From the way celebrities are turning to the Home Shopping Network, you’d think it was the hippest place to be since Chateau Marmont. And yet, there’s still some downright fugly stuff for sale from the perky ladies at HSN. Let’s investigate.

DG2 Embellished Sequins and Studs Long-Sleeve Tee, $69.90. (above) From the Lady Gaga by Kathy Ireland collection?

Robertson LA Reversible Turtleneck, $59.90. REVERSIBLE? You mean it gets better than this boob-smothering leopard bib?!
WOW! 2 classy looks for the price of one! Perfect for your next walk of shame, right?

IMAN Global Chic color block dress, $49.95. My hips would look SO GOOD in this.


DG2 Stretch Moto Jeggings, $49.90. Pleather jeggings with an elastic waistband? I’ve been waiting my whole life for that kind of figure-flattery!


Men’s Black CZ Sterling Silver Skull Cluster Ring, $49. Don’t tell my boyfriend I’m getting him this for Christmas, you guys.


Bellini Genuine Leather Snakeskin Mule, $69.90. Says one reviewer: “I gave these mules 4 stars because I would have liked the entire mule in snake without the color coordinated elastic on the instep.” So much wrong with that sentence.


Clever Carriage Springbok Hobo, $669.90. Ok, besides the fact that this is made from REAL South African springbok skin, which is cruel, it’s just all kinds of likely-to-shed fug.


Jean Jacket with Handpainted Floral Design, $39.97. “RECEIVED THE JACKET TODAY AND I WAS SURPRISED AT THE ROSES. IT LOOKED BEAUTIFUL ON THE VIDEO AND THE ROSES LOOKED LIKE THEY IRONED THE ROSES ON THE JACKET. I WEAR LARGE ON ALL OF HER JACKETS BUT THIS I WAS NOT HAPPY. THE ROSES ON THE JACKET LOOKED CHEAP. SORRY DIANE. SO TODAY I SEND IT BACK.


TELIO by Doris Panos Starfish Crystal 2-Tone ring, $59. Excuse me, ma’am, but there seems to be a mini spaghetti monster attacking your hand.


Colleen Lopez Crinkle Georgette Blouson Top, $24.90. I’m so glad there are these fun airholes in my pink polyester to air out my biceps.


Have you ever bought anything from HSN, Lovelies? Fess up!