Lovelyish

You ask for opinions on posts, thus fights spur from everyone speaking their beliefs.

If you ask “does this look good?” and I think it doesn’t, I will say so.

I give my opinion, but when trolls try to pick fights with me on here… I try to just let it go. It’s pointless to fight with them.

Good post!

Then stop looking at posts from Lovelyish…

Sometimes things get nasty but for the most part it’s about people being honest and other people not liking it. 

Not everyone is going to agree. Some might be blunt about their opinions. That doesn’t mean they’re hateful, mean people. It just means they don’t see the need to tiptoe around everyone. And when blunt people are around each other (even in the virtual word) and have differing opinions, watch out. 
I don’t see as many hateful comment fights as I used to…but maybe I’m just not paying attention anymore.

So just because we have opinions that means we have to be cude about it? That is all I see on these posts to this. “We have opinions” Equals. “We can be bitches if we want to”… yeah cause that is helpful and that is right… okay. Gotcha.

Honesty doesn’t mean that everything is okay. Often, honesty is what creates the most dissension. Everybody is different. Thus, everybody has their own opinion. These opinions will often clash as they are voiced.
I pride myself on being honest. I am an ugly and hatred-filled person, but I don’t hide it because I believe that being open and true to yourself is the best you can do. You can try to act as you are not, but you still know who you are at the end of the day.

@andsoshewrites@xanga - well said. 

yeah i don’t see fights as a bad thing i mean isnt the whole point of the blog posts to promote conversation?

i think really rowdy people just have a lot of aggression, usually its issues that have nothing to do with the post. i remember this one time i posted a comment, and this lady left this really bitter comment (hahah when dont i get those) and we went back and forth, only to find her anger about the topic was because of her sisters abusive relationship that she was in

so i dropped the topic since that was stupid anyways and said how when people are in abusive things its really hard and sometimes they kind of are incapable and frozen, and so might need some help getting out of it. than i talked about how that would be really cool of her and everything

and i never heard from her again

but thats why i like arguments- especially pointless ones, it just gets to the heart of the matter.

and its good for communication and when i responded i did it really well and you just hope maybe you made a difference.

I kind of agree with you. A lot of the posts on here are pointless and looking for something to bash. 

It isn’t about voicing your own opinion, it’s about degrading the opinions of others. She didn’t say in that post that everyone has to agree and they don’t. Have differences is what makes people unique and that’s a beautiful thing. There is no reason to sit there and go back and forth with how you find so-and-so’s opinion wrong. It’s an opinion. There is no right or wrong. You have yours and they have theirs.

Just because a comment isn’t what people expect doesn’t make it mean or rude. I have maintained that if Lovelyish wanted everyone to agree and get along, they’d disable comments altogether.

Not everyone is going to agree all the time. Yes, sometimes it comes off “rude” (I write it this way because what I view as rude may not be to someone else) but really, that’s how some of us honestly feel. I say nothing here that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face. Honesty is the best policy, whether or not people want to hear it.

@mywordsx@xanga - Agreed.

No it is NOT necessary. I swear I am new on xanga, and it almost made me give up completely. (I also have a pretty thick skin.) Great post; keeeep goin! ^^

just giving our honest opinion…. whether is negative or positive. when you do such public blogging… expect to receive comments from people from all walks of life… accept what you want and disregard the rest…

@breaking_expectations@xanga - AMEN.

I stopped visiting healthyish or whatever it is because I thought some of the post content was incredibly counterproductive and harmful. I stopped visiting. I don’t regret it.  

The comments in response to posts are always going to contain diverse opinions, diverse approaches to expressing them, and a range of self-restraint in their expression.I enjoy reading the ishes other than healthyish from time to time. I don’t see them or the dialogue that grows from them as a problem, it doesn’t bother me; most of the time I don’t even read the cattiness. But if I do and participate in it, I’m doing so because I can and I want to. If you have a problem with something, then remove yourself from it. I couldn’t change healthkicker (yeah, that’s what it’s called, right), you’re not going to change how horrendous you feel the environment has grown here. 

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where’s the cat fights?

@chell_kicks_08@xanga - @andsoshewrites@xanga - @breaking_expectations@xanga - @Paul_Partisan@xanga - You four. Are you aware of the most precious things you have? It is not money, it is not your youth, or even your beating heart, your very life. As humans, we are not meant o be solitary creatures. What if I offered you the entire world, everything at your fingertips. Everything, and anything, but at a heavy price. For you to live as the ruler, all other life would be removed from the planet. You, would be intombed. Walled in for eternity, in a silent, prison, called earth.  Your life, would be nothing, without those around you. Your friends, and your family. The most precious gift life offers us is each other.  Can you not see that? You do not have to like another person, but it isn’t necessary to cause pain as you please. Although it seems unfair, pain does have a purpose. From pain grows compassion.  But, it also creates hate. 

@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - I guess I don’t understand what you’re saying, exactly. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate the people around me. Some are very dear.

All I was saying is that I value honesty. Honesty doesn’t have to be brutal, but sometimes that’s all it can be. I am certainly not honest because I would like to cause pain (though sometimes I do cause pain, like anybody else).

@andsoshewrites@xanga - That’s partly my fault. I think on a strange level, so once I start thinking, I can’t exactly stop. I could give the energizer bunny a run for his money. However, you do seem to understand what I am saying for the most part. As you said honesty doesn’t have to be brutal.  But let me try to put it this way. A Small tribe in the amazon holds but 15 members, they have known each other their entire lives. They have no computer, no finery, nothing but the forest around them. They all get along very well, and love each other unconditionally.   Lets now say..  a 14 year old girl in the middle of the US, lives in a large city, and never has to worry about surviving.  She, will come home at the end of the day, unceremoniously dispose of her school bag upon the floor, complain, then vent her stress to others whom she’s never met online.  She, will mock whoever she deems inferior, and acts as if her life is made of gold. But inside, she isn’t happy at all. She is stressed, her parents fight, and other children are cruel to her.  Which life would you choose? If you had the opportunity to choose. A life of happiness in ‘poverty’ or a life of pain in wealth?  People forget. There is no stooping to another’s level, because we are all equal. My point of the post, was to remember this: Cruelty to others makes one feel powerful, but each person is born with their own power. They have the choice to let someone else’s power intrude on them, and poison them.. or, they could silently display their own power.  The power I speak of is free will. The one thing about humans that can never be taken away, and can never be altered. 

@chell_kicks_08@xanga -  100% agree. so frustrating.

I’m a very honest person and I will say my opinion about a product or an idea good or bad, and I will defend it. BUT I can’t stand when people bash another person, people don’t always agree and yes arguments start and certain ideas sparks debates which is okay, but when it crosses the line and people are personally going after each other in a hateful way that is not right.

I’ll be the first to admit I have strong beliefs about things and I can come off a little harsh when defending them but to belittle or judge someone I don’t even know is not something I would be okay with.

blah blah blah blah your face get over it…

Yeah, I have to agree. Some people on here say nasty things because they can. 

I REKON! once i got told off for my DP coz i had a blonde wig on-____-”

i was classified as ‘the white wannabe tryhard’

like srsly??? it wasnt even relevant about the post:(

well girls who criticise online and be rude is coz they have no guts to say it in real life.

is really sad.

i support ur post:)  and plus dont get too upset online, LOL coz morons r everywhere.

@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - Dude. I was agreeing with you… Sheesh. Sarcasm heavily. I was saying not to be a bitch to people. Re-read my comment please.

Ummmm…. if you’re getting this emotional over petty arguments on Xanga then there’s a deeper issue going on. There’s nothing wrong with a little argument.

On the enneagram, you’re a type 9!

@chell_kicks_08@xanga - I know it seems the lovelyish page no longer likes my computer. I apologize, the site  is jumbled up, to the point where  hmm.. it looks like an Xanga skin + Firefox, but ten times worse. 

@xDanielle01@xanga - I assure you, I am not hurt, rather annoyed.  I do not understand the need for constant fighting.  

@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - Its cool.

It’s one thing to voice your opinion, it’s another thing to be a bitch just because you like f*cking with people.

The best part? They think they have the right, and that you shouldn’t even have the right to stand up for yourself about it. Personally, THAT is when I no longer have control of my claws, and even then, I drive myself crazy wondering what’s going on in someone’s life to make them act this way and if I was justified in my retaliation. There’s been times that I stopped going on Xanga for 1-2 weeks just to ensure I don’t leave a bitchy reply and humiliate myself in the process.

People suck. It needs to stop, but hey, we all could use a step back from time to time to make sure we’re not heading down the same path. Hopefully that’s the message we’ll all take from this!

Lovelyish is a place for girls to speak what’s on their mind..

..but all I see are petty cat-fights, trashing on clothes and mindless gossip.

I want a sex-change.

Is this really most of the time? I can only recall certain incidents…And either way it has not annoyed or effected you enough to stop browsing. There is a point where you can just read the blog post without needing to know other user’s opinions. I personally believe that if you’re seeing all of these cat fights and trash talking, so much. You’re looking for it.

It often does occur where people enjoy being the watcher and not having the drama to deal with personally. It’s the reason why we have “Reality T.V.” and no, you don’t need to be a watcher of those shows to enjoy watching someone else’s drama. It’s what our society feeds off of.

P.S. Everyone lies. Whether it’s to yourself or not. You can get away with not lying to others, but we all lie to our self. It’s a psychological impossibility to not. And is this “Matt” person really a female? You seem to list all of these strong women and then blame women for being rude and mean, when it’s really not gender specific.

This is all my take on this issue. Yay Freedom!

People can disagree with certain posts but they shouldn’t go one step further and say hateful things about the writer or start going on and on about why they are so against you. This just sends comments in the wrong direction, away from the original post, and a battle between readers begins. 

@betterdesigned@xanga - Marry me.

@individually_surveys@xanga - Sure! *lol*

@betterdesigned@xanga - Ah, a Xanga engagement. My life is complete. haha.

@individually_surveys@xanga - Haha! Silliness. =P

@betterdesigned@xanga - teh internetz is serious bizniss.

Great post; you said it PERFECT!
This should be a place to talk and share. not bring negativity and each other down.

PS I think on a strange level too.. maybe if we were more ignorant, life would be that much easier.

@Winter__Raven@xanga - I feel sorry for you. 

@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - That’s just egging on. This blog post is completely dead. No point in replying to my comment so late. On the plus side, I do have more evidence and I can now back up my previous statement.