Lovelyish

Weird law. It seems too traditional. It gives men more dominance over women, considering Japanese culture.

I wonder if the husband can take her name?

Asian culture is more family-oriented, while here in the U.S., we focus on individuality.

But it’s their country, they can do what they want.

I wouldn’t mind but thats only because I think the idea of taking a mans name is romantic and exciting.

However it must suck for those that would like to keep their name. :/

fucking patriarchy…

@JesyCole@xanga - Keep reading.

Really? I’m not a fan of this law, but it makes sense. Traditionally, Asian cultures value the entire family over the individual, and conventions like this one are a part of that. (You marry into a family, you conform in various ways.)*

*This is a blanket statement, obviously.

@calisartangel16@xanga - Opps! Skipped over that part.. Thanks doll!

I’m such a lazy reader.

Several things to point out. Yes, it is tolerable. Secondly, there is no law against incest in Japan, ( that I am aware of ) There are even several mangas with incest in them, most popular being siblings. Incest has been in Japan for ages, since the place was mostly made of clans. My favorite anime has an incestual clan, The Hyuuga. Neji Hyuuga, and Hinata Hyuuga are both of the same clan, and more like half brother and sister, due to their fathers being identical twins. As a member of the head family, it is Hinata’s duty to keep the bloodline pure, and not to delude the Kekki Gen Kai ( Blood line ability )

Another clan with ocular powers, is the Uchiha. However, their power isn’t as potent as it once was, due to constant marriages from outside the clan. Both clans were rather large, the Uchiha now holds two living members. So in such a large clan, most likely, like in ancient Japan, it wouldn’t be odd to marry someone you were distantly related to. This also applies to homosexuality. In japan, being gay isn’t odd at all, and it never has been. It’s interesting how a small isolated island is so accepting of such things that most people would find repulsive. Ironically, Tattoos in Japan are a ‘no no’ if you have a visible tattoo, and ask to go into a public pool for example, they will ask you to leave. They associate it with trouble makers.

i just asked my dad about this, and it’s because the family name is only passed down through the males. in the samurai era, it would make sense to require the wife to take the husband’s name, since marriage was usually for status.
and how can you judge a different culture with your own values?

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - the word you’re thinking of is dilute, not delude. and there is a law against incest. please do your research. the reason we have an aversion to tattoos is because it’s connected with the yakuza, which is a huge problem in japan.

Unfortunate. =/ It’s the little prejudices even in industrialized nations that hold women back.

I think it’s really up to the individual. A number of my married Japanese female colleagues kept their maiden family name because they found it inconvenient to have to update their new names on all the important records, such as bank accounts, government and company records, subscriptions, etc..

@aldane - On wikiapedia, it says incest is legal, however, you cannot marry. As for my spelling, interesting. Girls have power issues. 

A little odd, I guess. But I only think that because it’s different to where I live.

To be honest though, I’d hate to have a different name to my husband.

the root reason is probably to make record-keeping easier. you can’t judge another culture with your American views. over here, women’s rights is a big issue. you can rave about how it’s “prejudice,” but truthfully, over in Asia, it’s probably not such a big deal. chances are, most japanese women don’t care. plus, there are less surnames over there. many people may carry a very common surname so it probably won’t feel like they’re “losing” something unique.

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - lol, so confused about your comment. Love how you talked about Naruto and incest though. 

@bAbiiExxPiNay@xanga - It’s just an example. Naruto is pretty popular,  it seemed befitting, because more people would recognize it, rather than the edo period. 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - wikipedia isn’t excatly the best place to get all your information regarding a topic you are trying to explain to other people.  just saying.

@princessremy@xanga - Do you live in Japan? 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - does that matter ?  the point of my comment is saying how wikipedia is not a reliable source of information.

@princessremy@xanga - The point was to ask for a solid answer had you lived there.

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - and that’s not creepy at all ? i didn’t say your opinion/facts were wrong, just that wikipedia is not something people should be sourcing,

@princessremy@xanga - It’s really tiring how easily intimidated people are. I’m not going to hide under your bed to devour your flesh. As much as I would love to see Japan, I’m lacking the funds to do so. I’m simply asking for an answer. I will be as blunt as possible.  Is it prohibited or not? That’s all I am asking. 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - honestly, i have no idea, but a fellow commenter had say that it’s illegal.  and it’s not intimiation but being asked if you lived in a certain place online by a stranger … not a question i would normally answer.

@princessremy@xanga - Why the Hell would I care where you lived anyway? Also, you were intimidated by me from the start. You began to pull back with your words slightly. Stating that you did not know the answer was all you had to say. I just wanted to know if you could pull up a page so that I may read it, and more of Japan’s history. You really shouldn’t assume people would so willingly scoop you away from your home. 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - so choosing my words carefully as to not offend people means i am scared.  oh then i must be scared of my own shadow.  

you can always find many surprising/weird things in japan!

@princessremy@xanga - Did I say scared? I believe I implied treading lightly. Assumptions assumptions assumptions. I simply say what’s on my mind, and what I can see and feel. I have a high IQ and EQ. It’s  really not something that should be so coveted. It’s a pain in the ass really. I’m not easily offended, I’m just shrewd. Sharp as a blade, blunt as a stone. That’s my personality. I’m not mat at you. 

@soniality@xanga - yes ! especially all the weird product lovelyish posts

I see absolutely no problem with this. There are worse laws.

I think that some of these comments on this post are weirder than this law.  I don’t think it’s strange at all that Japan has this law considering the male dominance culture.  Although there is a choice in America, most people end up going with the man’s last name anyways. Although, I do have a story about how my Japanese friend was named Eri Arikawa and her husband’s name was Jon Perry.  She didn’t take his last name because then she’d be Eri Perry.  And that would just be silly. lol. 

Weird and annoying. Kind of seems like a simple thing to change so I wonder why they haven’t gotten around to it. On a related note, I wish more women over here would keep their maiden names. I hate it when people I know switch over to new unflattering last names just cause that’s historically what people do when they get married. 

@RieGravure - eri perry…lol! 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - hahaha I’m
so sorry, I just have to laugh that you’re describing yourself as a
person with a “high IQ and EQ” and that you’re “sharp as a blade,” but
then you use “delude” instead of “dilute”, and you mention that you’re
not “mat” at @princessremy@xanga. I’m not
doubting nor insulting your intelligence (though I honestly couldn’t
care less how high your IQ is); I suppose I just associate “sharp”
people with high attention to detail.

But anyway, with respect to this post: I agree with the previous posters that mentioned that 1. Asian culture is far more family-oriented than USA culture, and 2. as put nicely by @acin0m@xanga, you cannot fully judge another culture using American beliefs and values. Just because another culture does things differently doesn’t necessarily make it wrong. Of course, there are exceptions (genocide being the most obvious one), but spouses taking the same surname isn’t necessarily a bad thing (unless it happens to be Eri Perry! haha, thanks @RieGravure).

@inocencia_perdida@xanga - Power issues. 

Personally… I don’t see the big issue with taking your husband’s name. Personally. 

Speaking as a Japanese language and culture major, I know that Japan, while innovative in some ways, is still behind in some aspects of society. Gay marriage is still not an option, though just a few years ago it was made legal for transsexuals to change their gender in their family registry.

Living with partners without getting married is legal, to my knowledge. Just like choosing not to marry when a woman gets pregnant unexpectedly, though the majority of couples end up getting married anyway.

Japan doesn’t place so much emphasis on “freedom” like the U.S. does.
There’s no such thing as a “right to bear arms,” meaning pretty much no
one except police are allowed to have guns. Just like how many American women end up changing their names even though they have the freedom not to,
this surname issue probably isn’t a big deal in Japan because only a
minority of Japanese women want or care about that freedom.

I personally don’t want to change my surname, and should I marry, I expect my future husband to be okay with that. But if I meet a Japanese person (very possible when I go to work there at the end of this month) and want to marry them and live in Japan, I have to abide by the rules.

@bAbiiExxPiNay@xanga - I second this!!

@Jinnex@xanga - On the contrary, I don’t see the big issue in NOT taking your husband’s name. Some people I’ve spoken to seem to find it strange and even unacceptable that I wouldn’t take my husband’s surname if I didn’t have to, as if I didn’t truly love him or something.

The statistics of marriage is pretty low in Japan atm. Doesn’t matter anyways, because nobody has time for relationships anymore.  

@KasumiCelesta@xanga -  To each his/her own, I think everyone should just do whatever they (as a couple) decide is best for them

There’s a thing called “Mukoiri,” where the man changes his name to his wife-to-be’s last name. It’s not common, but not rare either. It’s mostly done for families who have no males to keep the family name.

I just think of it as culture. Think of it this way– the Japanese people might wonder why Americans are able to keep their maiden names and never have their last names the same.

glad us Chinese don’t have stupid laws  like that. despite the fact that the two cultures are both follow Confucianism social harmony blah blah blah and family values but both very misogynist.No woman changes her name in my homeland.yes 90 so years ago some crazy bourgeois women bind their feet but no one changed their last name. 

If I’m going to marry the love of my life, why not take his name? Or at least add it on to mine?

@aldane - Thanks for clearing that up

Don’t people do this everyone else? Don’t they usually take their husband’s last name? It’s not uncommon for women to keep their maiden names in some cultures and countries…

I’m happy to get rid of my maiden name..I hate it soooooooo much! anyhow..

but again it depends on the culture..

Weird law is right. I’m not Japanese, but I never planned on keeping my last name in the first place (if I were to get married)

The law doesn’t state that the women must take the mans name. so i assume that it is tolerable. it depends on the person. situations vary. 

It’s funny how you mention that the couples can choose the womans last name, but few do. are you trying to make a point? 
well if you haven’t realized, that is just like in america. Few choose to keep their last name and many carry their husbands last name. i wonder why?
And they do give you the choice to keep your last name. your husband simply has to agree to take it.

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - i know for a fact that homosexuality has been welcomed in japan long before the Americans began to understand it. However, using the uchiha clan and the hyuga clan as an example is idiotic. 

Naruto does not reflect japan. Anime is like porn. Porn has incest. I’m not saying that Naruto is sexual, because clearly it is not. But maybe you will understand my point. 
And unlike you, i have been to japan. 
You need to choose better examples. i also do not believe that the girl was intimidated by your retaliation. 
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - is there nudity and homosexuality portrayed in Japanese art? if not, then maybe i’m wrong. 

@MyCongee@xanga -@bAbiiExxPiNay@xanga – It’s just an example. Naruto is pretty popular, it seemed befitting, because more people would recognize it, rather than the edo period.

7/7/2010 10:16 PM CrimsonxBallad@xanga (message) delete replySo, if you’re going to launch an unprovoked verbal assault, I’m simply going to say this. Please remove your face from between your ass cheeks.

@MyCongee@xanga - Not to like.. intrdue or anything, but is talking down to someone necessary? I mean, you’re being super show-offy and just plain mean. If someone says something that bothers you, why be so aggressive?

My question is.. what is that on her head? Is that a wedding ensemble?

i actually don’t care that much. ( but i am not japanese n i dont live in japan so yeah i dont care)

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - Haha, Naruto I never actually thought about that though…hm.

@inocencia_perdida@xanga - Spelling has nothing to do with intelligence. Some of the brightest minds are horrid spellers.

I think it’s way too feminist when a woman won’t take her husband’s last name. Get over yourself.

This is fine. The Japanese are way more family-oriented and take pride in family names. It unifies a couple and a family when they all share the same last name. I like it.

@selfsaboteurr@xanga - Oh, I know. I was mostly pointing out the “sharp” part – I said, “I suppose I just associate ‘sharp’ people
with high attention to detail.” And I want to make clear that I wasn’t trying to insult him; I just have a stupid sense of humor and found it funny

@inocencia_perdida@xanga - @selfsaboteurr@xanga - I might as well clear this up, since I seem to be getting way too many footprints. I meant sharp as in lacing my words with venom, while being blunt and otherwise stoic. As for my IQ and EQ, I’m what you’d call a retarded genius, on one side of my family, are chemists, and archetects. On that side of the family, a photographic memory also runs through the genes. I have a photographic memory, I remember the most random things, yet, I forget what the day is all the time. Now, to the other side. Bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and a few cases of mental under development.  Parts of my brain are highly over active, parts which aren’t active in most people, and other parts are under active, and those parts most people use on a daily basis. I suck at math, grammar, and writing. Hand writing something. It’s a very confusing thing, and my thoughts become tangled. If I had to choose something to explain how my mind works. Look up the Starry Night Panting. It’s a famous work of art, and revered as captivating beautiful and serene. That is not what I see. I feel bad for that poor guy. I see.. frustration, anger, confusion, so everywhere in each random brush stroke. The desire to smash something. A hundred thoughts in one second, thoughts that are twisted and tangled. I see the madness within.  My talents lie in creativity and insight.  I’m not trying to be an asshole, I understand people’s emotions, but not them at all. It’s complicated. But you guys should check out the painting. It actually amazes me how most people cannot see that. Serene my ass. 

I don’t know how it is in Japan, but here in Mexico the socially acceptable thing to do is to become “of someone”.
For example, let’s say my name is Jane Smith and my fiance’s name is David Searcy. Then I would become Jane Smith of Searcy.
I don’t particularly like that because it implies that your husband owns you.
However, as someone already mentioned, this was used previously because people would marry to gain status.

When I get married, I am not putting that “of” there.
I’d rather just be Jane Smith Searcy.

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - What is EQ?
And I know what you mean by not knowing what you had for breakfast but remembering the first present  you opened up on your fifth birthday. Sometimes it gets very annoying. I feel like none of the things I remember will ever be useful in any way, shape or form …

@not3000@xanga - Eq has to do with understanding emotion. If You have ever heard of an empath, well, you’re currently talking to one. It’s not something that should be so coveted, it’s annoying. I can pick up on emotional, and physical pain. I feel it. Try being an empath at the dentist when someone across the hall is having a root canal. 

@not3000@xanga - I think the reason you remember those odd things is because they held a powerful emotion, so you cling to it. 

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - I had actually never heard of that. That is so … interesting, but I do understand why you say it is annoying. I wouldn’t want to be at a dentist’s office ever! I’ll just stick to my unnaturally high tolerance for pain (except for when I’m sick, only then would I give anything to actually feel the pain before the infection was full blown).

@CrimsonxBallad@xanga - I suppose so. People say I should write down all those odd things I remember, I just forget to do so. Maybe I’ll whip out my mini composition notebook and actually try to remember to write them down there. It could be a funny/interesting read.

American living in Japan.

As for people getting married but not “really” married, no that isn’t tolerated.

About keeping maiden names: Japanese people don’t have middle names.  So there’s nothing to switch to the woman’s original family name.  It either stays as it is, or it goes.  And of course, because it’s a pretty traditional place, it’s going to be the man’s name that becomes the family name.

Unless you’re foreign, in which case your children must take your Japanese spouse’s name by law, because you aren’t Japanese and they won’t let you give your foreign name to half-Japanese kids.

My personal opinion: that’s fucked up.

Being of Asian descent, not necessarily Japanese but one who lives in the heralds of tradition, I don’t find the law to be harsh or anything.  I find it quite understandable.

As for the whole incest thing (I did live in Japan a few years back), there is no law against incest.  In fact, the law against the practice was abolished back in the 1880s.  However, it is looked down upon and considered immoral if families should engage in incest.

many of the laws in japan are very old, or based on older legal codes. the US is completely different because almost all of our legal code is less then 300 years old, while parts of japanese law could be considered to be more then 1,000 years old. think of societal differences between now and 300 years ago, and then 1,000 year ago!!

anyway, in japan laws are based on a good/protections of the community mindset rather then a good/protections of the individual mindset then the US. i don’t think many of the old dude politicians give a shit that japanese women may not like the strong pressure to take their husbands family surname…

I think the choice should be there for a woman, although in my opinion, I wouldn’t care either way. But hey, whatever floats their rubber ducky. 

Love all the posers here who think they know stuff about Japanese culture just by virtue of being huge anime fanboys. lolz  It’s like clash of the nnnnnnnnnnneeeeerrrrrrdds

I’d change my name to my husbands. It just seems right.

I’m keeping my name. 

@MyCongee@xanga - @nimbusthedragon@xanga - You have no idea how bad I wanted to stab myself in the eye with my pen as I was reading these fucking comments.  Did someone just cite a fucking anime/manga to prove a point?  Who the hell does that?

@Mr_Jin@xanga - ….virgins, probably. : D