Lovelyish

I really love these!! Great tips =)

oh college. good times.

So you’re looking for a relationship, yet randomly banging college guys. (late night hookups?) Wow, sorry that didn’t work out…

I think dating in college can go two ways. The one aforementioned here, the serial hook ups. But then again, many people find their future spouse at college. You get what you look for. I think anyone with any common sense knows they won’t find their husband banging a different Delta Gamma Whatever each weekend. And anyone who can’t figure that out probably shouldn’t be at college.

My boyfriend and I have been together long-term, and I really hope we can stick it out throughout college…he’s talking about not even going to college, so maybe we won’t have that problem. If he does do college I’m gonna make him go with me though, because I have scholarships to Duke and I’m not giving it up when he’d be going to a community college anyway. 

Yea college really isnt the best place to meet guys.

@Murphy_Rants@xanga -  I agree.

I’m glad you said that this may not apply to some people, because that’s true for me. I met my boyfriend of two years at a party my freshman year in college, and he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m sorry you didn’t get your dream guy.
One thing I want to say though, is that although most guys in college only want a hookup, some actually want to find someone they can date too. Yes, be careful about one night stands and such, but don’t assume every guy you meet in college is going to be that type of guy. You may end up ruining a good relationship by assuming that.

My SO has been mine since we were freshman in high school. I am now a junior in college. So yeah… doesn’t apply here.

I love this article! Thank you a bunch. I am in college and am not a party girl and WAY single. Thanks again!

“dating” in college seems like trying out a bunch of people before settling down, rather than selectively choosing (from the start) a supposed best match for yourself. I want to meet a bunch of people and get close to them/know them well throughout the next 4 years I’m about to face, so I’m excited for “new fish in the sea” to choose from. But most of them will definitely be my friends first… IF that’s possible. Since people are aware of the overall college “dating” scene, this may cause people who only want meaningful relationships (like myself) extremely cautious–which is not good if you want to meet people. I worry that i’ll make mistakes.. fall into temptations..etc. but still, super excited.

btw thanks for your college survival guide, i look forward to these entries all of the time

@MangoWOW@xanga - nooooooo i was hoping to meet my husband there T_T

college guys are dogs.
guys are dogs.
period.

eff em.

I refuse to fuck around mindlessly.

Bahaha, contrary to popular belief, SOME college students are capable of maturity in relationships. 

I went to a community college. Turns out a couple of guys I went to high school with decided college was the perfect time to try to get me to ‘hang out’ at 3.30 in the morning because ‘we’re both lonely & have never really talked much, and since we’re both awake it’s the perfect time’.. hmm..no. He than told me that I was lame for refusing his ‘kind’ offer & hasn’t spoken to me since.

My mom also works at the college I went to..Once a guy recognizes you from a teacher randomly telling you when she’s off work & calling you honey & makes the connection that you’re her daughter, there’s no way in hell that they will try anything with you. Guys don’t even talk to me there…except the old ones.

am i the only one who got the latter of the two?

Interesting.

Number 6 applies to high school as well.

I disagree with this. I’ve met guys in college that have been looking
for relationships, mostly in class and through friends. And I know a number of people that did meet their husbands in college. Not every guy in college is a jerk, and going in assuming that won’t help you find “the one.”

Yea most college guys are like that. I haven’t really hooked up with any guys because I’m not ready for it. My biggest advice is don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Hopefully I’ll feel comfortable eenough some day to be with guys I don’t know super well but not right now

@CHRiSTiNE_x@xanga - ha ha. she did.

oksorry, could not resist =_=

I’m in my third year and somehow managed to avoid all that drama. I’m going to graduate with my dignity intact.

This is completely true. It’s so difficult to meet a decent guy in college

My cousin just married the sweetheart he met in college.  If you look in trashy areas (like frat parties), yeah, you’ll probably find trashy relationships.  So look somewhere else.

You don’t go to college looking for love. You just happen to find it. I’ve actually met a lot of great guys at uni (then again my uni is nerd central, not a party school), and if I didn’t have my fiancé, I’d have plenty of good choices.

Or you can just not bang guys who are a-holes or refuse to even have a friendship with them.

AGREE AGREE AGREE
This isnt something that just happens in campuses. This happens, if you are a a college student in general. hahaha~
I mean, hookups are fun, but once rumors start going around and if you develop feelings for the guy, it gets ugly

looks like we’ve had some of the same experiences. i can second that the awkward run ins are horrible. especially when the guy is a mega douche. then it’s just plain horrible.

Thank youu! I’m a Junior at University of Massachusetts and this pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Okay. These college survival guides that have been making their way here are crap. It’s called common sense.

@CHRiSTiNE_x@xanga - amen.

haha ohhh college.

haha everything is so true.
I’ve never gotten a boyfriend before and wanted to get one in college, but seems like i’d have to wait for a looooonnng time.

yeah you’re probably going to a party school… it also depends on the college you go to… as i was told…

thank you soo much for your post! i leave in 11 days for freshman year and i was kinda looking forward to settling down with more mature guys…yeah, not so much. but your tips are deff gonna help me this year!

This is actually VERY true.
Exactly what I learned in college too. literally.

well said.

I’m kind of in that boat right now. No one wants anything too serious in college because there are just so many options so what you end up with are people being lead on until someone better comes along. I’ve heard of true love in college, even seen it once, but it is defiantly the minority. 

Be optimistic, but do be cautious as well.  Put yourself first, if you sense something not right, then do no proceed with that person.

I’m sure there are some nice people in college. Try joining in clubs of interests, or you might eventually get to befriend some people from intriguing class discussions. You might eventually fall for a person’s intellect shown in class.

College where you live must be a lot different from “college/university” in Austraila.

there is not one person i know who is having that problem, most of them have found a person and started a relationship (all of which are going great), They were already in a long term relationship before college started (me included) or they simply aren’t interested in any kind of relationship yet.

But then again, we don’t have “frat’s” at all, so maybe that’s where everything changes?

Umm. I met my current husband in college.
I also had several friends meet their current spouses and fiances in college.
Sounds to me like you just weren’t looking in the right places. Don’t be such a downer. College can be a great place to meet someone special if you look in the right way.

like someone said here, “you don’t go to college looking for love. You just happen to find it.”
found my bf junior year of college and it turned out to be relationship. 

I think that’s mostly just freshman year of college.  Most (definitely not everyone) settle down in the coming years.

@Aprimant@xanga - eep! Duke is my dream school! 

I definitely met my guy when he got out of college. 26 years old, so he understands my 21 year old ways but does not party quite as hard. It sure is a good mix.

my ex-almost fiance- changed when he went away to college in a not so positive way… thank god for my maaaannnn

My tip: Don’t bump uglies with greasy looking guys at parties to avoid getting STDs. 

yeah, i sympathize. i remember i said i wanted to find love when i first came to college, they laughed and said “Good Luck”. realistically, i don’t think its easy, and i definately didnt even find a fragment of love in college, so i looked elsewhere. that worked out a lot better,xo

than again i was impatient. i was only in college for 4 months, and decided to try other options. this one guy was cute, and that class was ending in a week, and so he ‘had to talk to me’ which was kind of cute and flattering (and he even sat by me and shared his coffee/hot cocoa drink, and asked me what ethnicity i was.. since i guess he liked it:)), but he was too late. thats what happens when u hesitate.

I met my boyfriend the first week of freshman year in the dorms. He was rooming with someone I knew from high school. We’ve been together for over a year and a half so far. I guess I was pretty lucky to say the least

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. ESPECIALLY number six. Same goes for if he knocks on your door at 3am…that’s all he wants.

The college I attend is much more dating-friendly.  I actually first became “official” with my boyfriend after we drunkenly made out at 5am.  I know lots of couples who have met in college and are still together.

Nice tips. A lot of girls do need to realize these things. And also not to start college while you’re in a relationship.

5. No matter how drunk you are and how cute the guy is, don’t fall for his pathetic game. You will start running into him all over campus. The awkward, “I’ve seen you naked before and now we can’t even look each other in the eyes” is no fun and well, awkward.

^ahaha i’m still dreading running into my end of the year one night stand. unfortunately, I go to a very small liberal arts school.. it’s impossible to avoid anyone, and everyone knows each other’s business.

From what I’ve seen (this is my senior year under my BA program) guys closer to graduating are a little more honest about their intentions.  There are guys out there who also attend college looking for a girl to get his Mr. degree but they don’t really tend to come about to that conclusion until about their senior year.  By then they have had a few years of playing around and are ready to settle.

My advice, enjoy the crazy random hook ups, making out with new guys every month, and having fun just seeing and dating everyone for your first few years of college.  Serious relationships tend to wiggle their way into odd places and times anyway, and you’ll need that time to study.  Once you get to your upper years, then look around for long hall relationships… the guys will be more serious about their intentions, and you’ll be more confident in what you’re really looking for after you’ve been with and met all the losers in your first few years.

just don’t fuck frat guys, especially if you’re looking for a relationship. just like what was said before- that should be common sense. 

truuue story.

Meh. I made it through my freshman year with my high school boyfriend, and long distance at that. I’m not scared.

It often depends on where you go to college. For instance–I go to a liberal arts school with less than 2,000 students. Yes, hookups happen, but in general the people who go to this school are both serious about academics and about relationships. I know a good 10 couples who are engaged or married who have just graduated, and I can’t begin to list the “long-term-relationship” couples who I am friends with. Heck, I am currently living with my SO of a year and we’re still in college. Certain environments breed certain expectations.

I’m starting college in 3 weeks…thanks for the tips!

I would say that this is very true for the most part in college. I.e. why I made myself unavailable and made it clear that I was a Christian (that is, I wouldn’t put out) to guys. I’d be friends with them, but they knew better than to bark up this tree. However I did find my bf at college, however this was within an evangelical Christian subculture that dates for marriage and often gets married right after school ends. So. We’re kinda weird like that.

Ok it’s not like you’re exploring all your options.  Not finding good guys at frat parties? Duh. 

I agree with this post almost entirely, but I would like to point out that the best advice is to go for older guys, and I DON’T mean the ones with reputations for hooking up with tons of freshman girls. I mean the ones who have already had their fun and are looking for a real relationship. I was fortunate enough to finally find that guy after wasting time with the other types for a year.

I always figured college = nonstop partying and hooking up. I’m going to school WITH my boyfriend and we don’t .. party. We don’t cheat and fuck around. I think you could very well find a great guy in school if you’re the type of person that is at school for the right reason .. that is, getting an education. If you are committed to doing well in school, you can meet a great guy who shows the same kind of committment. I think it’s such a waste for people to go to school expecting to party, meet a “good” guy, AND keep up with their classes. You’re PAYING to drop out, and that’s just so stupid to me. 

well its the typical college right, mybe what youre after isnt what others are looking for right now, well in that point of their life :/

I would never date a guy I met in college. First off because I have a boyfriend ahaha and second, he’s already graduated.. which means he’s not into fucking every girl he sees and is ready to settle down.

Thanks for the post!

“I’ve seen you naked before and now we can’t even look each other in the eyes”

I don’t understand why seeing somebody naked makes you unable to look in their eyes?…

I’ve seen a lot of people go into college looking for relationships and ending up with these kinds of “relationships.”

Thankfully I found my perfect guy completely on accident.  I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart and I met my SO through a mutual friend when we were meeting up for lunch.  We just clicked and it’s been perfection ever since.   So obviously not all guys are looking for a booty call, but I won’t deny there are a LOT of guys who are.

It really depends on where you look for guys. I’m sure the experience described in this post is what a lot of people deal with, but I wouldn’t want it and it’s not been my experience. For those who are looking for a meaningful relationship, you just have to be patient and/or look in the right places and you’ll find one.

if your going to parties and getting drunk do you expect to find your future husband really? and how is this different than hs?

Uh… dude. Even life after college is a bit like this. If you’re banging dudes and obliging their 3am texts… Maybe you should reevaluate.
Also. I know several couples who ended up married after they had drunken hookups. Strange, but hey, it worked for them.

If you don’t want to be a slut, I’m pretty sure your alternative is immediately obvious.

@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - right? that’s about all I got out of this.

@awoobaybee@xanga - UCK. Dont listen to this. Listen to your common sense, and leave high school in high school. Also, make GOOD friends- don’t make friends with retards. Go to class. Don’t eat junk food all the time.
You’ll be fine.

One of my best friends met her long-term boyfriend (I think they’ve been together 4-5 years now) at a party.  Of course, she didn’t do anything with him right away… he asked her on a date from there.  My last boyfriend lasted nine months, and I still think would’ve lasted longer if things hadn’t happened… but again we didn’t do anything right away.  When we had our first kiss was when he asked me to be his girlfriend… soo…. I think the key is don’t do anything physical right away.  You can meet at parties and hit it off, but go on a few dates with each other.  But overall, yeah, it is kind of difficult, especially the first couple of years because everyone’s still out of high school.

My story is really the opposite I went into college thinking nobody would want a serious relationship I ended up meeting a really great guy who swept me off my feet and we were together for 9 great months. Several of my other friends are also in committed relationships with people they met in college. 

Good advice. My 1st relationship in college I ended up being treated like a booty call by my “bf”, but he eventually dumped me, and now I’m with someone else.

Thesis: Stop being a slut, you stupid bitch.

Can’t help but to agree with you on this post.. lol. Jerks……….

If i EVER get out of this town, I’ma be going on adventures and such… not hook-ups xD
I just want freedom… I bet people take college for granted x-x

It’s annoying how lots of people are like that too, just want sex. What about making friends? D:

I met a very sweet guy in college last year and dated him for six months. I met him randomly on campus outside one of the buildings. Of course, you’re probably going to find nothing more than a hookup if you meet guys at drunken parties.

But am I the only commenter who doesn’t have a problem with casual sex? Obviously, this isn’t the way to go if you are looking for a serious relationship. However, there is nothing wrong with a guy/girl looking for sex as long as they don’t lie about their intentions.

@Nawnaa@xanga - I thought that too! Why does nudity have to be awkward? And if you are going to be uncomfortable about it later, then you probably weren’t ready (mature enough?) to have sex with that person in the first place.

Good tips. Wish my sis could have learned some of these from you.

My first year in college I realized that everyone in college was just a different version of everyone in high school. There are only so many different types of people. Who the fuck has time to date in college, anyway?

I guess you and I are on similar tracks. I played the non-commital, let’s just not label this thing with a guy, but there was a couple of guys I kissed at parties because I really did like them, and then got brushed off. It sucked. My freshman year was just a mess, so last year (sophomore), I just didn’t bother. I focused on school and friends and stuff.

Good tips for us less than lucky girls who just find the flaky dudes.

This is definitely like 95% sure and the other 5% is just because there is a chance that you’ll meet someone and date them. I know only a handful of people that are dating from my college that I’m personally friends with. The funny thing is that they’re all in sororities are frats dating each other. My first year at college I was single and I was always flirting with the guy that lived next door to me in the dorms. We actually never did anything but hug, cuddle, and hold hands. We never kissed or had sex or anything. We hung out for all of first semester, so 5 months, but during second semester I started dating someone and a year and 7 months later I’m still with him. We did not meet at school though. I never actually hooked up with someone I went to school with or met at a party, but I’ve had propositions and guys that got a little too close for comfort. You just don’t go to college looking for love. It could work out, but you don’t want to get your hopes are. Guys and girls are still experimenting and having fun in college (at least the first few years) so it’s better just to wait and see what happens. 

I’m going to be a jr this year in college & last year I took a class called sex and romance in the 21st century. The class mostly focused on relationships of college kids.

Basically, the class stressed that college has transformed into a hookup scene as far as relationships go, and anybody that wants to actually date & commit, is part of a small minority.

Based on this class as well as my own experience… this entry is dead on. Finding guys that want to commit on a college campus, in my opinion, is kind of like finding a unicorn.

ahh thanks so much! this was actually helpful. i’m going to be a frosh and i am looking for a guy to be with in college… dunno if i want to start a relationship or just make out with him (definitely not sex! not yet!)

Well, if you’re going to parties where the “popular people” are hanging out, then yeah, you’re probably going to run into some really big fucking douchebags.  Frat parties = place to get fucked by a complete neanderthal idiot.  I knew lots of girls in college whose objective, besides getting a degree, was to find a husband.  I was like, excuse me, are you still in 1953??  I mean, if it happens then cool, but going into it expecting to find true love is really stupid in my opinion.

I never really went to many wild parties and in four years I had one phone number/random hookup, and I learned from that one time and it never happened again.  Hang out in the music building, there are plenty of good-looking guys there who are smart and talented and not totally full of themselves.  But to me, ability to play piano really well = 1,000 extra sexy points, and I realize that is kind of weird and not everybody’s thing

@Female_Machine@xanga - No shit, I had no time to date in college.  I had, I think, 2 actual boyfriends in those 4 years.  And it’s also true about being the same types of people as in high school…there are still the “popular kids” and nerds and whatnot.  But in college I just stopped giving a shit about that, and it was pretty awesome.

I go to college to go to class. I don’t talk to people, I don’t try to meet people. I have plenty of friends but it’s school. it’s never been a social event for me.

haha um possibly stop getting so slut faced drunk and maybe youll find a guy who wont want to just plow you

i’m sorry but you have to be an idiot if you were previously unaware of these 6 tips prior to reading this.  .. and for that, I feel bad for you and whatever future endeavors you’ll run into.  yikes.