This seems like such a played out question, but thinking about it, I really do want my (in)significant other to consider me beautiful, or rather, make me feel like I’m beautiful. And it’s not shallow — there are far more objective ways of measuring one’s sense of humor, confidence, and intelligence. I have those things, but beauty is (usually) in the eye of the beholder. What about guys? I feel the question never gets asked. I asked a couple of my male friends what they wanted a member of the opposite sex to admire them for, and they were at a loss for words. Not one of them, however, said that it was very important for girls to find them attractive.
I was a little angry at my seeming vanity. I felt like I had internalized the male gaze. Can we externalize it back at them? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it seems like the beholder is always male.
It also seems like women are always the ones doing the attracting. But we pretty much established that most boys have the fashion/beauty acumen of a newly born baby seal (see here). Then why do looks repeatedly top the guy list of attractive qualities and not the girl list? I guess the crude way to say this, is why do you see so many hot girls with unattractive guys, and not the other way around? I feel like girls are implicitly valued for looks, and guys are implicitly valued for other qualities. This seems really unfair.
Guys are then actually the more shallow, for beauty to women is holistic, encompassing personality, intelligence, wisdom, charm, and so on, whereas beauty for guys lies in looks. It seems that women focus on the good, inner qualities far faster than men do, and I think this is troublesome.
Ladies, what are the qualities (whether they be physical, spiritual, or intellectual) that you want guys to notice and like about you? Gentlemen, same question. Why are girls under so much more pressure to look good than guys are?