
guest
yes.
my eating disordered life is a secret to most.
it’s not easy coping with it all by myself so 2 other people know.
but I don’t like when the two worlds clash, so I keep them as seperate as possible.
daisy / 699 posts
There are many secrets I’ve had to keep, and a few that no one will ever know. I don’t “cope” – I retain the knowledge that if they were to get out, the consequences would be severe; enough for me to keep my mouth shut.
ranunculus / 3285 posts
Secrets are inevitable.
guest
mmmhmm first i thought it was only a secret to my friends because they were too wrapped up in their boy dramatized lives to ask, but im sure my mom has no clue as well.
but whats a life without secrets huh? i think there are some things left better private.
ranunculus / 3457 posts
I do. For the majority of people, I’m the child prodigy-genius student with a good future. I am, but I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal thought for most of my life, along with ED’s (that thankfully I got over and haven’t relapsed into) and other stuff I don’t mention. I also was not only a victim of abuse but later became the abuser. Right now I’m at the moment of my life where I’ve had the least “secrets”, or at least, I’ve fixed my problems so they’re not even there in secret. But it took me years and years.
I don’t think anyone has as simple of a life as they say they do.
daisy / 727 posts
Xanga is definitely my secret life. I write such personal things on Xanga that I would never say to a person in real life. I’m always afraid someone I know is going to find it and realize all my secrets that I keep in my Xanga. I’m not ashamed of having a Xanga, but I’m scared of someone finding these things out about me after keeping such a clean cut image. Nothing I write is that bad, I just don’t want my life being invaded on by people that I try to let only see a certain side of me.
guest
I suppose my religion is somewhat a secret. Mostly from extended family though. It’s none of their business and trying to get them to understand it would just be a waste of time.
Other then that I don’t really have any big thing that I am keeping from others intentionally. There are tons of things people don’t know about me, but that is because they never ask, not because I am keeping it from them.
Even when I was going through severe depression and cutting it was only a surprise to maybe a few people in the begining. A lot of people didn’t get it but those who had actually been in my house during that time where able to kinda see why I was that way.
sunflower / 392 posts
I definitely have secret life. It’s nothing serious like an eating disorder or abuse, it’s just a part of my life that I can’t tell my family about. Besides, the way I see it, it’s really none of their business. My xanga is pretty private and if my family were to find it, it would be pretty bad.
guest
I do keep my “xanga” life a secret. I have been dealing with depression and eating disorders for quite some time now. Only my boyfriend and therapy teams know in “real” life. I’m recovering, but I’m still battling telling my family and friends. I used to try to keep my site completely anonymous, but I’ve recently put it on friends lock so I could show my true self. I’ve made some incredible friends through xanga. I don’t quite feel like I’m living a double life because it feels like this IS my entire life right now. I’m faking my way through the rest of it.
guest
Only two people in the world know the one secret. On a lighter note…
Most people don’t know I’m trying to lose weight, even though I’m trying to do it healthily. I’m not clinically overweight, just have a couple of extra pounds, so I know some people would criticize me as being anorexic, especially because I’m a vegan and it looks like I don’t eat much sometimes, even though I do. It’s just all healthy, good stuff. : )
guest
i did, but in retrospect, i think it was mostly for the thrill of it. once people found out and the shock faded, i stopped what i was doing. i was just an attention-seeker, really, and i’ll be the first to admit that; now, i really don’t have any deep, dark secrets that would encapsulate a whole other “life” for me…
okay, i amend that statement. i have a secret life that my parents don’t know about, but that’s because at this point, bringing it up wouldn’t do any good. it’s all in the past, and i’m better now.
guest
Absolutely.
guest
xanga is a secret from most people I know in real life.
guest
Yes, in many ways throughout my life. I used to be a cutter for 4 years & I hid that from the world for most of that time. Outside I pretended to be the happy girl everyone knew me as, but on the inside I was depressed, hurt, scared, and suicidal. All I wanted to do was die, I constantly thought about it.
I’m so thankful that chapter of my life is over.
More recently, for a few years now I’ve had to pretend to be a Christian for my dad & church’s sake. I used to be one, but I lost faith and am now agnostic, but I’d get kicked out of my house if my family ever found out.
lily / 5148 posts
@kinamorata@xanga - They are.
guest
This is my secret xanga. My family doesn’t know about my sexuality. I barely just told them about the depression. They don’t know the effects my medical conditions have on me, my self esteem, and my ability to form meaningful romantic relationships
guest
Mhmm.
guest
I don’t have any embarrassing secrets. my family knows about my emotional state and I blurted my thoughts to some of them that inquired because keeping secrets or bottling up feelings is exhausting. most of my family are internet illiterate and don’t even really know how to turn on a computer or even know what a “blog” is
I friendlocked my site, not to keep people that I know out, but creepy strangers(usually males) that I don’t know out
some are cool though.
guest
In my experience, most people don’t care that much about the personal lives of others. They have enough drama and issues going on in their lives to dwell too much on yours. Everyone likes to think their “secrets” are soooo big and interesting. Truth is everyone has secrets and personal issues that are just fine being kept private. My life is very much private. My friends and acquaintances really don’t need to know the complex and intimate details of my personal life unless it will have a direct effect on them. I live my life with a care so as not to have negative effects on others around me. I find that this is best accomplished by keeping your personal life just that, Personal.
guest
Everyone has secrets. They many not necessarily be living a double life, but I’m sure there are things that people don’t want others knowing about them. I have a few secrets, but of course I’m not going to share them for everyone to see on xanga.
Anyways, I love postsecret. It’s a way for people to tell others about their secrets while remaining anonymous.