Sharing chores is expected when you live with someone else, but not everyone splits them the same way. You may think dividing chores with one or more roommates is easy, but keep in mind there are multiple, sometimes fragile egos involved in this conversation about something considered generally unpleasant.
To get a feel for where everyone stands on the subject, call a roommate meeting one evening to talk about chores – decide what needs to be done, who is purchasing supplies, who will do what and how often it will get done. Here are some ways to evenly split chores with your roommates to minimize conflict and keep your apartment looking great. With open, relaxed communication, you’ll be on your way to a clean apartment in no time.
Make a list of chores. Probably, you will make a list like this: Clean the kitchen, sweep the floors, mop the floors, vacuum the carpet, dust, tidy up, scrub the toilets, sink and bathtub, shake out doormats, change linens, clean out the refrigerator, take out the trash, dust ceiling fans, clean light fixtures, wash the windows and pay bills. The last one just means that one person should be in charge of opening the bills, dividing them up between roommates and letting the roommates know what their portions of the bill are.
List supplies needed to accomplish these chores, and split the cost of them evenly. Everyone benefits from having the trash taken out, the carpet smelling fresh and the countertops being clean. Dividing the cost of the trash bags, carpet freshener and all-purpose cleaner eliminates the feeling of one chore or supply outweighing the others.
Decide how often these need to be done. Some chores, such as mopping the floor or dusting, will only need to be done every two weeks. But cleaning the kitchen, sweeping the common areas and taking out the trash should be done more often. Make sure you both (or the three of you) agree on how often each item needs to be done, as everyone doesn’t grow up with the same notions. Also, someone should stress that the chores don’t have to be done at a particular time of day, just as long as they’re done by the day or the day after they’re expected to be completed.
Determine who doesn’t mind doing certain chores. Maybe one of your roommates secretly loves dusting, or another one finds vacuuming therapeutic. While it’s true that doing chores isn’t exactly fun, some are more enjoyable than others. Go ahead and get these out of the way. For some of these, you could always take turns doing the same chore, just as long as you make this known first and chores are still split equally.
Divide up the other chores evenly. You can do this however you choose – by flipping a coin, drawing chores out of a hat or just taking turns volunteering to do them. It’s probably best to make this part of the process as random as possible to avoid hard feelings later.
If it helps, make a chart or calendar of when chores are to be done to help roommates remember when to do them. This is where sensitivity is key – some people resent seeing their names on a marker board in an obnoxious color next to the chore they least like doing. Instead, opt for a wall calendar, write everyone’s duties down in a ballpoint pen. After a while, the calendar won’t be necessary.
Don’t pester. The calendar is there to remind your roommates of chores, not you. Be considerate if your roommate has a lot on his or her plate, and offer occasionally to switch chores if you see it will work out better that way. And don’t obsess over details. If you like certain things done a certain way – i.e., if you prefer your sheets ironed – maybe you should be the one changing the sheets. Realize that everyone isn’t going to do everything like you do.
How have you split chores with a roommate in the past? Was this helpful?
Photo Credit: iStock/cnicbc
guest
Never roomed with anyone, but it sounds like a pain in the butt. My best friend’s roommate in college never helped her out with anything. And when they were supposed to bring the stuff to the dorm to share, she didn’t even buy the broom (which was the one thing she was supposed to bring), so my friend had to buy everything.
sunflower / 302 posts
Great ideas! I’m living in a five person apartment this year with two of my best friends and two random people we have never met. It’s easy to get friends to do their fair share without (too many) bitter feelings, but this calendar system might help broach the subject to the other two girls.
guest
Yeah, I live in a 6 bedroom house right now and I’m going to be renewing the lease on Aug. 1st. The landlord only wants to deal with one person on the lease (i.e. me) so I’ll be responsible for what happens to the house, paying rent, etc. for all 5 other girls and all my current roommates are moving out so I’m getting 5 completely new ones. Since I’ll be in charge I’m DEFINITELY having a chore list or something.
I don’t want to feel like everyone’s mom, but how things are going right now NO ONE cleans up after themselves and our house just gets so gross… just can’t wait to actually be in charge and be able to say something about it lol
daisy / 727 posts
None of this ever works. My roommates and I were never able to split chores evenly. There was five of us and I think it was the same two of us that constantly did everything and sometimes we managed to guilt the other three into helping out. I shouldn’t say it never works, but everyone has to be really committed to making it work or else it’s going to always be the same person doing everything. We even tried the whole don’t do anything and get the apartment disgustingly messy until someone cleans it. All that resulted into was getting cockroaches. Sometimes it’s better to just do it yourself instead of creating a hassle.
guest
BLEH! Having roommates sucks. It never works out that nicely, although I do think having a calender/lists and having a talk beforehand could be helpful.
guest
I have lived with my best friend in a two bedroom and a four bedroom with different roommates for a year and a half now. I have lived with ten different people in the last two years. No matter who the people are or what you try to do, cleaning and divvying up chores is never easy. I’ve done chore charts, lists, “family dinners” where we discuss expectations and problems…nothing works.
I’ve found that cleaning in front of your roommates is the best bet because if they’re the “I’m a clean freak” type then they SEE you cleaning and can’t complain to you. If they’re the lazy “I’ll get to it later” type and they see you cleaning, they feel guilty that they aren’t and will usually pitch in.
The only thing on here that I really agree with from experience is if you’re the only one who wants the toilet scrubbed at least once a week, then you’re going to have to suck it up and do it. Sorry, but if nobody else cares about it and they let it get dirty, bothering your roommates to do it or threatening them is NOT going to work. I have my own bathroom but one of my roommates caused literally EVERYONE to move out because she was going crazy about this toilet thing, haha.
magnolia / 1369 posts
I’ve never had an official room mate but I do have siblings. Growing up my mom was single and worked long hours to keep up housed. Because of that my sister and I basically took over the chores and duties for the house.
My brother, being the only male, dealt with more outside work like picking up leaves or taking out the trash. Fortunately for him that only happened once a week.I liked vacuuming and my sister liked dusting/windexing the house. Besides that we’d both do everyone’s laundry together (as in we got everyones dirty laundry, sorted, washed, dried, folded, and separated). And the dishes we’d do as a team. One of us would put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and the other one would put them away after they dried.