I always thought it was the guys who were the jerks in the dating game. No offense, guys - I haven't had the most pleasant experiences with them when I was younger. But as I've gotten older, I've come to see that a big reason why many guys act like jerks is because of the way girls treat them.
Over the past few months, I've heard so many times how guys have gotten screwed over by a girl. And these girls are vicious. When a guy screws over a girl, typically it's because he cheats, or he ignores her, or doesn't call her, whatever. But after the girl gets mad, that's pretty much it. Guy's gone, and healing process can begin.
But I hear of these girls who will play these horrible games with these boys. And I feel so bad! No one deserves to be played like that.
One story I heard was a guy who liked a girl, even though she had a boyfriend. The girl and he would write little notes to each other, and then she gave him her number and they'd talk on the phone every night for a few weeks (obviously this was younger). Then one night her boyfriend called. After that she just stopped talking with him.
Obviously she liked the attention. But to lead him on like that just to trash him in the end? He said she never explained why, either. If you're going to ignore me, have a good reason first.
Another story is a guy who liked a girl, went the extra mile for her...just to find out she had this ex fiance who was trying to win her back. When you're trying to fight several people that doesn't sound fun.
And one I heard recently was when this guy and a girl had a fight, misinterpretations occur, and this girl jumps right from him to another guy. While they were dating, she'd ditch him often last minute, but he still held on. Anyway, it turned into a virtual war between them, and she went from him to this other guy and leaked some personal information about him. Wow.
I've noticed girls will continue the battle when it's over, and will lead boys on because they like the attention. DON'T DO THAT!
You see, I think guys are just as sensitive as girls. Our society though tells guys to be all touch and macho and crap, so I guess they just have to hide it or something. And I hear so often from guys that before they get their hearts broken, they would've done anything for the girl - the extra thousand miles, changing themselves, tons of chances...and then she screws him over, and they say "Fuck it" and have a permanent guard up. They don't want to open up. Why should they when so many girls act like this?
Girls, be careful with boys. If you know he likes you, and you like talking with him, don't get all weird about it. Keep being friends with him. If he really likes you, he'll respect that. Unless he's trying to get in your pants or your intuition tells you otherwise I don't see why you have to drop him from the face of the earth.
If you like someone else, have a boyfriend, or just like being single, and a guy likes you, let him know from the beginning. Don't lead him on. I know the attention is flattering, but trust me on this one, there's not much worse than seeing a guy's face crumble when you tell him you just had platonic friendly pursuits.
If you're trying to get a boy's attention, please for the love of God don't hook up with other boys or flirt with them. Dating is hard enough without people playing games. The thought of stringing a lot of guys along sounds fun, and for awhile, it can be, but when you've got to tell these guys that they were just a stepping stone, it's a huge blow. And most likely you won't get the guy you're pursuing.
And please, stop dragging on a heartbreak. Stop telling your ex about how awesome your new boyfriend is. Stop running back to him saying you love him, to only toss him away. Boys are not property. They're people, and can hurt just like you.
Girls tend to be more forgiving. Guys tend to retaliate more. That's what I've seen from my experience.
Please be careful. Guys are generally sweet, but it's hard to bring that out when you're hurt.