Editor’s Note: I felt like re-posting this entry from August would encourage some people out there on Lovelyish right now.
As much as I’d like Lovelyish to be drama-free, anytime you combine women (heck, anybody) with the alluring anonymity of the Internet, you’re going to get at least a few people who take their own personal problems out on total strangers. I know I’ve been called everything from fat to ugly to to unintelligent to the C-word! And it’s usually over something silly like someone didn’t like a t-shirt I chose for a post. Anyway, here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t give these people the time of day.
1. They’re not content with something in their own lives, and it gives them some kind of relief to attack other people. If you feel powerless or like you have no control in real life, it can give you a sense of superiority to go online and unleash your frustrations with yourself on others. Remember, healthy, secure people don’t need to go online and curse at random people from behind the shelter of an Internet profile.
2. They’re having personal problems and take it out on strangers. Similarly, if you’re having problems in your life — anything from fighting with your boyfriend to a parent being ill — getting caught up in online drama can offer a distraction and a catharsis for your stress. I know that when I have a bad day is when I feel this almost unnoticable urge to get cranky on the Internet. But then I think about it and try to realize what I’m doing; I don’t know who these people are online, and what I’m getting worked up about it hardly consequential in real life or anywhere. Then I try to focus on tackling the real issues in my life.
3. They have nothing better to do. Some people are literally on this site all day, commenting on every post a few minutes after it goes up. Do they have jobs? Go to school? Just stay home and surf Lovelyish all day? It doesn’t matter, and we’re thankful they’re on the site. But think about it: if YOU were taking every post with the level of seriousness most people reserve for middle Eastern politics, and feeling the need to comment on every single post, you’d resort to being cranky sometimes too.
4. They’re just trolling. Some people roam Xanga and purposely say racist or sexist or nasty things just to get a rise out of you. See previous reason.
5. Regardless of the reason, their comments say more about them than you. If someone has to attack another person (especially on a fashion blog! We’re not fighting over Middle East politics, people), it indicates way more about their personality and how they handle stress and anger in their lives than it says about you and your opinions.
Bottom line, I don’t know you and what’s going on in your life, and you don’t know me and what’s going on in mine. Let’s keep our personal drama and matters out of our Internet lives (vent to your dog, if you need to!), ignore random haters and let Lovelyish be a fun, drama-free site.
*waiting for people to purposely troll this post*
cherry blossom / 27 posts
My thoughts exactly. Internet bullies are everywhere. People sit behind their computer and try to tear you apart. Some of the things that people say are ridiculous and I bet you 9 times out of 10 that if you saw that person on the street or face to face, they would not be so loose with the lips. LOL Anyway me personally try not to let things that people say get to me because I have enough going on in my personal life not to be sucked in by negativity.
LJ
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You forgot something, drama queens haha. Some people just love drama and thrive off of it. I don’t see why people attack you personally, like you said its a fashion site.
cherry blossom / 27 posts
@Ascesion_to_Clarity@xanga - because they have nothing else better to do!
LJ
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Oh snap! Get’em Jess!
rose / 944 posts
Drama? ON THE INTERNET?
Say it ain’t so!
I for one am glad you were the one to write this post.
daffodil / 1975 posts
Also, did you think they disagree with someone and have strong personalities that make whimpy little babies cry because they got called out for being idiots? Just a thought.
However, the list is mostly right.
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Totally. I think there are also other reasons such as miscommunication between the comment or post. Sometimes, I forget about the way I talk to my friends could be totally misinterpreted to someone who hasn’t spoken to me before.
orchid / 176 posts
I agree. Personal attacks over the internet are ridiculous. I’ve been known to state my opinions a little harshly, but there’s absolutely no sense in lighting into individuals.
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haha agreed, love the post
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Agreed.
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@lesjus28@xanga - It might be because they know that they have something sincere and helpful to say. But no matter what the other person is going to snap from complete calm to a pressure cooker that’s been on high too long just from hearing what needs to be said. That’s quite common as well.
I’m guilty of 3 a lot, none of the others. But I’m not female, nor a regular lovelyish reader. I’m just a hetero dude with cloudy intuitions, very strong empathy, and a nearly clear vision of consequences.
dahlia / 2103 posts
Yep, I think that list about covers it! People get really cocky on the Internet and think they can say whatever the hell they want and hide behind anonymity. If people said to my face the things they say to me online sometimes…let’s just say I have yet to deck anyone in the face but it would probably happen.
rose / 917 posts
That is a very accurate list but, I seriously wouldn’t just say that is the internet that is the whole world and why people are mean.
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I love this post. Period.
daffodil / 1622 posts
booo evil people!
tulip / 21 posts
hahah, *like*
ranunculus / 3457 posts
Why would anyone, especially adults, take what is said over the internet so personally? I’ve always believed that the only opinions you should care for are those that come from people you love or people who know you very well… anyone else? There’s too many chances they’re wrong or don’t know enough info to make a correct opinion or give correct advice.
For the record, disagreements don’t equal arguments, and disagreements don’t mean that the person finds you to be an idiot/cunt/whatever. People have a right to their opinion, even if it’s one that disagrees with you. What a boring world it would be if we always agreed with each other; there would be no space for learning, for thinking and developing your own beliefs.
Some people are blunt. Not everyone sugarcoats everything. It’s vastly unrealistic to expect people to change personalities to not offend your sensibilities. Does everyone you know have the same personality?
I think you’re being wrong to assume that disagreements mean the person is being insecure. (See, a disagreement! And I don’t hate you, in fact you’re one of my favorite Lovelyish writers!) You contradicted yourself: you don’t know what’s going on in their lives or vice versa, yet you assume those that disagree with you are pathetic angry people with nothing to do other than troll on a site that’s frankly not even worth trolling on. Why not think that they’re blunt, or they have a personal connection for a topic that makes them very sensitive to it, that they have more experience than you in that area, or something like that? Why immediately assume a negative character flaw? General rule of thumb is to not assume anything about strangers, because they’re… strangers…. for all you know they can be magical superheroes or homeless autistic savants.
I hope everyone here can have such a strong opinion on whatever topic that they can defend it honestly and strongly, even if it means sounding offensive or rude.
But I hope no one actually gets angry over t-shirts and lipgloss…. I rarely read the comments here, but I’m hoping that has never happened… has it?
(I promise to not write essays anymore, at least here. Sorry, academia mode)
orchid / 138 posts
I completely disagree with everything you wrote and if anyone replies to this I’m going to shove my self-righteous opinions down their throat.
sunflower / 310 posts
see, if I wrote this list, it would go something like…
1) they’re cranky
2) they’re bored
3) they have a poor personality
4) they’re PMSing (see:cranky)
5) you’ve insulted them
and you should ignore them because 4/5 reasons have NOTHING to do with you!
orchid / 225 posts
i think there it;s great to have an opinion and voice it. disagreement is fine, hell, i want to understand why you disagree– just explain it in a few sentences. “this doesn’t belong here.” or “lovelyish sucks.” isn’t interesting. you’re blunt? not a problem, i’m honest too– but that doesn’t mean i’m going to be a dick to you.
my problem lies with trolls. and people who comment every post just to say they they don’t like every single one.
and jerks. i think everyone should respect one another because everyone has the right to voice their opinion. if you want to be rude to someone and pick on someone on the web, you are a sad bully hiding behind a screen– i think a lot of the nasty people here wouldn’t say half the things they do in real life to your face. and if they did, they wouldn’t be as popular as they somehow are here. move on from highschool, kids.
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@mmmmichaela@xanga - I actually agree with you
Not everybody that is mean on the internet are “cranky/ trolling / have issues”Some posts I find are utterly stupid and that’s just my* opinion – some people wana set the facts straights that’s all
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do you have a job…or is this your job? because you seem to be on it 24-7 yourself.
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6) Youre annoying.
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…sluts…
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - exactly. I would have said that she was a bitch though.
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I don’t think some people realize they sound bitchy.
I don’t let anything someone says to me on the internet get to me. I also try the same offline, but…
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let’s just make fun of celebrities
instead of individual bloggers.
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@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - What she said. That about sums it all up.
sunflower / 389 posts
I have this to say: Yes.
<3
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Good Post!
lily / 5148 posts
@lesjus28@xanga - I second that..usually they don’t have anything to do.
@mmmmichaela@xanga - I’m actually curious to hear your opinions about it. I don’t agree with this list myself..
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - I agree
hydrangea / 63 posts
And I quote @MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - “Some people are blunt. Not everyone sugarcoats everything. It’s vastly unrealistic to expect people to change personalities to not offend your sensibilities. Does everyone you know have the same personality?”
A-FUCKING-MEN. This is why most people hate me or hate what I say……I refuse to have that much of a filter, if a filter at all. This is also why my “7 Reasons Why Lovelyish Tends To Be Repetitive” post got so much hatred. I think we should all just accept that we have freedom of speech (and attitude, sadly) and get ready for the insults to fly.
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Some people just need to be shut down. It’s not that I’m a pissy bitch, it’s that I don’t like idiocy, and I put it to an end.
daisy / 522 posts
I guess I could fall under the “mean” category since I have left snotty comments here and there when I saw a post or comment I didn’t like. I’m a blunt person. Sometimes, I’m just mean, cuz that’s the way I am. I hate stupid things and stupid people. I have zero tolerance for stupidity. So yes, I can be a mean person. I don’t enjoy sugarcoating things and I’m straightforward and blunt. It has nothing to do with being insecure or purposely trying to bully the writer lol.
And in response to #5, yes I don’t handle situations of stress and anger well. I’m hot tempered, and I say what I want most of the time. I don’t think everyone has the blessed ability to handle stress or anger in a calm manner like some of you may. I’m a feisty person and I get fired up easily- and if I need to tell someone they’re stupid, I will.
But I def agree with you on #3. I’m just bored. I’ve been unemployed for
almost a month now. Thus the hyperactiveness on xanga lol.
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Lovelyish hates ShimmerBodyCream so we should all hate lovelyish ^_^
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@phuck_diz_shiz@xanga - @MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - agreed.
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My issue is when someone disagrees with you about something you’ve posted and they feel the need to call you a name; cunt, bitch, slut, idiot, etc. ALL BECAUSE YOU DOESN’T AGREE WITH ME? I thought the point of these sites were to share your comments and opinions, so WHY is it okay for someone to call me a cunt for not thinking the exact same thing as they do? I especially find it difficult to swallow when I go to their profile and they say they’re, like, 25 years old. Grow up and have a little respect. Half of the things people say online, they would never say to someone’s face.
daffodil / 1579 posts
Haha when I read this post, a certain person came to mind and they ended up commenting. Funny :] But anyways, I totally agree with what you say. If I don’t like an outfit post I’ll say it, but not in a rude way.
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SERIOUSLY. And I love how all the bitches are probably going to comment this post saying, “OH MY GOD I AGREE, THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS”, if they haven’t already. HA. I actually wrote a short post defending Lovelyish the other day.
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It’s not just on here either, any website or forum has people like that. They analyze everything you say, it just gets really old. It’s like you have to re-read your post twenty times before submitting it to see if you have offended anyone, because someone will flip out over something that wasn’t even relative to your point.
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - have I told you lately that I love you?
daffodil / 1569 posts
@canyuhearmeNOW@xanga - yes, and yes
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ahaha, “vent to your dog!”
orchid / 177 posts
Since many of the topics on lovelyish are judgemental towards celebs, their outfits and other topics, it seems like a great place to attract bitchiness and strong opinions. Don’t get me wrong, I am an opinionated person.
I get a little pissed if someone says something bitchy but that person plays no real role in my life, so it doesn’t really matter.
orchid / 177 posts
@bamzilicious26@xanga - LOL. It’s just like the girls who say they hate drama and then start bitching about so and so & who did this and that to them.
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Reason girls on lovelyish are mean to you #6… You just said something stupid or ignorant or discriminatory against other women.
I’m regularly rude to girls who say stupid bullshit like “Real women have curves and stick thin girls are starving themselves and have no confidence… but we should all get along.”
I don’t think it says anything bad about me or my life that I have something rude to say in response to an ignorant statement.
magnolia / 1066 posts
Jessica you are so awesome!!! <3
magnolia / 1066 posts
@HoneyandSaliva@xanga - My thing is that you can express your disagreement without being rude. There are very few occasions where you actually NEED to be rude, and I don’t think many, if any, of them occur on the Internet.
—–
This isn’t against you, or anyone else that said they just need to ‘state their opinion’, but why does everyone feel like it is their personal job to ‘shut down idiocy’? I’ve had people treat me like that when I wasn’t being an idiot, and I was genuinely trying to understand their viewpoint–I wasn’t being rude, disparaging, etc, but this particular person was incredibly rude to me, all in the name of “showing me how much of an idiot I am”. You’re not changing anyone’s mind, so why are you (the general public of “opinionated” girls) continually replying to inflammatory or “ignorant” statements, by your standards, trying to show them how wrong they are? that’s why we have so many hate-fests on lovelyish–people can’t figure out how to disagree and debate without shredding each other to pieces! It’s really not necessary. It’s okay to be opinionated and to share that opinion–like I’m doing now, SANS insulting or bashing!– but there’s a HUGE difference between “I’m tired of hearing about Kesha, can we talk about another celebrity, please?” and “wow lovelyish stop posting about fucking kesha god this site is so reptitive”, or “I disagree, I don’t think these are valid reasons for why people do things (etcetcetc)” and “You’re a bitch and you don’t know what you’re talking about”. We ALL have emotions ladies!
END RANT.
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@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - It’s not that I’m being rude per se… it’s that on the internet blunt = rude. So. To bluntly state my opinion is generally considered being rude.
magnolia / 1066 posts
@HoneyandSaliva@xanga - Yeah, I guess that’s true. I just try to avoid being TOO blunt, because I don’t want to offend people, you know? I just feel like you can express a disagreement without hurting people’s feelings.
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Or perhaps it’s honesty?
Not everything is “jealously”…. trust.
sunflower / 396 posts
1. theyre girls
2. theyre girls3. theyre girls..i think you get the point.
daffodil / 1569 posts
@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - you are more awesome! i always agree with your comments
orchid / 124 posts
AND… sometimes people comment things on the internet because they cannot wrap their minds around the stupidity that’s being published on the web. And there are also those that lack credibility, originality, and state opinions as fact.
Lots of these blogs seem like people think what they’re saying is real, honest, general or right in the public eye. And they’re not always as such. There are a few select blogs on Xanga that are, for lack of a better word, stupid. They’re not fully informed, researched or thought out. And what’s worse is that sometimes they’re on serious topics and the posts then don’t do any justice to important topics that deserve proper coverage. Something that always bugs me is when someone states their opinions as fact. And maybe I come off a bully at times, but it’s because I think there is a need to clarify that the writer’s opinion should not be accepted as the opinion of the general reader. (example: all the posts about ‘what women think/feel/do/say/mean”)
hydrangea / 60 posts
I agree. I don’t often post on lovelyish anymore because none of the comments are helpful or constructive.
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Lol at the last sentence.
Shame on whiners that can’t take trolling. Its the Internet!
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Agreed :l.
orchid / 124 posts
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - I didn’t read everything you wrote (that was a LOT!) but from what I read, I think you missed the point. It’s not that she’s complaining about everyone who disagrees, just those who do it in a disrespectful way. Sorry if you said that and I missed it. I haven’t slept in 24 hours so..yeah
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@Jacques_Duclo@xanga - I lol’d when I scrolled down and saw this hahahaha
rose / 855 posts
I really have nothing better to do. Hey, at least I’m honest.
orchid / 173 posts
I love lovelyish and I’m really nice. But I hate posts like “Omigah 10 things I Hate That People do on Facebook”. Or “Things That So and So does that Annoys Me”. I don’t see the point of that. That in itself is hatred and making a post about it is worse than someone making a mean comment. Nothing bothers me more than negativity and judgement.
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I feel like this is some kind of meta-troll.
magnolia / 1066 posts
@Jessica - aw! well thanks!! hahaha. thats so nice to hear!
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You smell.
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I don’t understand why women who claim to hate Lovelyish so much are the ones you see commenting on EVERY SINGLE thing it puts out. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. How difficult is that to grasp?
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You bitch!!!!!
Hahaha jk ;] but seriously, i think it’s so funny when people get so riled over comments. Or are riled enough to make the angry comments. Personally, it’s hard for me to get upset over a comment on the internet because i almost start seeing internet people separately from real human beings. They act so differently than their face to face selves so why not?
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@xnotxbeautifulx@xanga - me three, fuck that cunt
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Disagreements and arguing via xanga comments never really irked me. But sometimes when an entry is featured and people take strong offense to it as if the entire entry was directed at them, it gets old fast. It’s one thing to put out an idea to back up why one would disagree to a post; it’s another to just dump on the poster by saying it is offensive/stupid and offering no constructive reasoning.
When I feel that worked up over a post, I usually try to step back for a few minutes and force myself to realize it’s basically a public journal entry and not a personal attack on me, haha.
=]
hydrangea / 90 posts
Lulz @ trolls.
magnolia / 1042 posts
@Spearmint - i go with number 1 & 4. i have ridiculous mood swings. but i’ve learned to embrace them. lol. oh and you forgot the infamous “you’re just jealous!” line. lol.
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Most of these things are so true. I think it’s funny that people are telling you that you are wrong about your observations, because most of the time, these are the reasons for why people go out and flame people on the internet. It’s to make themselves feel better, and think that their opinion matters more than someone elses. I mean, I’m a pretty honest and blunt person but I’m not going to resort to name calling, and bashing a person I don’t even know because of something they wrote… they may be a really awesome person so to call them a moron for their own personal opinion is just wrong, but I’ve had it happen to me many times, and I see it happening more and more. I just wish that people could learn to accept that everyone has an opinion, and you’re going to have to deal with it. You may not agree with it, but at least be smart enough to make an educated argument and not just make yourself look highly ignorant.
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LOL UR STOOPID CUZ U READ DIS CRAP N IM SMART CUZ ITS STOOPID
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@xnotxbeautifulx@xanga - @ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - hahaha.
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Maybe if the posters were more eloquent then they wouldn’t have the majority of the readers against them.
hydrangea / 59 posts
@Spearmint - haha!! *clap*
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@pure_dasani@xanga - Amen.
Maybe if the entries were responsibly written to not offend a majority of population, then there would not have been frays.
One other thing I’ve noticed is that Lovelyish tends to change the titles of the original posts submitted by authors. Moreover, the title is always modified into some very outrageous name, causing people to misunderstand the author’s POV or some people just assume right away without reading the entire post that the author is “bitchy,” “arrogant”, “ignorant”, “cocky”, etc… Oh well.
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Just because I @ someone doesnt mean Im looking for an argument, yet they like to think so and go super bitch on me. Ignorance is BLISS*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jr9hPbYmBo
OMGZ.
If you don’t agree with me all the time about everything especially about lipgloss, OMGZZzzzz you Iz mental.
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*smile smile smile* Drama is irritating.
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maybe they just didn’t like whatever thing you said.
sometimes people have different opinions.
sunflower / 254 posts
@jasonwl@xanga - If you have stronger empathy than the average person, you need to learn detachment, and it’s not easy, and will not come over night. But in the long run it helps, I’ve slowly begun to get the hang of it.
@TheCatInTheCradle@xanga - The problem with Datingish and lovelyish is that it is repetitive. Your solution was blog, and I did blog. I wrote a blog about my person flaws for datingish and how to better myself, yet sex got in the way of something that could really emotionally help other people. I don’t hate datingish or lovelyish, I like the sites very much. However, I think they could do a lot more. Lovelyish is a fashion blog. Why not fashion around the world? Through the ages? Why not have some posts about strong women instead of celebreties messing up? Personally I want to see something about Joan of Arc Jane Good All, Oprah, even. Let’s read about Farrah Fawcett whom lost her battle to cancer but never gave up hope. There is a blogger on here somewhere that is transgendered, and I adore her. For a single reason. Depth. Everything she writes has depth. I don’t write something unless it is worth saying. To put it in simplest terms. What if you were in the same room every day, and nothing changed? That would be kind of frustrating wouldn’t it?
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@mmmmichaela@xanga - Haha, I agree. This was pretty stupid.
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Wow. Something that attacks women, for once, instead of constantly emphasizing why guys suck.
daffodil / 1569 posts
@TequilaKisses@xanga - yep, all of our articles are deliberately written to piss everybody off. like when i recommend party dresses to you guys? TOTALLY scandal-baiting and controversial
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@HoneyandSaliva@xanga - That was a perfect example. I totally agree.
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@Jessica - Well, I didn’t mean your own entries, and I admit, the comments left for that particular post of yours were rude and harsh. But what I meant is the other posts where people submitted to Lovelyish, in which the titles were changed. And just like usual, people don’t read the whole post before bashing others.
daffodil / 1569 posts
@TequilaKisses@xanga - many people submit posts with no title at all, or with really vague titles that don’t convey what the post is about. we don’t change every title, but like every other online media outlet, we do make edits to titles in order to make things clearer and more fitting of the post.
daffodil / 1569 posts
@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - we are not just a fashion blog! we make efforts to cover a diverse range of topics. I think if you take a sampling of the 30 posts we publish a day, you’ll see they are not narrowly limited by topic.
sunflower / 254 posts
@Jessica - Yeah, I know that, it’s not just you guys and datinish, it’s the input as a whole.
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@TheCatInTheCradle@xanga - agreed. i like learning from disagreements, so if someone disagrees, explain why. if you don’t explain why, i will assume you have no real reason. =]
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like nicki minaj said people are compassionate about hate or hating on others.. like their consumed with it and people love to hate! even with no reason.. that’s just how the world is..
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lol im always on here because i am bored. ive been sitting on my ass alll week waiting for my finals.
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I’ve never actually seen commenters hating on each other so much as ganging up on the poster!
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uhm. -?
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Haha!
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Hey, hey hey…. internet is srs bsns.
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because that snotty girl, who talked smack about prince william’s fiancee, was uncalled for!
orchid / 177 posts
I’ve actually had very few people on lovelyish be straight up assholes. Overly opinionated, definitely, but that’s okay. The worst I ever got in the xanga universe was on momaroo when I got called a fucktard. It was from an angry asshole who thought he knew how to parent despite not having children of his own.
orchid / 177 posts
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - shit yeah, nobody talks bad about anything concerning Prince Willy!! Lol..
orchid / 177 posts
@TequilaKisses@xanga - That’s so true…there have been countless times that I’ve had to remind the writers of what my post actually said.
magnolia / 1369 posts
@canyuhearmeNOW@xanga - damn rude much? obviously you’re on here all the time to know that she’s on here all the time
&+ ahh i love this post . hit the nail right on the head
lily / 5148 posts
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - Pretty much =) It’s the truth
hydrangea / 77 posts
While I do not condone the use of the c or b-word in any case, I feel that certain posts
a) are offensive. Whatever is being conveyed in those posts could almost always be reworded in a more tactful/diplomatic way. If the response is overly negative from the majority, then there probably is something wrong with the content.
b) are somewhat..petty? Posts about teenage celebs like miley cyrus etc seem to come up regularly. Being 22, the life of these disney idols do not interest me at all.. But I guess lovelyish is trying to appeal to a wide range of people, including tweens who might read the site..
c) focus too much on celebs- who has real or fake boobs (honestly, why would anyone care about the size of their boobs), who’s thin/fat, who wore the most ridiculous clothes when they are performing (obviously,they are performing. this is not street fashion, they can wear outrageous clothes)
That said, there are posts I do enjoy – principally constructive ones which involve advice on matters like fashion (obv), attractiveness, life. Or things that can inspire me, or funny stuff that make me smile.
Anyway, just my 2 cents.
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trolololol
sunflower / 396 posts
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - not finding someone atractive isn’t smack.
sunflower / 396 posts
6) people are idiots and deserved to be trolled
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@splinter1591@xanga - what constitutes as smack in your personal definition then lol read her kate middleton blog and the one comparing 25 year old people, who haven’t had a serious relationship to having asperger’s syndrome, and write a final report with your conclusion
orchid / 183 posts
Good post!
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i’ve never quite understood why people take offense at anything said to them on sites like this…i mean, really? why care what a total stranger says? they get to have an opinion like i do and if i don’t agree with it, meh….
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - LOL Agree.
sunflower / 396 posts
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - i did read it. I kind of agreed too.
sunflower / 312 posts
^__^
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I think that need to respond on posts that intended to manipulate peoples minds. Honestly, all of them intended to do so
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - So TRUE! But instead of thinking that they might be the problem, they just blame it on the commenters having personal issues.
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I don’t think the author of this post can accept the fact that no one is perfect, including herself. Everyone also can’t be liked, including herself. Everyone doesn’t agree on the same things, including herself.
But we can write that off as other people having personal issues.
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i never have anything negative to say about your posts. aaah.
but it will never be drama free lol <3
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@onlyFORaLILwhile@xanga - AMEN! It’s like every post that she makes, she is being a smartass or completely rude.
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I once felt personally attacked in a fashion post. I ranted and blahblahblahed about it, but after I read it, I realized that anything useful my comment had to say was covered up by the personal insults. It totally ruined my commenting experience, because I felt like loser for getting angry over a BLOG.
That was my first and only lesson of “Don’t take Internet so seriously.” Even if someone does post an entry that you feel is uninformed or attacks groups people (maybe your group of people), they are writing out their thoughts, and thoughts aren’t always eloquently formed to please everybody. Sometimes they’re just “thought vomit” entries. That’s totally a part of blogging, so I decided to never get angry over blogs and forums again.
Now, if something rubs me the wrong way, I will say why, but that doesn’t make it okay for me for me to come out swinging.
guest
6) because you’re wrong and awfully daft, and I’ll point it out.
daffodil / 1569 posts
@onlyFORaLILwhile@xanga - no, that’s not really my point; I just think if someone is vicious and spiteful to you over an Internet post, they probably have things going on either internally or in their lives that they’re taking out on you. Same thing as when I used to work retail and people would go ballistic on me because the grocery store didn’t carry white asparagus or whatever. It’s a disproportionate response.
guest
1 & 2 are the same thing. And honestly I really hated some of the stuff you posted and some of it offended me or really angered me so I said so though lately your posts have improved greatly.
daisy / 734 posts
*waiting for people to purposely troll this post*
bahahaha.Overall, it’s pretty true.
guest
@splinter1591@xanga - I think she was just jealous that she is also average looking just like kate, but she wasn’t chosen to be a princess
thus, she devoted a post to critique kate by comparing her with christy, the super model. being catty is “smack talk”
lol
magnolia / 1066 posts
I loved this post in August and I love it now. I wish more people would take this to heart. Not that I’m blame-free, I’ve definitely been an Internet bitch. But people need to realize their words are hurtful and have some sympathy for their fellow human being–even if you think their opinion is ignorant and misinformed and totally wrong, they’re still entitled to it, and it’s not your job or anyone else’s to tell them how “stupid” they are for thinking what they think.
magnolia / 1066 posts
@his1mzperfect@xanga - Lol, case in point, much?
@phuck_diz_shiz@xanga - Yeah but do you have to be mean about it? People dont’ ‘understand that you can tell someone you disagree nicely. You dont’ have to say “Wow you’re a fucking moron, obviously you’re wrong because blahblah”. You can say, “Why do you think that? From what I understand, your point A isn’t right because I read about it beingn so and so …. ” etc.
You don’t have to be mean to disagree with someone. It’s the difference between “intelligent debate” and “pointless argument”.
@onlyFORaLILwhile@xanga - Or you could disagree with/dislike things about posts in a constructive way that doesn’t attack other people or tear them down over stupid, unimportant shit. That would work too
guest
I like how people are arguing over what constitutes being a bitch…while being bitches.
Why lie? Drama is one of my favorite parts of Lovelyish. It’s a beauty site that literally asks us what we think about outfits and makeup. Sometimes I like being catty. *shrugs*
guest
I don’t know why you’re lying to yourself. Lovelyish will never be drama free.
sunflower / 396 posts
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - agreement that the OP also wasn;t more then average. Perhaps bitterness isn’t what fulled the post, but the want of being simmilar to a princess. Doesn’t every little girl wants to be a princes, so I’ve heard
daisy / 597 posts
So… I read the top.. 5 reasons that girls on lovelyish are MEN to you…
I was like… “I think someone’s a man? WTF?”
guest
Great post!
hydrangea / 51 posts
Truth…at least if someone states their opinion respectfully, then I’m fine with it. But if it’s a blatant attack, I’m all OH HELL NAW, HOLD MY EARRINGS WHILE I FIGHT THIS MOFO!
guest
@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - YES! Couldn’t agree more
I get really worked up when it comes to topics that regard the internet in an almost negative connotation.
If you (by “you,” I mean just about anyone) actually take certain comments on the internet seriously, then it shows there is definitely something wrong — not with the trolls or whoever made the comment, but with you. It shows that you’re easily able to succumb to internet insults from anonymous people. How ironic is that? People complain that internet bullies are weak and cowardly because they hide behind computer screens, yet they’re weak enough to believe every pixel of text the person says. (I don’t mean to offend anyone or even sound naive; this is just how I see things.)
I’ve had my fair share of “harassment” or hurtful comments on the internet, no matter how lighthearted or serious they may have been. Was it annoying? Yes. Did I want it to stop? You bet. Did I let those comments get to my head? No way.
No one should have to provide a long list of reasons as to why we should ignore haters on the internet. There’s one reason, and one reason only: it’s the fucking internet. A troll or hater can pop up anywhere, and you can just as easily disappear, ignore them and leave them be. “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
If people say the internet is just an easier way to get in touch with the world, then that’s exactly what it is. The world is filled with unjust people, and the internet is just one way to expose the cruelty society holds.
Now, back to the OP…
“Bottom line, I don’t know you and what’s going on in your life, and you don’t know me and what’s going on in mine. Let’s keep our personal drama and matters out of our Internet lives (vent to your dog, if you need to!), ignore random haters and let Lovelyish be a fun, drama-free site.”
That seems pretty contradictory, don’t you think? There’s nothing wrong with venting on the internet about drama of any kind. You seem to be doing it right now. Besides, if we all vented to our dogs, what would be the point of Xanga?!?!
guest
Great post.