Lovelyish

theres just no way to win this fight

It’s not only really the fact that they’re hot.. People just tend to attach different meanings to appearances that are usually not true… But personality in the end definitely outshines the surface.

It must suck to be called “hot” all the time.

)) thanks for the share, im not the hot girl, and i have no idea what man think about hot girls. But maybe you are right ))

@ossumisu@xanga - Yes! It’s the cliche don’t judge a book by its cover but when guys see a hot chick all they want to do is zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom and nothing more but of course, I don’t speak for everyone.

Well, it’s good to know that your eyes evened out. What you went through… not so good. It’s a shame that you don’t value yourself, and that really isn’t going to be based on what anyone else says or thinks.

@betterdesigned@xanga - I agree. I’ve had guys call me that often at one point, and I hated it… because I associated it with a bad connotation. It felt like they were saying that I was nothing but a face and a body.

I think it depends so much on how a girl carries herself. A lot of the people I consider most beautiful are hot, but carry themselves in a modest and intelligent way. They don’t look like they spend all day staring into a mirror, or looking past people, or inflating their egos. 

The guys I speak to say that they don’t take girls seriously if they’ve got big fake boobs up under their chin, a fake tan that looks almost orange, big long fake nails that render them incapable of every day activities and so much make up on it makes their faces appear larger than they really are.
To be truthful though, it shouldn’t really matter. I mean, at the end of the day presenting yourself as someone you think other people will find attractive (both aesthetically and personality wise) is just as bad as judging other people by what they’re wearing or what they look like. 
People should work less on what other people think of them, and more on what they think of themselves
-s

From a guy’s perspective.

It seems to me like you’re whining. If guys label you as that, obviously you haven’t met any good men. 

@sparkletone1684@xanga - “

@betterdesigned@xanga - I agree. I’ve had guys call me that often at one point, and I hated it… because I associated it with a bad connotation. It felt like they were saying that I was nothing but a face and a body.”

I think she was being sarcastic, because people should really take a compliment if it’s meant in a way that’s not degrading or ironic. 
But I get your point, the word “hot” does have bad connotations sometimes. 

…… Not all men are douchebags; most are, but not ALL. 

@betterdesigned@xanga - Ha, right? 

So um…I don’t want to read TOO much into this, but I mean, are you saying if men take me seriously it means I’m not “hot”? Not that it really bothers me one way or the other, because if you ask my husband he’ll tell you I’m smokin’ and that’s the only opinion I care about. I was the ugly kid for a long time. I grew into myself, and I’m no Aphrodite I suppose, but I’m a good looking woman. But I think the key is shaking the “ugly girl” mentality. Rock your personality. And then it won’t matter. A big personality is more noticeable than a great rack or a pretty face. This is why all kinds of people get married. “Hot”, “average”, and “ugly”. But remember that a) those modifiers are highly subjective, and b) choosing to be with someone who isn’t classically “hot” doesn’t mean they’re settling for someone “safe”. It more than likely means they found someone who they find beautiful, inside and out. And until YOU think you are beautiful, inside and out, it’s unfair and unrealistic to expect anyone else to do so. 

@SophiElizz@xanga - Yeah, I was being a bit sarcastic but, at the same time, being called something over and over again gets old.

no, PEOPLE in general don’t really want to settle with anyone who lacks a personality, regardless of their looks. not so much in my own personal opinion, but in the opinion of most people i’ve encountered, i get the reaction that i’m ‘hot’ [i'm usually wearing makeup, i have long hair thats usually done in big waves,& i have a large chest so that adds to the stereotypical image] but i also have a personality, an education, and a sense of humor, and i do get taken seriously. in fact i can’t recall ever NOT being taken seriously. basically, there are dumb people who can’t see past a stereotype, and there are also a lot of people who give meaning to stereotypes, but just because you haven’t experienced anything other than those two types of people does not mean that everyone thinks that way.

i definately agree with the comment that was posted above mine.

the secret is to be happy.  without anyone else’s approval.

Errmmm.. Maybe you should try not caring so much about everyone else & feel confident in yourself… 

@gtcbeauty@xanga -Thank you. You honestly just said everything I was about to say.

It doesn’t mean guys don’t take hot girls seriously, it just means you have to make your personality shine through your looks, so that everyone knows your looks aren’t all you have to offer. I know for a fact that not all “hot” girls are viewed as objects. I get that reaction, but I am NOT an object to anyone. I think you just need to embrace who you are and be confident in yourself. Make yourself someone who’s worth getting to know.

This post is sad.

Anyone who won’t date you for something as stupid as how hot/pretty you are isn’t worth it.

I think being called ‘hot’ is gross and i would hate to be described as that. Its so juvenile. You need to find a guy who calls you ‘beautiful’ or ‘gorgeous’.

From a man’s point of view.  This post is dead wrong.  Hot women get my attention, I tend to ignore the less attractive ones.  Not intentionally by any means but it just seems to work out that way.

If you don’t like being called hot then chill out on the makeup and hairstyling and let your self slide.  I guarantee you that will do the trick.

…No one is going to take you seriously unless you take yourself seriously. You want to be ‘more’ than what you claim people only see you as? Start acting like it (because it appears you’re rather passive about all this), and adopt a new mindset. Don’t rely on others to build your esteem.

I think sometimes in life girls are not taken seriously when it comes to careers, if you are attractive that normally just adds to it. I’ve had a problem with being what most people say is “hot” when almost all of the friends I’ve had wanted to get with me. The majority actually wanted to date me, not just get in my pants. Beauty attracts the man but confidence and personality is what makes them want to stay. So as far as relationships go, you have to like yourself before anyone else can truly appreciate you. Be yourself, even if it is odd, quirky, clumsy, etc. I am all of the above and embrace it. My friends, exs, family and husband all love that about me. As far as intellect, at least we get to take them by surprise.  

Guys should be more open-minded. Hot girls can be smart/funny/… I think what’s on the inside and outside should count. If a guy’s attracted to a hot girl, he should want to get to know her and see if he likes her personality too. I get a lot of compliments from guys who I think like me. I’ve learned that all they want to do is hook up with me though…I guess there’s no way to win.

You went to my high school o.o

the problem with these kind of posts (‘guys only like hot chick’) is that its a generalisation, and it supports the medias representation of beauty.

If we all have our own definitions of beauty, and stop lumping people into groups then we wont have these issues!

@theatric@xanga – i second that !

Ehh–I have to disagree.

Unless you’re using the word “hot” as a synonym for “slutty” then i would agree.Cause I’m hot and people take me seriously LMAO =D 

I run into the people who think all pretty blondes are stupid all the freaking time. All you can do is prove them wrong.

ironic, isn’t it? as visual as men are, they don’t take the “hot” girls seriously. hah, stupid.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being called hot. Yeah, I wouldn’t want some random guy calling me that, but a friend? Sure. A guy I know well/is interested in me? Okay. My boyfriend calls me hot a lot. But a lot of being hot is acting that way and being confident. To be honest, he started talking to me because I was “to put it lightly” attractive…but after that, it was all about our conversations and personalities. I feel like hot implies a guy wants to do you while gorgeous or beautiful is more admiring. I think beautiful or gorgeous requires more than a superficial understanding of someone.

Biologically speaking, being attractive is super important. After you’re in a relationship, don’t you want a guy to love the way you look? Otherwise he’ll stray…believe me, he will.

See? It takes more than just being hot or good looking.

Sorry If my post seemed so generalized. That is just my situation currently, it doesn’t have to be, and isn’t everyone else’s. I’m sure there are good people out there that don’t fall under any categories, but sadly i’m from one of the most fast paced cities in the world, NYC…and people are so quick to judge.

I just wanted to write something to give another view to those girls who believe that men will only like them if they are “hot”.

Thanks for reading!

i hate that lovelyish changed the title of your post! i liked yours much better because it made sense with what you wrote. also, kudos to posting this. you opened yourself up to criticism from all these people, but i hope you know how admirable you are. =]/

@SweetFobbyGurl@xanga - THANK YOU! I really dislike that Lovelyish changed MY title, and stated something so strong and one sided.

luckily i have brains as well.. ive never had this problem ever. (im the one not wanting to do the settling down) but i feel like guys just cant handle that pressure of being with someone hot.. my cousin is having this problem her bf is just all sorts of insecure

I take all girls seriously.

Heyy I have had this problem too. I used to have the bowl cut (my dad actually put a bowl on my head and my bangs STILL weren’t even -_-) up until i was 12 years old! I had really ugly glasses and my parents dressed me up in awful hand-me-downs from the 80s. I was short and stumpy (still am) and I wore boys’ clothing since the other kids asked why I was wearing a dress. Wait, what was my point?

Oh yeah. I grew out my hair longer, lost the awful Asian bowl cut bangs, wore girls’ clothing, and lost the Harry Potter glasses. But I still have the same mentality as I did before. Sometimes I hate myself for it, but I am sorta proud of it because I know I am still humble about compliments. I don’t get the “hot” comment a lot but sometimes I can tell when someone is complimenting me on my looks and they are not interested in anything else. It’s a little disappointing, but that just goes to show you that the people that are really interested in who you are will take the effort to get to know you better.

 @betterdesigned@xanga - hahaha really.

I think men say they dont want to settle down tih a hottie, because they probably feel like they cant keep up with them and/or feel like they will lose them to another man (insecurity).
I know what you mean by being treated differently b/c of your image. I get so many assumptions and stereotypes based on my looks (prissy, spoiled, bitchy, snobby…you name it!), but once they get to know me they know that I’m really different!

As a girl who’s been in similar situations as you, at least before I started caring about how I looked: it’s the personality. That’s a bigger focus than how “pretty” or “hot” one may have turned out to be. I’ve been what I consider as an ugly ducking, and I luckily grew into a face and body that people around me apparently consider attractive. However, that has very little to do with the real (and important) reasons why people truly like me, love me, befriend me, or go out with me. No matter how good I may happen to look to some, I know my personality will always outshine my exterior… as it should.

People come for the exterior, but stay for the personality. I see that in myself and others…I get attracted to people initially because of their looks, but even the hottest few guys around got boring fast when I realized their personalities weren’t up to par. Too bad though… what a waste of a pretty face/hot body.

Um… So a guy will never ever settle down with a ‘hot’ or pretty girl, right?
Except, they do, but not solely BECAUSE they are ‘hot’, although realistically that IS a factor. also, remember that different guys are attracted to different things…

I’m so glad that life after high school is so different! In high school, everyone already had their “groups” and most people dated within these said groups. College and after gets a lot better. You meet new people who don’t know what you were like in high school and don’t really care. People will start to get to know you for who you are. Just don’t change your appearance for the wrong reasons. Wear clothes and make-up that help you feel confident and happy in your own skin, not to impress certain people. The real you will come out eventually anyway.

You just haven’t encountered the right guy yet. These “guys” that say they don’t care much about a girl that’s hot are guys that are just looking for some ass. There’s going to be jerks like that out there but you also have to remember there are also guys out there who are decent.

In a way I agree with you , but I think I only agree with you to a certain point. Obviously everyone is attracted to what they consider beautiful.. regardless if it’s a good guy or a bad guy who’s only into looks. Personally I think it’s really easy to spot the shallow guys, and I ignore them so I don’t have that much problem… When I first met my hubby, he was handsome enough to caught my attention but I did not think he was hot. I think I was the same to him, beautiful enough but not hot. However, as we got to know each other he became more attractive to me because of his personality. I don’t think guys would not bring a girl home simply she’s ” hot”… I mean take a look at Kendra..she’s a playboy but still got married ( although personally I don’t think she’s hot.. but since she’s a playboy then I guess many men would consider her as hot).

I guess the point is, learn to spot the shallow guys and ignore them… because I think staying beautiful is part of my job being a woman. Many people know the saying of ” there is no ugly girl but only lazy girls”  I will always try to b as ” hot” as possible… it will not only give myself self-esteem but also give my hubby no reason to look else-where.

i’m told by many that i’m one of those ‘hot’/'pretty’ girls, but i’m taken seriously.

however, i do understand where you’re coming from. people think we’re just whining when we say that it’s hard being pretty, but in all honesty, it really is. it’s a struggle where you constantly feel the need to look good because everyone is watching your every move. they’re looking for the slightest flaw in your looks, and sometimes personality, anything to make you less ‘pretty’.

my fingers a twitching to type sniff…sniff…waaaaaaahhhhhh
If you are still that shy girl that feels ugly on the inside that’s why guys (or anyone else) doesn’t take you seriously.  Now that the bitchiness has been released a bit I’ll add people who don’t take the time to get to know you aren’t worth your time.

i don’t think i’m hot, but to a small minority of the male population who have never been around beautiful women, i am.  and those guys always make sneer remarks indicating that i must be a whore — since they are blind to my ballsy quarks, boring lifestyle, and fully-covered, never revealing outfits.  i suppose we all deal with our own double-edged swords now, don’t we?

people really find anything to complain about.

@betterdesigned@xanga - i know right

If they dont take you seriously you dont have to deal with them.

epic fail post imo.

why can’t every girl just be confident and not be insecure. insecurity is probably the least attractive trait.physical flaws can be easily overlooked if you have a great personality. case and point, i love fat comedians and prolly won’t mind dating one of them. russell peters<3 rice throwing at our wedding.

and OH EM GEE. this is the MOST ANNOYING MOST WHINY post in a while. im too hot, what can i do? LOL.

there are men that will take you seriously, either you haven’t been observing or you just haven’t met one.  anyways, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, for me, the smile says a lot.

sometimes the girl who tries to make herself hot succeeds. Once she succeeded she tries to retain that image, that ‘neediness’. At least for me, when i see a hot girl, most of the time she’s needy. But if you’re hot but confident as in not needy then you are alluring ;]

oh shit. I understand the anger in this post all too well.

PS you are so gorgeous

@katethoughts@xanga - im not even whining you bitch. and I don’t think i’m “too hot”. Do you even have the capacity to understand shit. Just shut up.

no way i totally relate to this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some guys are like oh your pretty and i say thank you and all but i dont feel itgreat post idk what else to sat cuz this is like story of my life

natural beauty in and out everywhere ftw… 

@iANNERSZx@xanga - look, your spitefulness is completely unwarranted miss all bark no bite. Guys take “hot” girls seriously. However, a man can smell your insecurity, the midriff you bare and the bra straps you show are all signs of low self-esteem and a desperate attempt to compensate for what is lacking inside. Even when you first meet someone, in 5 minutes a man make a decision whether to try to sportf*ck her or to court her. it has nothing to do with her perceived hotness.it has everything to do with the way she carries herself. a man doesnt just go oh hey shes hot im just gonna play w/ her and bring the plain jane to go meet moms. i know plenty of beautiful, and “hot” girls in school that guys just want to pursue serious relationship with.they have wonderful personalities, eloquent. so your post is unsound.

i think the problem is that if you know you’re the pretty type, you give out a certain aura naturally, without realizing your’e doing it. i’ve seen many pretty girls taken seriously, simply because they think they are average, and dont make much of their looks. 

@CrimsonxIllusion@xanga - LOL Agreed!

@katethoughts@xanga - Look at you judging me without knowing a thing. Exactly what I was refering to in this post. Ooooh you see my bra strap, big deal, I didn’t notice really. Way to analyze me because you have nothing else to go on. My point is, there is a lot to me, but men can’t see that. I carry myself just fine thank you. Like it says in the post “Now I was just another one of those “pretty” girls, but I knew I was so much more. “

The end.

Some guys don’t find the stereotypical “hot” girl hot. They find a different kind of girl hot, and they take them seriously. 

@iANNERSZx@xanga - Haha sometimes it’s so hard to cover the bra straps! You can’t have a different bra for every shirt. Jeez. That girl seemed a bit harsh. 

Hot girls generally are to fuck.
Pretty girls are to wifey up.
At the beginning of high school I was still trying to find myself, settled on the “goth” look as well. Soon enough I blossomed, still have my edge but generally dress “normally.” But still I wasn’t hit on by the “hot” guys do to the fact that I’m more on the crazy/goofy/weird side.
 Anyway, guys only want to be in a relationship with people they like, and usually that entails some personality. Simple as that.
Sorry you had to go through the rough years.

Beauty is fleeting, enjoy it while you have it because aging is not kind! but that’s kind of not a bad thing… I modeled in my late teen years. I dated quite a few guys who were all about me until they found out I wasn’t going to put out. These guys were studly and supposedly looking for Miss Right. I felt like an arm candy tease. A few years later, a few pounds later, a college degree later, maybe not so hot, but I like the guys I dated so much better because they liked that I was intelligent and that I was someone they could take home to mom. 

Since guys are more visual, I think they’re confusing “hot chicks” with “dumb chicks.” Like you said, you have low self-esteem. This means you have low confidence.

Low confidence = unattractive. 
Maybe people should realize that the stuck up, “hot” chicks are the ones who aren’t being taken seriously? I see a lot of guys go after the “hot” chicks and take them seriously.. if they have a brain.

What the hell are you talking about?

I only respect hot women. I mean, when an ugly chick has a good personality and smarts… it’s obvious she only developed those to compensate for her ugliness. When a hot chick is smart, funny, and kind, that means she chose to be that way.. even though she didn’t have to.

Obviously I’m just joking. What I really like are mature women that have abandoned all of their high-school generalizations about the world.  Accept that everyone likes different things, and that there’s someone out there who is going to like you too. Try it my way, and see if you aren’t happier and don’t get more respect from men.

This is more generalization. Guys are individuals. Not all of them feel that way about pretty girls. There are a lot of guys out there of varying hotness that are more than willing to look at a girl for herself and not JUST for how she looks. If you act superficial, however, then people will think you are superficial. Meaning if you walk down the hallway talking with your friends like a bunch of valley girls, that’s what people, guys and girls, are going to think you are. If there’s more to you than that, let people know. If you’re a private person and don’t let people know the real you until you get to know them…well that’s not the guy’s fault. Plus, you’re talking about guys who are in high school. They’re going to be saying stupid things like that, because that’s the level of the average high school guy’s maturity. There are exceptions, though, but maybe if you aren’t looking for them and are spending all of your time lumping all these guys into one category and one mindset, you don’t seem all that appealing as a person rather than an object. Honestly, if you aren’t going to take the time to get to know EVERY guy personally, why do you think they should take the time to get to know you personally and value you as an intelligent individual?

Idk, men take me seriously all the time, and I’m plenty hot.  ;) 

Naw, I’m kidding.  I’m not generally called “hot”, but I am pretty.  I’m not being vain, either.  I just am.  But not in the classically hot way.  I’m too quiet and self-conscious to be hot.  

Seems to me this will just filter out the guys with low self esteem. You might receive less interest in general, but wind up with a more well-rounded man. 

I’m crying a river for you.

But no really. Not to be mean (ok yes to be mean) but you’re hot now so who cares. At least people who are hot get approached so that gets a bigger chance of them finding who you are. I was in your boat when I was little (and to some part still am) but I’ve changed a lot ways away from women spitting on me going ew get away from me to some being like holy shit you are yummy (depends on how heavy I am though

Seeing it from most of the part from both angles, I say people who are hot and whine over never finding true love should really silence themselves (in more vulgar terms of course). My uncle was ugly for the most part of his life, is 57 and never had ONE single girlfriend. For people who whine saying wah I dated a few but they don’t get me then shut the f up.

Men DON’T take hot women seriously. Wonder why? Look at the adjective: HOT. Most hot women find out they’re hot and fail to develop themselves. Add adjectives to that then. Most women I know who are attractive get so much given to them they don’t work for anything better. Rarely are there any of these hot women who work to–I dunno–do something like be multilingual, read a book a week blah blah

Men don’t take hot women seriously because hot women don’t take themselves seriously. Get rid of the adjective “hot” to describe you and maybe they will.

This is the reality of it from age 16-28 we generally are into shallow things such as looks people and such. From ages of 28-40 we usually have most of that crap out of our system and seriously look for people to settle down with and actually go for the ” Nice guy / Nice girl “