Ladies, we have such a plethora of options for Halloween costumes these days. I mean, you can be a sexy nurse, a sexy pirate, a sexy Lady Gaga, a sexy teacher, a sexy Alice in Wonderland…the chances to bare cleavage are endless! If you want to be creative with your plunging necklines, though, check out these costumes that were inexplicably given the “slutty” treatment by the Halloween powers that be.
Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. (above) Cowabunga, Michelangelo! I want to put my hero in her half-shell, if you know what I mean. ($55.99)
Sexy Skunk Costume. Because nothing makes a guy say “oooh, baby” more than making him recall the time his dog got sprayed and he spent all night bathing her in tomato juice. ($130.34)
Sexy Straight-Jacket Costume. Don’t wear this unless you’re ready for the onslaught of comments from d-bag guys about how all women are crazy. ($44.99)
Lucky Charm Pasties set. Um…what are you supposed to be, exactly? Please don’t sit down on that bar stool, ma’am. ($56.95 for some adhesive shamrocks)
Sexy Chicken Girl costume. Come here, baby. I slaughtered you this chicken. Waffle fries?
Sexy Girl Scout costume. I’m thinking we should probably avoid sexualizing the Girl Scouts. ($61.95)
Sexy “Barista Babe” costume. If your costume has to tell people that you’re a “babe,” you’re probably not. Just sayin’. ($39.60)
Sexy “Texas Hold ‘Em” Costume. I don’t get it. I mean, I get it, I just…sigh. ($59.99)
Sexy “Remote Control” costume. Hey baby, does that thing come with a “mute” button? ($45.99)
Sexy Viking Costume. RAWR! I have come from the land of the ice and snow, but no one taught us how to dress for the weather in this here Greenland. ($67.09)
Sexy “Gold Digger” Costume. I mean, I guess if you’re trying to be a shameless gold digger, you SHOULD act sexy in order to land that gross old rich guy. Right? Maybe this costume is diabolically genius. ($34.99)
Do you wear sexy Halloween costumes, Lovelies? Are some acceptable and others not?