Lovelyish

i think your friend’s a bitch.
:/

sorry.
but thats just not right.

Sounds like your friend has money in your opinion, but on her end maybe that $2000 bag put her in the hole or close to it. It sucks, but if she does have money to spare she either doesn’t want to out of frugalness or she doesn’t like spending money that doesn’t directly reward or benefit her. ::shrug::

what is $10 compared to a $2000 bag, but wow :\ 

Damn, that’s raw. $2000 is not worth it for 1 bag, especially when you’re jobless. Why is this on lovelyish, though?

I dunno. I guess I’m cheap too. :T  I know it’s a good cause to donate to charity, but for a college student with little money, I sympathize with the stingy friend.  And I probably would squeeze my budget to support a friend, even though yeah, logically, it’s all going to the same end.

Because they don’t care.

It doesn’t affect them, so they don’t “waste” their time or their money on it.

It’s pretty simple.

And shouldn’t this be on Dollarish or something?

i don’t understand it, but…
the research says that the poor donate more of their money (proportionally) than the rich do. perhaps the poor just understand better what it feels like to be lacking something essential as good health from their lives? or maybe the rich only got that way by being miserly and selfish in the first place? shrug.

I was going to talk about how some people simply don’t like spending a lot of money, but in this case, I think it’s a matter of being a bitch rather than trying to save money…

i think you need to remember that of all of us,
some of us give time,
some of us give money,
some of us give love.
maybe she simply is not a money-giver.
your friend was probably going out of her way to offer you a donation… not out of support for the cancer society but out of support for you and your endeavors! so my advice: let it be and don’t judge her on the purchase of the bag. you are in no place to frown upon what makes her happy.

@black_lie@xanga - that’s proportionately… a poor person who donates 5% of their income might be donating a few thousand dollars while a rich person who donates half a percent of their income may be donating MILLIONS! …yet you are calling the person who donated millions miserly.

in my opinion, i always feel that no matter what situtation you are in, you always have SOMETHING to give. even if that means the little change that you have stuck in between your seats. i understand that times are hard in almost everyone’s situation but if she has the money for the handbag, she has obviously has enough for donating. if she was truly worried about her financial situations, she would have learned to budget herself as well and realized that that 2000 could be spreaded in other areas of her life instead of just the handbag. i’m a struggling college student but i always make sure to give to charities at times….even if its only a dollar. i don’t know your friend and maybe i might be missing something in this situation but from what you’ve told, your friend is definitely selfish.

@haltija@xanga - that may be true, but it’s not as if there’s only two types, those who make a couple thousand a year and those who make billions. it’s still true for middle class people… and then you might see poorer people donating more money than richer people

Yes I totally agree with sasha on the part that no matter what the case, there is always something that you can give. It doesn’t have to be money, it can be a lot of things. As mentioned above, maybe she wasn’t exactly a money-giver kind of a person. But in my opinion, since she can afford a bag worth $2,000, that just might not be the case. She’s probably just unaware of the cancer patients and what hell they are going through. She needs to watch a good documentry to bring her out of the miu miu world

Trust me on this hun I’ve asked this question MANY times.  The answer? The richest people are the CHEAPEST people and the reason?  They got rich by being so damn cheap.  The most generous people are often just middle class and not that rich.  Sure Bill Gates donates millions each year but what % is that of his total net worth?  They’re rich coz they were being stingy ALL life long.

i tend to realize that the richer you are, the cheaper you are.
well that is what i noticed from working at a restaurant..

I hope a rat will chew up her stupid $2000 bag.

woaah!! cant spare a lil $10?! surely that means nothing if your friend is able to spend $2000..
and the $10 goes to the cancer society..
disappointed in your friend..

@Iluvgillian@xanga - Why should it matter what percent it is of his total net worth?  Do we owe society a tithe of half our income?  In addition to the charities he donates to, Bill Gates has created ridiculous amounts of jobs, something these “generous poor people” that donate $5 have never done.  Why is a $5 donation from a poor person valued more than millions of dollars donated by a rich person?  Because when we make that distinction, we’re not valuing money, we’re valuing suffering.  We’re valuing a person’s actions only if they are harmful to themselves.  And that’s a little sick, if you ask me.

“They got rich by being so damn cheap. [...] They’re rich coz they were being stingy ALL life long.”

Or maybe they’re rich because they’re brilliant and, using their brains and talent, went out into the world to make something of themselves and succeeded instead of being content to just get by.  Being frugal might get you/keep you in the middle class, but it won’t make you Bill Gates-rich. 

If you want to whine about rich people, go ahead and slander the Paris Hiltons of the world, but don’t try to tell me Bill Gates-  the richest person in the world, as of 2009-  amassed his fortune by refusing to donate to charity instead of by skill and ambition.

As for not donating to charity-  as others have said, maybe she prefers to help in other ways.  For many, volunteering is for some a much more satisfying way to help since you can see the immediate effect, as opposed to throwing money out into the void and never knowing where it goes.  Maybe she’s disillusioned, having seen how much money has been thrown at this problem and how little progress has been made.  You can’t know, and therefore shouldn’t judge her.  A donation is not a tax, it’s not mandatory, it’s meant to be a voluntary contribution, given because she wants to.  If she doesn’t feel like donating– for any reason– you should just leave it alone.

@MiladyMasked@xanga - The quote ‘they got rich by being cheap’ was something that was often said to me all life long.  I of course, do not believe this since it takes a lot more than being cheap to become rich.  I did hear the aforementioned comments ‘become rich by being cheap’ from people in North America as well as Asia so perhaps there is a common misconception that perhaps that is why those rich become have become rich.  

I’m not ‘whining’ about rich people because although I’m not rich, I do have more money than most people my age so there is nothing to ‘whine’ about.  As to your comment about why a $5 donation from a poor person is valued more than millions from some rich person?  I am assuming you are not a religious person?  I’m not a religious person myself either but there is a parable (rather famous) by Jesus saying the rich man who donates such and such may seem like he’s doing a lot but because it is only a fraction of his wealth, it is therefore insignificant.  A poor person who has nothing but let’s say $10 donates all $10 and in essence they are contributing more because they’ve given all they’ve got.  As to your quote ‘Because when we make that distinction, we’re not valuing money, we’re valuing suffering.  We’re valuing a person’s actions only if they are harmful to themselves.  And that’s a little sick, if you ask me.’  Well I cannot speak on behalf of Jesus but who knows maybe he DOES value suffering because his suffering lead to our salvation. It is a pretty sick idea right?  But hey I didn’t write the bible.  For the record I DO NOT value suffering and I too, do not believe in donations because there are too many scams out there these days.  Donations should not be forced and should be given wllingly.

I’m extremely giving when I have money, but I don’t usually have a lot of money.  I spend it on necessities and then tend to use whatever little is left on other people.

@Iluvgillian@xanga - That story from the Bible has stuck with me throughout my life. 

that’s how she saved up for the miu miu bag

I saw the title and was ready to get all defensive.  I am cheap.

But I am not like this.  If I had committed to donating, I would.  No matter for whom it was.  Your friend isn’t cheap, she’s just stingy.  Considering her bag is two months of my salary…I’d say she probably has enough to spare $10.

@methodElevated@xanga - same here ^.^ It’s not HOW much u give but what % of your total assets you give that is meaningful (according to the bible)

@MiladyMasked:  Very well written….I completely agree with you. 

And people, there’s a difference between being frugal and being cheap. Being frugal is a good thing…maybe we wouldn’t be in this economic mess if more people do it.

It’s kinda like the same situation with donating blood. It’s not so much whether they’re cheap or not (or whether they wanna hang onto their blood or not), but more of the fact that they don’t care enough to donate so they don’t want to waste their money (or time). When the woman came into my health class last semester and asked that we donate blood, half of the class who qualified didn’t even want to bother. I wanted to donate, but of course I was underweight and didn’t qualify, so that sucked.

I hope you’re very sick, otherwise get your ass up there to the Relay for Life.  You’re no better than your friend if you are just a little sick and can’t give your time.

I don’t think it is your place to decide what another person can or can’t afford.  Unless you’re financially supporting your friend, it’s presumptuous of you to spend HER money or judge what she does with it.  The bottom line is that she gets final say over her finances, and calling her cheap because she’s not spending it they way you would is wrong. 

@Iluvgillian@xanga - i don’t think they value suffering so much as self-sacrifice… you can go without that new t-shirt and donate the money instead… you are making a sacrifice without suffering. i don’t think the religion actually calls on people to bring suffering into their own lives… but that’s just my $0.02.

@haltija@xanga - Maybe I’m speaking from personal experience but sometimes (for some people anyway) to depart with their money would be a certain kind of suffering.  Sure you can help others but at the cost of your own happiness and in the case of Jesus’ parable, the poor man pretty much gave up everything he’s got so in a sense his self-sacrifice added to his suffering.

$2000 for a BAG?! Just ONE bag? Wow… wow… just WOW. Thats a bit extreme when you don’t have a job.
This reminds me of what some girl that I knew at my school did.
During freshman year, an incoming freshman didnt come because she had just recently been hospitalized for cancer. So, by November or so, we organized a fund raiser to donate to her. You know bake sales, and all that stuff. We sold livestrong bands but with our school mascot name on it for $2, and this one girl bought it. So obviously that $2 went to donation. Then, at the end of the school year. After a long battle with cancer, the girl passed away. So, I was at my locker the day after she passed away, and the same girl that bought that livestrong band was talking to her friends when one of her friends said the girl passed away. I overheard her say this: “What the hell? Damn, you serious? I want my $2 back.” Thats heartless. Just seriously.. its $2, you buy a $5 lunch everyday… at least those $2 went to a good cause. Some people have fucked up views.

Some people can be so selfish sometimes.

I am broke, because I live with my boyfriend, and the only thing my parents help pay for is my phone bill. I am a full-time waitress and full-time college student, so needless to say, I don’t have a lot of money. However, I love to donate to charities  whenever I can (esp for breast cancer research). I’m poor and still donate.

@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I agree, should be on dollarish or something.

@Iluvgillian@xanga - @MiladyMasked@xanga -  That’s true, those that are rich know how to manage or earn their money. Also the rich are lucky or have a scheme to screw over the majority.

did no one get the part of her saying that she just got a new job, and she cant do relay for life cause she has to adjust her sleeping hours. then AFTER say, she has no job?? girl made 80k salary for the past four years. im not telling her how she should spend her money or where, i was just a little disappointed in a friend whom i’ve known for over 10 years now, can be so ungiving to such a good cause.

@MiladyMasked@xanga - THANK YOU. i hate how people think that rich people are simply lucky and selfish people. my parents both grew up in poor third world countries, and through HARD WORK, are in the highest income bracket ($372,951+). it’s not that some people didn’t apply themselves as much. they donate to some but not all charities, and tend to donate most of their money to family in their home country. they’re not cheap because they don’t donate to every single charity, so the op’s friend doesn’t deserve to be judged so harshly. she’s a college student, and she probably had to scrape every last penny for that bag.

Wow, craziness.  If she was willing to pay that much for a purse, you’d think she’d be willing to pay for a good cause…  Sorry to hear. =/

thats crazy, idk some ppl prioritize themselves WAY before what really needs to be

@Iluvgillian@xanga - that is such a dreary view of things. i like to pretend the world isn’t that sort of place… but you’re probably right.

@haltija@xanga - i totally agree! Its funny because the restaurant i work in does a charity “christmas party” for orphan children and you can buy them a present (they put a list of names, ages, if they’re boys or girls and what they would want from “santa” ) however last christmas i really didnt have the money to go get another present but i did work the christmas party (working i mean by serving the children and helping them with whatever they need) Its volunteer and you dont get paid for it. However this past christmas this one girl decided to harrass me about buying a present, but like i said i went to help out at the party and she didnt, but she was the one who kept bragging about getting gifts and what not, yet she can’t come volunteer her time…. eh whatever some people spend money, some people spend their time…

I don’t think it’s so much as being cheap as it is being selfish.  There are always people like that, but as long as the other half of the world is willing to help, we’re making progress.

:\

some people are just selfish. too bad she can’t see the benefit of helping others.

@haltija@xanga - I try to be positive but I’m only speaking from experience and from what I see everyday in my life.  If you think about it, the concepts of suffering and happiness are relative.  We can only define what is suffering based on what makes us happy and vice versa.  Just like in the real world if there are no poor people then there cannot be rich people.  It’s a shame because I read a study that said if we were to split ALL resources among everyone equally, we would not have starvation or famine problems.  So seriously, if you CAN afford it maybe we ought to donate a little. Sure MiladyMasked@xanga is correct in the sense that we are under NO obligation to share with the world what we earn/what we have.  We are free to choose what to do with what we’ve got but the fact of the matter is most of us have MORE than we need/could use.  Donating a small portion of that really would not hurt so much and we can do some good I s’pose.

I’m not going to pass judgement because for all I know she might have rented the bag to help her get the job and the ten bucks was scraped together to make her friend happy.

you should say “Did you lose your job a second ago because I’m sick?”

Very often, people around us do not hold the same values as we do.
A good cause to some other people may not be as important to you either. So you shouldn’t really be this upset about it. 

you can’t force something out of someone if they don’t care or aren’t interested in it. that’s just the way it is. but it IS sad how people can become cheap. i’m not generalizing nor judging your friend because i don’t know he. let’s just stay that was a misguided decision

I understand where you’re coming coming from. I’ve heard better and worse.

What bothers me is wastefulness.

I would rather donate 2000 to charity and buy a 10 dollar handbag myself.
I donate to The Bubel Aiken Foundation, The Human Rights Campaign, TWLOHA, and the ASPCA.

does donating to these big organizations really help? i used to be into these things…asking ppl to donate for a good cause …to fund $$ for ______ .. but to me it doesn’t really seem to do anything…they need money ALL the time and i think ppl are just used to being asked to donate money for some kind of charity that they dont even know what their donating to  

I wonder some of you will change your tune when you are diagnosed with cancer. 2 in 5 canadians will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, tha’s not worth $10 to you, but a purse is worth $2000.

Some of you need a serious reality check.

@beeeffkay@xanga - wow, i cant even believe this comment, huge stirdes have been made in cancer prevention, treatment and support. Try educating yourself before making such ignorant comments.

I agree that maybe she questions all the money that has been thrown into the cancer society yet how effective is it if no better solution or cure than whats out there? Maybe she would donate to a church where God teaches people that the only true peace can be found in Christ, because this world will always be filled with trouble and suffering. All I’m saying is maybe she has already chosen her donation will be going somewhere else. She could have already just donated 5000 to a charity she has decided on. What makes you so upset about not choosing this particular charity? Maybe a personal issue involved. It’s impossible to truly judge when you cannot possibly know everything about someone else’s life. I do understand your point though of hoping there’s a good explanation, not a bad one indicating she is selfish or does not care.