Lovelyish

While the word is deemed offensive by many, I find the women who are labelled as sluts to be more empowered and confident… Except for some damaged souls, I guess… But that’s another story…

I just came out of the closet as a slut on my own page. Frankly, it doesn’t bother me, and I’m happy to try and break the double-standard that men can’t be sluts.

Great post!!!

The way I see it, the word “slut” is just a word that other girls use to call other girls to make them feel better about themselves. Sorta like
Girl: Why is he dating HER? ):
Friend: It’s ok, she looks like a slut anyways.

love this post though (:

I think that people should be judged by how well they follow their own set of morals; not mine. Therefore, if your morals say that dressing provocatively and and having lots of sex (even with lots of different men) is okay, then by all means, dress provocatively and have lots of sex (even with lots of different men). Whether or not I think that’s right or wrong is completely irrelevant. I won’t judge you.

However, there are some girls who are promiscuous and sleep around, and they feel horrible inside, although they’ll never admit it, because their set of morals goes against what they do. And yet they still do it. Those girls are the ones I would consider a “slut.” You, by no means, sound like that type of girl. 

ummm… the way you describe yourself doesn’t sound like what a “slut” is supposed to be. a slut is NOT confident and sexy ..they are easy and trashy. THAT is why they are called a “slut” and not “confident woman”

@GodlessLiberal@xanga - Amen to that!

Well to me…(and to my dictionary) a slut is an immoral and loose
woman; prostitute. If you don’t mind getting called a slut then more
power to you, but I would take it as an insult.

@kayteeiiee@xanga - this is what i was thinking too. hah. 

confidence might= easy. the easiness to oneself to throw thyself at any malecreature

Proper definition of slut? Woman who is sexually promiscuous and can be described as dirty or slovenly.

Sluts don’t have confidence. Sluts have vaginas.

I’d rather be described as charismatic the word slut sounds like an evil bitch. I hate it when people indirectly talk about me as if I’m not there or your friend seemed to be giving a backhanded insult that you turned into a compliment lol

@GodlessLiberal@xanga - Proper term for a man who is a slut? A manwhore. Not as effective, but it’s still something, right?

You hit the nail on the head early on: this is an odd post because the word “slut” can have many definitions, depending on the person(s) and on the context.

By your post, I’d say you nowhere near a slut by my definition. Slutty is constantly sleeping around, hooking up at parties, and often, it’s sleeping around when you’re supposed to be in a relationship with someone. You may be sexually and emotionally confident, but you also have destructive sexual behaviors/habits(multiple partners, new partners every weekend, unprotected sex), and maybe even a higher-than-normal love for attention. No doubt some male or female “sluts” have personal or emotional issues causing them to seek out such lifestyles, but I’m sure others are in it just for the thrill or just because they can. In a college atmosphere, I rarely use the word slut seriously, but when I do, it’s not in any positive way whatsoever.

To each his own. It’s interesting to see how everyone uses the word differently.

@CelestDiggory@xanga - I’m not fond of that term, because manwhore is almost a term of endearment amongst men, but just “whore” is always derogatory. So I’m sticking with slut to be gender-equal.

  Call it what you want, but a slut  means a woman is promiscuous. GOD. I hate people who try to turn a negative word around and make it seem like something different. Just because you WANT it to mean something else doesn’t mean it does. 

i thought a slut meant someone who slept around (NOT for money) and was dirty. because that is what the word means… please dont try to make it into a positive even when your friend wasnt joking about it.

the best thing you should have done was tell her you weren’t not agree with her and make a post

i wish more girls had enough self respect

This strikes me as being a bit off-kilter.

First of all, “slut” is and always has been a derogatory term. We can’t take back “slut”. Can we work to minimize the stigma associated with casual sex? Sure. But in a world where that is no longer stigmatized, why would we need a derogatory term for someone who participates in it?

Second of all, if nothing else, you just don’t meet the criteria.

It’s awesome that you’re bold and confident. We need more girls like that! But the word choice, both on your friend’s part and yours, is flawed.

@Xbeautifully_broken_downX@xanga - thank you.

and yes, while that may be the way you interpret the word “slut” i would say that confidence and promiscuity are completely different. I applaud your confidence but completely disagree with your post.

regardless of your definition, if your friend yelled across a room to you, addressing you as a slut, people would not think of it the way you do and would think of you as promiscuous.

Well, as easily as the word is thrown around these days, I see your point.  It’s hardly often used correctly and more as a way to just be hurtful. 

Your post is the equivalent of me describing Hydrogen and saying how it’s a metal with an atomic mass of 64 and that it’s a solid. Totally wrong! Right?

(Sorry for the nerdy analogy)

Semantics semantics

@Xbeautifully_broken_downX@xanga - agreed

Uh, i always thought ‘slut’ was demeaning. since when did it mean confident? LOL WTF?

slut isn’t any diff to whore in my opinion, they’re cheap and ready to open their legs if u buy them dinner. not even. kinda loose i might add. no thanks, if i was called a slut(unless they were joking), i’d def. get offended. i’d stick with “confident” or “awesome”.

Honestly… I don’t like it when girls call each other names like “bitch” or “slut”. I’d much rather have a stupid dude bash a girl than a girl bash another girl. Ladies please… we have to stand up for each other. If your friend is a dirty slut who sleeps around you should help her with her self esteem as best you can. You might want to pray for her too or whatever it is that you do.

Great post.

Neither do I. I never take any kind of insult personally. 

Yea that’s not what I think a slut is. There’s a difference between being a slut and being sexually empowered. 

To me a slut is someone who lacks confidence and emotional maturity and their promiscuity is more self destructive.  Most people I’ve talked to agree with this definition. 
While I don’t care about your behavior, this is more of a discussion over the meaning of a particular word. Since slut already has a negative connotation, you may want to go with the term sexually empowered instead. 

I LOVE this post. I couldn’t agree with it more.

@CelestDiggory@xanga - Yes.

Heh, somewhat unrelated, but it’s kind of funny to note that some best girl-friends show affection by calling each other things like “slut,” “bitch,” etc. … I always thought that was weird.
Well that’s not something i would ever be called but it doesn’t apply to me. The word just has a bad connotation, so i most likely would be offended.

I like sluts. They’re way easier to get into bed than the little miss ‘Charlie Chastity-belt’ type girls.

Great!

Nice post

to the ‘slut means this and never means anything else!’ crowd… don’t words sometimes change over the years? like gay from happy to talking about homosexual men? or douche which went from a vagina-cleaning spray to an overly tanned jerk who fistpumps and talks about himself all day?

can’t slut change to something else one day?

just throwing that out there for food for thought

Lovelyish stole this from Mancouch….it was originally called “I’m a Narcissistic Slut.”
You stay classy, Lovelyish.

Sorry, a slut is a person who can’t keep their legs/mouths/butts closed. It’s not a term that inspires confidence and intelligence… “confident” and “intelligent” do that. And manipulative… that’s not good in anyone except politicians.

You can’t “own” a word whose sole purpose is meant to insult. If you called yourself a slut because you were proud that you had a healthy sex life, that’s one thing… but you don’t have the power to change its original meaning.

Your friend is being an idiot, but to me this sounds like she was really calling you a slut and you overheard and she went into “Oh shit make this look different!” mode.

@moechataneko@xanga – None of those words originally meant a degrading insult.

@kayteeiiee@xanga - I agree.

I would probably be offended. If she thought you were confident and such, she could’ve just said that instead of insinuating something else.

lol are you retarded? a slut is a whore. if you WANT to be a slut, go ahead but everyone else isn’t gonna see it as “confident.”

False self-confidence.

LOVE THIS!!!! If youk now you arent a slut, being called one really isnt thatbad.

What you are doesn’t sounds like a slut to me. Maybe your friend should meet some real whores and fix her definition of them.

i rather call myself a skank. Not currently but when i think back of the year I was trying to gain experience, i refer to it as my “skanky days” I don’t get why so many of you broads are making such a big deal over it. Quit talking shit and mind your business. 

“they’re cheap and ready to open their legs if u buy them dinner.”Yeah, name a women who hasn’t done that.. even with their boyfriends. You have to give it up if you want something, happens all the time with married folks too. Want to go out with your friends to a concert but the hubby won’t let you? You give him some and you get it your way. We’re all whores in a way. 

kudos to you <3

I’ve never thought slut meant confident…o.O  Always sounded trashy to me.  You don’t sound trashy, so, to me at least, you’re not a slut.

So basically what you’re saying is that the real meaning of the word is wrong, and it should be a positive thing? I don’t think so. I think you are a little mixed up. The actual meaning of the word slut is: “Adirty,slovenlywoman. Animmoralordissolutewoman; prostitute.”

Rage For Love

It’s cute that you don’t mind be called a slut (

Slut

is a pejorative term meaning an individual who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally applied to women and used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement, meaning “dirty or slovenly.”)  I don’t know how many people would take you seriously if you used that word to describe yourself. Find a word that better describes the confident woman you are because SLUT just isn’t cutting it.

you’re not a slut at all. none of these characteristics describe a slut. idk what your friend was talking about…

@Miz_Runi@xanga - agree

I think anyone who uses that term, 9 times out of 10, means it negatively, but I wouldn’t take offense to it either because there are a lot of people out there who are judgmental bitches and it’s not worth your time to get upset about what they say.  Besides, what good does it do to call someone a slut and why do some people feel it’s their place to do so?  There are a lot more productive ways to expel carbon dioxide into the atmosphere besides insulting people.

It’s just a word, and it gets thrown around so often I don’t think it even is that terrible these days.

As you said, most girls that get dubbed “slut” usually the confident girls that aren’t afraid to take initiative.

Um… what?

dictionaries ladies

As stated above, a slut is a promiscuous woman. That actually often belies a lack of confidence. 

Lol.  I’ve never met a slut who was confident and attractive.  They tend towards the other side of the spectrum.

@GodlessLiberal@xanga - Agreed.

As far as this post, it doesn’t sound like your friend goes by the same definition of slut as most do.  I would take it very offensively and i think it is derogatory and degrading.
But if you are truly not offended and not just saying you aren’t…. great. 

“Slut” is quite a derogatory term. It means an immoral woman or a prostitute. You have clearly stated that you are neither of those things. Your post does not make sense. Slut isn’t just some slang term people throw around to hurt other people; it actually has a proper meaning, and personal definitions are not really viable. 

I would not be proud to be called a slut…  Slut does not mean confident woman/man.  It means trashy, easy, promiscuous, prostitute-like woman/man.

Sorry but that’s what it is.

You’re not a slut you’re a confident woman!

But if you want to own the word slut and make it your own, that’s your prerogative

I don’t think ‘slut’ means confidence. I think it means the total opposite. Sluts to me are people who sleep around because they are starved for attention & affection; they need to use sex because they lack a sense of self. They need other people to give them value and are nothing without using sex to give themselves worth. 

I think having self confidence and sex appeal just makes you lucky, and awesome. Congrats. Your friend sounds really jealous and I think she needs to rearrange her word usage and redefine what sluts are. If she goes around and says “Girls who are sexually attractive and independently confident are sluts,” she’s going to make some serious trouble for herself. 
You shouldn’t allow yourself to associate with a word of such negative conation. You are really confident and self-situated – work it and be proud!

@Crossed_Out_Name@xanga - agrred! this post is stupid.

I once told a guy that i couldnt wait until summer to dress like a slut again… he was slightly taken aback but he remembered me saying such an oddball thing months later & he prolly still does. Nothing is better then being able to leave someone with a memory they can’t forget without doing something too crazy   

Good post.

i think you’re an idiot for equating a degrading word like “slut” to confidence, sexuality and appeal.  they’re not synonymous.   “slut” implies a person with little self worth.  what you’re describing is a confident, attractive woman.

lolll. okay, whatever floats your slutty boat, slut

Nope. Not a slut. A slut is a woman who has fully embraced the reputation of a promiscuous, up for anything, almost-prostitute who specializes in getting men laid. She just doesn’t call them clients yet.

Uh. A slut is someone who sleeps around. Simple as that. If you’re proud of being a whore, good for you. Personally, I find it disgusting. I would never in my life say that a slut is a confident, attractive person. No way. Confident people don’t need to sleep around, or whore themselves out to feel good about themselves. Jesus, what is wrong with this generation? How could anyone EVER be proud of being called a slut?

This is freaking ridiculous. EVERYONE knows that a slut isn’t any of these meanings. It’s some girl that can’t keep her legs close, and fucks anything with a dick. Why the hell would the term slut mean someone being confident?!!? Freaking stupid. Sluts are trashy. But if you want to be proud of being called that, go right ahead. Just know that your definition of slut is wrong. 

Since when did it become acceptable to call ourselves these bad words? No respect at all. 

Maybe people should read the dictionary for definitions rather than making their own up. Why would anyone want to be called a slut, or a bitch, or twat or anything like that? They’re all meant to mean bad things… not good things.

Um. I like how you take a word that has a negative connotation (and denotation) but since you see certain things in “sluts”, and they are personality traits you have, you make it something “positive”. Since when is being manipulative a good thing? I’ve also never heard the word “confidence” used with being a slut. I generally find “sluts”, as a general term, to be girls highly LACKING in confidence because they feel they need sex to make up for something else lacking in their lives.

Also I find it hilarious that you say you “dress like a street walker” but you dont “dirty your name” Lol, okay. Why are you okay with dressing like a prostitute? I mean if that’s your personal style, okay whatever, but you can’t change the socially accepted definition of slut just because you don’t want to have a negative word associated with yourself.

Regardless of what “slut” means in your fantasy world, people aren’t going to be using your defintion in calling you one. And hey, if that doesn’t offend you, okay. but I would be hurt and offended if people accused me of being loose, easy, and trashy–and I dont’ even dress the part.

This reminds me of how I used to have a friend that called me “bitch” “ho” “whore” etc allthe time. She said it as a joke, but since when is it okay for girls to start using these negative words in affection? They’re not affectionate terms! They’re mean and degrading and disrespectful. Why are we okay with calling ourselves these horrible names?

Sorry to sound like a bitch, I believe you when you say you stick to one guy, but “slut” is a negative word whether you like it or not. I don’t like that girls throw the word around but you can’t change the meaning just because you want to justify your actions/style of dress/personality/whatever.

You are not a slut.. sorry to disappoint you. At least not by my definition and quite a few other girls..

Like a lawyer doesn’t mind being called a lawyer.

bahahah. love youuu!

The way you describe yourself in this post doesn’t sound slutty to me. You just sound like you know who you and and you have some confidence in yourself. Which is great in my opinion. 

Um.. A slut, by definition, is a dirty, untidy woman and/or one considered sexually promiscuous. A woman prostitute. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

So, if you haven’t slept around, you’re not a slut. I don’t think you understand what words mean.

And, if that’s you in the picture, I don’t see how you can at all be considered a slut. You don’t look like one, honestly. Sorry, harsh, but true.

@polarNight@xanga - Agree and @beckieintoyland@xanga - agree!

@CelestDiggory@xanga - @Ivory -  thank you, i was wondering how to convey this. words do have actual meanings, it’s not just a matter of whatever we decide they mean. this is why people have problems comunicating.

Half these girls are agreeing with you probably because of the fact that they too are called “sluts”.
Sluts, in everyone else’s view, is someone who sleeps with a lot of men and has no morality around what they do with themselves, and the men they may hurt.
The way you described yourself, that’s not a slut, that’s just someone that most girls probably don’t like because of THEIR lack of confidence.

slut is a degrading term. i’d never in a million years call myself one, especially proudly. and if anyone else called me one, i’d be offended because i hold myself to higher standards than that. yes, i’m confident. i will speak in front of a large crowd, talk to total strangers, and speak up when nobody else will. but, that doesn’t make me a slut. it makes me an extrovert who is self-confident. 
i’ve always associated sluts with whores, except sluts don’t get paid. so,show a little self-respect. and like a lot of others have said: don’t try to turn such a negative, degrading word into a positive thing, because it’s just not.

@ionekoa@xanga - Not a problem I hate when people turn words like this into something of endearment or something to be proud of. 

I wasn’t aware slut had different meanings. Different connotations maybe?

But if someone calls a girl a slut that person doesn’t mean that girl is confident and sexy. The person means the girl is trashy, sleezy and easy. But if someone calls you a slut and you want to take it to mean empowered, confident and sexy, you go right ahead. Just know that’s probably not what they intended it to mean.

@ceekh@xanga - lol

@Yurmumsavich@xanga - Uh, no, sorry but that doesn’t work that way with me. First of all, I wouldn’t even be in a relationship if the guy thinks he has control over me.. especially if it’s something stupid as “going to a concert”. He doesn’t like it? Well, I’d go anyways whether he likes it or not.. or find another way for him to give in ex. cook him dinner.. kinda sad if girls are willing to give sex as a trade-off, even if they are in a relationship. And I’m not trying to sound prudish.. I love sex, we all do, and if I’m going to have sex with a guy, it’s for the right reasons and because I WANT to. I don’t use that shit like some form of payment like sluts do, thanks.

Sluts have no self-respect, they’re easy, and have multiple sex partners for the wrong reasons. 

You think “slut” is a term used for confident and empowerment? go right ahead dear, and describe yourself as a “slut” during a job interview (other than the job being a hooker, stripper, porn star, etc.) and see how that goes for you
People are ridiculous.

@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - so words can change meanings, but once it’s a degrading insult it’s stuck?

sorry that sounds sarcastic but idk how to word it so it doesn’t on the internet. i don’t mean it that way, i’m genuinely wondering if there’s more to that? like some sort of logic behind that or something i don’t know about the way language works.

@Xbeautifully_broken_downX@xanga - this is basically what i was thinking.

I absolutely disagree with this post.  

I did a QUICK google search on the definition of “slut”.

here is what the first three results were….  everything else was exactly along the same lines.

****************************************************************

1.   A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.

2.  Slut or slattern is a pejorative term meaning an individual who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally applied to women and used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement, meaning “dirty or slovenly.”[1]

3.  slut (slut)

noun

<li> a careless, dirty, slovenly woman; slattern<li> a sexually promiscuous woman: a derogatory or insulting term

****************************************************************

Read those three definitions carefully…

now read them again….

THOSE definitions are what people associate with the term slut.
THAT is what someone is saying about you when they call you a slut.

maybe your friend didn’t mean it in that manner… but who she is telling it toowill…

I
often get described as confident, out going, friendly, approachable,
etc… however people use THOSE terms when describing me…

you should encourage your friend to do the same.
or perhaps reevaluate why people view your confidence etc. as a “slutty” attribute.

Dude, I totally disagree with that definition. “Slut” has never meant simply personable or amiable. It has to do with promiscuity (sex with multiple people). “Slut” is meant as the d e r o g a t o r y way of referring to such a person. To me, sleeping with multiple people EVER is slutty (note:for both women AND men!!!). I think the law of marginal utility applies to sex. The more of it there is, the less valuable it is. The more people you give it to, the less your sex is worth.

Sorry, I HATE promiscuity.

People will call you all sorts of things, but if you’re proud of who you are then no words will ever matter.  Live with Pride with a capital P.

uhm…… no.

first of all…… sluts and whores usually don’t have much confidence actually, they may act like they do, but deep down inside they’re acting the way they are because of some emotional reason, they need to feel wanted, or some nonesense. think about it, a truly confident woman wouldn’t just have sex with anyone and everyone. it would be more of a chase.

and second of all what exactlly did your friend say? because if all she did was describe these listed characteristics…. i doubt she meant you were a slut…. cause those characteristic do not describe a slut.

doesn’t sound like you’re a slut to me.. sluts are dirty and easy, you just sound confident.

@kayteeiiee@xanga - Exactly what I was thinking when I read this?

Guess I’m a slut! Lol. I think this is more an issue of being an “attention slut/whore”. We all know there are two types of those: people like you and I, and the real attention whores who really just want to start sh*t out of jealousy of people like us.

Own your confidence girl, and realize that your friend has some serious insecurities. Being confident doesn’t make you a slut in any definition.

@ceekh@xanga - that was a great analogy, actually. kudos.

When I call someone a slut, my definition is an easy skank that’ll easily open her legs/mouth for anyone. I do NOT take it as a compliment. At all.