Normally I wouldn’t make a reply post, but I’m hating how my latest post on Lovelyish is being misconstrued into some twisted man hating list.
First off, I want to say thank you to everyone for the wonderful comments & compliments! You are the ones who totally got what I said, and have been very sweet to me. I appreciate it very much.
I just wanted to point out that my list was NOT motivated by backwards feminism or misandry. As you noticed, I didn’t put any bra burning, man bashing, messages in there. I meant it to be a list to inspire women to go out and do/learn things, specifically younger readers, since I know a chunk of Xanga users are younger than 18. It was written to be motivational.
I had great parents (not just my mother as you can see), relatives, and friends, who taught me many of these things on this list. I know not many have that strong support system, and it’s great to learn something informative. Sometimes a random person who comes up and tells you that you’re capable and wonderful in this world can do the heart so much good.
Can this list be useful to men as well? OF COURSE! I wasn’t alienating them from reading it, I was just targeting a specific group of readers. I know that there are wonderful men that treat women as equals. However, the one rude Xanga user who started commenting, throwing claims of misandry, not being of any real use to men, and saying feminism never works, is not one of them if you ask me. Telling us about “our place” and saying men invented the “vast majority of the inventions we use.” I never said they didn’t. By the way, going back to your comment about the car, a man invented it yes. What you don’t know is that MARY ANDERSON invented the first patented windshield wiper in 1903. What good would driving be if you couldn’t see where you were going?
A friend of mine on Xanga says she’s Egalitarian (meaning all people are created equal, and deserve equal rights and opportunities). I believe that too, but we all know that a majority of the world doesn’t believe that. There are, and have been, many, many MEN who support equal rights for women over the centuries, so let’s not forget about them. Just because feminism is about women doesn’t mean it was only women in the group.
Going back to the post, I was very careful writing it so it wouldn’t be taken as it was to certain people, but I think it’s a case of “I know what I mean, but they took it a different way.” I’m not apologizing or taking back what I wrote, because women do need to know these things, but I never said it was all men who held women back, nor did I say we don’t need men. You have girls out there who try to act high and mighty, and make other girls feel inferior so they don’t have anyone to rival them, and that’s just as wrong too. So if you haven’t read my original post yet, please view it with an open mind, and don’t listen to any other negative commenters who may try to twist it into something it’s not. And for those who did, or plan on leaving a negative comment, please reread it and see what I really meant to say.
guest
That guy pissed me off so badly. Misconstruing a great post, and twisting it into something totally different to his OWN eyes.
I hope he doesn’t contaminate THIS post with his bullshit reasoning.
That blog was terrific
daffodil / 1975 posts
I remember reading that post and found absolutely nothing wrong with it whatsoever. It was truly inspirational. Honestly, it was a much needed break in the piles and piles of “crap” Lovelyish usually decides to post.
You were brilliant, the list was extraordinary. Anyone I know would absolutely agree with me on that. You are amazing!
sunflower / 389 posts
Honey, I believe it was one specific troll that had this problem. This was a nice post, but it didn’t need to be written. The only way anyone would have taken your last post the wrong way is if they had their opinion ass-backwards to begin with. <3
guest
Eh. I just hate the “just yell fire” crap. That wasn’t a very interesting or helpful thing. Real self-defense should be taught, and women should know the real ways to defend themselves, and know how to kill if necessary.
Most men can kill most women with the flick of a wrist due to biological differences between the genders. Women should really know what to do to stop that.
dahlia / 2382 posts
@Mangonese@xanga - And I agree, partly. Self defense is very important & yes biological difference has some advantages. I disagree that just yell fire is crap though because it’s mainly about teaching you to GET AWAY not settle a score. The 10-15 seconds the guy is down can make all the difference. And it was free. I know places that offer free or low cost classes for women to protect themselves but everyone is in different places & that was the only thing I could send everywhere. =D
@wideopenskies@xanga - .Thanks & I agree. He only seems to comment with his “views” on serious posts & spread his crap around. Normally I ignore it but I wasnt letting him say crap about me or my writing that wasnt true. And I wasnt rude to him either but I dont think he has home training to begin with so many people are sick of him who havent even conversed with him.
What kind of “Grown” man goes around provoking fights with young women anyway?
dahlia / 2382 posts
@betterdesigned@xanga - @vixen_with_a_cause - Thanks you ladies!! =D
guest
I didn’t even read any negative comments – guess I commented sooner rather than later and didn’t read the troll.
I thought your list was absolutely fine!
sunflower / 389 posts
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - I love the second comment. Thank you!
guest
i think i got to the post before the trolling started, too. it was absolutely wonderful advice, and i saw nothing wrong with it.
dahlia / 2382 posts
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - @Morningstarrising@xanga - It later on when there was like 2 or 3 people who thought it was an anti-guy post but it was mainly that skot guy who trolls around. He’s so rude & nasty it’s amazing they keep his page open. You dont even have to start talking to him. He’ll just pop up, message you & butt in. What annoys me is he’ll only do it on serious posts, like the one I wrote.
That’s how I ran into him the first time. I was commenting on the post about Lou Jing, the half black, half Chinese girl on the tv show in China. I was talking with another girl & he just replied to my comment & he was so rude! He’s one of few people I can honestly say I have the displeasure of meeting on xanga. I dont mind discussing differences of opinion but I find him to be racist & chauvinistic, I dont want to waste my time on that.
guest
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - I went back and read. Eek. He and I have butted heads on many topics, and you’re right – they are usually relatively serious ones, not the “fluff” that is posted on most of these ish sites (for example, the one that I argued with him for 2-3 days about was the breastfeeding in public one on the Momaroo site. Not ONE coherent argument at all).
dahlia / 2382 posts
@Morningstarrising@xanga - I know. I think he’s lonely or something. That dude is like 40 going around picking on young girls & women probably because no one else talks to him.
guest
The only thing I found stupid about the post was the “EVERY” woman thing. No, not every woman should know these things. Only the ones who feel like they need to. We’re all different and all benefit from different things.
But I didn’t think you were being sexist at all.
guest
Whoever was mean to you was obviously crazy.
It’s so pointless to get mad over something so simple.
guest
That guy is such an idiot. I used to comment him back, but now I’ve realized that what he says is sooo ridiculous that either :
A- He’s crazy
or
B- He’s doing it for a laugh
Either, or- Rational thoughts won’t stop him.
guest
I thought it was an excellent list, but I didn’t see any bashing except for that one ridiculous guy who clearly lacks any life away from his computer screen. Isn’t there a way to block him or something? …. But point is, AWESOME list.
guest
@Mangonese@xanga - got any good tips? i am a small woman, and not very physically fit. i am aware that, no matter how well i’m trained, most men can easily overpower me. i’m making an effort to not feel powerless, and would LOVE something that makes me believe i can get away from someone hellbent on doing me harm.
rose / 917 posts
it was an awesome post and i did not get the man hating vibes from it however others might differ but really they might be reading a BIT much into it
orchid / 149 posts
I thought it was a great post. I absolutely think women need to experience and do more things for themselves.
guest
Your original post was great. If I were you, I wouldn’t give heed to anyone who misconstrued your words. In my opinion, they have no real reason for acting the way they do except for one thing: to cause trouble. Quite simply, some people are shit-starters and they get off on being assholes. No other reason. They just want to stir up shit because they enjoy it. Don’t give them the satisfaction of a reply. Sounds old-fashioned, but it works – just don’t engage them.
guest
=]
guest
Your original post was awesome. I don’t see a problem.
The entire list is true, and I’m glad you wrote that. Mad props to you, girl.